As I was saying those having independent dependent being have attacking as their way of fighting, loving, winning. Resisting in such of them as I was saying is mostly in them stupid being. This is the natural being in them. This one was so slow always in her attacking that it mostly was resisting in her as it mostly, the attacking being in this one, just was barely in motion.
This one was of the independent dependent kind of them, attacking being was so slow in action that it made of this one a mass that was resisting, that was mostly all stupid being. This one was as I was saying of the independent dependent kind of them. This one started somewhere into action, it all would be slowly wobbling and so make what was attacking being but any one coming against this one would only be feeling it as a mass to stick in and so think it as a mass resisting, really this one was of the independent dependent kind of them, really this one had attacking as a way of fighting, as a way of loving. This one was a whole one because this one was held together by a skin, as I was saying. This one always was a whole one, when this one was a young one, a very young one, an older one, a very old one. This one was like many other men and women, this one was like many many other men and women as having independent dependent being. This one then was like very many other babies when this one was a baby too, this one was like many other children when this one was a child, this one was like many other young men and young women when this one was a young woman, this one was like many other men and women when this one was a woman, this one was like many other old men and old women when this one was an old woman, this one was different from all the others of them for this one had her own skin and so was separated from all the others of them that have or had or will have the same kind of being to make them, they each one of them are different from all the others of them like them for each one, every one, has their own skin that cuts them off from all the other ones and so each one, even of this kind of them, are individual ones, whole ones to themselves and to everyone; this one was like many very many men and women, this one was like all of them that have in them independent dependent being, that have in them anything of independent dependent being. This one then is interesting, knowing this one is then an important thing. I know this one very completely in the whole being of this one. This one is then the simplest form of independent dependent being. Every one having in them anything of independent dependent being is connected with this one then by the being in that one and by the being in this one. This is then now the beginning of really knowing independent dependent being in every one ever having in them any of such being. More and more there will be much description of independent dependent being. More and more I will know more of independent dependent being. More and more there will be more understanding in every one of independent dependent being.
Some have their real being in them in young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be some description of young living in some.
Some have their real being in them in very young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be a little description of very young living in one.
This one, and the one I am now beginning describing is Martha Hersland and this is a little story of the acting in her of her being in her very young living, this one was a very little one then and she was running and she was in the street and it was a muddy one and she had an umbrella that she was dragging and she was crying. “I will throw the umbrella in the mud,” she was saying, she was very little then, she was just beginning her schooling, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud” she said and no one was near her and she was dragging the umbrella and bitterness possessed her, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud” she was saying and nobody heard her, the others had run ahead to get home and they had left her, “I will throw the umbrella in the mud,” and there was desperate anger in her; “I have throwed the umbrella in the mud” burst from her, she had thrown the umbrella in the mud and that was the end of it all in her. She had thrown the umbrella in the mud and no one heard her as it burst from her, “I have throwed the umbrella in the mud,” it was the end of all that to her.
It is very hard telling from any incident, in any one's living what kind of being they have in them. Kinds in being is a subject that is very puzzling. Martha Hersland had independent dependent being but this that I have just been telling might have been in the living of a little one having independent dependent being, might have been in the living of a little one having dependent independent being, might have been in the living of a little one having a mixture in its being. This then was in the living of Martha Hersland when she was a little one but as I was saying it is very hard to know from anything in any one's living the kind of being in them. Slowly some one comes to know the being in some one. Slowly then now every one reading will know all the being in Martha Hersland. This is then a beginning.
Some have the real being in their living in their young living, some do not have it then in them. Now there will be some description of young living in some.
Sometime there will be a history of all young living, feeling, talking, thinking, being. Some have their real being mostly in their young living, some do not have it then at all in them. Later there will be a history of all these, of every one.
There are many ways of making kinds in men and women when they are in their beginning when they are children. They are then each one of them like some others, like some other children, they are each one of them something of themselves then, always somehow a little, some much very much, themselves inside them, each one, and each one are like many other ones, many other children. There are many ways of making kinds in men and women in their beginning, there are many ways of making kinds in children. In each way of making kinds of them there is a different system, a different way of feeling, a different way of thinking them as being resembling one to others of them. Martha Hersland as I was saying was of the independent dependent kind of them. Martha knew in her early living a certain number of children, some I have already been describing, now there will be more history of some, more history of others of them. As I was saying Martha was throwing the umbrella in the mud with angry feeling as she was telling and nobody was hearing. As I was saying no one knowing this as having been Martha's way of acting then when she a little one was filled full of angry feeling, with despairing feeling, with responsible feeling, with frightened feeling, no one then could be very certain of the kind of being Martha had in her. Not any one could know then whether Martha was of the kind of them having attacking as their natural being, the kind of them having resisting as their natural being. Some have their real being in young living, some do not have it then in them. In those having it then strongly in them sometime some one watching them can know it in them. Mostly it is harder to know it in them then in their beginning than in their later young living. Always it is a difficult thing, in some it is almost impossible in their beginning living to know the being in them, in some it is easy then. Now there will be a little description of young living in some.
