The Hawk and the Jewel (Kensington Chronicles 1) (32 page)

Holly was really worked up now, and Sunny was hurt by her words. Still, she said nothing.

"I know people think I'm featherheaded, but I've got a peace and contentment that you can't even grasp. Now this last time-you snuck off to the mill and came home so tired that your body couldn't even fight the cold you caught.
Tou almost died. Sunny?
Holly nearly shouted at her. "And then where would you have been? I'll tell you where-in hell-separated from God forever!**

Holly's chest heaved for a moment, and she continued a bit more softly. "I didn't think it was possible for a person to care like I do about you. I love my parents, but you're so dear to me, Sunny, that I can't even express it. I know that you think we go into our graves and sleep for all time, but you're wrong. When we die we must face God as our Savior or our Judge."

"And what if you're wrong?" Sunny interrupted, her voice subdued.

"Then I have nothing to lose. I'll just sleep forever in my grave," Holly spoke calmly, prepared for the question. "On the other hand, if I'm right, and I believe I am, you've got everything to lose."

The two stared at each other for long minutes, and then Sunny watched as Holly's eyes filled with tears. "Have you really heard anything I've said to you, Sunny? Have you heard anything
anyone
has said to you since you came to England? Or are you going to be off on another flight-of-fancy in the next few weeks? Chasing after some

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dream that can't bring you lasting joy or fulfillment because the only One who can do that is God's Son."

If Holly hoped Sunny would repent of her sins on the spot, she was to be disappointed. Holly went on to tell Sunny that she would love her no matter what, but that in the future she was not going
to
be timid about her faith. If Sunny wanted to talk, she would know that Holly was there.

Sunny thanked her for explaining and made her way to the house and then to her room, where she sat in a chair, deep in thought, for nearly an hour. After supper she returned to her room as soon as she ate. Again she sat, and would have continued to do so, but Mrs. Boots and Christie came along, ducking over her not being ready for bed.

Staying quiet because she saw that her mistress was preoccupied, Christie brushed Sunny's hair out. Christie left her sitting in a chair once again, the bedside lantern turned high. Not until the door dosed did Sunny show any sign of life.

Taking the lantern with her, she rose and went to her dresser. In the top drawer were her treasures: the box from the emir; the rope star Kyle had given her on the ship, three years ago already; letters from Miles, Brandon, and Heather; and on the bottom, the Bible Rand had given her for her birthday last year. She lifted it out, and in doing so, her eyes landed once more on the jewel box.

"If Holly is right, then we're all lost, Indira and Rashad-all of us." Sunny stood in the dim room and looked up. She knew that Rand, Chelsea, and all the family bowed their heads when they prayed, but Sunny wanted to look upward.

"I've never even tried to talk with You because I don't believe You're there, but now I'm not sure. I'm afraid You are there, and that You're angry because IVe been so willful."

Feeling quite foolish for speaking into the air, Sunny stopped for a moment. But something compelled her to go on. "Holly said I would have everything to lose if she is right, but how can I know? Brandon is so sure he's going to see the duke. I can see the peace in his eyes when he talks of it, but I just don't know if I can force a belief that simply isn't there.'*

Sunny fell silent then and looked back at the Bible. She had never read Genesis as the duke had suggested. She knew something of the Bible's account of creation, but her memory was vague. Moving the lantern again, this time back by the bed, Sunny settled

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down to read. She opened to the first page and read, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth....**

Sunny read for the next four hours. She pored over the pages of Scripture. Noah, Abraham, Lot, Sarah, Isaac, Esau, Jacob, and Joseph all leapt off the pages at her. They were people whom God loved and were created by Him, and when they loved and obeyed Him in return, He showered them with blessings, even amid the harsh times.

Sunny was most taken with Joseph. Finally, in the last chapter of Genesis, when she thought he would have his revenge on his brothers for the awful things they had done, he offered them forgiveness. Joseph believed that God used his brothers* treachery so he would be in the place where he could best serve God.

And what about Ahmad Khan's deceit?
Sunny found hersdf asking.
Would I offer him forgiveness? What if his actions were God's way of bringing me to Him? No one in Darhabar would have told me what Holly did today, or what Rand and Brandon have been saying for years. O God,
Sunny tried to pray again.
I don't know how to believe. I mean, what ifTou're really there and all this time Pve
-

Tears streamed down Sunny's face, and she thought her heart would break as all her doubts continued to mount within her. She knew it was very late, but she had to see Holly. She had to tell her she couldn't believe even though she now wanted to do so. Without bothering with her robe, she raced from her room and down the hall.

Sunny wrenched the door open without knocking, and Holly sat up with a start. The room was black, but Sunny's voice told Holly in an instant that she was upset.

**I don't know how, Holly," Sunny cried. "All this time I've run away and now there's nothing there. I want to know your God, but I don't know how.** Sunny sobbed harshly into her hands while Holly lit the lantern and came to her. She put her arms around the other girl and held her dose.

"Come over to the bed,** Holly coaxed. "We can talk over there."

Sunny was willing to be led, and they'd just settled against the headboard when Chelsea's shadow fell over the bed. She carried her own lantern and placed it on the floor before leaning against Holly's footboard.

"Everything you said today was true,** Sunny cried. "I've never

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wanted to admit that I was afraid to die and that I am filled with pride. I read the entire book of Genesis just now. I thought I might be like Joseph, who believed God's hand had been in control at all time, but when I tried to pray, I just didn't know how. I just-w

Sunny couldn't go on, and her family let her cry. She sobbed for some minutes, and when she began to calm, Chelsea's loving voice came through to her.

