The Island Of Bears: A BBW Paranormal Romance (15 page)

CHAPTER 14

As I began swimming for shore, Cora grabbed my arm to try to stop me. “Haley, please... Don’t do this. I only told you because I’m positive that there must be a perfectly good—and innocent!—explanation for whatever the hell is going on up there, and I was going to volunteer to go up there myself and find out what it is. Emphasis on
myself
... Meaning,
not
you.”

Trying to shrug her hand off my arm, I began swimming faster. “Sorry, Cora. I’m just not sure that you’ll be as good at murdering as I’m about to be.”

“Just listen to me, Haley. Please just listen. Holden has asked you to give him space. A major confrontation on the beach is
not
giving him space. Don’t blow your whole future with him over some crazy misunderstanding. Because I’m sure that’s all this is, and blowing your whole future with him is what I’m sure is going to happen if you storm the beach right now. He probably won’t ever take you back after this. Not if you make it so completely obvious that you still don’t trust him and have no intention of respecting his requests.”

A rapid doggy-paddle was the fastest I could swim, so I wasn’t having much luck shaking Cora off, especially since she was holding my arm in a vice grip.

I glanced over at her, panting with exertion. “Don’t tell me that if you saw Conner carrying some gorgeous ex-girlfriend of his on his back while in bear form that you wouldn’t be ready to send limbs flying all over the beach.”

“Look. I’m not saying I blame you for how you’re feeling. I’m just saying think this through. Please. For me. In case you haven’t noticed, I am very pro-Haley and Holden, and I am really just trying to stop you from making what I know will be a huge mistake. So, please... Just slow the hell down and think about this. Don’t make me dunk your head under the water to try to get you to see sense.”

I finally stopped swimming, but only because Holden and Hannah had disappeared from view. Since Holden had been running, it really hadn’t taken them very long. It didn’t seem like either of them had even seen Cora and me.

Treading water across from Cora, who’d finally released my arm, I worked on catching my breath for a few moments before speaking. “All right. I won’t confront them myself. But I
have
to know what was going on. If Holden has been lying to me... If he really
is
involved in some kind of a relationship with Hannah... I need to know.”

I couldn’t think of how it might be possible that he
wasn’t
in a relationship with Hannah. In the village, riding on a man’s back while he was in shifter form was somehow seen as a pretty intimate thing, and a woman just didn’t do it unless the man whose back they were riding was
their
man. A man wouldn’t offer a woman a “lift” in such a fashion unless he definitely wanted that woman to be
his
woman.

Despite Cora’s reassurances that there would be some rational, innocent explanation for Hannah riding on Holden’s back, I could only think in a tunnel-vision sort of way. Holden had been lying to me. I’d been right not to give him my full trust.

In response to what I’d said, Cora nodded. “I’ll find out what’s going on... I’ll do it delicately and discreetly. In the meantime, you’re going back to your cabin, where you’re going to stay put and wait for me. Okay?”

I agreed, and the two of us began swimming back to shore.

***

A few hours later, I was pacing around my cabin, which I’d been doing pretty much since the moment I’d arrived home. The activity had only been interrupted by brief bouts of tearfulness so intense I’d had to sit on the couch while my shoulders shook with sobs. I felt like my heart was breaking.

Though at the same time, I was angry. I kept recalling how Holden had told me that he had no intentions of having any kind of romantic or physical relationship with Hannah, and how many times, and in how many different ways, he’d said this. I felt tricked. Betrayed. Though more than a bit vindicated at the same time, because I’d been right, I told myself. My instinct not to trust fully had served me well. However, needless to say, this feeling of vindication was cold comfort.

I hadn’t always had such difficulty giving my complete trust while in a relationship, but an experience with a cheating boyfriend some years back had changed all that. But unlike with Holden, I hadn’t really deeply loved this particular boyfriend, so his betrayal actually hadn’t hurt that bad. It just made me a bit wary. Now, going forward, I couldn’t imagine how I could ever give a man even a sliver of trust ever again.

Still pacing around and sniffling a bit around eight in the evening, I stopped dead in my tracks when Cora and Amy burst into my cabin, which was the only way their entrance could be described. After one of them had yanked open the door, they both came racing through the foyer, only pumping their brakes when they reached me in the living room.

