The Fallen Ones (The Fallen Angels Series Book 1) (6 page)

Ilyana:

As
expected, the jog back from training was much slower than the jog there. I was
starting to feel drained from the day and was surprised to find how much that
small surge of power took out of me. Not to mention all the rain and mud, it
felt almost therapeutic, but now that we were arriving at the cabin I had a
moment to notice that I was not only sopping wet but covered in mud on the back
of my legs. I tell Levi to go inside ahead of me and get cleaned up and let him
know I need a moment to myself so he heads inside without hesitation.

I pull
my hair out of the pony tail and begin to wring it out on the porch and I sit
down and stick my legs out far enough to get most of the mud and grass off of
them before I attempt to wipe the excess water off of my skin. I notice there
are no ATV’s out front and realize Ephraim still hasn’t returned. I feel a
small pang of guilt when I realize it is probably my fault, stupid, buzzing,
non-powers! I leave my socks and shoes outside the door and give them a
sorrowful look when I think about how clean and nice they were, only a few
hours ago and compare it to how dirty they are from mud now.

When I
get inside, I hear the shower running in the bathroom and I make my way to the
table to pick up my cell phone, maybe, just maybe Ephraim has called or sent me
a text message, I flip through the phone for a moment and read a message from
hours earlier that Alya sent me “Congrats on your first day of training, there
is fresh bubble bath and an mp3 player waiting for you in your bathroom!” I
make a mental note and then close the message, disappointed to find that there
are no messages from Ephraim. I grab my head let out a frustrated growl and
mutter under my breath about Ephraim’s disappearing act as I drop the phone
back on the table.

I
reach for a towel that Levi clearly left out for me and turn my head to begin
drying the ends of my hair off when something catches my eye. He’s here. Oh
crap! He’s here, and he saw my little outburst. The smile on his face resolves
into a laugh and I immediately feel so embarrassed, I have no clue what to do,
so I pick up my phone and throw it at him. He catches it easily and apologizes
“I’m sorry, Ilyana. I didn’t mean to leave you stranded all day. I can call you
now if you like?” I am ashamed of myself but far too proud to admit it and he
is in too good of a mood for me to destroy it. I just shake my head “No, that’s
alright. It’s just been a long day. I thought training would be more,
physical.”

He
pulls out a chair for me to sit at the table “Do you want to talk about it?” my
first instinct is to say no, but then I realize if I don’t have anyone else
left to talk to about it. I take a seat and lean back in the chair refusing to
make eye contact “I had a power surge, but I lost it and couldn’t bring it
back.” He sits down across from me and nods “You know that’s exceptional that
you had one at all though, right? Usually our kind are trained from the time we
are small children and by the time we are in our early 20’s we are only
beginning to gather enough control of our powers to sense those around us or
recognize our own gifts – and that’s only for short spurts with a massive
amount of practice. To experience anything on your first real day of training
says a lot about you and shows that you are really putting in a lot of effort.”
While I appreciate his words, they do nothing to appease my looming sense of
failure. “That’s what Levi said too. That doesn’t make it better, I had to work
so hard just to start to feel my own ability at all and then I experienced it
and the momentary excitement caused me to snap back. I don’t want to spend
hours every day just wading through my thoughts so I can slow down enough to
start to maybe feel a glimmer of my abilities.” He looks at me and I realize
that he gets it, he is a perfectionist just like me and being second best or
inferior is not an option.

I
realize he might have an idea about what I am going through and it’s I may be
able to learn more from him. “Can I ask you a question?” his face turns serious
and he crosses his arms for me to continue, before I thought his expression was
harsh or mean, but now I recognize this as his business face, when he is
offering me his undivided attention. “Levi mentioned that I can make the people
around me feel sick, but he can turn his powers off so it doesn’t make him
sick. He mentioned he learned to do it much in the same way he learned to first
access his powers. If I learned to do that, would I be able to stop making
people sick?” his serious expression breaks and he lets out a small, annoyed
sound “Levi is so sure he can turn his powers off. He is my best friend Ilyana,
I won’t say anything bad about him, but I will say that he is a Nephilim that
got injured and has the scar to prove it, that doesn’t happen to us. I think
somewhere along the way, his wires got crossed and he lost some of his ability.
I don’t believe anyone can just turn it off, our abilities aren’t just what we
do, our abilities are who we are. It defines our rank, our ability to be an
asset to our team and even how much protection we can actually provide to those
around us. That kind of thing doesn’t just turn off.” I understand now why Levi
has been fine with his exile, if this is how his best friend responds to the
system they are under, I can’t imagine how the elders treated him. “I think you
should support Levi more, obviously he’s been through a lot, how much would it
hurt you to believe him?” he stands from the table and runs his hands through
his hair as he usually does when he is thinking “Believing him, means rejecting
the counsel and I am not ready to reject the counsel. Levi is powerful. But he
has not always been so good. For a long time he got involved with the wrong
people and regularly would go to the wrong places. When he wanted to stop
helping the counsel he turned to drugs – human drugs. That is almost unheard
of, there is no way of knowing what that kind of thing can do to one of us,
because it is something we simply do not do and our bodies were not made to
handle that kind of abuse.”

