The Island Of Bears: A BBW Paranormal Romance (12 page)

CHAPTER 11

Aghast at what I was seeing, I dropped my binoculars, and they hit the living room floor with a thunk.

Cora, who’d been sitting on my couch, got up and joined me at the window. “That bad, huh?”

Exhaling in a shaky rush, I glanced at her, then stooped, picked up the binoculars, and stood. “I don’t know. I mean... I’m just not sure. I’m not a hundred percent sure what I saw. There was a palm kind of blocking my line of vision. I need to take another look.”

What the palm had been partially blocking, or
who
the palm had been partially blocking, to be more precise, was Holden and Hannah. They were taking a stroll down the beach some ways in front of my cabin, and I hadn’t been able to resist a bit of spying with the binoculars, which Cora had given me. But now I was somewhat regretting using them, because it had appeared that Holden and Hannah were holding hands. The sight of it, even though it had just been a glimpse through a palm, was almost more than I could take.

Though, still, I had to know if what I’d thought I’d seen was really what I
had
seen. So, I lifted the binoculars to my eyes once again and brought the two figures on the beach back into focus. Now that they had passed a copse of palms bordering the beach, I could see them with crystal-clear clarity, and, because of the binoculars, I could see them as closely as if they were standing only a half-dozen feet away from me. Almost instantly, a little lump rose in my throat, and my voice came out in a near-whisper.

“They
are
holding hands. They’re actually... they’re actually holding hands, Cora. Hannah’s holding the hand of
my
—” I paused to try to swallow the lump in my throat down, but without much success. “
My
son of a freak.”

“Look... maybe you should put the binoculars down. Maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea for me to give them to you. I think this is too hard on you, and—”

I gave my head a little shake, still holding the binoculars to my face. “I can’t, though. I just can’t look away.”

For some strange reason, I really couldn’t, even though I knew I was just torturing myself. It was as if my arms just wouldn’t work to lower the binoculars. It was as if some unseen force was
making
me hold them up.

It had only been about three weeks since Holden had broken up with me, and I’d never dreamed he’d move on so quickly. I’d been thinking and hoping that we’d get back together in time, despite the fact that he refused to speak to me since our breakup happened.

I just figured that he needed time to think things over before agreeing to give me a chance to prove to him that I
could
trust him and behave with a little more thought and maturity. I hadn’t envisioned him taking up with Hannah, seeming to forget all about me.

“Just look away, Haley.”

In response to Cora, I just shook my head again. “I can’t.”

Within a moment, I was glad I didn’t. Holden and Hannah’s hands separated, and it looked like he had done the pulling away. I looked up at their faces and saw that Holden’s bore an expression of what seemed to be discomfort. Hannah was frowning, and seemed possibly hurt.

Still not lowering the binoculars, I heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. They’re not holding hands anymore. It seemed like Holden was the one to pull away.”

I continued watching them amble along the beach for a few seconds until they disappeared from view.

Only then did I lower the binoculars.  I looked at Cora, daring to allow a little hope to rise in my heart. “Okay, well, altogether, they only held hands for about five seconds. Holden didn’t seem to like it for some reason. So, I’ve still got a chance, don’t I?”

Cora gave me a little smile, her expression unmistakably sympathetic. “Of course you do. As I’ve been saying for weeks now, I think you and Holden
will
get back together eventually, and I still believe that. But in the meantime—”

“In the meantime, I’ve just gotta keep Hannah the hell away from him, I know. Or keep
him
away from
her
, whichever. I’ve just gotta keep them both apart.”

Cora frowned, drawing her dark brows together. “Well, no, that’s actually not at all what I was going to say.”

“Then, what?”

“I was going to say that in the meantime, you’ve just got to be patient. You have to give Holden time. You have to prove to him that you are committed to being a new you; a new you who trusts him, thinks things through more, and is more mature. Because after all, isn’t that what you told me that you told
him
, the night that you blew up the lake? That you were willing to change? That you were willing to show him that?”

It was true. I
had
told him all that. But that had been before Hannah and her sister Ashley had come to Sun Cove. That had been before I’d learned that Hannah and Holden used to have a “thing” together, as Cora had told me, and before I’d seen that she was almost impossibly drop-dead gorgeous, with sparkling jewel-green eyes, waist-length auburn hair, and a figure like a lingerie model’s. I told Holden all the things that I had when I’d thought we’d have more time to work things out, just the two of us. I hadn’t counted on the added complication of Hannah.

At first, she and Holden seemed to keep their distance, which obviously made me happy, but then, after maybe a week or two, I’d seen them around the village a few times, talking. Then, not a half-hour earlier, Amy called me, reporting that Holden and Hannah were taking a walk along the beach together. She sounded like she didn’t want to tell me, but felt compelled to do so. And that’s when I called Cora and asked her to lend me her binoculars.

Looking at Cora, I nodded. “Yes, I did tell Holden I was going to change, and I meant that, and I still do. My intent has been to just give him some time... To show him that I trust him around Hannah, and that he can trust
me
to be mature and not fly off the handle and do something crazy without fully thinking things through.

But now....” I sighed, slumping against the window, my gaze going to the glittering, sunlit ocean a ways beyond. “Now it’s obvious that Hannah wants more from Holden that just a few chats in the village every now and then. Now she wants walks, and she wants to hold his hand. And just because it looked like he quickly pulled his hand away from her just now, it doesn’t mean that’s not what he wants, too.

He could have just been a little taken aback. He could have just been... Well, I don’t know. Maybe he realized that they were passing my cabin, and just on the off-chance that I was looking out the window, he didn’t want to be rude. But, no matter why he pulled his hand away, I’m nervous now. Way too nervous to just sit back and be passive.