With her long brown hair tangled and her face flushed, as if she’d run to my cabin with all haste, Cora took a few gulps of air with her hands on her knees before speaking. “He’s not cheating on you. He didn’t betray you. There
was
a perfectly innocent explanation for why Hannah was riding on his back this afternoon.

After this—after I tell it to you—if you still can’t make a decision to give Holden your complete trust now... Well, I think I think it’ll be the biggest mistake of your life, because he’s a good man who
does
truly love you, and he’s been faithful to you the whole time, even when the two of you haven’t technically been together. I know this for a fact. I could see it in his eyes.”

Pulse pounding, I stared at her, hugging my arms to my chest. “But what’s the explanation for what we saw this afternoon? How could Hannah riding on Holden’s back have possibly been anything other than what it looked like?”

With her face flushed like Cora’s was, Amy took me by the arm and began leading me over to the couch. “The age-old adage is true in this case. Looks can be deceiving. Let us explain.”

She and I sat on the couch, and Cora had a seat in a cream-colored overstuffed chair across from us.

She sat back, crossing one long, slender leg over the other, and looked me right in the eyes. “Hannah was badly injured this afternoon. She was taking a walk around the jungle in flip-flops, but the strap on one of them broke, so she was heading back to the village with one bare foot, and she cut it on a rock or something. She was gushing blood, and scared out of her mind, so she started screaming.

Holden, who was nearby, leading the surveillance patrol, came to help her. He shifted into human form, wrapped her foot with his t-shirt, and then shifted back into bear form to take her back to the village. He exited out of the jungle and ran parallel to it, along the beach, so that he could go with all speed without worrying about the uneven terrain in the jungle making Hannah fall off his back.”

I sputtered for a long moment, nearly speechless. “But, she looked perfectly fine when we saw them. On top of his back like that, she looked like, satisfied somehow. Like, almost happy.”

Cora shrugged. “Well, I can’t explain the look on her face, other than I’m sure that she
was
maybe happy that the result of her injury was getting a lift from Holden. But as far as her being perfectly fine, she absolutely wasn’t. Holden said that by the time they got back to the village, his t-shirt was almost entirely soaked in blood. From where you and I were in the ocean, we just couldn’t see Hannah’s injury, because they were heading east, to the village, meaning that Hannah’s injured foot, which was her left, would have been hidden by Holden’s big, furry body.”

Now I really was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what to think. All I knew was that I was beginning to develop an actual ache in my chest.

Amy, who was sitting across from me on the couch, broke the silence after a few seconds. “Haley, no kidding. This was not Holden cheating on you or trying to start anything with Hannah in any way, shape, or form. She was truly very badly injured and needed help right away. She had a gash on her foot about half a foot long. Dr. Anderson was already stitching her up when I got to the medical center to check on her, and he said it was going to take at least a dozen stitches to close the wound. At least.”

After another brief period of silence, Cora spoke next, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward in her chair, looking at me. “Holden loves you, Haley. Even in the midst of all the drama about Hannah, he still took me aside at the medical center and asked me how you were doing today. And his eyes when he said it... He just had a look of a man who’s been very hurt, and still is hurt, but is still very much in love at the same time. He doesn’t want to let you go, but he just needs you to trust him.

He’s hurt because you can’t seem to, and he’s hurt because he’s never given you any reason
not
to, including today.” With a little glimmer of pain in her own eyes, Cora paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “I want to tell you something. You’re my friend, and I want to support you, but Holden is our community’s leader, and he’s my husband’s best friend, and he’s my friend, too.

I want him to be happy, and I want him to be treated the way he deserves. Which, of course, is
not
being treated with suspicion at every turn, even though he’s done nothing wrong.”

Still holding my gaze, Cora paused for another deep breath before continuing again. “I think if you can’t make a genuine, heartfelt decision to trust Holden completely, and then put that complete trust into action, like Amy has suggested, you should just let Holden go, and tell him that you’re doing so. I think this would be fairest to you both.”

I nodded, suddenly noticing that tears were freely flowing down my face. Sniffling, I abruptly wiped them away with the back of my hand. “I feel like a complete ass. When I blew up the lake, I told Holden I’d try to learn to trust him, but I guess I haven’t tried very hard. I also told him I’d try to think things through better, but I guess I haven’t really tried very hard on that account, either, as I’m sure you well know, Cora, because you had to grab my arm today to keep me from going ballistic at the ocean.”