Knowing a map and then seeing the place and knowing then that the roads actually existing are like the map, to some is always astonishing and always then very gratifying. To some there is the same thing in living and to such a one seeing each one they are knowing as young ones and older ones and very old ones, and seeing them then as having in them the kind of being that hearing others talking, and reading what others have written, makes every one know is the nature of human being knowing this then in every one at each period in them is to some as I was saying astonishing and then gratifying, is to some as I was saying knowing a place after knowing a map of such a place is to some to their feeling an astonishment and then a gratification. This is then always there all their living in some, that is to say these ones come to know in those of them that are of their own generation, not children being, though in some even that is known to them by hearing and reading, in other children around them, they being then children, in some of such of them then there is a self-consciousness then enough to make them know then even when they are children children being, it comes to be more strongly in them then when they are young men and women, it comes to be to them then almost overwhelming as astonishment and gratification in their middle living to find themselves and those of their own age around them looking like men and women in their middle living, acting, living like men and women in their middle living, this is then to them very astonishing, to some it is gratifying, to some of such of them it is terrifying, they are then, they themselves and others around them as they remember their fathers and their mothers when they themselves were children, this is then as I say to many of such of them who have this in them very astonishing, to some very gratifying, to some even terrifying, and there are then all kinds of feeling in between about this thing.
This then, this realising is strongest in men and women of those around them of their own age in living when they themselves are having in them then that living that is to them the thing they have known like a map of living and then they know it in those around them of their own time of living and in themselves then and to many very many it is then astonishing, to some then gratifying, to some then almost terrifying, to some it is overwhelming then to know it really then inside really completely then inside them, that all living is always repeating, that they are like every one else who has or ever has had or ever will have in them middle living, like them in the way they are then in their looks, in their troubles with their health or happiness or working or children. It is to many then overwhelming that they know then that everything they have been hearing or reading about living is true of them, that they are in their middle living, that all those they are knowing of about the same age as they are themselves then are then also in that middle living that they have known always from reading, from seeing, from hearing and that is to many very astonishing, to some who have it in them to love repeating in living very gratifying, to some who are beginning to be a little weary then very satisfying, to many then almost or completely terrifying. This is then there, the understanding of being in middle living in such a one, and then there is in such a one an understanding of men and women they are remembering who were when they knew them in middle living, there is then in such of them a new realisation of every one, for every one must have sometime in them middle living.
There are then many who have sometime in them the feeling I have been describing with a map and seeing the place and knowing then the roads are really existing like the maps of them. This is to very many always each time astonishing.
They are some who have then a feeling of knowing other children, knowing themselves, they themselves being then children, as being like the children they know from reading from hearing people talking about being in children. Mostly every one does not know it in this way, the being in children, many know it only from remembering themselves and others who were around them then, from knowing children, from knowing sometime every one, from having children of their own or from other ones around them having them, from knowing some in their later living whom they remembered as children but did not realise then the being in them. Mostly every one a little sometime in their living realise themselves and others as being like children, like men, like women they have come to know in reading or from hearing about them.
There is then the knowing kinds in men and women from the character in them, the nature in them, the mind, the passion, the way of winning, working, loving, dying, having religion in them, the way of giving and the way of receiving, and the way of taking, and the way of accepting, and the way of escaping in them; there are many ways of knowing kinds in men and women from habits of training, of grammar, of playing and washing and working in them, and doing nothing; there are then many very many ways of knowing kinds in men and women, from prettyness and ugliness in them, from ways of dressing, from all the ways they have of being and then there are ways of knowing men and women as being in their beginning, as babies and children, and then being young grown men and women, and then men and women in their middle living, and then men and women in their ending.
Some find it harder to decide about children what kind of being they have in them, than about men and women as young men and women, than men and women as men and women in their middle living, as men and women in their ending. Some find it harder to know what kind of being they have in them, the women than the men, some find it harder to know what kind of being they have in them the men than the women. Some find it harder to know the being men and women have in them when they are young men and women than at any other time in their living, some find it harder with men and women in their middle living then when the disposition in them is changing to middle living disposition, in many to impatient irritation, some find it harder to know real being in men and women in their ending then when loving, feeling, religion, have queer ways of showing in them, always then some are very confusing sometime to some, mostly every one has some way of making kinds in men and women, mostly every one finds some one sometimes confusing, mostly every one sometime finds some one very confusing not easy then to be certain of the kind of being one has in her or in him, mostly every one comes to a decision sometime about the kind of being in each one, some come very nearly to never deciding about some one, some as I was saying find it harder about children what being they have in them, about men and women when they are beginning than at any other time in their living.