"I think you need to ask God to help you believe, Sunny. There isn't anyone who wants you to believe more than He does, and I know He's just waiting to hear the sound of your voice.**

"But Chelsea, I didn't believe for so long, and I don't think He wants me now."

"You couldn't be more wrong, love. God is so patient. He longs for you to turn to Him, and I promise you, you'll not be rejected."

Sunny looked at Chelsea and then at Holly, who still had an arm around her. She lifted her face to the ceiling, her eyes young and earnest as she spoke.

"I want to know You're there. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn and blind to Your presence. I know I sin, and I want to believe that I can have eternal life.** Sunny hesitated, and when she spoke again her voice was filled with wonder.

"Your Son, Your holy Son provided the way, and I want to know Him. Rand said He died for me before I was even born, and I want to believe that, God. I have so many doubts and questions, but I can't go on my own any longer. Please help me believe; please help me to find You."

With a little help from Holly, Sunny placed her life in God's hands. She confessed her need for a Savior and asked Him to be her Lord. Just as Chelsea had stated, Sunny asked God to help her believe, and believe she did. After she prayed, the three of them read in the book of John where Christ was hung on a cross for the sins of all men.

Tears streamed down the faces of all three women as they discussed the magnitude of this love God showed to all mankind. Sunny read the words with new insight and love. Her heart filled with questions and joy.

It was in the wee hours of the morning that Chelsea and Sunny went back to their own beds, but that didn't stop Chelsea from waking Rand and telling him of Sunny's decision. His strong arms trembled as

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they hugged her, and tired as they were, Chelsea and Rand took a few moments to pray and thank God for His saving love.

When Chelsea had Men asleep, Rand slipped from the bed and made his way to Sunny's room. He placed his lantern on her night-stand and stared at her as she slept. He knelt next to the bed, and it was some moments before he even felt the tears that rolled down his

face.

O
heavenly Father,
Rand prayed in his heart.
Thank Ton for making her Tour own. Thank Ton for Tour patience and, all-encompassing love. Tou are so faithful. Lord. I knew such happiness when she came back from Darhabar, but nothing compares to this joy, Lord. Thank Tou, Father; thank Tou, Lord.

Rand's heart was too full to go on, but it didn't matter. A moment later he saw that Sunny's eyes were open and she was smiling at him. They moved simultaneously, and in an instant Sunny was wrapped in Rand's embrace. It was tempting to talk for hours, but Rand kept it brief.

"Welcome to the family, Sunny.**

"Oh, Rand," Sunny breathed. "It's real. Jesus Christ really is God's Son, and He loved me enough to die for me." Sunny could

not continue.

After another great hug, Rand pressed a gentle kiss to his sister's brow and rose from the bed. With a promise that they would talk in the morning, he left her to once again find her rest.

It was very late before Sunny woke the next morning. Someone had opened her curtains, and without rising from the bed, Sunny prayed as a new child of God.

"O God," Sunny spoke softly in the quiet room, not knowing what else to say. "Thank You," she finally managed, so overcome with peace over this renewing of her life. For long minutes she simply lay and thought about her life. She reflected on her restless spirit and the emptiness she had always known. And then with peaceful ease, her mind moved to the night before. She contemplated how all the emptiness had been swept away, to be replaced by God and the knowledge of His love for her.

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When Sunny did rise, it was with a delight and purpose such as she'd never experienced before. After she had learned that she could be financially free her entire life, she had been relieved. Now, however, she was a new creature in Christ and was just beginning to understand the true meaning of freedom.

in the hours and days to follow, Sunny constantly pored over her Bible. Unlike other times in her life when she ran from one whimsical pursuit to the next, she knew that Jesus Christ was there to stay.

Both Rand and Chelsea warned her that she might not always be excited to read her Bible and pray. "But whenever you feel that way," Rand told her, "those are the first things you should do. If you don't feel like praying, pray. If you don't feel like studying your Bible, get reading."

Sunny, in her newfound standing as a child of God, could not imagine such a feeling. She was like a sponge these days, taking in every word. Although she had never before been excited when Rand led the family in Bible study on Sunday nights, Sunny was now bursting with thoughts and questions.

As she studied on her own, the book of Hebrews swiftly became a favorite of hers. In the thirteenth chapter, Sunny found a verse she felt God had written just for her. It said, "Let your manner of life be without covetousness, and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

This verse became so dear to Sunny that it was the first she memorized. Years of searching and emptiness were wiped away as Christ filled her with joy and contentment. Rand, Chelsea, and Holly were all a tremendous help as Sunny discovered more about God and His Son every day.

Not everyone in the family was doing as well as Sunny in her brand-new life, however. It was at this same time, when Sunny felt

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more alive than ever before, that Brandon felt as if his own life were, coming apart at the seams.

The Duke of Briscoe, who felt as though all he did lately was sit at his desk working over the estate accounts, was glad to have Parks interrupt him. He was even more pleased when it was with the news that Dinah had come to call.

"To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?" Brandon asked as he moved to approach her when she came in the door, but the look on her face caused him to hesitate.

"Dinah, what is it?**

She didn't answer, but stood looking at him, her heart in her eyes. Brandon covered the distance between them and enveloped her in his arms. Dinah did nothing to resist him. It was going to make it all the harder later, but she selfishly wanted this one last embrace. After a moment, Brandon tried to kiss her, but Dinah drew away. That he was confused by her actions was clear, but Dinah moved to the window so she wouldn't have to look at the pain in his eyes. She looked outside for a moment and then turned to face Brandon.