Amy handed me a tissue from a box on an end table, and I took it, dabbed my eyes, and blew my nose before speaking again.

“I’m ready, guys. I don’t want to lose Holden. I’m ready to give him my complete trust. I know I can’t just
try
anymore; it has to be a choice. A conscious act. I’m going to put that trust into action by giving him the benefit of the doubt, each and every time, until he does something to break that trust. Which....” I paused to blow my nose again. “Which, after learning the truth about him and Hannah today, I’m starting to feel in my heart that he’d never do. He’s told me that I can trust him, and now I believe that I really can. I’m ready to do it.”

Amy gave me a little smile. “Make it official, then. Say it out loud.”

I exhaled a shaky breath, and then attempted to return her smile. “All right. Here it is. From this moment forward, I’m not
trying
to trust Holden anymore; I trust him. Period. I’m giving him my complete trust, even though he doesn’t even know it yet.”

Just like that, I made a decision to simply trust Holden. I just had no idea how soon my new-found trust would be put to the test.

THE FINAL
CHAPTER

Late in the afternoon the following day, after I’d been working with Cora and Amy in our studio for several hours, I was ready to call it quits for the time being. Despite the time I’d put in, I really hadn’t accomplished much all day, because I’d been distracted, wondering how soon Holden would notice that I’d finally decided to trust him, and wondering if I should send him a brief letter telling him about my decision, even though he’d asked me not to contact him. I also wondered if he would indeed eventually take me back, as I desperately hoped, and if so, how long it might be before that happened.

I knew it was pointless to wonder. All I could do was go forward with my life on the island. That, and wait patiently. All while continuing to trust Holden, no matter what Hannah did.

After cleaning up my work-station and saying goodbye to Cora and Amy, I left the studio and started out on a walk down the beach. But before long, I noticed a few people in the village casting glances my way, and one of them, from a woman hanging laundry on a line between two cabins, was a look of distinct pity. I could clearly tell this, even from maybe thirty feet away.

Amy had told me earlier that day that many women in the village really liked me and really disliked Hannah, and they felt sorry about what had happened between Holden and me. But while I appreciated this, I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I really didn’t even want anyone looking at me at the time. I decided to continue with my walk, but behind the village, in the jungle, on a dirt path that ran parallel to the village.

Once on the jungle path, it wasn’t long before I approached the back of Holden’s cabin. It was situated between two dense clusters of palms, with bright red hibiscus bushes bordering a wide, wood-planked deck out back. Just simply seeing Holden’s home made my chest tight with emotion, but I resolved to just push through it and continue on my way. After all, sooner or later, I was going to have to get used to not only seeing his cabin, but
him
, while knowing that he wasn’t mine anymore, but at the same time trusting that he wasn’t Hannah’s, either.

I was directly behind his cabin when I heard voices. I came to a stop, realizing that those voices belonged to Holden and Hannah. For several long, agonizing moments, I thought that the voices were coming from inside the cabin, like they were possibly having an intimate chat on the couch, but then I realized that the voices were coming from around the front, maybe from the porch. Desperate to hear what the two of them were talking about, I crept around to the side of the cabin to hear better, confirming that they were talking on or near the porch. But I still couldn’t hear them very clearly.

Deciding that I just had to hear their conversation, I tiptoed over to a copse of palms adjacent to the cabin and hid behind them. Now I could hear. I could see Hannah and Holden, too. Wearing a t-shirt and battered jeans that hung low on his slim hips, Holden was standing on the porch with a plate of food balanced on the wide railing in front of him, and Hannah was standing below the porch on crutches, looking up at him.

The last couple of words she’d spoken had seemed to be the punchline of a joke, and she threw her head back and laughed, sending her long auburn hair rippling down her back. Holden laughed, too, and with a lump in my throat, I remembered something Amy had told me. She’d said something along the lines  that back in the day, Hannah  had a sense of humor that Holden  seemed to really enjoy. And now, it was clear to me that he still did.

Before she could tell him another joke, before she could say even another single word, I realized something. I was eavesdropping. And eavesdropping wasn’t trusting.

Before even fully realizing what I was doing, I began backing away from the palms, toward the jungle behind me, whispering to myself. “I trust him.”

