The Lost Trucker (The Trucker Saga) (5 page)

  “Ryder, I need to run upstairs really fast and use the little girls room. I will be back in two shakes of a monkey’s ass.” I move out of his hold on me physically and mentally. What is it about him? He said that there is something about me that is captivating, what about him? There is nothing captivating about me. He is making things up. Either way, I am not going to fall for sweet talk, I am not going to be fooled ever again.

   I do my business and wash my hands then head back out the door to hopefully save whatever this thing tonight was going to be. “You ready now?” Ryder says as I walk back down the stairs. I walk over to the passenger side of the car which was opened for me. Hmm.

“Yep.” I pop the P and sit my ass down in the car.

   Layla owns a brand spanking new Ford Mustang; electric blue with racing strips down the middle and of course it is a drop top. The top is up this afternoon because it is starting to get cold at night here.

  “Are you gonna be like this all night? I’m sorry okay. I didn’t mean to be mean and nasty like I was. But I won’t apologize for throwing you over my shoulder because if it's necessary again I will do it again, and over my knee
the next time too.” He says while he puts the car in gear and speeds off which flips my head back on the seat and I let a little giggle out.  He focuses on the road and heads for the next little town where there is an amazing dive bar.

  “How do you know that I will even give you a chance after what you just pulled? That was some bullshit Ryder. Some nasty fuck could have taken a picture to save in their spank bank for later. Ugh, I feel nasty now. I feel like one of those girls that wonders around the lot at night.” I shudder again at the thought and I grab my hand sanitizer just for good measure.

   Ryder starts laughing so hard that I think he is going to crash the car and I grab a hold of the ‘oh shit’ handle. “You….you…oh…my…god…Babe! You’re nothing close to a ‘lot lizard’. That’s some funny shit right there. Spank bank, huh? Can I have some pictures of you for mine??” He gets the biggest and sexiest smile on his face that I have ever seen. He looks me right in the eyes and all I can do is stare back at him. I have no idea how to answer him so I just focus on the song that’s playing on the radio;
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me.
So I reach over and turn it up a little bit more, I can feel the bass pumping in the car and it makes me feel like it would be a good night to do some drinking and dancing. I need a good night out. “Do you know how to dance, Ryder?” I say to him while focusing out the front window.

  “You bet your sweet ass I know how to dance baby.” He says as he reaches over and runs his finger down my arm. I instantly get goose bumps.

      Ryder pulls the car into the parking lot of an amazing dive bar in the next town over. As we are walking in I notice some of the girls are eying up Ryder. I had a sudden feeling of jealousy. He wasn’t mine to feel like this
, but the feeling overwhelmed me turning into anger. I was like this when Beau and I first started dating.

I sigh and walk up behind Ryder grab his hand and squeeze it in mine. He turns and looks down at me, I look up into his eyes and he smiles. “You do know how handsome you look right?” I ask him and he just starts to snicker a little bit and pulls me into his side and tucks me under his arm. I manage to peek over his arm a little and look at the 3 chicks that were checking him out. The look on their faces is priceless they are shocked as hell!

Yeah, that’s right! I came here with him and I’m leaving with him!
Man, Faith! Quit acting like this! I want this man so much my heart is saying yes, yet my head is niggling me.

    We walk over to the bar and grab a couple of seats. Ryder waves down the bartender. Here she
comes, a cute blonde that is probably around my age with a huge rack and when I say huge I mean like I don’t know how she is standing up straight! Maybe it is her tray holder. “What’ll you two have?” she looks at Ryder with a flirtatious smile, she has a complete look of disdain on her face when she turns to me.

  “Can I have an Irish car bomb to start off with and then I’ll have a Red Headed Slut chaser.” I give her my order with a smile and flip of my hair and put my hand possessively on Ryder’s shoulder. I can see that he is trying not to laugh in her face.

    “I'll have a Coors Light and a Jager Bomb. Thanks.” He says as he turns back to me and grabs my hand again. I just stare at our hands it feels so good to hold hands with someone again. It’s one of the small intimacies I miss the most about being in a relationship. It is a small gesture that goes a long way, for me anyway. Oh well, I can’t focus on that while I am with this amazingly hot piece of meat.

