The Highlander's Woman (The Reckless Rockwoods #3) (18 page)

The moment she did so, images of the fire filled her head. Patience drew in a sharp breath and her eyes flew open as she tried to suppress the fear wrapping its tendrils tightly around her. Despite her efforts to steady her breathing, her lungs constricted from a lack of air as panic twisted its way through her at lightning speed.

Fingers curled up into fists, her body became a tight ball as she fought desperately to hold back the paralyzing terror. It was a futile effort as images of the fire swirled in her head until she was there again. As if it had happened minutes ago, she swallowed her screams as she watched Caleb and Devin fall to their deaths. Her heart pounded as she froze where she was.

She could feel the flames licking her skin. Pain seared her cheek and arm, and she gasped at the memory’s powerful intensity as the smell of smoke filled her nostrils. The urge to scream barreled upward and out of her lungs, and she buried her face in her pillow as the terror erupted out of her. With each muffled scream, the fear slowly abated until the screaming died a quiet death.

A sharp click filled the air, and the faint moonlight streaming into the room revealed Julian standing in the doorway of the connecting door. He stood there with his head tilted, and Patience tried not to breathe or move as Julian’s tall frame filled the doorway. She was certain he’d heard her muffled screams, but his posture said he wasn’t sure they’d come from her room.

Frozen in place, she waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he slowly turned and went back to his room closing the door behind him. As the door snapped shut, Patience released a soft sigh of relief before tears rolled down her cheeks.

§ § §

Patience awoke to the sound of a commotion coming from Julian’s room. He was as grouchy as a bear, and his voice was sharp to whomever was assisting him dress. Remembering his agreement to ride this morning, she quickly tossed her covers aside and went about the business of performing her daily ministrations.

In roughly a half hour, she was hurrying down the main staircase dressed in her riding habit. Julian stood impatiently in the front hall, his riding gloves beating a steady rhythm of irritation against his riding breeches. He was the epitome of an arrogant laird annoyed that someone had kept him waiting.

“You’re late,” he snapped.

“I don’t recall our setting a time to ride, but I’m sorry if I kept you waiting,” she said quietly.

He grunted his reluctant acceptance of her apology, and with his cane tapping sharply against the foyer’s stone floor he made his way to the door. Patience didn’t say a word as he fumbled for the doorknob. When he opened the door, he stood back with his hand holding onto the doorknob with the obvious expectation that she should precede him.

As she passed him, Patience caught the faint scent of his woodsy cologne and her senses were immediately on alert. She was grateful there were no steps for him to navigate. The thought of him needing her arm made her feel incredibly vulnerable. The last time he’d touched her, he’d unsettled her completely. Lorne, the Crianlarich estate manager, was waiting for them a short distance from the front entrance of the house with Julian’s stallion, Romulus, and a horse for her.

Patience smiled as she recognized Remus. The gentle, yet fast-paced, gelding had been her favorite horse to ride the one and only time she’d been to Crianlarich. The horse had carried her far away from the vicious taunts of Julian’s father. She moved forward to rub the jowls of the animal. The horse nudged her shoulder in a clear request for a treat.

“Later, boy. I’ve nothing for you at the moment.”

“Here.” Julian’s voice was gruff as he pulled a few cubes of sugar from his jacket pocket and extended his hand toward her. She didn’t move.

“I’m approximately three feet away from you and two feet to your right.”

She spoke in a matter-of-fact, quiet tone of voice as she waited for him to move closer to her with the cubes in his hand. A frown wrinkled his brow before he slowly advanced on her with the treats. When he was within arm’s reach of her, she took the sugar from him and proceeded to give Remus the cube. An expression of satisfaction swept across Julian’s face as he dropped his hand to his side.

“Where’s Romulus?” he demanded.

“He’s facing you. Go to your left five feet or so then four steps forward.” At her directions, Julian nodded and used his cane to move forward. When he reached the dark red stallion, he ran his hand across the bridge of the animal’s nose before he dug into his pocket and fed the horse a sugar cube. A second later, Julian’s hands were on the horse’s mane as he slipped his cane into the rifle holster attached to the saddle. A moment later, he awkwardly jumped into the saddle.