I just can’t sit back while they spend more and more time together, and while they become even closer. There’s too big a risk of them re-igniting whatever spark they once had.”

“Well, what are you going to do? I don’t mean to sound defeatist or anything, but it doesn’t seem like there’s much you
can
do,” said Cora. Thinking, I slowly pulled my gaze from the ocean and looked at Cora again. “Well, I
can
talk to Holden. I can tell him that as far as my deep feelings for him, nothing is changed since the night I blew up the lake. I can tell him I still love him, and that I’m still committed to changing some of my ways, still committed to trusting him, and earning
his
trust in return.”

With her chocolate-brown eyes troubled, Cora took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “
If
he’ll talk to you, though. Because the past couple of times you’ve tried....”

“Yeah. I know.”

A warm, salt-scented breeze blew in the living room windows, rustling the sheer white curtains, and I looked out the window at the gently waving palms. It was another perfect, sunny, gorgeous day on the island. Or, it had been, until I’d seen Holden and Hannah.

Having a sudden thought, I turned back to Cora. “Hey. Did you or Amy ever find out just how long Hannah and Ashley are planning to stay in Sun Cove? Why exactly they decided to show up all of a sudden, and how they did? Because I
know
it really wasn’t to visit their dear cousin Conner, or their dear cousin-in-law, Cora.”

They’d barely even said hello to Conner or Cora since their arrival.

Cora shook her head, making her dark brown hair ripple. “I really haven’t found out anything, and Amy hasn’t, either. Hannah and Ashley are still sticking to their story about simply wanting to visit family indefinitely, which, like you, I just know is complete bull.

I’ve even invited them over for dinner a few times, but they’ve begged off each time, despite the fact that I know that they don’t have a stove or oven in the cabin they’re sharing, so you’d think they’d jump at an offer of a hot dinner. But, nope, they just politely begged off, preferring to hang out by themselves, I guess. It’s like they don’t
want
to talk to Conner and me, or they have something to hide.”

“Well, what do you think it is?”

“No clue. Here is something I think is funny, though. They’ve been living with the wolves in Clearwater for the past several years, but when I asked how things have been there, Ashley just shrugged and said they hadn’t been there in a couple of months.

But then Hannah quickly talked over her and said something about how Ashley had meant to say that they hadn’t been there in ‘a couple of days,’ because they’d walked slowly from Clearwater, just taking their time. But, needless to say, I don’t buy this. For one thing, with Clearwater being only a few miles away, they had to have been almost literally inching along at a snail’s pace in order for it to take them that long.

And for another thing, up until the evening they arrived here, the Forms were still a danger. No way would they have decided to set out on a hike from village to village with that still being the case. So, obviously, Ashley was telling the truth. I think she just slipped. She’s always definitely been the airhead of the two sisters, to say the least, and Hannah has always been more the leader and the thinker.”

“Well, if Ashley was telling the truth, that they haven’t been to Clearwater in months, where have they been, then? With the dragons?”

Cora lifted her slender shoulders in a shrug. “Hard to tell, but I don’t think so. If they were, it seems like they’d have no reason to hide it. More likely, I think maybe something happened to make them leave Clearwater... Either because they just wanted to, or because they were kicked out. Even with the Forms around, it’s possible they’ve just been kind of camping out somewhere on the island the past couple of months, just figuring out their next move.

The more I think about it, the more likely this scenario seems. Hannah has a hot, destructive kind of temper, which is part of the reason she and Holden broke up, and when the dust cleared, Holden told her it would be best if she found another village. At this point, I don’t think Holden liked her very much, and she’d been in so many fights with different people around here that no one else really liked her much, either.

So, it just stands to reason that someone with a temper hot enough to be asked to leave a village once... Well, who knows? Maybe it happened again. And maybe Hannah’s just too embarrassed to tell Holden that. I’m just guessing she’s told him she ‘just wanted to visit with family’ line, too.”

I scoffed, glancing out at the now-empty stretch of beach where Holden and Hannah had been walking. “When it’s perfectly clear Hannah’s real reason for coming here. She obviously just wants Holden back.”

Cora shrugged again. “It’s definitely beginning to seem that way... I don’t blame you at all for wanting to talk to Holden. But, please, just take my advice, and just tell him only what you just said a bit ago, that you love him, and that you’re still committed to changing, and trusting him, and earning
his
trust in return.

I’d just completely leave Hannah out of this. I wouldn’t even mention her name. I just think that if you do, Holden might get the impression that you don’t trust him, or you might come off as immature or spiteful. Because honestly, I can tell it’s hard for you to even talk about Hannah without being resentful, and understandably so, but you probably don’t want that to come through when you talk to Holden.”

I nodded, loosely folding my arms across my chest. “You’re right. I just want to show him the new me. The new, more trusting, more mature Haley.”

Cora smiled, crinkling the edges of her eyes. “You’ve got this. Soon you and Holden will be back together. Hannah will let her hot temper get the better of her once again, and she’ll be swearing and making violent threats and throwing any item she can get her hands on. That will make Holden ask her to leave the village again; and then she’ll sulk off to wherever she and Ashley came from. You’ll see. This will all work out.”

I smiled back, praying she was right. The alternative, which was Holden never taking me back, was so upsetting, I could hardly stand to think about it.

***

I was beyond eager to talk to Holden, but I didn’t get the chance that day. For weeks, he and his men had been busy filling in the empty crater of the lake bed so that there would be no way it could ever fill up with murky, mysterious water again, and they were still at it, with at least another week of work left to do. Late in the evening, I strolled through the darkened village to Holden’s cabin, where I waited for him on his front porch for at least an hour, but when he still hadn’t returned by midnight, I trudged off back home.