  The bartender brings us our drinks. We both pick up our shots and hold them over the bigger glasses; I stop Ryder before he drops his shot glass into the Red Bull. “Let’s toss, to friendship, heartache, lust and all of the above.” I clink my glass with his. “Well on that note, I toss to friendships that turn into everything you hope they will and more.” He clinks his glass to mine and I lock eyes with him and for just a second I believe he might really care about me.

  I shake my head and focus on the shot. “To us!” and with that we both drop the shot glasses and start to chug our mixed drinks. Of course Ryder is done with his before I am done chugging my pounder glass full of Guinness. I slam the glass on the counter and let out a huge sigh and a little burp that I cover with my hand so it isn’t too horribly loud and unlady like.

  “DAMN! I think I am in love! You’re truly amazing in every way Faith. I can’t believe you can drink like that. But can you hold it down, that is the big question and no puking in
Layla’s car.” Ryder says with a half snicker coming from his chest.

“I never get sick! I will be fine. I know how to drink I grew up with two older brothers, not only that but I also dated the captain of the football team all through high school and into college. So I have been to a few parties so you have nothing to worry about Ryder.” I say to him with all confidence and trust in myself to pace the booze.

*****

  We have been at the bar for hours and I can't believe how well we are getting on. There are no awkward silences, just a lot of fun. We stuff ourselves with greasy yummy dive bar food. The kind that you’re thankful for when you start to get a little tipsy and it is the perfect thing to level the drunkenness out.

   I start to giggle when I hear the next song come over the loud speaker. I feel the bass start to pump as the song starts and I hear one of my favorite bands start to take over my ears.
My Darkest Days – Porn Star Dancing
starts thumping in the bar. I see tons of people getting down on the dance floor and I am just drunk enough to ask Ryder to dance with me. “Ryder, come. Dance floor. NOW!” I reach my hand out to him and pull him out of whatever daze he was in.

   “I thought you would never ask, but I should warn you this is a dirty song to dance to.” He says as he grabs my hips and pulls me backwards into his. He drops his face close to my ear and starts to breathe into my ear gently.

  We reach the dance floor and he instantly turns me around so that I am facing him then he grabs my wrists and thrusts my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on my hips. I start to move with the beat of the music, I step a little bit closer into his dance space and he takes it as a hint that I want to become one with him. He pulls me so close that I can feel his body heat, it fills my senses for a few moments.

   I was right when I saw him
the first time, his chest is rock solid and his arms feel amazing around me. I don’t want him to stop what he is doing. The song continues to thump bass out the speakers; I see couples all around me doing risqué dance moves. I am all for PDA but not something that sexual. I start to feel Ryder's hands wandering up my torso and then a little bit higher. His hands are on either side of my tits. I feel his thumb rub against the bottom part of them and they ache. My core is on fire and I need to stop whatever is happening; but my body is saying just let it go on for a moment.

 
Maybe, you’ll get kissed or better yet; you might get laid!
My brain and body are having an argument of their own. Do I stop him, or do I enjoy this for that little bit longer? I feel my breath catch in my throat as he moves his thumbs up my tits a little more.

   He looks down and stops caressing my sides.  Instead he reaches up and puts a hand either side of my face and leans in to kiss me right on the lips. I don’t expect it so I don’t back away in time to stop him, or at least I keep trying to tell myself that’s why I didn’t move.

   I push him away and my instant reaction is to slap Ryder so that’s what I do. I slap him and it’s not a soft one either. I really didn’t mean for it to be that hard, I guess I don't know my own strength when I'm drunk. Ryder steps back for a second, a shocked look on his face he walks back over to me, grabs my hand drags me over to the bar to grab our coats and marches us towards the front door.

“Ouch, Ryder.
You’re hurting me.” I say as he is still pulling me towards the door, but with my protests he stops turns around grabs my other arm bends down and throws me over his shoulder. He throws his jacket over my ass so that nothing is showing this time.

   I am so drunk that all I can do is laugh and say
weeeee the whole time I am over his shoulder but I am still a champ, I can take this like a man….err…woman… yeah something like that.

Hiccup

Uh oh! That’s not a good sign. Ryder is thinking the same thing because he sighs and puts me down gently next to the car as he unlocks the doors. 

