The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves (27 page)

So how do you take advantage of this golden opportunity for marital nookie? 

First,
accept the fact that it might not happen
. 

Weddings are notoriously volatile affairs, and with that much estrogen compressed into that much satin, things can go from sublime to psychotic in a flat second.  So you have to stay on your toes, stay situationally aware, and stay alert for opportunities.  It only takes one bitchy comment from her sister to get her out of the mood for the rest of the evening.
  If it’s clear she’s upset then proposing a quick hummer in the cloakroom is unlikely to improve her spirits.  (You could always talk to her bitchy sister, though . . .)

Secondly, if she drinks,
get her drunk.

That might not sound like a winning proposition, and if your wife has substance abuse issues by all means skip this one.  But alcohol has been revered as a panty-dropper since ancient times, and weddings are an acceptable place for even the most staid icon of womanhood to have a couple of glasses of wine.  If she drinks, keep her glass full for the first half of the reception, and then taper her off to a nice buzz.  The inhibition-lowering properties of alcohol combined with the magic of the movement will work in your favor.

Thirdly, make her dance.
  Many women have a hard time dancing even at weddings, thanks to low self-esteem and being caught up in the Matrix.  Pulling her suddenly out on to the dance floor might embarrass her, it might make her blush, it might even make her a little mad if she’s unwilling . . . but do it anyway.  It’s worth the risk of pissing her off to show her your body in action, in formal wear, in plain sight of every drunk man-hungry single woman in the joint. 

Seriously
, hit that preselection button hard!
  That’s what it’s there for.  If you are attracting attention from other women, your own wife will be more attracted to you – that’s Game 101.  And there is no better way to do that – and simultaneously engage her directly, pay her attention, and flaunt your relationship in public – than dancing badly at a wedding.

If it’s ballroom dancing, then do your best to look like Fred Astaire – but don’t try anything too complex unless you’ve had some classes.  The important thing is to keep your arms and shoulders in place, and to lead her firmly around the floor.

If it’s more modern music, then boogie your guts out.  Forget your own inhibitions and let the music draw out that primal sexual beast.  Dance without the slightest worry that someone is criticizing.  You are here to attract attention and demonstrate to everyone what a great catch your wife made.  Dancing in public can either confirm or deny that.

But even if everyone else thinks you’re an idiot, your wife danced with you.  That’s half way to sex.  If you can follow the old-fashioned Single Game rules of isolation and escalation, peeling her off “for some fresh air” after the exciting dance is the perfect opportunity to make your pitch.

Make if forcefully, but subtly.  Do it after a thorough kissing.  (Use tongue).  Whisper the suggestion in her ear, and have at least
three good alternative places
where you can get enough privacy in mind if she is ready to go.  Nothing sucks more than having a wife burning to fuck you silly in a formal dress and having nowhere to go.

We’ve done it in bathrooms, closets, cars, vans, kitchens, in the woods once, you name it.  We’ve never gotten caught, but even if we did, it’s okay . . . we’re married.  You can always claim you got carried away in the heat of the moment and make a quiet – but fast! – escape.  As long as it isn’t a kid who busts you, you’re probably all right.

But just making the suggestion forcefully will pay dividends later, even if it doesn’t happen at the reception.  Let her squawk about how “improper” it is if you must, but ignore her protests.  Hell, it isn’t your wedding.  If you try to screw her there, that will at the very least increase your desirability in her eyes.  Do it unapologetically, boldly, and confidently.  You have to Alpha your way into her panties at a wedding.

Of course, that’s assuming that she’s wearing any.  One of the hottest things Mrs. I ever did was excuse herself to the ladies’ room before the ceremony at a wedding, then slide into the pew next to me as the music began, and slipped something into my coat pocket.

“My panties,” she whispered, naughtily.  “Y’know, just in case.”

See why I love her?

Afterward

I hope you were entertained, and I hope you were informed by this little book.  As I said, if it gives you even one good idea that leads to a memorable tumble, that’s got to be worth the price.  And if you’re interested in more helpful hints like this, feel free to come by my websites and learn a thing or too. 

Ian Ironwood

Thanks for reading!  You can write the author at:

[email protected]

And stop by the blogs,
The Sex Nerd
and
The Red Pill Room
, for more brilliant relationship advice and tips on improving your Married Game from Ian Ironwood.

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The Manosphere: A
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For Masculinity
(forthcoming)