The Highlander's Woman (The Reckless Rockwoods #3) (19 page)

“I have no’ been capable of riding in some time.”

“And yet you’re riding now.”

Julian didn’t answer her. She was right, but he wasn’t about to agree with her. The only reason he was on horseback now was because she was his guide. Anger surged through him. He didn’t want to be obligated to her. It made him appear weak, and he refused to allow his handicap to define him. In the next breath, he acknowledged he’d been doing just that since the accident. Patience was treating him like the man he’d been before the accident simply by not allowing him to wallow in his self-pity.

“Thanks to you,” he grumbled. Silence met his expression of gratitude, and he wondered if she’d not heard him. “If you expect me to—”

“You took me by surprise,” she interrupted in a quiet voice. “I’m happy you’ve found me helpful.”

Silence drifted between them, and he allowed himself to breathe in the crisp Highland air. A sense of peace settled over him. Julian closed his eyes and allowed his senses to take in his surroundings. Heather grew nearby for he could smell it. In the distance, he heard the chirp of a bobolink. An image of the bird flew into his mind as he reminded himself that Patience’s hair was the same dark brown as the bobolink’s undercoat. They rode in silence for a long time, both lost in their thoughts. It was a comfortable silence, and he took pleasure in being outdoors with Patience near him no matter how she felt about him.

Ahead of them, Julian heard the sound of water crashing over rocks.
Eas Falloch
, what had possessed him to suggest the Hidden Falls? A devil perhaps? A means of pointing out that she meant nothing to him? It was a ludicrous notion. She meant the world to him, but he was no longer capable of being a husband. Even if she’d returned for some other reason than duty, he would always be a liability unless his sight returned. The sound of the falls grew louder, and the amount of water he could hear crashing over rocks made him realize the snow was melting in preparation for spring.

“There is a great deal of water coming off the falls,” Patience raised her voice slightly to be heard over the growing noise of the rushing water.

“The snow in the north is melting. Where are we?” His question was met by a brief note of silence.

“Just below the whirlpool.” The pause in her reply was no more than a heartbeat, but he heard it nonetheless. “The glade is beyond that.”

“We should water the horses.”

“Yes, of course.” There was a breathless note in her voice that puzzled him.

Was she disturbed that they’d returned to the falls? The moment hope slipped its way into his thoughts, he grimaced. He needed to remember she’d not returned to Crianlarich because she still loved him. No doubt the only thing troubling her about their visit to the falls was that it was an uncomfortable reminder of the past.

To his satisfaction, Julian dismounted in a much more elegant manner than he had mounting Romulus. One hand gliding over the stallion’s sleek coat, he ducked under Romulus’ head and stretched out his hand in search of Remus’ cheek piece.

“What are you doing?” Patience asked with a confused note in her voice.

“Helping you off this horse.”

“I don’t need…” Her voice trailed off as his hand found the soft wool of her riding habit.

Julian’s hand moved up over her leg, and Patience made a small noise as his hands caught her by the waist. With ease, he lifted her out of the saddle and enjoyed the way she slid down the front of him. The feel of her in his arms made him want to hold her close for as long as he could.

Aware of how dangerous it was to have her pressed against him, he quickly released her and turned back to Romulus. His fingers found the animal’s reins, and he urged the horse forward, allowing the animal to lead him to the edge of the fast moving stream. Patience joined him, and they stood in silence as the horses drank. When the animals had had their fill, Julian allowed Romulus to serve as his guide as they moved away from the narrow river.

“Do we stay for a while or do we go home?” Her use of the word home in her question startled him. She’d never referred to the castle as if it were her home as well as his.

“Since the horses haven’t been exercised in a while, we should let them rest some,” he said with a nod to her earlier observations. The horses hadn’t exerted themselves much on their way to the falls, but in truth he wasn’t ready to return to the castle. “As I recall, there are several large, flat rocks at the edge of the glade.”

“The glade then,” she murmured. The faintest hint of emotion vibrated in her voice, but it was impossible for him to decipher it.