The stallion pranced a bit, and Patience bit down on her lower lip. Perhaps this had not been the best of ideas. Actually, the challenge had been impulsive and rash. Traits she’d always seemed to excel at almost as much as Caleb. The thought of her brother brought tears to her eyes. Patience blinked them away to focus on the current problem. Romulus.

Her gaze met Lorne’s who arched his eyebrows with skepticism. The fact that the man didn’t hesitate to meet her gaze made Patience feel as if she were at home where what she looked like didn’t matter. She grimaced as she focused her attention on the matter at hand.

“Lorne, will Remus be able to keep up with Romulus?” Before the estate manager could speak, Julian glared sightlessly in her direction.

“Are you suggesting Romulus will grab the bit, my lady?”

“I simply asked if Remus can keep up with Romulus,” she responded quietly.

“Implying I will no’ be able to manage my horse.”

“I didn’t say that,” she said with exasperation and a hint of guilt.

“You did no’ have to,” he snapped angrily. “I know Romulus better than anyone. Now, do you intend to go riding or do I go alone.

At the suggestion he might actually leave her behind, Patience stared at him aghast. With a jerk of his head, Lorne silently indicated she should mount.

“I’m coming,” she said with irritation. “Stubborn Highlander.”

This last part she muttered under her breath, and Lorne looked at her in surprise before grinning at her broadly. Patience rolled her eyes at the estate manager and accepted his help mounting Remus. When she was properly seated, Patience turned her head toward Julian.

“Do you have a preference as to where we ride?” At the question, an indescribable look crossed Julian’s face. It was gone in a brief second as his expression became unreadable.

“The falls,” Julian said in a dispassionate voice. The air left Patience’s lungs as she stared at him in dismay. It was the last thing she expected him to say.
Eas Falloch
—The Hidden Falls. The last time she’d been to the falls had been with Julian. They’d made love in a small glade close enough to the falls that they could hear the water crashing over the rocks. Was his intention to remind her of that time and demonstrate he no longer cared for her?

“As you wish,” she said then looked down at the estate manager. “Lorne would you ask Mrs. Lester to have lunch ready a little earlier than usual. As I remember the falls are an hour’s ride from here. We should be back by eleven or so.”

“Yes, my lady.” Behind Patience, she heard the sound of running feet. With a skilled pull on her reins, she turned Remus around to see Muireall running out of the castle with a look of apprehension on her face.

“What are you doing Julian?” her sister-in-law cried in dismay. “Patience, you can no’ let him go riding, ‘tis too dangerous.”

“I’m more than capable of riding,” Julian snapped. “I simply need a pair of eyes to show me where to go and how to get home.”

“Romulus —

“I raised Romulus from the time he was a foal. I trust the horse. I do no’ have any reason to believe he will fail me as others have.”

There was an emotion layered beneath his words that made Patience believe he was referring to her lack of faith in him. Her entire family had told her more than once his reaction to her refusal to see him after the fire had been a crushing blow to him. Percy had been right. Julian was far from willing to receive her with open arms.

Patience could only hope her own betrayal of not believing he was innocent had not destroyed his love for her. She still had no idea how Una had known about Julian’s birthmark, but it didn’t matter. She’d forgiven him the night of the fire as she’d run toward him and flung herself through the air into his arms. She’d known then that if she were to die, she wanted it to be in his arms. And she
had
died that night in a manner of speaking.

The old Patience had vanished and in her place was a creature people shied away from. The thought of being the beneficiary of Julian’s pity had forced her to send him away from her. She’d used the only weapon at her disposal, and it had worked. Perhaps she’d done her job too well.

“It will be all right, Muireall,” she said reassuringly as she met the girl’s gaze. “I’ll see to it he stays out of trouble.”

Julian released a low sound of disgust and muttered something beneath his breath. Without any warning, he nudged Romulus forward into a trot. Muireall’s eyes widened and Patience shook her head at the girl as she turned Remus around to follow her husband. Not for the first time, she wondered if she’d made a mistake in suggesting he ride.