 
“Faith, babe. If you have to puke let me know and I will pull over. Just don’t puke in the car please. Okay, babe?” He says as he rubs my cheek with his thumb.

  I try to focus on him but I can’t, all I know is that I am in the car and I am tired. I start to nod in and out the last thing I remember is the car starting. The next thing I know I am being carried up my stairs. Ryder opens the front door and I instantly squirm out of his arms and run straight for my bathroom. I throw open the door and stagger as quickly as I can to the toilet, just barely making it before I throw up.

*****

   I wake up in the morning wondering where the fuck I am and how I got here. I feel on the other side of the bed and am happy to realize it is empty. I sit straight up and realize that I am home and in the same clothes I wore last night. I lay back down right away because the room starts to spin and my head is killing! I roll over and let my legs hang off the bed for a second and see a glass of water and 4 Advil sitting there. I grab the pills and pop them in my mouth.

  EWW! My mouth tastes like Guinness and puke. I get up and make my way into my bathroom, good to know that I drunk cleaned my bathroom last night. I brush my teeth and jump in the shower hoping it will make me feel more human.

  After my shower I feel half normal and decide that I want to listen to some music while I get ready for my day. I grab my iPod and put it in the docking station.

I crack it up as loud as I want because I have no neighbors. I start to hear
Imagine Dragons – Radioactive
flow out of the speakers and into my ears. I dance my way to my closet and pull out a blue tank top that says “Mean people suck, Nice people swallow” on the front of it. I have had this shirt for ages and I love it.

I pull out some cut off jean shorts and a pair of white sandals. I have to work so I am not going to get too dressed up. I put on a little bit of light makeup to make the dark circles under my eyes go away and walk out of my bedroom into the kitchen to start coffee.

   “That’s a hell of a way to wake someone up babe, by blaring music! Think you might want to wait till afternoon for that.” Ryder says from in the living room.

    I scream for a second because I am scared shitless that he is still here.
Glad I didn’t walk out naked!

    “What the hell are you still doing here? How did you get in here and how did I get home?” I ask him the questions in a charging order as I prepare the coffee. I am way too hung over for this bullshit. “You know what, never mind. I think I can figure it out and I just want to say thanks.” I said to him without looking right at him.                

Will you ever trust me?

  I walk into the diner and am instantly hit with a glare from
Layla.
What the hell did I do now?
I say to myself as I walk past her and back to the backroom where I clock in. I start to wrap my apron around my waist when she comes with all of her drama.

  “What the hell happened last night? When I got up this morning my car wasn’t back in my garage and when I get here it is parked in the spot for your apartment. Mind telling me what the fuck happened to we are just going to be friends?” She is laying into me; there’s no nice
Layla about her this morning.

   I sigh and start to walk towards the backdoor so I can go outside and smoke really quickly before I start to deal with nasty truckers. “
Layla, come with me and smoke. I am not sure about everything that happened last night. I thought I was going to be able to hold my own but I forgot it has been a while since I have had a drink. Last thing I remember is being in the car and it starting, next thing I know I was awake in my bed with my mouth tasting like someone shit in it. Your brother was sleeping on my couch.”

I stop to take a drag of my smoke. “Guess it’s a good thing you picked a comfy couch.” I start to laugh and I see the roughness start to crack in
Layla’s face. “I woke up in the same damn clothes you put me in yesterday if that makes you feel better about it.”

  She grabs me by surprise and hugs me. “Oh honey, I was so worried. I thought something happened and that he got to you somehow and…” she stops mid-sentence, staring over my shoulder, and I hear someone walk up behind me.

  I turn and see Ryder walking up towards us. I have to say he never comes to the back of the diner. Hmmm, hope everything is okay.

  “Come here and give me a hug
Layla so I don’t have to hunt you down before I start grabbin’ gears.” Ryder reaches over and grabs a hold of his sister and she disappears into him.

  “Ryder, is this your last run? When are you going to stop paying for a debt that has long since been paid? It died with daddy’s death.” I hear
Layla saying to her brother in a kind of hushed tone but I can still hear her, I think she did it on purpose.

   “I have one more after this. Then I am done for good. I think I found something that makes me want to be a different man. I want to see where that goes.” Ryder is not very subtle at all and I can hear everything he says to
Layla, it honestly scares the shit out of me.