When I reached the jungle, I took off at a run, heading west, away from Holden’s cabin and toward my own. Forcing my feet to keep going, even though I wasn’t much of a runner, I didn’t stop until my lungs began burning after several minutes. Hands on knees, I rested for a short while until I caught my breath. Then, straightening up, I began talking to no one in particular, just myself, as I’d always tended to do when rattled or stressed.

“You trust him, Haley. You do. And this is trust in action.”

With a few tropical birds shrieking and calling to each other around me, I sat down on a log to rest some more and think.

It was clear to me that my trust in Holden wasn’t unfounded, and it was clear that he still wasn’t betraying it. He often liked to eat dinner out on his back deck or the porch, and I knew that was probably what he’d been doing when Hannah arrived. It didn’t appear that it had been a planned meeting, and it was obvious that he hadn’t asked her to join him for the meal.

It didn’t even seem that he’d invited her up to the porch to sit, despite her being on crutches. Which all certainly gave credibility to what he’d said about not wanting a romantic relationship with her at all. Now, I finally believed him. I didn’t need to eavesdrop to confirm this. I finally just trusted him.

However, that wasn’t to say that I now felt great about their platonic friendship; I absolutely didn’t. I wished Hannah would just go back to whatever part of the jungle she’d come from. Until she did, if she ever did, I knew I was going to have to learn to stomach seeing her around Holden.

At least until he and I got back together,
if
we got back together. I figured only then would it be fair for me to ask him to spend less time with certain platonic friends. Until then, while he was a single bachelor, I had no right to ask him to do anything, and I knew it. I didn’t have to like it, though, I supposed. I just had to trust that things weren’t going to go any further with him and Hannah, and I did.

After a while of resting on the log, my stomach growled, anticipating dinner, but I wasn’t quite ready to go home yet. I was finding the relative stillness of the jungle calming, and I just wanted to continue to let it soothe my nerves.

I had an energy bar in my cross-strap bag, so I ate that, then washed it down with a bottle of water while watching the tropical birds, who’d finally stopped shrieking and were now hopping from vine to vine, and branch to branch in the tall trees around me. The sun was beginning to sink low, dimming the jungle, which only added to my growing sense of tranquility. Getting up from the log, I decided to walk some more, before eventually heading back to my cabin. I’d walk until it was nearly full dark, and then I’d cut across the jungle and out to the beach, where moonlight would guide me home.

That was the plan, anyway. But it didn’t actually go off that way.

After maybe twenty minutes or so of ambling through the jungle, I heard muffled voices coming from somewhere to my north, deeper into the jungle. Simply curious as to who the voices belonged to; I crept through the darkening jungle, hardly making a sound, until I could hear the voices pretty clearly.

One of the voices was a man’s, though not one I recognized. Two of the voices were female, and to my surprise, I realized they belonged to Hannah and Ashley. Now, more than intrigued, I crept a little closer still, hiding behind palms, figuring that while my new-found trust in Holden wouldn’t let me eavesdrop on
him
, there was really no reason for me to give Hannah alone the same courtesy.

Silently, I inched my way closer and closer until I could not only hear Hannah’s group and every word they were saying, I could see them, too. To my astonishment, I saw that it was a fair-sized group, but several of the members I’d never seen in the village before. Hannah, leaning on her crutches, and Ashley stood opposite three tall, muscular men who were complete strangers to me. Even in the waning light, I could still just make out their very unfamiliar features.

One of the men, the tallest of the three by at least a couple of inches, asked Hannah something I couldn’t quite catch.

She responded in a voice loud enough for me to hear every word. “But, see, Richard, Holden doesn’t even have a clue about your existence. Eric thinks that he and his men killed every single last one of you Wulfric Palms wolves, and he told Holden that. So, he has no clue that the three of you have been lurking around the jungle with me and Ashley all this time.

He is really, truly, completely in the dark. I’ve made sure of this during all my conversations with him. He thinks you’re all dead. He’s so sure of it that he even only led his men on one single surveillance patrol the other day when one of those school kids saw one of you. Holden and everyone else just chalked it up to the kid having an overactive imagination.”

Scoffing, Hannah paused before turning her gaze to the man named Richard again. “So, this is the perfect time for everything we’ve planned for months to be put into action, before one of those dumb kids sees you again. And before we have another close call where Holden himself almost sees one of you again.

