The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves (2 page)

Because the fact is, if you’re a married dude and you’re reading this, you’re at least slightly dissatisfied with the state of your sex life, and realize that yeah, you could stand more nookie in your diet – why the hell not? 

Or you’re a married dude who is encountering problems, maybe structural or temporary,
or
maybe your wife is, but either way
she’s just not that into you these days
and you’re a little worried. 

Or you’re a married dude who’s
languishing
in the technical definition of a “sexless marriage”
(that is, sexual intercourse less than once a month) and living on “IV Sex” (just enough to keep the relationship alive) and want to shake things up.

Regardless, know that I did everything on this list (except be the President – don’t want that job, thanks) and I’m not a billionaire.  Or a millionaire.  I’m just a writer who suckered you into buying this book . . . who gets
crazy
amounts of sex from my wife, now, and our relationship is stronger than ever.  Oh, and I have kids.  And a crazy schedule.  And other writing gigs. 

So don’t even
try
to make the excuse that you’re “too busy” to invest in your relationship.  If I can do it, you can.  Besides,
how many truly crappy “relationship and marriage” books have you read in the course of your life?
  How many
Cosmo
quizzes?  How many inane feminine contrivances you only endured under the mistaken impression it was
foreplay?
 

Yeah, thought so. 

Unlike all of those crappy relationship books, I’m here,
first and foremost
,
to help get you laid.
It’s kind of like my mission as a Sex Nerd. 
So I’m not as concerned with how you’re
communicatin
g or whether or not you’re
bonding at an emotional level
and
ensuring an equally respected growth potential
, or some bullshit like that,
I’m here to get your penis entertained in the nicest way possible. 

And if
even
one
of my suggestions works just
once
. . . I’d like to think you got fair value for your money.  I mean, you got laid and it cost you less than five bucks. 
A pack of smokes costs more. 
How cool is that?

Most of this book, to be honest, was culled from my blog.  But there are
plenty
of new tidbits, and you probably didn’t catch all of my old ones so they’ll be new to you.  I’ll try to give you your money’s worth, regardless. 

But if this is your first experience with the mysterious Red Pill, hang on.  You’re in for an enlightening experience.

For everyone
else who already knows
me, thank you for supporting me by buying this book.
If you see me, mention it to me and
I’ll buy you a drink next time we’re at the bar, so you’ll come out ahead . . .
eventually
. 

Besides, if you already weren’t feeling enriched by my wisdom and knowledge, would you have shelled out the lousy few dollars you just contributed to my family?  I thought not. 

Besides, you probably forgot half this stuff after you read it the first time.  Pay attention this time.  You
know
how you get.

Ian Ironwood

January, 2013

Dude . . . Got a minute?

Dude.

Can I call you dude?  Do we have a 'dude relationship'?  You know, that kind of dude-at-the-next-urinal relationship where I can tell you something, one dude to another, without the bullshit?   Will you trust me -- just for the next couple of paragraphs -- to give you the straight shit?  I don't know you, you don't know me, we're just a couple of dudes, both doing our thing, and I have no vested interest in your relationship.

I'm just a dude.  Like you.  So, if you have a few minutes, let me lay some cosmic wisdom on you. 

If you are reading this, it is because your wife, girlfriend, best friend, brother-in-law, sister, or someone else close to you, who both cares for you and who has a good working knowledge of your relationship (and who may have used a dummy e-mail address), thinks that it would benefit you to read this particular
book
on this particular
subject
.

Why?  It could be any number of reasons, but let's assume that a good friend who doesn't want to be
gauche
enough to say it to your face thinks
you and your relationship would benefit from the following piece of advice:

You're doing it wrong.

That is, the relationship/marriage you are in, which at casual inspection seems "perfectly fine", is suffering, and someone you know can see that.  That may come as a shock to you, or it may not.  Why is it suffering?  More than likely,
the root of the problem is the fact that you aren't being All That You Can Be in the whole manhood department.

