The Mechanics of Being Human (4 page)

Fawn and Delanee stood in the middle of a store surrounded by clothes. All of the clothes were different, unlike what she'd seen in other shops. As Fawn picked through bright orange shirts and grabbed a price tag, she saw the tangerine cardigan was two dollars and fifty cents. When she rubbed the material between her fingers, she felt the shirt was silk. The smell of something musty filled her nostrils, but she ignored it.

As Fawn held the shirt between her fingers, she realized one of the buttons on the top was broken. She fingered the threads with a frown. She was surprised a store would sell a shirt with a broken button.

"You want that, Fawn?" Her mom smiled and grabbed the price tag.

"The button is broken." Fawn pointed at the forest of threads sticking out of the shirt, searching for their lost attachment.

"The old owner probably broke it." Her mom took the cardigan off of the rack, then held it against Fawn. "It would still look okay, though. This color is definitely interesting."

Fawn glanced around the store with new eyes. She realized why the buttons on the shirt were broken and why all of the sofas and fat arm chairs in the corner were covered in odd stains. Even the store smelled dusty. It reminded her of the basement and of Jax, who was never much good at cleaning. The thought made her go rigid. How did she know Jax was not good at cleaning? The image of a dust-covered house came to mind. Books were stacked to the ceiling, covered in a dirt veil. Pans made mountains in the kitchen sink. Questionable brown scum was stuck to the ivy green sofa. A back window revealed the neighbor's house across from a small river. A few tall trees speckled the lawn, reaching toward the sun.

"Fawn, are you all right?" her mom asked, ripping her from her thoughts.

"Yes, I am." Fawn glanced back at the cardigan. She wondered if bringing up Jax would make her mom uncomfortable. Still she needed to ask. "Mom, did I spend a lot of time with Jax before I lost my memory?"

Her mom let out a shaky breath and she looked around a million miles per hour. Her hands trembled against her massive, heaving chest. "Well, you did spend quite a bit of time with him."

"I did?" Fawn frowned. "But I thought you lived in Nevada before this. Wouldn't that have meant we were far away from each other?"

"You spent summers with him," her mom said quickly. "Oliver loves his brother. As crazy as he is, he's a brilliant man. Oliver thought it might rub off on you."

"What does he do?" Burning desire to learn more danced around Fawn's head. Her mom bit her bottom lip.

"An inventor." Redness covered her mom's cheeks for reasons Fawn didn't understand. "A brilliant inventor."

"An inventor…"

Somehow that felt right to Fawn. Jax the inventor. As she stared down at her hands, imagining her time with him, her mom grabbed her arm in a fat fist. She glanced up and saw her mom's eyes were wide with concern.

"Let's go." Her mom glanced at the cash registers at the front. Lines of people led up to them. "You have enough clothes to last you awhile. Let's head out for lunch and I'll get you your special fluid. We don't want you shutting down on us, right?"

Fawn shook her head.

****

When Fawn stood at the checkout line with her mom, she saw a man in a dark suit linger outside of the clear glass windows of the store. The man's skin was tan and his eyes were chocolate brown. He gazed at her for just a moment. Fawn shivered and bumped into her mom by mistake. Her mom gazed at her with concern.

"You all right?" Her mom looked around too.

Fawn glanced out the windows of the store, but she didn't see anyone. The man disappeared. Though Fawn instantly thought of the man she'd seen outside of the apartment building who disappeared like smoke in the wind, she shook her head. No. It couldn't have been the same person. It was highly improbable. What would he be doing here?

"No." Fawn forced herself to relax. It was probably just some man finishing his shopping. No reason for her to be concerned. "Everything is fine."

****

When Fawn climbed up the steps behind her mom, she heard the sound of a panicked, garbled voice in the hall. The voice sounded young but was still deep. When she clambered up the last step, she looked over her mom's shoulder and saw a tall boy with muscular arms and wide shoulders. His cell phone was pressed to his ear. His blue eyes were wide with worry, and he kept running his long hands through his curly, shaggy blond hair. There was something familiar about the boy. That was when Fawn realized who he looked like. He looked just like Remy. Their mouths were wide and their lashes were thick. Fawn knew this must have been the nephew Remy had spoken of named Gavin.

As Fawn hovered, worried about the panicked edge to Gavin's voice as he spoke, her mom cast him a concerned glance then walked over to their door. When she inserted the key into the hole, Gavin locked eyes with Fawn then glanced at her mom.

