The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (93 page)

     It happens very often that a man has it in him, that a man does something, that he does it very often that he does many things, when he is a young man when he is an old man, when he is an older man. Some kind of young men do things because they are so good then they want every one to be wise enough to take care of themselves and so they do some things to them. This is very common and these then are very often good enough kind of young men who are very good men in their living. There will soon be a little description of one of them. There are then very many men and there is then from the generalised virtue and concrete action that is from the nature of them that might make one think they were hypocrites in living but they are not although certainly there are in living some men wanting to deceive other men but this is not true of this kind of them. One of such of these kind of them had a little boy and this one, the little son wanted to make a collection of butterflies and beetles and it was all exciting to him and it was all arranged then and then the father said to the son you are certain this is not a cruel thing that you are wanting to be doing, killing things to make collections of them, and the son was very disturbed then and they talked about it together the two of them and more and more they talked about it then and then at last the boy was convinced it was a cruel thing and he said he would not do it and his father said the little boy was a noble boy to give up pleasure when it was a cruel one. The boy went to bed then and then the father when he got up in the early morning saw a wonderfully beautiful moth in the room and he caught him and he killed him and he pinned hint and he woke up his son then and showed it to him and he said to him “see what a good father I am to have caught and killed this one,” the boy was all mixed up inside him and then he said he would go on with his collecting and that was all there was then of discussing and this is a little description of something that happened once and it is very interesting.
     It happens very often that a man has it in him, that he does things, that he does something, that he does many things when he is a young man and an older man and an old man, that he feels always in a way about everything, that he is a good enough man in living, that he is a very good man.
     Some kinds of young men do things with a feeling that they are teaching people to be strong and good ones and to take care of themselves and they are doing something and almost every one would say it was a very wicked thing this thing they are doing and in some it makes of them a very unpleasant person and some of such of them are not the least bit unpleasant ones because they have no mixing between the generalised conception and the concrete action. Many old men do things to keep themselves warm then, when they are old ones and they are needing to be warm then. Some of them are cold then and they need to be warm then and need to be warmed up then, and some are shrunk away from the outside of them then when they are old men and need some one to Oil them and they do concrete actions then and their generalised sensation is keeping warm then, their generalised intention is of keeping warm then and this is all very interesting and always if Alfred Hersland and Mr. Herman Dehning and George Dehning come to be clear ones in this describing always then sometime many will be completely understanding this being I am now understanding, now completely understanding.
     There are very many kinds of men. In each kind of them there are some of them who have it in them to have the being in them so that the concrete things they are doing are very different from the generalised feeling in them of what it is right and decent and good and bad to be doing. There are very many kinds of men, quite a number of kinds of them and of each kind of them there are always very great many millions of them always living and very many millions of them always have the being in them, very many millions of each kind of them that the being in them is so in them that the concrete actions, feelings in them are very different in them from the generalised feelings strongly in them and this is true of many of all the kinds there are of men and these then may be sentimental from this thing, and it may be very simply in them, they may be very unpleasant then from this thing and they may not be unpleasant unpleasant to hardly any one from this thing and this is something that in all the living of every one of them is interesting in them, in all the living of a great many men is interesting to them.
     There are so many of them, each kind of them does it differently from the other kinds of them, each one of a kind of them does it differently from the others of that kind of them and in some it is more in the thinking than the feeling, in some more in acting than in thinking and in feeling, it is a very complete thing to be understanding, each one has in him his own being, each one of them has in him his own way of repeating this thing in him, each one has in him the way of having this in him that his kind of men have it in them. Women have it in them, that will come later in writing.
     It happens then very often that a man has it in him that he does something and that thing is a concrete acting and no one would ever think that man had done that thing and that man is a good man, and he does it very often.
     It happens very often that a man does something and he does it very often and it is an awful shock to him if sometime some one tells it to him and as I was saying one of such of them was a paralytic from being told it by one of his children in his later living and always such a man does a thing and it is a concrete thing and as a man he has many concrete actions in him and these he does very often and in his living, in his feeling a complete generalised sincere feeling always completely him, not a sentimental thing, a real thing in him by which he very often is completely living and he does a concrete thing and does it very often does many of them that have no place in his generalised sincere feeling and sometimes it is told to him and he can be killed then and almost by hearing this thing said of him so strongly is it in him that he is not doing that concrete thing, that he has never done that thing. These then this kind of them are not self-righteous men who think the way they do things should be the way of all men, they are not men like those I was describing who make an ideal out of the weakness in them, they are the men they very ordinary men who have it in them to believe that that they have inside them in their living in their feeling in their thinking what all good decent men have in them in their thinking, in their living, in their feeling and this is a generalised conviction of themselves to themselves always in them, all their living, and they see themselves in their living, and their being and their thinking, in their feeling as good enough men, good enough fathers, good enough husbands, good enough citizens, and always they are seeing themselves as each of them and so they see all of their concrete actions and sometimes and very often they are doing something, that thing they do very often and that thing is a thing not any man who is a good enough man would be doing and mostly a very great many of them of these who are to themselves completely good enough men are very very often doing such a thing and it is to them when they are young ones and a little older ones that they are doing it to be instructing to others so that other ones will know something and when they are older ones they do it then because in their realler feeling they know things are not so important as they once were thinking they were to them and every one, and then when they are old ones they need any way there is that can warm them and always to themselves they are the generalised good enough men and always then they are doing very often a thing somethings that are not included in such a generalisation and then sometimes it is told to them, it comes to them, very many never have it brought in to them a very great many of them, some of them have it brought in to them and some of such of them have their lives broken are made sick men then and all this is very common, this is the being in very many millions of every kind of men and this is interesting and this is soon to be a history of Alfred Hersland and his connection with the family of Mr. Henry Dehning.