I
understand what he is saying and though I don’t support him or necessarily
agree with him, I can see his point. I decide to tread lightly and move onto
what will hopefully be a lighter topic. I ask him about his day and how his
sister is. His eyes light up, he disappears to the other room and comes back in
holding a book in a really odd way, almost like he is embarrassed to have it. I
wait for him to move closer but he hesitates “Now, I know it may sound crazy,
but there’s this idea about who you might be. I’m not saying it’s right, but as
your trainer, I feel like it is my responsibility to explore the possibility
regardless.” I lift up my hands to stop him “Is this more about that whole
Chosen One thing? Because I think you are all insane if so.” He looks surprised
at first then a look of recognition spreads across his face “Levi told you?” I
am hoping I didn’t just get Levi in trouble “No, I asked Levi why everyone is
handling me with kid gloves and literally leaving me in the woods instead of
taking me to the enclave where I can actually receive constant training and
maybe even have my own place to stay.” I realize my hands are balled up into
fists as I am speaking. He puts his hands out to calm me down “Relax, it’s not
a bad thing. I was just surprised for a second. I was about to tell you
anyways. I am sorry you feel like we have abandoned you in the woods though –
it won’t always be that way. The book actually mentioned something that might
help you.”

Just
then Levi walks out and looks at the book that Ephraim has now placed on the
table. His eyebrow quirks up and he addresses Ephraim “How is a book about
Fairy Tales supposed to help her?” then he turns to look at me “You do have
your own place to stay, for now it is right here. But, you need to make
yourself at home before Alya does it for you and paints the bedroom walls hot
pink.” I chuckle at the thought and then realize he has been listening a lot
longer than I thought, he pulls up a seat next to me though which is oddly
comforting, because at least it lets me know he is not mad at me for talking
about him.

Ephraim
opens the book to a page that he has carefully folded and instead of mourning
the poor page in the book that is now looking crumpled, I decide to skim what
he placed in front of me, it looks like a typical old fairy tale, a woman
overcoming the odds that are stacked against her, she finds the man of her
dreams and manages to save the day, all before I even have to turn the page!
After I finish reading, I sit back and look at him, I know he isn’t stupid, but
how he could buy into this is beyond me. “So, again, how is this supposed to
help me?” he folds the book shut abruptly and responds “We need to find your
anchor, it will bring your abilities into focus and maybe it will make your
training easier.” For a moment I allow myself to hope and ask him about the
anchor “So, I take it we are not talking about a literal anchor. What would my
anchor be and how do we find it?” he explains that it would probably be
something tangible or something I am attached to, maybe an old piece of jewelry
or something similar. I think as hard as I can and realize I don’t really have
any attachments and most of my jewelry was purchased from the dollar bins at
the mall that I promptly wore and lost – I really hope I didn’t lose my anchor
but then I realize I am being crazy.
“Ephraim, I appreciate what you are doing – really. But there is nothing I am
attached to like that. I think we are all just tired and want some answers that
probably aren’t even out there yet. I would like a training shortcut, but
unless something presents itself, we are just going to have to keep doing this
the hard way.” He gets a grave expression on his face “I am not willing to
agree with you for good, but I will let it go for now if that is what you
need.” Levi asks to hold the book, Ephraim hands it to him and he walks off to
his room with it. I begin to stand to go get cleaned up for the evening but
Ephraim grabs my arm and stops me “How do you feel about training with me tomorrow
for a change of pace?” I feel excited at first, but then I think about my lack
of control over my powers, even if it is only an annoying vibration to him for
now, we have no way of knowing that it will stay that way, I can’t risk hurting
him and Levi doesn’t even have to sense it at all. I offer him a small smile
and catch his eyes when I look up “As much as I want to train with you, I think
I maybe gained some real momentum today with Levi, I would like to see if we
can take it further tomorrow.”

He
takes his hand off my arm and for a moment looks as if I rejected him, I
quickly grab him by the arm, not willing to let him shut down again after all
he shared with me today. I stand on my toes and lean forward in an effort to
get closer to eye level with him – though he still towers over me “Ephraim,
it’s not you. Levi just helped me shut my mind down, I have never been able to
do that and I am not sure if I am even capable of shutting down like that
around you.” I recognize what I just said only after the words have already
spilled out of me, I break eye contact and prepare to walk away, but he pulls
me closer and it finally happens. He kisses me. I expect the earth to shake and
the sun to break out, but instead I realize it just feels nice. I feel safe and
secure with him. I can feel his passion pouring over and for the first time in
my life I realize that someone out there wants me as bad as I want them. I grab
the collar of his shirt and struggle to pull us closer when suddenly Sasha
walks in and starts whining and I pull away.