"Hold on a second, Rem." Gavin glanced at Fawn with a frown. "I think the girl you talked about is here. Maybe she can help."

Gavin lowered the phone from his ear then stepped toward Fawn. Her mom moved in front of her, her own personal pumpkin guard. The boy froze.

"Mom, it's all right," Fawn said, pushing at her plump arm. "I know Remy, his aunt."

"You do?" Her mom eyeballed Fawn suspiciously like it was a dangerous thing to get involved with aunts.

"She's the woman with the twins I met at the park," Fawn said. "Remember I told you about her?"

"Oh." Her mom cast an accusing glance at Gavin. "Okay, then. Make it fast, Fawn."

After tossing Fawn one last concerned glance, her mom finished unlocking the door and stepped inside. Fawn hovered in the hallway, gazing into Gavin's face with concern. Even with the burning curiosity and anxiety within her, she couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was with his thick eyelashes, blond curls, and pale, freckled skin.

"Sorry about scaring your mom." He tousled his hair again, making her wonder whether he liked it as messy as possible. "I'm having a family emergency here. My aunt works as a hairdresser on Maple Creek Road. She slipped and fell and broke her leg. She just went to the hospital. You know the twins, right?"

She nodded, her mouth wide open in horror. Poor Remy. She imagined the spirited woman from yesterday with her leg splinted up in a cold hospital room. Though her dad was a doctor, the idea of being in a hospital made her shiver.

"Well, they're both asleep right now inside. I could wake them up to go to my aunt, but it will be hard keeping track of them while at the hospital. They'll both be cranky and tired. I wasn't sure what to do." Gavin shook his head. "Remy said she met you yesterday and the girls love you. I tried to knock on your door a couple of minutes ago, but you weren't home. I know this would put you out, but is there any way I could ask you to look after the girls while they're sleeping? You can watch TV, eat all our food. I don't care. I just need somebody's help."

With a frown, Fawn glanced at the door then back at Gavin. She nodded. A big grin lit up his face and his eyes twinkled. Dimples appeared on his rosy cheeks. Without a moment's hesitation, he yanked her into a bone crushing hug which caused her to gasp. In his embrace, she smelled the scent of sweet but musky cologne. She would have inhaled all day if it wasn't inappropriate to sniff people.

When Fawn stepped away, Gavin put the phone to his ear. "She says she'll do it. I'll get her situated then call you back...Love you too. Bye, Remy."

After Gavin hung up the phone, he smiled at Fawn in relief again. She grinned back.

"You have no idea how thankful I am you're doing this." Gavin squeezed her shoulder. The place where he touched tingled. "This is such a disaster. I have no idea how we're going to function with my aunt having a broken leg."

"I'm sorry." Fawn hung her head. Her stomach sunk at the thought of the kind woman being hurt.

"We'll work it out." He shook his head in defeat. "She made it work when my mom sent me here, and she'll work it out now. Do you want to tell your mom what's going on before I bring you to my apartment? I'm ninety-nine percent sure she wants to kill me."

"I don't know why she's being so overprotective." She groaned.

"It's cool." Gavin shrugged. "It means she loves you. I can respect that. When she doesn't worry at all is when you should be concerned. Remy acts the same way sometimes. I'll tell you what. After you explain, why don't you come into the apartment and I'll show you where Felicity and Candace are."

After Fawn nodded, Gavin beamed at her again. His teeth were a perfect, gleaming white. Even as he grinned, revealing his perfect dimples, she could see his smile didn't reach his eyes. His blue orbs were a churning sea of worry. She knew he must be hiding deep emotions and deep fears. Just like her. Suddenly, Fawn felt more of a kinship with Gavin than ever before. For the first time, she realized she wasn't the only one who wore a mask to conceal the deep pain in her heart.

Fawn sat on the couch watching TV with her legs tucked underneath her. The couch was old and grey. The apartment was musty like the used clothes store. The kitchen, which connected with the living room, appeared as though it had endured a massive explosion. A plastic box of cookies sat on a plate by the sink, and the phone next to it was smeared with frosting. A pizza crust coated with dark red sauce lay on the counter. A bag of mozzarella cheese sat next to the oven.
I guess it must have come as a shock his aunt broke her leg. I wonder if I should help him put this away. It will give him less to worry about when he gets home. I want to be helpful to him and Remy.

