The Holiday Hoax (2 page)

A
S
I
entered the nearby Donut Shack, I spotted only a lone cashier and a guy at the back table. I peeled off my gloves and pulled my wallet from my pocket.

“A cranberry orange muffin and a coffee, please.”

With a sigh, as if doing actual work was putting her out, the cashier turned to fill my order. I saw the guy in the back staring at me.

He was wearing a thin T-shirt, despite the cold, with his shoulders and strong arms exposed. He had midnight black hair, a strong jaw, and a serious face.

I gave a small nod. I knew the guy, sort of, from the dorms. I’d seen him coming and going many times. But I’d never looked into his eyes before; they were dark, nearly black, and intense. I fought the hot jolt that shot through my whole body.

He was big and unsmiling—the word hulking entered my mind. His face was broad with a sharp nose and those deep-set eyes. I realized he was not at all handsome—not like Tyler with his easy, pretty looks. But there was something unnervingly attractive about him anyway.

I noticed the guy wasn’t eating or drinking anything, which was odd for somebody sitting in a doughnut shop. “Um…hello. We’re in the dorm together, aren’t we?”

I didn’t really expect an answer, and after waiting a beat, I started to turn back to the counter.

“You’re on the fifth floor, and I’m on the third,” the guy said, raising his voice to be heard. “And we have a class together. Astronomy.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“It’s a big lecture hall.”

“Right.” My teeth sank into my lower lip. If I’d heard him ever speak in class, I would have remembered for sure. His voice was rough and deep. I would kill for a similar one. I could have a major career in voice-overs and audiobooks alone with a tone like that.

“That’s three fifty.” The cashier plopped the muffin down. She handed me the coffee. “Milk and sugar are to your left.”

“Can you add another muffin, please?” I said.

The cashier huffed.

“And a second coffee.” I pretended her work attitude didn’t suck. “Add a few chocolate doughnuts too.”

When I’d paid her, I walked over to the guy’s table, offered him a coffee, and put down the food.

“Can I share some of this with you? No man should eat doughnuts alone,” I declared theatrically. “I’m Evan by the way.”

“JD.”

“JD? As in Salinger? Are your parents fans of his? God, I loved
Catcher in the Rye
. Who doesn’t, right? Sweet Jesus, I read that book, like, six times,” I gushed. “But they could never make a movie of it. Too internal. Too many monologues of Holden’s thoughts. You’re looking at me strangely. You’re not named after Salinger, are you? I jumped to conclusions, as usual?”

“’Fraid not. It’s a family name. Nothing literary or fancy. It stands for Jack Dustin. Dustin is my mom’s last name. Her maiden name, that is.”

“Oh. Sorry to get carried away about it. I’m an acting major. And literature is my minor.”

“You must like people, to be an actor.”

“Not really. I like an audience. That doesn’t mean I like people.” I shed my jacket and hat and put them on the other chair. “I like a select few maybe. Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you going home for the holidays tonight? I’m catching a late train.” I took a slurp of coffee. “Just killing some time.”

“I’m meeting my brother here.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll let you alone, then.” I rose to my feet.

“No, it’s fine. Stay until he comes.” JD held his coffee cup between his big hands and stared down at it. “The truth is I’m a bit nervous to talk with him. I could use some distraction.”

“Okay, then.” I sat. “So are you excited for Christmas and all?”

“Naw. Not really. Since my folks died a few years back, I’m not much for holidays. They all pretty much suck.”

“Sorry about your folks….”

“Thanks.” JD looked away.

Feeling uncomfortable, I searched for something, anything else to add. “I agree with you on the holidays. I loathe them too. So much expectation on the presents, and inevitably there is letdown.”

In fact, I loved the holidays. I
adored
them, and I couldn’t get enough of the lights and the holiday movies. I was doubly lucky to celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. On my dad’s side, there was the endless dinner, the rounds of dreidel, and the Adam Sandler song. On my mom’s side, there was the Christmas tree, her scrumptious cookies (my favorite was thumbprint cookies with strawberry jam filling), and Christmas carols. Put the two holidays together and that was why December was my favorite month, hands down. Usually. When I didn’t have an almost-boyfriend problem. I’d been too eager with Tyler; I always was. One day I’d be cool and collected and stop defining myself by the guys I couldn’t have.