J
ulian heard his sister’s quiet cry of dismay as he rode away, but he ignored it. Although Patience didn’t say anything, he heard the clip clop of Remus’ hooves against the front drive’s gravel as she followed him. In his mind’s eye, he could see the landscape in front of him. Even if he wasn’t blind, he’d only need to close his eyes to know exactly where he was.

Now with his eyes open, all he could see were dark shapes mixed with gray ones against the cloudy white background. His senses were keenly attuned to everything around him, and the scent of lilacs brushed against his nostrils. It was an aroma as familiar to him as the air he breathed. It was her scent. The breeze against his cheek changed direction as Patience rode up beside him. He turned his head slightly to make out the shape of Remus’ head.

“She doesn’t mean to treat you like a child, Julian. She just worries about you.” The sympathy in Patience’s voice irritated him.

“I do no’ need or want anyone’s sympathy.”

“I wasn’t feeling sorry for you, you arrogant bastard. I was feeling sorry for Muireall,” she snapped disgust. “From what little she’s said, you’ve been acting like a bear someone keeps poking. And if your behavior since my arrival is any example, I would agree.”

“Your presence wasn’t requested by me,” he bit out fiercely, unhappy that he deserved her chastisement.

“No, Muireall did and I can see why. She’s trying desperately to help you, and you’ve repaid her by acting like a complete and utter ass.”

The sharp words shot a bolt of remorse streaking through him. She was right, and he didn’t like admitting it. Julian simply grunted and urged Romulus into a trot. For the briefest of moments, he thought himself mad for riding a horse when he couldn’t see. But Romulus’ stride was steady and the animal responded to the slightest pressure of his knee into the stallion’s side. Still, his lack of vision made it impossible to be sure of his direction. It left him feeling powerless—a feeling he didn’t like at all. The stallion moved forward at a faster pace, and Patience was alongside him in the next second.

“Shall I take the lead so Romulus can follow?” She asked in a voice devoid of emotion.

He didn’t like the idea of following anyone, but it was the sensible thing to do. Just because he might know the way in his mind, it was foolhardy to think he could get to the falls without getting lost.

Julian gave a sharp nod, and a second later the dark shape of Patience and Remus’ moved out in front of him. Even though he could feel the warmth of the sun, the breeze against his cheek had a sting to it. Winter was not quite ready to let go of Crianlarich yet. But the crisp smell of the wind aroused a sense of freedom he’d not experienced in a long time.

He might not have welcomed Patience’s presence in the castle, but he couldn’t deny that in the space of a day, she’d returned a small measure of his independence to him. He frowned at the thought just as Romulus’ leisurely stride became jerky as the horse cantered down a short, but steep, incline. Julian uttered a low oath.

As good as it felt to be back in the saddle, he’d just been given a silent warning as to how easily he could be thrown. Anger sped through him. He had no idea why God had chosen to punish him like this, but he wanted his vision back. He wanted to see where he was going. He wanted to read a book for himself not have Muireall read to him. Most of all he wanted to see his wife’s face. He wanted to look into her soft brown eyes that had always reminded him of a doe’s eyes.

A grimace tugged at his cheek. Why should he believe her reason for being here was anything more than duty? She’d said she came because she wanted too. It didn’t mean she was here because she loved him. Julian clenched his jaw. He’d told her that her presence was unnecessary. It was a lie.

One of several he’d told her, but this time it had been to keep from revealing how much he loved her. The idea of giving her power over him again wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Especially when her presence at Crianlarich filled him with more pleasure than he wanted to admit.

Romulus hit another uneven section of ground and Julian forced himself to concentrate on staying on his horse. In the past he’d given Romulus his head and the two of them had raced across the beautiful, stark moors. Today the animal seemed to sense something different about its rider, and the horse seemed quite content to slow down to a much slower pace.

“I’m glad you decided to slow to a walk,” Patience said as she drew alongside him. “Remus’ appears to be growing tired.”

“Do no’ patronize me, Patience.”

“I’m not. When was the last time someone exercised these animals?” There was a rebuke in her voice that set him on edge.