Shrugging, Fawn went to the kitchen. She picked up the cheese and stared at it questionably. It was warm. Cheese. Where did cheese go? An image of the refrigerator flashed in her mind. Frowning, Fawn opened the fridge, revealing yogurts, milk, eggs, and lettuce. She placed the cheese inside on the top shelf, since there didn't appear to be much of a scheme besides catastrophe. She glanced back at the pizza crust. Maybe she would leave that because she was unsure of whether Gavin wanted her to throw it away.

She headed over to the massive mountain of dishes in the sink covered in sticky orange goop and remnants of noodles. As she gazed at the mess, she thought of her own life. Her life was like those dishes—chaotic. She tore her eyes away from the dirty dishes and focused on the plate of cookies next to them.
All I can have is that black liquid.
Despite that, there was something inviting about those cookies. Maybe she'd liked them during her past life, back before she'd gotten struck down with her odd stomach disease.

Shaking her head, she turned on the hot water like her mom taught her to do at home. As the water ran, she stared at the cookies again.
Gavin said I could steal some of their food, and I don't even know what cookies taste like. I don't think he would be mad if I ate one. Plus, I don't think food can be
that
bad for me. I'm human, after all. I'll probably just get a stomachache.
Guiltily, she glanced over her shoulder. She was here to help with Remy, not steal something. Yet she knew if she was home, her mom and dad would not let her near food. If her mom cooked, she wouldn't let her in the kitchen. It was like her mom feared even the smell of food would harm her.

Fawn placed her hand on the plate of cookies and drew it closer to her. When she picked one up, the smell of vanilla and sugar swarmed. The smell was pleasant but she didn't have any urge to stick the cookie in her mouth. It was just, she wanted so much to try it, to understand what the blank slate in her head refused to reveal when it came to taste.

With a shaking hand, she brought the cookie to her lips. At first she expected something, anything, to explain what everybody else called delicious flavor. She didn't have a sense of that as she chewed the cookie. It was overly sweet and disgusting in chalky consistency. The cookie was no longer attractive. She didn't like it any more than the black ooze.

When Fawn swallowed, her throat burned. She dropped the cookie on the floor where it scattered into thousands of pieces. With a gasp, she fell to her knees, grasping her throat.
No. Something is wrong. It hurts.
Like the flickering of a broken television, her vision came in flashes. Her movements became jerky. It was like something kept repeatedly blocking her brain's messages. The need to call her mom grew so strong it was just as choking as the cookie.

For the first time, she realized the stupidity of her actions. The girls. She'd been asked to care of the girls. Now they were in danger because she couldn't care for them. She struggled to her feet, each movement slower and jerkier than the last, then reached for the telephone. She tried to remember the number for home. Yesterday she could remember it easily, but today it was harder than rocket science.

She could do this. With a shudder, she pressed in the first button. The blackness returned, following by her hand freezing. She remembered the second number, then the next and the next. Her body grew cold and immobile. Fear coursed through her in intense, fast waves. Finally, she heard the phone ring and her mom picked up the phone.

"Hello?" her mom asked, sounding annoyed for some reason.

"Mom," Fawn gasped.

"Fawn? You…happened…pain…okay?"

Her mom's words didn't make sense. She couldn't tell what they meant.

"Don't….Fawn….can…move?"

The darkness flashed again. Fawn could hardly remember how to speak and her words came out in short bursts. "Scared. Cookie. Scared. Cookie. Confusion. Alone. Help."

"Fawn….Don't….Coming…"

She heard a dial tone. She dropped the phone and tried to remain upright. She attempted to grasp the counter, but it was as difficult as carrying a ten thousand pound weight. In the distance, she heard the sound of wood creaking. The door banged repeatedly.

"Fawn….Open…" her mom said.

"Locked…" her dad cried.

Everything went black.

****

When Fawn awoke, she stood in the kitchen in the same position she'd blacked out in. Sitting on the floor in front of her was Felicity and Candy, who gazed up at her in wide-eyed worry. Felicity wept and clutched a pink doll against her chest. Her parents lingered to her right by the stove, gazing at her with open-mouthed concern. With a groan, she ran her hand through her hair. At least she retained her memory. She could remember it all—the flickering vision, the inability to hear or put together words, the fear.
What is the matter with me?

"W-what happened?" Fawn glanced at all of the concerned faces around her.