“We close in twenty,” the cashier interrupted. She looked pointedly at the clock.

“Did you ever consider another line of work?” I asked.

JD’s lips quirked slightly.

“What?” I asked at his near smile. “Was I too blunt?”

“No, perfect,” JD said.

God, he was cute. When I first saw him, I felt a bit intimidated by his size, but the more he spoke, the more attractive I found him. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him. I knew I must have had a goofy look on my face.

For the time we had left, we talked as if we’d known each other forever. I couldn’t explain it, other than to say we connected. We chatted about my roommate and acting and then about our mutual astronomy class. JD wanted to be a geologist and study other planets’ terrains, which I thought was supercool. I got excited as JD discussed rock formations and supernovas. I knew jack shit about the topic, and usually anything unrelated to the arts bored me, but I enjoyed how animated JD was about it.

“Don’t you wish they could put planets on eBay?” I mused. “At least Pluto; it’s not even a planet anymore.”

“It still ranks up there with Uranus in my book.”

Don’t make a Uranus joke
, I cautioned myself. It was way too easy for one thing, and I prided myself on better material. For another thing, I had always found my sense of humor a slippery slope for getting my ass kicked. I waited a beat, but JD’s eyes twinkled at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Well, this is different from my normal conversations with other guys in the dorm,” I offered finally.

“Too dull? Next time I’ll talk sex or drugs.”

“No, perfect.”

JD smiled as I repeated his earlier words. He had a slightly crooked tooth that struck me as charming. Was he flirting? I swallowed hard, unsure what to do. Maybe he was only being friendly? Tyler claimed he could always tell, but I never could.

By the time I finished debating, the opportunity was lost. The trouble with flirting was you had, like, a nanosecond to make the right impression. All I could manage was to smile back, too shy to actually meet his eyes.

Then the Donut Shack door jingled, and a new customer walked in. Right away, I noticed his resemblance to JD, only he had a rounder face and smaller lips.

“I’m here.” He didn’t bother looking at me, an exasperated air to his words. “Why couldn’t this wait until you got home?”

“I’ll catch you later,” I said softly to JD, who was rigid in his chair.

I traipsed over to another table. I’d finish my coffee. I had to go catch my train soon, but I couldn’t help studying JD’s brother once more. JD appeared uncertain as he lifted his face to look at his brother who still stood over him. I couldn’t hear him, but JD looked as though he was speaking to his brother earnestly.

“No, stop it. Stop talking.”

JD’s face fell as his brother held up a hand. His voice became louder for a moment as he said, “It’s who I am.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not gay.”

“But, I
am
, Shawn—”

“No.”

I froze. My first thought was that JD might have been flirting before. My next thought was how grim his brother looked, as if he smelled shit. JD bowed his head as his brother began to yell.

“God! That’s why you wanted to talk? I can’t listen to this. Don’t say anything else. I got enough to deal with. The farm is in debt, and you ask me here to tell me
this
?”

His brother’s words were harsh, his movements abrupt. He waved his hands at JD and looked ready to strike him.

“You think I want to hear about your disgusting desires? And what about Heather? All those years with her meant what? If you dated girls back then, you can go and find a new one now and get over this… this… whatever the hell this is.”

“I can’t help it.”

In contrast to his brother, JD spoke gently, reasonably, though I could tell he was upset from the way he pressed his forehead to his hand, holding the weight of his head up.

“Yes, you can. Grow the fuck up, JD. You’re choosing to do this. Don’t talk to me about what you can and can’t help.”

JD was silent. He looked frozen and only stared hard at his brother. As I watched, I held my own breath.

Then, in that same quiet, firm voice, JD said, “I needed to talk to you. I can’t go home and pretend anymore.”

“Then don’t come home.”

I flinched. Those steely words cut like a knife to my ribs; I couldn’t conceive of how sliced up JD must feel.

JD’s brother gathered himself together, his back stiff, his expression distant, and left, not even acknowledging JD again. JD looked down at his coffee cup, his head still bent, as his brother charged away. His shoulders rose and fell in a shudder.

