The Everything Writing Poetry Book (23 page)

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.
    But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.
    Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapt power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Through the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run
.

With this description of the obstacles that will arise if they wait, the speaker of this poem hopes to convince the woman to accept his plea. As a reader, you might ask yourself how strong his argument is. Is it good enough to convince his listener? Does it convince you? Note the aspects of the poem that work well toward its purpose and recall them when you write your own carpe diem poem.

The Art of Persuasion

Since the argument laid out in a carpe diem poem is truly its central purpose, the images and figures of speech must give convincing reasons for the reluctant person to submit. The form of the poem, however, is for you to decide. Marvell uses iambic tetrameter and an AABB scheme, but you can try a sonnet, a pantoum, a sestina, free verse, or any other form you think will suit your goal.

To come up with subject matter, try a couple of exercises. First, describe the opportunity available to the speaker and the loved one. Perhaps they have a free weekend to take a trip, or a holiday that deserves celebration is approaching. Next, write down the obstacles—the shadows—that might arise if the speaker and the loved one wait too long to be together. Is one of them moving to a different city soon? Is one person ill?

Once these basics are established, a little flattery can't hurt. The speaker in Marvell's poem flatters the woman he loves, hoping to win her over. You can try this method in your carpe diem poem as well. What is your favorite feature of this person's face? Do you especially love the sound of her laugh or the way she smiles? If you prefer, you can begin your poem with flattery and then move into the specific aspects of the situation.

A Tempting Offer

A close relative of the carpe diem poem is the
temptation poem
. The temptation poem has the same purpose of coaxing a reluctant listener to grant the speaker's wish. However, the argument is different. Instead of the pressure— of time, place, or imminent shadow—set forth in the carpe diem poem, the temptation poem uses more subtle suggestions, hints, or even eroticism to appeal to the listener's desires.

Erotic Temptation

Eroticism in poetry does not generally allude to pornography or even explicit sex. While eroticism in a temptation poem calls upon the physical parts of love, passion, and the body, it does so in a manner that suggests mutual benefit for both lovers. The focus falls more on sensuality, beauty, and tenderness than a simple physical act.

To get a sense of the erotic in poetry, consider the following portion of a poem by John Donne, the last half of his “Elegy XIX: To His Mistress Going to Bed”:

    License my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below.
0 my America! my new-found-land,
My kingdom, safeliest when with one man manned,
My mine of precious stones, my empery
How blest am I in this discovering thee!
To enter in these bonds is to be free;
Then where my hand is set, my seal shall be
    Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee,
As souls unbodied, bodies unclothed must be
To taste whole joys. Gems which you women use
Are like Atlanta's balls, cast in men's views,
That when a fool's eye lighteth on a gem,
His earthly soul may covet theirs, not them.
Like pictures, or like books' gay coverings made
For lay-men, are all women thus arrayed;
Themselves are mystic books, which only we
(Whom their imputed grace will dignify)
Must see revealed. Then, since that I may know,
As liberally as to a midwife, show
Thyself: cast all, yea, this white linen hence,
There is no penance due to innocence.
    To teach thee, I am naked first; why then,
what needst thou have more covering than a man?

As you write your own temptation poem, consider the differences between men and women when it comes to love, passion, and sensuality. Investigate what tactics men and women use to tempt others. If you are a woman, try to write a temptation poem with a male speaker. And if you are a man, do the opposite. This exercise might provide insight into your own personal situation or an even broader topic.

Using Imagery

Some of the best temptation poetry walks the fine line between the suggestive and the erotic, alluding to but not completely revealing the physical aspects. As an exercise, make a catalog of body parts. Start with parts like the ankles or the elbows—parts that are not overtly sexual—and practice describing them in erotic terms.

For each body part on your list, imagine a way that it could be tempting. Describe the way the hem of a skirt might rest upon a woman's knee. Consider the way a shirt can reveal the ripples of a man's biceps. When you get around to writing a temptation poem, merely suggest these details without describing the action entirely. Your goal is not only to tempt the object of your affection, but also to tempt anyone who reads your poem.

Fulfillment

Fulfillment in love is one of the most satisfying feelings one can experience. Interestingly, fulfillment often comes in the aftermath of a relationship crisis or obstacle. For example, you might endure torturous months waiting for a guy in your office to notice you before he finally asks you to dinner. Or perhaps you agonize for weeks about asking the girl of your dreams to marry you. Just imagine your delight and relief when, after a romantic candlelit dinner, you offer her a ring and she says yes.

Many common crisis points that lead to fulfillment are firsts: first meetings, first dates, first kisses, etc. Therefore, when you write a poem about fulfillment, you may be returning to those firsts. If you kept a diary of those times as you experienced them, you have a valuable resource for ideas. If you didn't, then write out those times in narrative form first, making sure that you describe the events, people, places, and outcomes as accurately as you can. Don't wait too long, or you risk losing details that will affect the emotional tone of the poem.

You might also look at the crisis points described in the poems by Hardy and Wyatt. The crisis points are followed by rejection, which is the dark side (the shadow) of the earlier fulfillment. But both poems rely on flash-back—the speakers recalling past events—a technique you might use in your fulfillment poem.

Another kind of fulfillment results from a long, stable, happy relationship. This sort of relationship grows through the years and helps each individual within it to become a better person. Any problems that arise inside or outside of the relationship are overcome, making the relationship that much stronger.

A poem written about such a relationship will likely take all of those times into account, as if in summary. Such a poem is called an
occasional poem
because it is usually presented at a celebration of a special occasion, like an anniversary or a birthday. Traditionally, the ode form is used for this kind of poem.

Chapter 11
Writing about Family and Friends

I
t is natural to want to write about your father, mother, siblings, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and acquaintances. These are the people who accompany you during the most important events of your life. These people also serve as role models and guide you through major decisions and experiences. Whether you choose to depict them realistically or shape them into characters, they will constantly affect your subject matter.

Word Portraits

As a poet writing about the people you love, you can work like a painter. The only difference is the tools you use to create portraits of your family members. You will be describing the clothing, hairstyles, expressions, postures, habits, and laughs that make these people who they are in your eyes—the details that make them memorable. In fact, you have a few extra tools at your disposal for this task.

Appearance

The first tool you have to re-create your loved ones is appearance. In this mode, you capture the external details of a person—just like a painter would. However, you have the option to describe the whole person based on dress, facial features, and so on, or you can concentrate on a single feature, describing it in such a way that it becomes symbolic of that person.

For example, perhaps the one thing you remember most about your father is his hands. You might recall how they slid around the leather-covered steering wheel of your family's car as you drove to church on Sundays, the knuckles whitening around the turns. Perhaps you identify your mother by her soft smile—a sight that reminded you in times of trouble that everything would turn out all right. Use enough description so that your reader can see these people the way you see them and get a sense of their personalities without having known them personally.