The Holiday Hoax (9 page)

“It isn’t any big deal.”

“Stop it. Let me have it.” JD put them on. “They feel like butter.” He reached over and gave me his two presents. “One is shiny, one is wrapped,” he quipped with a playful smile.

A simple rubber band tied the shiny one, and when I held up the poster, I saw it was Van Gogh’s
Starry Night
. The stars did shine too, as clear as music, and my face reddened as I recalled the hot kisses I’d exchanged with JD under the real stars.

“I love this. My favorite of all Van Gogh’s art.”

“Yeah?” A pleased expression crossed JD’s face. “I wasn’t sure, but Courtney helped me.”

I craned my neck and looked at Courtney. “You helped?”

“I might have.”

I got up and smacked a kiss on her. “Thanks, Courtney.”

“Yuck! What’s wrong with you? Go kiss him.” She shoved me away, but she was grinning.

“Open the other gift,” JD said.

My heart jumped at his excitement. I hurried back to my spot and picked up the wrapped, square-shaped gift.

It turned out to be a CD of Christina Perri. Another perfect choice.

“Score.” I leaned into JD and gave him a hug. “Thank you.”

I held up the CD so my family could see it. “Get ready to hear this over and over,” I said as Courtney groaned. I whispered to JD, “But I didn’t get you what I wanted to. I’m sorry. I-I ran out of time. I got these because you needed some, but it’s so lame.”

“Evan, don’t be stupid.” JD stroked the nape of my neck. “You gave me everything.”

Dad served the eggnog, and I drank it until I went all warm inside, the rum and spices just right. Since it was still Hanukkah too, we made sure to light the menorah and say the prayers. After that, we all sat around the fireplace, listening to it crackle, but only Courtney and JD ate the marshmallows, since Noah had gone home. I watched JD tongue the sticky treat, his eyes sparkling, his face happy.

I wanted nothing more than for him to remain that way.

“Midnight Mass later?” Mom asked.

I looked at JD. “Do you want to go?”

“Sure. I was hoping to, actually.”

“I love the singing,” I said shyly. My sisters were getting sloshed on eggnog and my parents were busy talking, so I went in for a quick kiss. JD tasted of sugar and cream.

“Let’s go,” JD said.

“T
HE
CANDLES
are my favorite part,” JD said and smiled as each member of my church passed a candle received from the Christ Candle. The entire place seemed joyful, an energy of goodwill in the air. People had meandered from pew to pew, greeting each other earlier, and everybody had been friendly to JD and me. The organ began to swell with the notes of “Silent Night.” Mom and I sang loudly, like we always did, and she hugged me to her.

A baby cried in the background. Next to me, JD sang a little, his voice low and rich. He held a hymnal to his chest as he sang, and I wondered if he weren’t more religious than he’d first let on. After the ceremony, JD lit a candle for his parents.

We spent some more time chatting with my mom’s friends, the ladies patting my face as if I were a dog. Noisy kids ran around, shrieking for no reason. We took our coats off the hooks and made our way out of the church. Mom seemed to need to tell each person good-bye. But I wasn’t sorry I’d come. It was beautiful here.

In the pale moonlight, I saw that JD’s face had turned serious. “You okay?”

“Uh-huh. You?”

“Yes.” I gazed into his eyes. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

One year later

M
E
: W
HERE
are u?

JD: Here. Turn Around. You’ll see me.

Laughing, I turned and spotted JD right behind me, carrying his backpack and suitcase and striding confidently toward me.

“I thought we might miss the train!” I grinned. “It leaves in ten minutes.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”

He’d cut his hair recently, buzzed short, and I liked it. JD had a nice-shaped head, and the haircut made his cheekbones more pronounced, his eyes more visible. Oh, God, I had it bad, standing in the middle of the train station admiring my boyfriend’s skull. I hugged JD fiercely and then let him go.

The last few months had brought many changes for us. JD kept his scholarship and gotten jobs working part-time for a sympathetic professor on campus and part-time at a local hamburger joint called The Big O, which specialized in fat burgers and greasy fries, and he was managing to get through without his brother’s help. I was vaguely aware of other students and people milling around us, rushing to catch their trains home, but JD just consumed me. That was the right word for it. Despite having seen him only hours ago, I could never get enough.

