The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves (26 page)

When I asked Mrs. Ironwood to advise me on some of my best Alpha moves that I hadn’t written about yet, she thoughtfully suggested this:

“Sometimes the things that get me hottest are the things you do for me . . . but then you ignore me while you’re doing them.”

That was a little confusing at first, but she explained.  It’s the “Make Your Mission Your Priority, Not Your Woman,” commandment from
Roissy’s 16 Commandments of Poon
, which is often a difficult for a rising Beta to understand.

Essentially,
women dig it when they can see you utterly focused on something . . . as long as it isn’t them.
  For example, I have
a difficult
time writing when Mrs. I is around because after she sees me typing away for ten or fifteen minutes, she almost reflexively finds something for me to do for her.  It’s a minor and involuntary shit-test, and one I’ve been fighting to avoid for decades.

After all, she does have reasonable requests . . . but when I’m writing, I’m working.  After experiencing this phenomenon for years, I finally just stopped doing any serious composing with her in the house.  She could not help but make herself a distraction . . . because she got attracted to me when she saw me focused on the
Mission
.

Focusing on your
Mission
, whatever it might be, is
innately
manly.  Men DO things, men get things DONE.  If there was ever a historical case of a bunch of women deciding to build a boat, risk their lives sailing across a dangerous ocean, and stealing stuff from people, they are a statistical aberration.  Men DO stuff. 

If you try to do stuff but are willing to stop it at any moment depending on your woman’s whims, well, stuff never gets done.  Your wife’s list is always more important, it seems, than your own.  And even though you’ve knocked yourself out doing what she wanted when she distracted you, the payoff is almost never as impressive or as heartfelt than if you had just completed your
Mission
.

Mrs. I says that it’s even better when I do stuff for her . . . but then ignore her while I’m doing it.  It combines the attention she craves with the aloofness and focus she finds attractive.  That doesn’t stop her from trying to de-rail me, but she understands enough to know, now, that sometimes she just needs to back off and bite her lip while I do something shirtless, instead of distracting me.

So how do you accomplish this without coming across like a complete dick?

First,
you quit worrying about whether you’re coming across like a complete dick.

Seriously, when you are focused on the mission, then everything else is secondary.  What people think about you is secondary.  Your wife’s feelings are secondary.  Your own feelings are secondary.  It’s an element of the masculine trait of discipline that you stay focused on the objective to the exclusion of all else.

Of course there are exceptions – you want to be reasonable.  But when you’re in the middle of changing an alternator on the car, that’s not the time to go running to your wife when she calls.  It’s time to change the damn alternator, because you aren’t going to work tomorrow until it’s done.  If she objects, shut her down and tell her not to disturb you unless the house is on fire and it has reached where you are working.

That’s going to hurt her feelings.  That’s fine. 
Hurt feelings are
interested
feelings,
and even if she pouts it will be hard for her to deny that what you were doing was important – after the fact. 

Rising Betas and dudes new to the Red Pill might think of this as a betrayal of your relationship with your wife, a sign of your lack of respect for her and her needs.  What you don’t understand is that
her desire to side-track your efforts toward her own ends and to settle her own priorities is, in fact, an act of disrespect toward
you.
 
If a man is in the middle of something, you don’t bother him until he’s done without a compelling reason or a blowjob.
  If your wife doesn’t understand that, she
need
s to.

If you want to double-down on the hotness of the act, then focus on doing something that’s definitely for her benefit . . . but ignore her while you do it.  That one drives Mrs. I crazy!  If I’m intent on a task that she can’t do or doesn’t have time for,
she loves it
.  But that sneaky desire to side-track and re-devote my attention to
her
frequently rises, even if what I’m doing is
for her
. 

There is a difference, note, between doing something for her (say, changing her oil) and crowing about your manly studatude the entire time.  When you call attention to your
Mission
you’re grandstanding, not performing.  When you just do it, without even glancing at her, she feels both pampered by your Beta comfort-building skills and yet feels your Alpha dedication to task making her panties wet.  Win, win.

But you’re going to get challenged, while you’re focused.  It’s like they’re compelled.  So keep a few of these phrases handy to toss at your wife when she suggests you should take a break and come fold laundry with her for a while and come back to this later.

“This
is
‘later’.”

“I’ll talk to you when I’m done.”

“I’m focused on X right now.  You’re on the list.”

“This gets done now.”

“I’m busy.  If it’s that important, it will still be important when I’m done.”

“Sweetie, I love you, but if you want to see this get done, you need to be elsewhere for a while.”

“That’s
just
not a priority for me right now.”