As I’m sure we all remember, I had to gash my own foot with a damn seashell in order to divert Holden’s attention away from you, Richard, and I can assure you that I’m in no hurry to have to do a stunt like that again. Tonight’s the night. It has to be now, and there’s no reason to wait any longer. I’ve already got all the information I need from Holden—where his strongest men all sleep, where he positions the village night watch guards these days—everything. So, let’s do it. Tonight at midnight. Total ambush.”

Ashley, who’d been gazing up at the darkening sky, suddenly moved her gaze down to Hannah and spoke. “Wait, what’s the plan again?”

After a long moment, Hannah spoke through what sounded like gritted teeth. “Oh... my God. Mom and Dad always thought you were well beyond a touch mentally challenged, and now I’m really beginning to think they were right.”

Ashley shook her head. “No, I’ll listen this time. I’ll remember this time. Just please tell the plan to me again, Han, and I’ll pay attention. I promise.”

Hannah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Fine. The plan is this: Around midnight, when I tell you to, you are going to decide to take a late-night dip in the ocean. You’re going to swim far out in the ocean, and you’re going to pretend to be drowning. You are going to yell and holler as loud as you can, and I’m going to yell and holler from shore, waking everyone up.

Then, when Holden and all his men dive into the ocean to save you, that’s when Richard, Dylan, and Marcus are going to storm into the village and kill whoever of Holden’s men that are still there. Then, they’ll take out Holden and all the rest, one by one, as they come out of the ocean and make their way to shore. They’ll never even know what hit ’em.”

Abruptly, Hannah turned her gaze from Ashley to Richard. “Oh, and when you kill Holden,
do
make sure he suffers. I want him to pay for him dumping me those years ago. After all, me getting my revenge on him is half what this is about.”

Richard nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll make him suffer. I’ll make him beg for death before I tear his throat out.”

Instantly, a wave of nausea rolled over me, so intense that I had to grab one of the palms I was hiding behind for support. The thought of Holden being hurt or killed was literally almost more than I could take.

Ashley tugged at one of Hannah’s cap sleeves. “And then what happens, Han? What happens after all the bears are dead?”

Hannah spoke through what sounded like gritted teeth once again. “Then what happens, dear sister, is that Richard, Dylan, Marcus, and I will be the new rulers of Sun Cove, and all the women and children in it will be our slaves.”

“But
I
won’t be a slave, right? I’ll be kind of like a ruler, too. And then no one will ever make fun of me for being slow ever again, and then no one will even talk about it or say anything about it ever again, right?”

Hannah spoke after a long hesitation. “Correct. As a co-ruler of Sun Cove, the only thing people will ever say about you is that you’re smart.”

Even in the near-complete darkness, the light of the moon allowed me to see the glint of Ashley’s pearly teeth as she broke into a wide grin.

Of course, my heart broke for her. I’d never spoken to her, on account of her being glued to Hannah’s side a good deal of the time, but Cora and Amy  told me that she was kind of an airhead, maybe even borderline intellectually challenged, and now I could see with crystal-clear clarity that this was definitely the case. I could also see with crystal-clear clarity that her sister was betraying her trust in the worst possible way, taking advantage of her challenges and just using her to get what she wanted.

Almost as quickly as she’d broken into a grin, Ashley frowned at Hannah. “I
do
want to be a co-ruler of Sun Cove, and I
do
want everyone to think I’m smart, but... I still just don’t feel very good about what’s gonna happen to the bears... How we have to kill them all so that everyone else can be our slaves. All that part of the plan... It just makes my heart feel like... Just like, a little crumpled up inside.”

“Well, tough shit.” Standing up straighter on her crutches, Hannah continued in a loud, confident voice. “You want to be a co-ruler, right? You want everyone to think you’re smart, right?”

Ashley nodded, making her curly ponytail bounce. “Yeah... I do.”

“Well, then, you’ve got to stick to the plan, no matter how your little heart feels. Because after tonight... Well, I haven’t wanted to tell you this, Ash, but I think people are going to be saying that you’re the smartest co-ruler of us all. Just because you’re the one who’s going to start this whole thing off by pretending to be drowning in the ocean. Yep, I’m almost sure of it. They’ll say, ‘Ashley is the smartest co-ruler of them all.’”