Authors: Stephen Karam
AIMEE
Nor ulcerative colitis . . .
MOMO
    Â
(Mumbled)
. . . can neverbody black werstrusâ
BRIGID
Nor dementia . . .
MOMO
âyou / sornum never back . . .
DEIRDRE | AIMEE |
Okay, now you're pushing it . . . | Brigid . . . |
BRIGID
    Â
(Smiling)
Whatâtoo soon? / Too soon?
AIMEE | DEIRDRE |
Yes, too soon . . . | Not funny . . . |
Brigid hugs Momo.
ERIK
Yeah, you
better
give her a hug . . .
BRIGID
We love you, Momes . . .
ERIK
To knowing this is what matters, right here . . . 'cause lemme tell you, coming down these streets, thinking about how far the Blakes've come . . . even seeing that candle store / was . . .
BRIGID
It's not a candle store, it's a boutique that sells, like,
one
candleâ
ERIK
. . . hey I'm just appreciating how, you see all these rich people walking around New York, God knows where their money
comes from, but . . . end of the day, everything that
anyone's
got . . . I don't care how many candles you have . . . one day it
goes
. . . whatever gifts God's given us, in the end, no matter who you are . . . everything you have
goes
.
Small beat.
DEIRDRE
Well that's the
positive
way of looking at things.
Erik smiles.
ERIK
SorryâI love my family . . . / that's the short version, I'm glad we're together.
AIMEE | BRIGID |
We love you too . . . | Love you guys . . . |
DEIRDRE | RICHARD |
Here here, amen . . . | Cheers . . . |
ERIK
And a special thanks to Richard for making this meal possible, since we know what a lousy cook Brigid is . . .
BRIGID | AIMEE |
This is true . . . | Amen. |
They all ad-lib “cheers” and toast.
RICHARD
Okay, five minutes and everything will be out and ready to go . . .
    Â
(Setting out more food)
Here's some more munchies, here . . .
DEIRDRE
Yum . . . thank you . . .
They all settle in. Erik looks after Momo.
AIMEE
So how are you, Mom?
DEIRDRE
I'm good, I'm good . . . I wasâdid you get the text I sent aboutâBridge, this girl who played basketball for Dunmore, she was bullied for being gay . . . her mom found her dead in her room on Tuesday . . .
BRIGID | AIMEE |
Whoa . . . | Oh man . . . |
DEIRDRE
. . . yeah, suicide with some kinda pills . . . it's all over the news . . . I texted you, / I wasn't sure if you got it?
AIMEE
This week was crazy . . . no, yeah I got it, I'm just behind with my messages . . .
Deirdre picks at the crudités platter.
BRIGID
You don't have to text her every time a lesbian kills herself.
DEIRDRE | AIMEE |
I don't. | She doesn't do thatâI appreciate what / you're meaning . . . |
DEIRDRE
I get enough annoying forwards myself, soâI don't wanna clog up your guys's inboxâ
AIMEE
You're not, Mom. You're good though?
DEIRDRE
I am, yeah . . . my bosses areâI'm an office manager, Rich, I've been with the same company since right outta high school . . .
ERIK
Whole place would fall apart without herâ
DEIRDRE
. . . yeah, well my
salary
doesn't reflect that, and these new kids they hired, I'm working for two more guys in their twenties, and just 'cause they have a special degree they're making five times what I make, over forty years / I've been there, Rich . . .
RICHARD | BRIGID |
Wow, forty years . . . ? | Well . . . hey . . . focus on the lake house, you'll be able to unwind soon . . . you gotta take care of yourself. |
ERIK | AIMEE |
They're lucky to have you . . . | Are you breaking ground this summer? |
DEIRDRE
No . . .
RICHARD
I think it's smart to wait for the sewers to be put in, the value of your property will skyrocket.
BRIGID | AIMEE |
Thanks, Professor. | When are they gonna be installed? |
DEIRDRE
[I don't know . . . ] Erik . . . ?
ERIK
That's up to the Department of Public Works, when the sewers get put in.
Small beat.
AIMEE
And how's Aunt Mary?
DEIRDRE
She's hanging in there, God love her . . . they got this contraption now to help load her into the pool butâRich, this is their aunt who had both knees replaced, / I drive her to her physical therapy . . .
ERIK
    Â
(Indicating the crudités platter)
Pass the . . .
DEIRDRE
. . . and did I e-mail you thatâKay Hoban has ovarian cancer . . .
AIMEE | BRIGID |
Oh man, how's she doing? | She does? Yikes . . . |
DEIRDRE
Yeah, I've been taking her to her treatments 'cause her and her brother, they don't speak anymore, so . . . that's a whole mess, but . . . she's being tough, so . . .
