The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (99 page)

Traditional wedding bands are a special breed unto themselves; they play at functions where the ages can run from eight to eighty and everyone wants to get in on the action. Also known as society bands, they do not only weddings, but bar mitzvahs, silver anniversaries, sweet sixteens—you name it. They can usually play a mean cover of “My Heart Will Go On” but can also pull off “That's Amore” and know at least one polka. Their repertoire invariably includes a few show tunes, Top 40, some swing, and classic rock and roll.

There are also society bands with a specific style that might work well for your wedding. In just about every town or its environs, you can locate a sixties band, a fifties band, a big-band band, a good danceable jazz band, and a variety of ethnic bands. So if you're into a theme or have a real passion for a certain era, see if you can hire a group that specializes in it. If you're lucky, they might also be able to perform most standards and have experience pacing a reception, but with a little extra flavor. (There's nothing quite like hearing the hora played by a reggae band, mon.)

You'll also be able to locate local bands that play regularly in clubs and at parties. Generally speaking, don't expect such a band to be able to smoothly segue from their own music to “In Your Eyes” without missing a beat. On the other hand, they'll probably be enthusiastic and spontaneous. And who knows, maybe they'll turn out to be the next Arcade Fire and you can say that they played for your wedding.

If you have your heart set on a particular band, check their availability before you set your wedding date. Popular bands book up months in advance, and having your first choice can be a deal breaker as you finalize dates. (“I'm sorry, honey, Arcade Fire isn't available until 2020. We'll just have to wait until then.”)

If you're having your wedding on New Year's Eve or some other major holiday, be forewarned that you may have trouble finding a band that's available. Even the worst band imaginable gets booked for New Year's Eve—everyone from an apprentice accordion player to Aretha Franklin is playing at someone's party somewhere. Peak party season actually goes from the second week in November through January 1. After that, bookings slow down again, and you'll get a larger selection of groups for a smaller fee.

When finding and hiring a band for your wedding party, it's best to ask around and get personal recommendations. Begin with your wedding army of caterers and photographers; talk to the musician who is performing your ceremony music. Other leads might be:

Call up a radio station you love and ask the disc jockey for suggestions. Unless you live in a large urban area, she or he will probably be more than happy to take the time to help you out.

Check with your local college music department, which can put you in touch with student musicians who love to play at parties and are considerably less expensive than professionals.

Call a booking agent. In Mel Brooks's
The Producers,
agents are portrayed as cigar-smoking guys always trying to make a fast deal for an easy buck. In some cases, this depiction of agents is dead-on accurate, but most of the time an agent can be very helpful in hiring for social events. Booking agents handle the marketing, billing, and paperwork. For this service they receive a commission, customarily 10–15 percent of the total fee you are paying. You do not pay the agent's fee—well, not exactly. It's built into the price quote you're given up front. Agents can be useful if you have less time than money, and often you can negotiate with them. If you have no local leads, start online at
www.gigmasters.com
.

For your garden-variety wedding band of average talent, you'll probably pay prices starting at $200–$300 per person, for about four hours of tunes. A Saturday night may be more expensive, and depending on the band's popularity and what city you live in, the going rate may hover around $7,000. A traditional wedding band should have their own wardrobes (if you want them in tuxes, you shouldn't have to pay extra) and provide their own sound system, sound person, and MP3s for their breaks. Be sure that these details are spelled out in the contract, even if you have to write them in yourself. Tipping isn't required, but if you're really moved by their performances, we're fairly certain that some extra cash wouldn't be refused.

Sound Shopping Tips

Check out the band's website and get a demo DVD of the band performing, which will give you an idea as to their sound and should let you know if you have the slightest interest in them. Don't be as concerned about the sound quality of the DVD as you are about the style, the vocals, and the musicianship. But if there is poor sound, be sure that it's the recording.

Ask the agent or band if you can crash a party or club date they'll be working, and watch the band do their thing.

Note how the band interacts with guests, how chatty the bandleader is, if the guests are responding to the music, if the volume is site-appropriate, and what the group's physical presentation is.

See if during breaks the bandleader takes care of providing canned music to fill the void.

Wedding bands (the performing ones, not the ones on your ring fingers) are usually made up of professional musicians who play these kinds of gigs regularly. You want musicians who enjoy playing at receptions and pride themselves on
making the best out of any situation. They should also
look
like they're having a good time; musicians with bad attitudes can kill a party.