I had left the dorm in plenty of time to meet JD, who had moved into a small apartment that February with two other guys: one roommate, Sam—whom I knew from drama club—was also gay, and that made it easier when I spent nights there, and his other roommate, Ben, was a mystery but seemed totally laid-back. My parents were way too embarrassingly old-fashioned to approve of my moving in with JD, not at this age, so I remained in the dorm with Zach. Luckily Zach had found a girlfriend from the physics club after New Year’s and spent a lot of time with her. She was a cute girl, smart too, but with an unfortunate name: Emma Wang. Seriously, that was her name. Still, Emma did improve on Zach’s hygiene, and I gave her major points for that.

My parents were naïve, though, if they didn’t get that I spent almost every night with JD. They didn’t push for details, I’d grant them that much, and they had come to my last play. I had wanted the lead, wanted it so, so badly for that reason alone, knowing my folks would attend. I recalled every detail surrounding that performance like it was yesterday.

“I think I’ll get it,” I told him. “My audition was good. Don’t you think I’ll get it? No, don’t answer that! Shit. Maybe I wasn’t good. Maybe I sucked? No, I was good. I know it. Wasn’t I?”

We were fixing up JD’s new apartment. I’d surprised him with a spiral green ottoman chair from Pier 1 and some cute posters for his room.

“You hate shopping.” JD’s eyes sparkled as I’d shown him the chair. He’d practically jumped into it.

“I know, but Dad told me about a sale when I went home. The worst part was Courtney wanted to come and she talked a mile a minute the entire trip. Isn’t the chair great?”

“It’s cool and comfortable.” JD wiggled all around. “My butt thanks you.”

“Really?” I raised my eyebrows. “Then my plan worked.” I stopped taping up the posters on JD’s wall. “I’m glad you like it. Besides, it momentarily took my mind off the audition.”

“You’ll get the part.”

“Hope so. It’s an underclassmen production, so I have a good shot.” I tapped my pocket, willing my phone to ring, then sighed. “I was good. No botched lines. I projected well. I showed emotion. Yeah, I think I’ll get it. This one will be mine. Can you imagine me in the lead? I was good, right? Wasn’t I?

“Ev.” JD rolled his eyes. “I can’t answer, since I didn’t see the audition. But I’m sure you were fucking fantastic.”

Not fantastic enough. Despite my high hopes and JD’s faith in me, in the end I only received a small role. The director, another graduate student but far nicer than Hamilton, pulled me aside and praised my audition, but told me that I simply hadn’t looked “right” for the lead part.

“This sucks,” I said to JD that night, disappointment heavy in my chest. “I’m only in two stupid scenes.”

“So? Make them the best two scenes ever,” JD soothed me. “You can do it.”

A reluctant smile curled my lips. “Can’t you let me wallow in self-pity for even a few minutes here? I didn’t get the part I wanted. And I was good. I was the best one there. Dammit. I really want to wallow.”

“Nope. No wallowing allowed.”

JD cupped the side of my face. As he kissed me, that was all it took. My bad mood dissipated, and happiness washed over me.

I practiced my lines constantly. I was going to make the best of this junky little part. Maybe make the shallow, misguided director regret not giving me the lead, and the next time he offered me a role, I’d smile and make the director beg me to take it. Yes, beg.

Unfortunately I’d practiced too much. A week before the opening night, I got laryngitis. “This can’t be happening!” I tried to say, but my voice wouldn’t work. I balled my hands into fists, and tears stung my eyes.

“It’s okay.” JD took my hand. “We’ll get you better in time.”

I had my doubts, but JD gave me thick soup and hot herbal teas from the nearest Whole Foods, and most of all, he watched me every time I’d opened my mouth, which was quite a lot, considering I had a hard time stopping myself.

“Don’t,” JD would say, and he’d gesture to the phone. “Text it.”

I fucking hate this!

“Too bad. Rest your voice. You’d hate having an understudy more. Or worse yet, they’d recast you.”

