The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel (26 page)

And then I woke up.

Robert was sitting next to the bed, waiting for me. Sister Madonna was touching my cheek.

“Your friend is here,” she said softly into my ear. “Come on, my child. He’s waiting.”

She smiled her saintly smile, then helped Robert onto the bed beside me. That’s so he could look down at my face and I could see him. He isn’t too big either, you know. He’s the second shortest boy in the class. Aren’t you, Robert? So he looked down at my eyes and I looked up at his eyes and then he said, “Hi.”

So I said, “Hi.”

(And that’s all we said for a long time. We just looked at each other. He was wearing a uniform and he was carrying a gun. Thats what he told me. Said he might not be back. I laughed. "Sure you will” I said. He smiled. Then he said he loved me. Then he got mortared. Then I woke up.) 

“I really liked the comicbook,” I told him.

“So did I.”

“I thought the story about the gorilla was real good.” “Yeah.”

Then he said:

“You can keep it if you want.”

Then I said:

“Thanks, Robert.”

Then we didn’t say anything for a while.

You see, Superman, it was really hard to talk to him. Because I hadn’t seen him for a LONG time and so I didn’t know what to say. So many things have changed since I last saw him. You know, the fall and everything. It was almost as if we were strangers, meeting for the first time beneath a cracked ceiling. Except we weren’t really strangers because we knew we were gonna be friends because we used to be. And because we need to be. Isn’t that right, Robert?

Then after a while Sister Madonna said she had to go pray but I think she had to go pee. Anyway she left. And me and Robert started talking a lot faster and he told me how EVERYBODY’S been talking about it. And Duane Machado said the reason I jumped was because I was trying to commit suicide just like you did way back when we was eating pork chops. Remember? And Jimmy Sinceri said he was GLAD I jumped. And Janie Jobb said that she was too but she’d never say it BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO. And Robert said he heard Sister Mary Justin whisper how there was a Devil in my body. And it pushed me off and tried to kill me so it could take me to HELL.

But they’re all WRONG, Superman. Nobody knows why I REALLY did it. Not even Robert, who said he heard his mom talking to Veronica on the telephone about how my mom was losing weight. And about how she was going through Hell and they hope she don’t lose the baby. What they was talking about was my baby brother who will turn out to be my baby sister. If she makes it.

And Robert said my mom NEVER goes out of the house except when she has to go to the hospital or church. And she always goes to the early Mass because it’s at 6 o’clock in the morning and so there’s hardly anybody there. Because one time I went when my brother Buster was starting to be a altarboy. And so he had to work the early shift because he was a new altarboy and all the older altarboys didn’t like getting up so early. And neither did I. But my mom said I had to. And Buster was pretty good except one time he sneezed when he was supposed to say Amen. And so I laughed and my mom hit me. And another time he was going up the altarsteps when he dropped some incense on the priest’s foot. So he bent down to pick it up and the priest started to genuflect and he knocked Buster down the steps. It wouldn’t have been too bad except he landed on the other altarboy who was holding a candle. And the wax fell on Buster’s neck and he yelled REAL loud and jumped up and knocked over the statue of Saint Dominic. And the head of Saint Dominic broke off and rolled down the aisle and landed near the fourth pew. And the nose broke off also. It landed near the seventh pew where Mary Louise was sitting. She looked down at it. I heard a siren.

I woke up.

Robert was still beside me on the bed. The room was dark. The nurse was gone. I heard something rattling down the hallway. Robert held me closer. Then he started whispering in my ear.

“You said something when you jumped,” he said. “I heard you say something. You were laying on the ground and you were mumbling and everybody was standing 
around but nobody could understand. Nobody knew what you were saying, what you were trying to do. Except for me, Jerry. I’m your bestfriend. I knew. But I didn’t tell anybody. I stood there looking at your face. It was twisted way back and there was blood in your hair. But your eyes were open and you were awake. You weren’t dreaming. You kept looking at your mom who was crying. You kept saying that one word over and over—that one word nobody could understand. Not even Veronica nextdoor. HE’S DELERIOUS, she said. HE’S NOT SAYING ANYTHING. But she was wrong, as usual. I knew what you were saying, Jerry. I understood what you were trying to do when you looked up so helplessly and said

!kltpzyxM

“And then you heard a siren.”

“Is that all you can remember?” Dr. Clark asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, that’s all.”

“Do you know what it means, Jerry? This word—what is it?—Kilipzim or Kilpitzim or . . .”

!kltpzyxM
 I said. “It’s 
!kltpzyxM
—accent on the second syllable.”

“Yes, 
!kltpzyxM
 . . . Would you mind spelling that for me?”

“Sure, it’s ! k 1 t p z y . . .”

And then I stopped.

And then I looked at Dr. Clark.

And then I said: “Hey, you’re not trying to trick me, are you?”

“Trick you?”

“YES! You’re trying to make me spell my name backwords! You’re trying to send me to The Fifth Dimension!”

“What are you talking about?” the doctor asked, and a look of panic spread across his face. He pressed the buzzer beside my bed.

“YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” I said much louder, almost shouting. “You’re trying to trick me! You’re not really a doctor! You’re pretending! That’s why you don’t give shots! This whole thing’s just an act. You’re trying to get rid of me. You’re not a doctor! You’re SUPERMAN!”

He froze.

He put down his pen.

He looked me right in the eyes, then took off his glasses.

“You’ve figured me out this time,” he said, unbuttoning his shirt.

I gave him one of my impish smiles.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Mxyzptlk! I’ll get you yet!” he said, unzipping his fly and pulling off his pants. He stood there beside my bed in full uniform. He reached across my fragile body and opened the window. “I’ll get you yet!” he shouted, then leaped out the window, into the air, sucking the curtains behind him. He left me there alone, with my bandages.

“I’LL GET YOU YET, MR. MXYZPTLK!” he shouted behind him.

Suddenly there were three nurses around my bed. Dr. Clark was shouting orders to them, but I couldn’t hear. There was this noise in my ears, like a siren. I couldn’t breathe too good. I saw a needle flash before my eyes, then I felt it going into my neck. Deep into my neck. The last 
thing I heard was my mom’s voice. “WHY?” it asked. And then the doors slammed.

And then I woke up.

Robert was still beside me, writing this letter. But then Sister Madonna came in and told him it’s time to go young man. And that’s why we have to stop write here, Superman. Because Sister Madonna’s waiting. Time’s up. But Robert will be back tomorrow and we’ll write you another letter then. So don’t worry.

Goodbye.

Your friends,

JERRY and ROBERT

OK, Robert, are you ready? DEAR SUPERMAN,

How are you? I am fine thank you. Considering the circumstances. Robert is pretty good too. He just got here a few minutes ago and we decided to write you a letter RIGHT away. This way we might finish it before Sister Madonna comes back. Which is why I told Robert he better write faster this time—huh, Robert? Isn’t that right, Robert? Robert, are you there?