The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (9 page)

Y
ou can’t buy fate.

N
ever be afraid to mislabel a product.

M
ore is good…all is better.

A
wife is a luxury…a smart accountant is a necessity.

A
wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.

N
ever allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.

W
hen in doubt, lie.

D
eep down everyone’s a Ferengi.

N
o good deed ever goes unpunished.

A
man is only worth the sum of his possessions.

W
hen no appropriate rule applies…make one up.

1. Infatuation
   : An unreasoning love or attraction…“I want it.”
   

2. Justification
   : Moral excuse used to explain…“I must have it!”
   

3. Appropriation
   : To take to one’s self in exclusion of others…“IT’S MINE AT LAST!”
   

4. Obsession
   : A compulsive or irrational preoccupation…“My Precious!”
   

5. Resale
   : The action of selling something previously bought…“Make me an offer.”