You get the idea.  You don’t have to explode, use profanity, whine, bitch, moan or complain.  You just refuse to be shifted from the task at hand until you are satisfied with its completion.  She’ll fuss, at first, but if you don’t argue with her about it – just state your intended actions and keep on with business – she’ll back off and let you work.

Of course, there are some women who cannot abide a man doing a job without adding their own completely rational and obviously sound advice.  As much as you might value her opinion on whether you should put 10W30 or 10W50 in the car,
in point of fact you probably can accomplish this task without counsel or assistance.  Get her out of the way, do the damn job, and when you’re done let her be mad at you.  But odds are she won’t be.

Why?  Because this is one of the more-common shit tests thrown at a husband.  A wife with a long list of “Honeydew” chores comes standard in most marriages.  As a husband, you’re pretty much honor-bound to ensure her comfort and safety, and beyond that her general well-being.  But what she considers a priority may be a huge departure from that comfort/safety/well-being responsibility you took on when you put that magic ring on her finger. 

Does doing her list get you laid?  Probably not.  If you are working on her list exclusively, you aren’t a husband.  You’re a servant. 

But doing your OWN list, even if you’ve included some of her “suggestions”, is hot.  Dudes focused on Getting Stuff Done are hot.  Dudes focused on Getting Stuff Done
to the exclusion of anything short of a nude proposition
are superhot to most women.  Because the moment you turn your attention to her, and away from the
Mission
, she may have “won” . . .
but her desire for you will have dimmed somewhat at the victory.

So keep your eyes on the
Mission
, even if it seems impossible.  Because
her
list will still be there when you’re done.  So will her vagina.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I DID RECEIVE
FULL
PERMISSION FROM
MRS
. IRONWOOD TO PUBLISH THIS

As some of you might know, I’m not a Christian, I’m a Pagan.  Not just a “non-believer”, I am an adherent to the Neo-Pagan religions,
particularly the polytheistic traditions of Wicca and Druidism.  Yep, “conservative” Ian Ironwood is a tree-hugging, Nature-worshipping
idolater
. 

Kind of makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Anyway, this isn’t a phase, despite what my Mother says.  I’ve been a practicing Pagan for over 25 years, and she still thinks it’s a phase.  Hamster, anyone?

But one of the elements of my religion is the fact that it’s a religion of the clergy, not the laity.  When you study Wicca or Druidism or Asatru or any other Pagan tradition, you are essentially learning how to be a priest or priestess of that religion.  The upshot is, I’m an ordained minister who is sometimes called upon to perform a wedding ceremony.

I’ve done thirteen now, in the course of my life.  I even have a clerical collar for the purpose.  So when one of our friends wants to get married and doesn’t have a pastor in their pocket, I get the call.  The Ironwoods go to a fair number of weddings.

That’s actually a good thing, libido-wise.  I’ve written elsewhere about how rewarding picking up women at weddings can be for single dudes, but I haven’t mentioned the effect that the blessed event has on married women.  Particularly married women in good marriages.

You see, every wife has especially strong associations with weddings because of her own.  Whether it was an elaborate affair or an elopement, to wives weddings are a kind of spiritual re-enactment of their own primal vow.  They have a far, far different perspective on the Big Party from single women, even single women the same age.  Everyone understands Weddings.  Only
wives
understand being married.

There is an undeniable erotic current at weddings that is easy for a single dude to exploit, but there’s no reason why a married man can’t tap that rich vein of enthusiastic poon his own wife offers . . . even before you leave the premises.

It helps that you are probably looking sharp in your suit and clean-shaven face.  You smell good.  You probably remind her of how you looked at your own wedding.  She’s likewise feeling pretty, and the pageantry and the gossip (weddings are Ground Zero for the Female Social Matrix) have amped up her own excitement levels pretty high.  If she can avoid any unpleasant family drama,
add a couple of glasses of champagne and
your chances of getting under her skirt are actually pretty good, if you proceed properly.

It’s become our kinky little secret, to sneak off and at least make-out for a while during the cake-cutting, for example.  Mrs. Ironwood and I have “blessed” about five weddings this way, including two where I officiated.  It actually wasn’t that hard to convince her . . . and in a few cases she had to convince me.

Face it,
weddings make women horny
.  They’re either single and horny or married and horny, but even the old and embittered feel a tingle when that organ music starts.  Weddings are about promise and hope and honeymoon sex.  Everyone in the room knows that the bride and groom are about to be going at it like bunnies, and that has an effect.  I think if you were to see how many folks actually knocked boots within 24 hours after a wedding reception, you’d be impressed.