With Patience and Remus leading the way, Julian kept one hand on Romulus’ mane as they headed toward the small glade a short distance away. In a matter of minutes they reached the small clearing. Julian pulled his cane from the rifle sling, intent on making his way to the rocks without her hand. Despite his resolve to find his own way, he was forced to let Patience verbally guide his steps. As he sat down on one of the rocks that bordered the edge of the river, Patience tethered the horses to a nearby tree.

She joined him a moment later, and sat down on the cold granite a little more than an arm’s length away from him. The water filled the air around them as they sat in silence. His eyes closed, he tilted his head slightly so the sun could warm his face. The air he breathed in was fresh and smelled of the cool mist that drifted off the falls.

Even though he couldn’t see the water streaming over the rocks into the pool below, he remembered how it had looked the last time he’d been here with Patience. He’d made love to her in the glade directly behind them. They’d almost been caught by a guest that had been staying with his neighbor Ewan MacLaren. He could still see the flush of color she’d had in her cheeks as she’d adjusted her silky brown hair the moment they heard the jingle of horse tack.

“Did you come here often as a child?” The quiet question brought him back into the present. He turned his head toward her, the familiar shadowy outline of her against the pale light filling his view.

“Aye. My mother loved the falls. My father would bring us here for picnics,” he said with a nod. “I think it might have been one of her most favorite places to be.”

“I can see why,” Patience said quietly. “It’s beautiful here. Peaceful.”

“My mother thought so too.” Julian didn’t know why, but it surprised him that she would use words he remembered his mother saying whenever they came to the falls.

“I imagine she worried about you going too close to the edge of the stream.” The amusement in her voice made him smile.

“Many times,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m surprised she didn’t tie me down. My father would always tell her to leave me be, that I had a good head on my shoulders.”

“You miss him,” she said without any emotion.

“Aye,” he nodded. “He possessed a great many faults, but deep down he had a good heart. Losing my mother changed him.”

The memory of Aiden sitting in the nursery made him flinch. He’d praised his father too soon. Patience would not find his father’s lies those of a good-hearted man. He needed to tell her about the boy, but he wasn’t sure whether she’d believe Aiden was his brother after all that had happened between them. His father’s lies only added to the problem. It would make it harder to convince her the child wasn’t his. He frowned at the thought.

“Are you feeling all right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be,” he bit out as guilt swept through him.

“Muireall said you’ve been having headaches, and you look as though you’re in pain.”

“It’s nothing. It will go away soon enough,” he lied as the tell-tale signs of a bad migraine began to flourish in the back of his head.

Silence drifted between them again, and Julian tried to relax in an attempt to stop his headache from worsening. It quickly became a battle he knew he was losing. Beside him, he heard Patience utter a small sound of annoyance.

“You might possibly be even more stubborn than my brothers.”

Exasperation filled her soft words as she scooted closer to him. Gently, her hands grasped his shoulders and forced him backward until the back of his head was in her lap. With a light touch, her fingers stroked his forehead in a circular pattern. It didn’t alleviate the pain, but it lessened it to the point he believed he could return home without looking like a man on the verge of collapse.

The familiar resentment at his predicament twisted its way through him. Suddenly eager to leave, his hand flew up to grab her wrist and end her soothing strokes against his temple. In a split-second, the feel of rough patches of scarred skin beneath his fingertips made him draw in a sharp breath. The memory of the fire flashed through his head.

His heart slammed into his chest like a freight train as he remembered the terror of watching her across the gap of flames between them that terrible night. If not for Percy, he would have plunged through the flames to reach her. Instead he’d been helpless to do anything except watch her struggle to live. Knowing he might have to watch her die had been the most unimaginable of horrors. He’d never felt so helpless in his life.

Now the feel of the scarred skin beneath the pads of his fingers reminded him once more of how she’d suffered that night. It made him want to gather her up into his arms and hold her close. With a sharp tug, she jerked free of his touch. Julian immediately sat upright and turned to face her. He had no way of knowing for certain, but he thought he was staring at her profile. The tension in her was almost a tangible sensation on his skin.