     It is very perplexing the generalised conception which is of virtue in many men and many women and the concrete feeling that is not of virtue in them. This is perplexing, one comes then to understand this thing as a complete thing and then always it is a shock to that one as in living cases of this always are being thrust upon that one. Some one builds up convictions from some other one, some know then that they do not believe that thing and some do it then because it is a pleasant thing, some do it to please some one, some begin to believe it and then they lose it and they don't say anything, some begin not to believe and then they come when they are older ones to believe what they began with as not believing but saying it to please some one, very many then in very many ways have other ones convictions come to be the determining frame for them, some believing it then, some who are not believing it then, very many who do not know then whether they do or do not believe that thing. This is a common thing, very many men do it, very many men do it because they are in it, very many men do it, for very many women, for some women, very many men do it for men and for women, and for other women, and for children, very many do it for very many, very many do it for some, very many do it for some one, very many do it for themselves in their living. There are very many women there are very many men who are always saying if they had their life to live again they would live a different one, they would learn very many things, they would do serious reading. There are very many who always are going to be doing more serious reading, more staying at home of an evening.
     It is certain that many men and many women, very many of them have a generalised conception of being which is them and concrete feeling and acting in them that is very often, sometimes always in them that is a very different thing to others from them in them to them.
     Sensitiveness, measure, kinds in men and women, cowardice and courage, kinds of sensitiveness in them, originality and personality in them, generalised and concrete feelings and thinkings and activities in them this is all really very enormously interesting.
     Every one, every kind of one, they are there living, each one having in him, each one having in her, each one having their own being, every one, every kind of one. I am realising the whole of human being. They are all each one of them themselves inside them, each one is of a kind in men and women. Each one is a whole one, each one has all there is of their own being sometime in them, each one always is repeating the being of them, always, and all of them are each one of them themselves each one, their own selves in them and always each one is of a kind of them and always more and more in every kind of living, in every kind of country, climate, civilization, always always there are the kinds of them the same kinds of them and some of each kind of them are very strong ones, and some are very weak ones, and some of each kind of them are in some kinds of ways leaders and some of each kind of them are mostly always following, and always each one of them have their own being in them and some of each kind of them are very good ones, some good enough ones, some pretty good ones, some pretty bad ones, some of each kind of them are very bad ones and always each kind of them have their own way of thinking, feeling, loving, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, fighting, pleasing, disliking, beginning and ending. Often there are very much mixings of kinds of them in very many of them but always there are very many of each kind of them pretty completely only their kind of them and some kinds of them I know very well in living, some I don't know so quite completely in them the being in them, some I am only beginning knowing, very many kinds of them are to me now then very puzzling, and always always always, there are the same kinds of them having in them their way of eating, drinking, sleeping, loving, hating, wakening, understanding, sensitiveness in realising anything, realising something, dullness, stupid being in them, quickness and slowness in them, suffering, enduring, quarrelling, agreeing, everything, in them everything, there are then these certain kinds in men in women and always then they are existing and there are very very very many men and very very very very many women always existing, each one having their own being in them and there are then a number of kinds of them but not such a great many kinds of them and sometime there will surely then be written a complete description of all the kinds there are of men and women.
     There are then kinds in men and women. Some of each of the kinds of being there are existing have it in them that they have very greatly sensitiveness in realising, of their kind of being. Some of each kind of them have almost nothing in them of the kind of sensitiveness in realising of their kind of them and some of such of them, not having in them any sensitive realising of their kind of them can have it in them very excellent thinking, very solid fighting of their kind of them and many of such of them of such a kind of them are to very many greater men than those having sensitive realising of their kind of them, they are then many of such of them to very many of them that know them geniuses without weakness in them, these then are the very strongest thing that there can be of schoolmen, of followers who to very many are real leaders in living, in thinking, in feeling. George Dehning was such a kind of one and in the history of David Hersland there will be so very much description of every kind of a way men can have their kind of being in them.
     The thing that is the important thing now in this part of the long history of a family's being is the kind of being in Alfred Hersland and in Mr. Henry Dehning. The thing that is the important thing to be understanding is being good in being and in living. To begin then now about being a good one, about all the kinds of ways of being a good one men and women have in them, all the kinds of ways I can think about them now in writing and the funny ways it can come out of many of them.
     Being good in living is something, it is in some way mostly in every one, it is a very peculiar thing sometimes, and sometimes not a very peculiar thing. Being good in living is certainly a very important thing, it is in some way mostly in every one, in some way in very many women and in very many men it makes them what they are in living, it makes very many what they are to every one and to themselves in all their living. Being in some ways a good one is very common, it is a very common thing, it is in some way in very many men and in very many women.