Shock
sets in at what I just did and I have no idea what to say. I can barely look
him in the eyes now and just moments ago I was drawing on him like a wild
teenager. My cheeks are flushing and I look up to say something and he interrupts
me “I’m sorry Ilyana, I shouldn’t have done that.” Then he walks back outside
into the rain without sparing me a glance. I begin to question how it could
feel like I have lost something when I knew all along that it was never mine to
begin with.

Ilyana:

It’s
been two weeks and again I find myself in the same place today that I have been
visiting for the last two weeks now. My bursts of power are getting stronger
and lasting longer, but not by enough for me to significantly use them. I have
noticed that when I really work hard at focusing my efforts upon opening my
eyes, the fuzzy colors settle into more of an aura and they settle in around
every living thing. Even the grass has its own aura, of course it is just a
faint green – but it exists, and I know it! Levi has his own Aura too. When I
told him it was a bright neon pink he thought I was joking, at first even I
questioned it, but the more I get to know him, the more it fits. He is always
happy and excited. Everything he does is vibrant, he doesn’t halfway commit to
anything and in spite of his age, he remains so youthful – not like Ephraim.
While Ephraim appears young, there is something about his eyes that I find
haunting, it is like he has lived a thousand life’s and has known nothing but
pain – I am dying to see his aura, but so far I haven’t been able to focus my
abilities around him enough to. Not to mention ever since the incident at
Levi’s cabin a couple weeks ago, he has really been keeping his distance. At
first that bothered me, but I decided to let it go since I have no control over
it anyways. I am just grateful I have Levi and his calming consistency. He is
my closest friend here and he is kind of an outsider in the same way that I
seem to be.  If he wasn’t so playful and young acting, I would have to say he
feels like the big brother I never had.

For
now though, Levi is obviously feeling frustrated. We have been out here for
almost two hours and I have not been able to control my abilities at all, he
says it is disorienting and keeps complaining about a sickeningly sweet scent –
I haven’t asked him, but I believe it is getting more difficult for him to shut
off his abilities around me. I pity him, but selfishly I want to keep him
around, because as much as I hate to admit it, he is all I have right now.

He is
pacing back and forth and looks up at me with a confused look “Are you sure you
did it right? You thought of everything and pictured the light switches turning
off?” I groan “Yes, Levi. I am sure. Maybe my senses are just fried, or maybe
this is all that I am. That could be it. Maybe if we show the counsel how much
control I lack they will let you stop training me! They’ll have to realize I am
not the Chosen One then!” something in me grows excited at the thought. But
Levi doesn’t seem quite ready to buy in “I understand you don’t want to be the
Chosen One. I would be the first person to admit that the counsel is shady at
best and I think they enjoy feeding us all a lot of lies, but the more I am
around you, the more I get the feeling they might be right about this one. I
can’t put my finger on it, but there is something different about you, and in
spite of you thinking this is the extent of your abilities, you need to realize
you haven’t even accessed your abilities yet, you are still just learning to
brush the surface. I can sense your power though and I would be lying if I said
you were normal or weak.”

I feel
slightly disappointed but I trust Levi enough by now to know that he would
never lie to me or try to make the counsel look good. He’s not the kind of man
to waste time on silly missions and if I am being honest with myself, the more
I touch and taste my powers, the more I want to. The process itself is
draining, but in the few seconds that I reach the surface of my power – I feel
more alive than I ever have in my whole life. It is like a drug, but each time
I come back it is stronger instead of weaker.

As I
am contemplating my train of thoughts I hear the crunching of dry leafs and
look up to see Ephraim heading our way. At first I feel excited, but then all I
feel is angry. I haven’t seen him in over 4 days and the last time I did see
him, he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes or speak directly to me. It is like I
wasn’t there. Per his usual weirdness, he walks passed me over to Levi I hear
my name as they are speaking but like a defiant child I try not to listen
because I don’t want him to think that I care after how he has treated me.

Before
I know it Levi is patting him on the back and heading my way. He reaches down
for my hand to help me up and I take it without hesitating. He informs me that
he is going to take some time to look into different training methods and
Ephraim is going to take over for the rest of the day and work with me on hand
to hand combat. As much as I don’t want to work with Ephraim, I am excited to
experience a change of pace and as powerful as I know Ephraim is compared to
me. I think he will be surprised to find that I am not completely helpless when
it comes to combat. I always excelled in sports and fighting. In fact, if I
wasn’t already a social outcast in highschool I would’ve gone out for the girls
wrestling team, it is the one sport I always longed to do, but never had the
courage to.