“You flinch where there is no need,
mo leannan
.” The endearment rolled off his lips so easily.

“Don’t,” she said in an icy voice. “I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m no’ offering you pity, Patience,” he denied fiercely. “I have never pitied you. How could anyone do so after what you did?”

“I did nothing.” The flat note in her voice did little to hide the pain behind her words.

“I do no’ call the lives of nine children and two women, nothing,” he said quietly as he reached out to touch Patience’s shoulder. She shrugged off his touch.

“I wish to return to the castle,” she said coldly. “I’ll fetch the horses.”

In a flurry of movement, she rose to her feet and hurried off leaving him alone. Julian fumbled around for his cane until he found it on the ground next to the rock. Slowly, he stood up and listened for the jangling sound of the horses. Two large shadows moved against the ghostly background of his vision. Swishing his cane back and forth in front of him, he moved toward the animals. He’d taken no more than three steps when his foot plunged into a shallow dip in the ground and he landed on his face.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed. His fall renewed the throbbing that Patience’s touch had almost eliminated. Julian struggled to his feet as Patience’s sweet perfume filled his nostrils. His heightened senses told him she was within arm’s reach, but she didn’t touch him.

“Are you hurt?” she asked quietly.

“No,” he snapped, angry he’d displayed how much he needed someone to help him navigate his way.

“Good,” she said with irritation that equaled his. “Perhaps it will teach you the pitfalls of not asking for help.”

“I do no’ need a lecture from you, Patience MacTavish.”

“Don’t you?” She sniffed with irritation.

“No,” he growled. Julian quickly reached out toward her dark curves against the pale gray background that was his vision. As he tugged her into his chest, her gasp of surprise brought a grim smile to his lips.

“Before you seek to reprimand me, Patience, look to your own unwillingness to leave the dead behind and rejoin the living.”

“We’re not talking about me,” she said hoarsely as she strained away from him.

“Perhaps talking is no’ what’s required, lass.”

A dark need surged through him as he curled his hand around the back of her neck and captured her mouth with his. With a demanding nip on her lower lip, he forced her to open her mouth to him. The moment her tongue danced with his, the pent up desire inside him exploded. Images flashed through his head of other moments when her passionate response had driven him to possess her completely. Moments when she’d been beneath him, and he’d worshipped her body with his. The memory and taste of her made his cock harden until it swelled tight in his breeches.

There was the warm, spicy taste of cloves on her tongue that hinted at the fiery passion he knew dwelled deep within her. The taste ignited a fierce hunger inside him that drummed its way through his limbs with the force of a charging bull. It drove him to deepen their kiss until she was clinging to him as she had done so many times in the past. Hot and passionate, she responded to him with a familiar abandon he remembered well. She’d always been an eager student in the art of pleasure.

When her hand slid down the front of his chest he drew in a sharp breath as her palm rubbed over his sensitive erection. The primitive sensation the touch aroused in him pushed him to the edge of insanity. God Almighty, he was ready to come right now. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? The question pushed its way through the desire holding him in its grip. He shuddered. How could she not know? He was hard as a hammer. Did she know his response was driven by an emotion he didn’t want to feel for her? Worse, was she responding to him simply out of guilt? The thought sickened him. Fingers biting hard into her shoulders, he heard Patience gasp from discomfort as he pushed her away from him.

“We’re going back to the castle.”

“Julian, I—”

“
Now
, Patience,” he growled.

Damnation, what had he been thinking to kiss her? First last night and then now? He should have ushered her right out the front door of Crianlarich Castle yesterday when she’d arrived. Julian tentatively dragged his foot through the grass surrounding him in search of his cane. The stick was offered to him in silence, and he roughly took it from her. In seconds, he heard her leading the horses to where he stood. Aware she would need assistance in mounting, he viciously stored his cane in the gun holder on his saddle. With the walking stick secured, he glided his hand along Romulus’ neck and made his way around the animal.