He backs up from
Layla, kisses her on the forehead, says that he loves her and will be back in a few days. This feels like I am sending him off to war, it feels like I am never going to see him again. Wow, now I understand what military wives feel like when they send their men off to war. Only difference is this isn’t my man and he isn’t going to war. “Layla, can I get a minute with Faith before I leave?

   “Faith, come here please.” I snap back to the present, walk over to Ryder and sit on the stack of tires next to where he is leaning against the wall. God, he looks amazing. Tan khaki shorts, blue t-shirt with
Ecko stitched on the shoulder and a pair of DC’s on his feet. He looks like a very hunky skateboarder; I could get down with this look because he looks like a tall glass of raw sex.

    I sit there and pull out another smoke and light it up. I tend to smoke a few more when I am stressed or anxious about something. Everything I have been anxious about lately is standing next to me.
Stop thinking about this shit Faith!

    “I have two questions for you and then I have a statement. I expect you to answer these questions, if you’re not comfortable answering then say we can discuss it later but you will answer me. Do you understand me, Faith?” Even with his dominating ways he is drop dead sexy, if anything it makes me ache for him even more.

   I really need to distract myself with something because if I keep thinking like I am it is going to get me into trouble. “Yes, I understand you Ryder. But why so demanding?” I ask out of the corner of my eye not giving him the satisfaction of my whole attention.

  “Because Faith, I asked you the day before our dinner if you wanted me to take you back home to Alabama to see your family. You never answered me and I would like an answer.” He says with a matter of fact tone to his sexy voice.

  “Discuss at a later time. Ryder, to be honest; I really need to give that some thought. Okay?” I say back to him and hope that I don’t hurt his feelings again.

  “That’s fine, thank you for answering. Next thing is
, will you wait for me? Will you be here when I get back? I hope not to be gone long, but if say something happens. Will you wait for me?” I have never seen or heard him like this. I am kind of nervous.

  “Ryder, are you okay? Is something going to happen? Why are you asking me this? You’re going to be fine, you’re going on a normal drop and hook like you said last night at dinner. It’s nothing just a gravy run. Remember?” My body temp just went up by about 10 degrees because; I am full of worry and concern.

   Ryder grabs a hold of my hand and kisses my palm and then on the inside of my wrist and I instantly get goose bumps, “Just tell me that you’ll wait for me.” He asks as he kisses my palm again.

  “Yes, I will wait for you Ryder. I don’t know why; but something tells me that I will wait for you. You’re an asshole and a douche waffle; but I will be here.” I smile at him and try to get him to laugh.

   He gives a little smile and pulls me up to my feet and gives me the biggest hug I think I have ever gotten from anyone. “Thank you Faith. I am so glad that you ran into my life. You give me reason to be a better person. Thank you.”

He holds me so tight that I feel like I could pop in half. I just snuggle in more and inhale his scent. Man, cologne and diesel. Sounds strange but on him it smells amazing!

  “You know I don’t know why you think I am so special because I’m not. I know that you’re just saying those things to make me feel better about myself. But you really don’t need to try and make me feel better about myself anymore.” I tell Ryder while I drop my gaze to the floor.

Ryder lets out a low laugh/growl and stands right in front of me, lifts my chin with his finger then puts hi
s hands on either side of my face
Wow, I don’t think I have ever heard Ryder talk like this
.. He lowers his lips to mine and gently starts to kiss me. He drags his lips over mine as he starts to deepen the kiss a little bit more. I reach up and put my hands on his arms.

He stops kissing me for a second and rests his forehead against mine, he looks into my eyes; “When are you going to start trusting me and trusting what you feel? Think about it while I’m gone Faith. Please, truly think about it.” He kisses me on the end of my nose and then on my forehead and turns to walk back towards the back lot where his truck is parked and running.

   I watch Ryder walk away and I start to think about the little time we have spent together and how close we have gotten. I know I worry about getting hurt again because of Beau, but I don’t know how Layla thinks that Ryder is going to hurt me. Everything he has ever said to me seems pretty legit.

But, I am still not letting my defenses down, if anything Ryder will be a test of my resolve.  Maybe I can have some good times with him without getting too involved?