“JD—”

He clamped a hand to my lips. “Text it.”

I would mime my way through my classes and have to curb all the valuable insights I could have made by biting my tongue.

JD’s guard dog methods worked. I was better by the opening night and thrilled to see my family, even Dad, in the front row. I might only have had two scenes, but I acted my ass off.

JD came every night too, the crazy loon, always in the front row, whistling and cheering the loudest at my curtain call. It caused some of the girls in the play to giggle at us, but I didn’t really care. There was no denying it: we had it bad for each other.

T
HE
LAST
night after the play finished, I skipped the cast party and went with JD to his place, where we’d spent the night celebrating together.

It wasn’t planned exactly.

We’d taken our time about it, afraid to damage our friendship or rush into it all. Plus we fumbled around a bit. JD had gone to the drugstore with me weeks earlier, just in case, but we hadn’t done anything about it until then. We’d feared what might happen, since neither of us had much experience. But on that night, as we celebrated my play, JD had me bursting into laughter over something silly, and I wanted to be with him like never before. Our laughter had stopped at the same moment, and JD inhaled quickly, his eyes on mine.

We’d lost our inhibitions, gently caressing each other: kissing, licking, sucking.

Time seemed to stop as we kissed. I didn’t feel like a clumsy virgin with JD; I felt beautiful. As I ran my hand over his thigh and his flat stomach, JD arched up for more of my touch. That too was simply amazing. I made JD’s skin hot, his face flushed. I could give him pleasure.
Me.
It was intoxicating as hell. Breaking off the kiss, I slid my tongue across his neck and nibbled his ear.

“Oh, Ev,” JD moaned.

He dug his hands into my shoulders and gritted his teeth. JD was much bigger, but he seemed oddly fragile to me in that moment, as if I alone could protect him. My tongue played at his earlobe. JD stiffened and jerked his neck back. I could feel his body quake. It had never been like this with any other guy. I was lost in it all.

I cherished every loud groan JD made as I moved down his body, lower and lower, kissing every inch of his skin. My tongue traced the curve of his erection, and then I took him inside my mouth. Cupping his balls in my hand, I sucked on his hard length. With a rough groan, JD thrust fully into my mouth.

We found heaven then.

“My turn to take care of you.” JD touched the side of my face. “Please, Evan? I need you tonight.” He looked fierce and somehow vulnerable too.

“Okay.” I accepted his soft kiss, wondering if he could taste himself on my lips.

I turned to the bed and lay on my stomach while JD hovered protectively behind me. He started with feather-like touches: the crook of my neck, my lower back, my ass. His touch felt reverent. Gentle. He made certain I was with him every step of the way.

I was.

The time was there, and JD made it right and beautiful.

When we clung together, I cried out his name, and he cried out mine.

Afterward, I rested my head on JD’s chest, and he held me tightly. We were damp with perspiration, and I could feel his heart still pounding.

In a hoarse whisper, I said, “I love you.”

“Shh, don’t talk.” JD paused, stroking my hair. “I love you too.”

It was the first time we’d said the words out loud, but in my heart, I’d always known. I cuddled against JD, content not to move for a long time.

“H
OLD
ON
.”
I stopped walking toward our train and hooked my arm over JD’s shoulders. “I promised Ann I’d send her this.” Ann wasn’t going to be home for Christmas, since she’d finally met somebody special and was spending time with his family. I snapped a photo of the two of us and hit Send.

“You are always taking our picture. Ann or no Ann,” JD grumbled.

“Smile.” I took another. “And what’s wrong with that? I like to document things.” And maybe have evidence? That yes, after years of being alone, I could finally state that I had a boyfriend. A real one, not a hoax.

JD had become not only my true boyfriend, but also my best friend.

I might make a movie about it all one day—
Revenge of the Bullied
: get a hot boyfriend, pursue your dreams, live a good life. Yep, that about covered it.

“Let’s board.” JD took my hand and urged me forward. “I want a window seat.”

We lugged our belongings up onto the train and shuffled down the aisle toward two open seats. After lifting our luggage overhead, we sat down and got ready to go.