Whoa!  Don't freak out -- this is (probably)
not
a prelude to divorce or a relationship ultimatum.  This is a gentle reminder, a casual hint, a wink-wink-nudge-nudge
dude, you need to pay attention to this!
sort of thing. 

The relationship that you think is so stable and mutually beneficial and strong?  Someone thinks that it could be better.
  Someone thinks that you would benefit from learning something important about your relationship that, perhaps, you just weren't aware of.

You're doing it wrong -- but it's
really not your fault
.  I mean, how could it be?  People have been telling you how you're
supposed
to be doing it for years -- but they were
wrong,
and so now
you're
doing it wrong.

You see, when you got into your relationship with your current woman, she was
HOT
for you.  I mean, when she thought about you, her stomach flip-flopped, her eyes got all dreamy, her ladyparts got all dewy, and there was nothing
–
nothing
–
that she thought about more than
you.

But . . . well, it's been awhile, and while you're still a
perfectly
good dude
–
don't get me wrong, in places you probably border on greatness
–
there's this one area where you're just
not
quite getting the job done.

It's actually not one certain thing --
it's a bunch of related things.  Bu
t they all come down to you needing to step-up, "man up", grow a pair, and
quit acting like such a pussy when it comes to your woman.

Seriously
–
it pains me to say it, but that's the fact, Jack.  You wouldn't be reading this otherwise. 

When your woman
does
something,
wants
something,
says
something . . . you fold like a cheap card table and do your damnedest to make it happen, no matter how difficult or unreasonable.  You're
whipped
.  Maybe not even in an obvious way, but its there.  Everyone knows who's in charge of your household, your relationship.  Even your woman -- and
it's killing her.

No, really. 
Every time she gives you an unreasonable ultimatum and
you don't call her on it,
her love for you dies a little
.  Every time you kiss her ass so that she'll like you, despite what she says, the opposite is true.  Believe it or not, she likes it when you show some backbone. 

In fact, that
probably
makes her panties wet -- and when was THAT ever a bad thing?

The truth is, YOU used to make her panties wet, just by being you.  And that was great
–
really.  The infatuation, the courtship, the maelstrom of feelings that compelled you to go after this particular girl, she felt it too.  It wasn't fake.  It wasn't your imagination.  You had a
real connection
, some chemistry.  You were a manly man, and she found great value in that.

Only now . . .
not so much.
 

Oh, sure, she still
likes
you.  She even
loves
you.  But is she breathlessly checking her phone every five minutes to see if you've texted?  Is she still making mistakes at work because she's thinking about you?  Of course not.  You're past that point now, aren't you?  You're in the comfortable part of the relationship, when you can both just "be", without pretense or illusion or obfuscation.  She can "get to know the real you" and appreciate and love you just for being you.  And she
is
.  Only . . .

. . . well, you know that infatuation stage?  It's amazing, isn't it?  You've probably been coasting along on the strength of that for years -- if you're married, certainly since your wedding day, haven't you?  And that's cool -- you aren't a kid anymore.

But
now you have to keep in mind that the woman who made you giddy with desire the moment someone mentioned her name is also remembering those times fondly, and she's wondering
where the fuck they went?
  

I mean, things have been fine, sure . . . but things have been "fine".  Maybe even a little friction, a fight, a "discussion", something . . . but the fact is, "fine" isn't what she signed up for.  She signed up for "amazing", and she's dealing with "fine", but the first time she see's "amazing", you have to wonder . . . is she going to be happy enough with "fine" to not even consider pursuing "amazing"?  How about the second time?  The third?

Dude, not trying to scare you here, just trying to give you a clue.  Your woman, whether she knows it or not, whether she's the one who sent you here or not,
your woman wants you to step up and take charge
.  She wants you to
lead
her.  She wants to be
in awe of your masculinity
.  She wants to gush to her girlfriends
–
not about the manly way you take out the trash or pick up her dry-cleaning, but
how you dazzle her on a daily basis with your wit and charm
.