    Â
(Takes a bite of food)
. . . what else . . . oh, Tuesdays I'm nowâ
BRIGID
Mom, you're talking with your mouth full.
Beat.
DEIRDRE
. . . I, uh, started volunteering forâFather Quinn told me about, and don't roll your eyes, Erik . . .
ERIK
I'm not saying a word.
DEIRDRE
. . . right in Scranton there's a whole community of refugees from Bhutan . . .
Aimee stifles laughter.
DEIRDRE
What? / It's not funny . . .
BRIGID
Let me guess, Saint Deirdre is coming to their rescue?â
ERIK
    Â
(Smiling)
You have / no idea . . .
DEIRDRE
Be quietâ
you
have no ideaâthese people have
nothing
. . . they're all just looking to learn English, to find workâwe
think
we've got nothing, but man . . .
RICHARD
That's great you're volunteering . . .
DEIRDRE
Thanks, Rich.
BRIGID
And how are
you,
Mom. Aimee didn't ask how the Republic of Bhutan was doingâ
ERIK | DEIRDRE |
Hey, hey . . . | I'm |
BRIGID | AIMEE |
Mom, I was just teasing . . . | Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â |
 | Hey guysâno one be alarmed if I'm up and down these stairs a million times to use the . . . facilities . . . so . . . |
 | DEIRDRE |
Godspeed . . . | You want me to go with you? |
Aimee shakes her head no as she goes up the stairs.
Brigid opens her gift, it's a small shiny pink pig.
BRIGID
. . . ah, it's a peppermint pig! Rich, check it out . . .
AIMEE | DEIRDRE |
Amazing . . . | Hey, holler if we can do anything, okay? |
AIMEE
    Â
(Going up the stairs)
I will, don't smash that pig without me . . .
ERIK | DEIRDRE |
We won't . . . | Poor baby . . . |
BRIGID
And what is this other . . .
    Â
(Opening the other wrapped object)
. . . ah, a Virgin Mary statueâ
BRIGID | DEIRDRE |
âcomplete with a serpent under her foot . . . | Okay, before you tease me, I know you guys don't believe, but she's appearing everywhere now not just in Fatima but in West Virginia andâjust keep it for my sake, in the kitchen or even if you just put it in a drawer somewhere, okay? |
BRIGID
Mom, I will absolutely keep this in a drawer somewhere, / thank you.
DEIRDRE
Yeah, well . . . I feel better knowing you have it.
Small beat.
RICHARD
I thought maybe Brigid was making the pig-smash up, butâ
ERIK
Oh no, it's real . . .
RICHARD | BRIGID |
Can't wait to see how it works . . . | It's not Thanksgiving without it . . . |
 |      |
 | . . . thank you. |
DEIRDRE
You're welcome.
MOMO
    Â
(Quietly, tapering to silence)
. . . why'm I hereson. Go warson herror truh. / Do the glassor comes blag . . . sezzor black . . . why'm I hereson. Go warson herror truh. Do the glassor comes blag . . . sezzor black . . . . . . why'm I hereson. Go warson herror truh. Do the glassor comes blag . . . sezzor black . . .
DEIRDRE
    Â
(Massaging her hand)
You wanna go for a ride, Mom? Let's go for a ride . . .
UPSTAIRS
:
Aimee nurses a cramp before she proceeds to the bathroom.
DOWNSTAIRS
:
Deirdre wheels Momo around the apartment.
ERIK
    Â
(To Brigid and Richard, referring to Momo)
She had a good day yesterday, you know? It's hard to predict now how she's gonna be . . . this is definitely her last big trip . . .
BRIGID
How are
you
doing? Is that why you aren't sleeping?â
ERIK | RICHARD |
I'll sleep tonightâ | Oh yeah, sorry Erik, we got sidetracked beforeâyou were talking about your dream? |
DEIRDRE
Oh, so you'll tell
him
details / about your dreamâbut you won't tell me?
RICHARD | ERIK |
He didn't tell me details . . . | Noâguys, I don't even remember it, there's nothing to tell . . . |
BRIGID | DEIRDRE |
Well, now I don't believe you . . . | I saw the way you woke up, don't tell me you can't remember somethingâ |
RICHARD | ERIK |
     |      |
Hey, no I forget mine if | [Man, you're a piece of work.] |
I don't write them down in the morning . . . | Â |
ERIK
See? . . . there you go . . .
DEIRDRE
Well whatever it was, couldn't a been scarier than theâ
    Â
(Laughing)
âI made him watch thisâwhat was it called, Erik? . . . / the movie . . . ?