“We’re closing,” the cashier said, but her voice was kinder than earlier. “I need to lock up.”

I threw out my coffee cup and wiped the edge of my nose. Tears brimmed in my eyes; his brother’s awful words rang in my ears. I was always sensitive to other people being bullied. God, I’d had my share of bullies in middle school to last a lifetime. Sympathy slashed through me.

His brother was long gone. Still JD wasn’t moving. He may not have even heard the manager announce their closing.

“Hey.” I walked over to him. “We need to go.”

“Yeah, okay.” He examined his knuckles, curled his hand into a fist. “Sorry you had to see that.”

“I’ve seen worse.” I hoped JD believed that. My own family bickered and had bad days, but what JD’s brother had said—tossing him aside and telling him not to come home—had chilled me.

We walked out of the shop. The sky had grown dark, and the street corner quiet. JD’s face was somber. “I can’t believe I just came out to my brother, finally. And in a doughnut shop.”

“Oh, don’t worry about location. Lots of us come out in doughnut shops.”

“Is that right?’

“At least a dozen a day,” I quipped. “Be proud.” I hesitated, then touched JD’s arm. “Maybe he’ll change his mind? When he thinks things over. He might calm down.”

“Shawn? No, he won’t, not ever. And even if he did….” JD looked at me seriously. “I wouldn’t want to spend one more fucking holiday with him.”

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. The air was cold on my skin, and I wanted to ask where JD would go since the dorms were closing. He had to be somewhat panicked about it—I would be—but JD merely stood there, his chin raised defiantly up, his expression stony. I was both impressed and sorry for him.

“See you in January,” JD said.

“Yeah, see you.” I started to turn away. “Look—” I turned back. “This is kind of impulsive, and I realize we don’t know each other much, but I was wondering…. Would you like to come home with me for the holidays?”

“Why? I don’t need any charity. Just because I’m not going home with my asshole brother—”

“No, no.” I dismissed that. “You’d be doing me a favor.”

“Oh?” JD’s voice was tinged with suspicion.

I thought fast. “I’m in a jam. I told my parents I was bringing my boyfriend home. Only—” I started to confess that Tyler had never been my real boyfriend, when vanity stopped me. “Only we broke it off.”

“That Tyler guy?”

“You know Tyler?”

“A little.” JD met my eyes. “I heard some stuff about you and him.”

“Right.” I cleared my throat. “So you know I’m telling you the truth. It’s a favor you’d be doing me. Not the other way around.”

As I waited for JD to answer, I knew I was telling a half-truth. Sure, I’d like to save face and have a fake Tyler at my family dinner, but I could have gotten by without one. The truth was I couldn’t imagine being in JD’s place and having my family do that to me, and I couldn’t imagine being all alone through Christmas. No wonder JD had said he hated the holidays earlier.

“My folks never met Tyler, and if you came home with me and, you know, pretended to be him, it would save me a shitload of embarrassing questions, and it would give you a place to go while the campus is closed.” At JD’s odd expression, I rushed to add, my cheeks heating, “Not that you’d have to do anything like kiss me or whatever. I don’t expect you to do anything like that.”

JD grunted at that, and I wondered if he made the sound in agreement. “What about this Tyler fella? Is this for him? Is he going to show up and I’m supposed to make him jealous or something for you? ’Cause I don’t need that bullshit. I’m not a game player like that.”

“No, I promise, nothing like that. It’s only to keep my folks out of my business. Tyler… he… that is… he won’t show.”

JD pursed his lips. He looked down the dark street for a moment. The wind blew his inky black hair off his face. The street stretched out before us, one way heading back to campus, one heading to a twist of alleys and dead ends. I waited for JD to make up his mind.

JD folded his arms. “I’ll do it.”

T
HE
TRAIN
rattled along the tracks. It had been easy enough to get JD a ticket. I could have had my older sister pick me up, since I’d been saving money by having no car at college, but I didn’t mind the train. It was a short ride. Now, however, I was more concerned about my family. I hoped they wouldn’t act like a freak show in front of JD.

I tried to study him inconspicuously. Even if he hadn’t been the only other customer in the Donut Shack, I would have noticed JD.