I walk
over towards Ephraim as Levi is fading into the distance and he skips the
pleasantries and immediately goes in to punch me in the stomach. I am shocked,
but I move in time and he misses me. He looks surprised and suddenly my anger
has built into full on fury “What, are you disappointed you couldn’t hit me?” I
taunt him. “I wasn’t going to hit you. But I am surprised you reacted at all.
That’s good. Let me see how many laps you can run up and down the stairs and
then we will work on your fighting.” He gets a look on his face as though he is
eager to break me, but little does he know that I spend most of my down time
with Levi here running up and down the stairs to get all of my excess energy
out. I smile his direction and race for the stairs, taking them one by one as I
usually do. After a few laps of not growing tired I look his way to prove a
point and he nods his head and commands me to start taking the stairs two by
two. Well, that’s new. But I have to show him that I am not as weak as he
thinks. I am shocked at the difference in my endurance though, at first I am
able to do it without problem, but after about 20 minutes, my thighs are sore
and my butt is all but begging me to stop.

He
notices the sweat on my face and my struggle to breathe comfortably and takes
pity on me. He throws a towel my way and tells me to take a break and go get my
water bottle.

I do
as he says and almost immediately I feel lighter and more refreshed. He invites
me to the middle of the field where he instructs me on how to stand and how to
throw a punch, I already know but I allow him to show me because there is
something dead sexy about the way he runs his hands across my arms and hips
when he shows me what to do. He starts by having me throw punches his way and
when he realizes I already know what I am doing, he advances to kicks. I am
practically beaming when he is shocked to learn that I am not helpless with my
offensive kicks either. Then at the last minute he tells me it is time to start
fighting for my life, he grabs my legs and before I know it twists me
backwards. I surprise him by going limp like I learned in self-defense class
and I quickly spin around and throw a few punches his way, I land one or two
and am shocked to see that it really hurts me, I secretly wonder if it even
hurts him at all, but I can’t show any weakness.

I know
it is a low blow, but I was starting to feel desperate and at the last second I
change my methods and go in to kick him where it counts. He knows what I am
doing as soon as I realize it and he spins and kicks the back of my other
kneecap so I fall backwards – it actually hurt and I can’t believe he did it! I
am completely outraged. He extends his hand to pull me up and I refuse to work
with him, instead like a child I yell at him “How dare you! This is only our
first time training and the first time you even are acting like I exist in two
weeks and now you are kicking me and throwing me to the ground? Who does that,
Ephraim?” I ask as I get up off the ground and begin to storm off “You can’t go
around kissing girls one week and then disappearing and kicking them another.
That’s not fair and you know it!” he looks confused and scratches his head
while chasing behind me “How is fighting ever fair? I am training you, I
wouldn’t have injured you, but you will find when you are fighting the demons
that the damsel in distress act doesn’t really do much for them. You knew what
you were doing far better than I thought and I wanted to challenge you!”

I stop
walking and turn around slowly to face him and in the calmest voice I can find
I address him “Fine, Ephraim. You are right. Fighting is not fair, Life is not
fair and men are not fair. But this game playing of yours has to stop. I need
some time to be by myself, I’m going to walk away now and you are going to let
me.” When I look up, I expect him to be calm, but he is clearly insulted that I
talked to him like he is an angry dog “Hell no you aren’t going anywhere! We
are just getting started! This isn’t about your childish moods, PMS or your
little crushes, when someone is really fighting you it is going to be life or
death!” Without so much as hesitating I charge him, I don’t know what I intend
to do, but as I am running with the singular goal in mind of hurting him I can
feel my powers beginning to overflow, everything is illuminated around me and I
see his grayish blue aura, I can’t stop myself, before I ever even reach his
chest the force of my anger and my abilities send him flying backwards.

For a
moment I am left shocked and feeling guilty, my powers fade and I clumsily run
over to him “are you okay? I am so sorry, Ephraim! I don’t know what I was
doing – I didn’t mean to do anything like that!” he looks up at me in awe as he
slowly begins to get up “I think I am okay.” He stares at his feet confused and
looks up at me “I think you can take some time to yourself now though, do you
know your way back?” I nod at him and begin to slowly walk backwards, horrified
at what I just did. My walk turns to a run and before I know it I am at the
edge of the island on a beach that I have never even seen. All I can do is run.
I am running to escape Ephraim, running to escape this prophecy and running to
try and convince myself that I can still escape, that this is not who I am
becoming. I stop myself when I realize that I can’t outrun this, I am becoming
a monster and I don’t even have any control over it.

I feel
the tears stinging at my eyes and begin to look around for shelter, it is
getting late in the afternoon and I can tell the rain is about to set in, the
last thing I need is to be crying alone in the rain. I spot a cave facing away
from the water, close to the shore and head that way.