"You tell me." Her dad shook his head and his fists quivered in anger. "You ate something, Fawn. You know you can't eat anything. It's dangerous. Do you know what you could have done? You may have never have gotten up again and—"

Her mom placed a hand on her dad's quaking arm. "Oliver, calm down. She's all right now. She had her drink and it fixed her."

"But…but…" Her dad stared at her, then glanced back at the floor, brows furrowed. "Fine."

"Dad?" Fawn gazed at him, eyes wide with worry.

Muttering, her dad left the kitchen. She heard the front door click as he left. Guilt mingled with despair and confusion. Her dad was now mad at her, she still didn't understand what happened or what was going on. Now two curious little girls were staring up at her with massive eyes.

"Okay, honey." Her mom wrapped an arm around her waist. "Let's get you over to the couch. I'll help get these two little girls to bed."

"Is Dad mad at me?" Fawn bit her lip. "What happened?"

"We'll talk in a minute." Her mom clapped her hands together. "Girls. Come."

"Do we have to?" Felicity glanced at Fawn with her head cocked. "I want to stay here with Fawn."

"Yeah." Candace rubbed her tired eyes even as her bottom lip stuck out stubbornly.

"
Now
." Her mom pointed at the hallway where the girls' bedroom was.

Both the siblings groaned but, shoulders slumped, formed a parade of defeat and headed toward their bedroom. Her mom followed behind them, clucking her tongue. She leaned against the counter and stared at the remains of the sprinkles on the floor, feeling so discombobulated she had trouble putting her thoughts into coherent order again. She didn't like that her dad was mad at her, and she didn't like that she didn't understand what was going on. Also, she put Felicity and Candace in danger by blacking out. What if her parents hadn't come? Little girls shouldn't be left alone in an apartment.

As Fawn bit her bottom lip and pressed her hand against her aching stomach, the door to the girls' bedroom squeaked. A moment later her mom appeared with her arms crossed over her massive bosom. The two of them locked eyes and Fawn shuffled guiltily again.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Fawn glanced at the mess on the floor. "I just wanted to know what it felt like to eat something the way everybody else does. They all looked like they enjoy eating so much, and I thought, 'What is one bite going to hurt?' The next thing I knew, I could hardly see or move. It was like I suffered a brain glitch."

"I can understand your curiosity." Her mom uncrossed her arms. "You just have to promise you won't ever,
ever
do that again. That bite could have killed you. It could have caused your system to shut down. There's a reason why your father and I are so adamant about you drinking your special supplement."

"Is Dad furious with me?" Fawn wrung her hands. Nobody'd ever been mad at her before. At least, not as far as she could remember.

Her mom walked into the kitchen. After grabbing Fawn's shoulder, she gently balanced her warm forehead against Fawn's. The two of them stared at each other, eye to eye. She was overwhelmed by a sweet, fruity scent yet again.

"Your dad is just concerned for you," her mom whispered. "He was so scared you weren't going to wake up again. I was scared too. I think people just show their feelings in different ways. Your dad doesn't cry or babble, but he gets mad. He just wants to protect you."

"Will he still talk to me?" Fawn asked. "Nobody has ever been mad at me before."

"Oh, honey." Her mom drew her into a tight hug. "Of course he will. Tomorrow he's going to be back to normal. You'll see. He just needs some breathing room."

This time, as Fawn was embraced by her mom, warmth and hope defeated the confusion which previously raged in her heart. Her mom made her feel like everything was going to be okay. Maybe she was still confused, but at least now she wasn't alone. Maybe she'd never been. She buried her face in her mom's plump shoulder and wondered whether she used to hug her mom like this.

"Mom?" Fawn asked. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course I'd come." Though Fawn couldn't see her mom's face, she could hear the smile in her voice. "But you should thank those two little girls. They heard the ruckus Oliver and I were making and opened the door for us. They were quiet the whole time your dad was helping you."

"Mmm." Fawn sighed. "I think my career as a babysitter is over."

"I wouldn't say that." Her mom stepped back and patted her cheek. "There are plenty more kids in the world, and you're a sweet, sweet girl. Just don't eat any more food, okay?"

"Okay." Fawn winced. "I'll try not to."

"That's my good girl." Her mom headed toward the living room. "Then why don't you and I clean up until our neighbors get home, okay? I think I have some explaining to do."

The guilty feeling returned. Her mom shouldn't have to deal with her mess.

"Mom, I can talk to them," Fawn said.

"I know you can." Her mom smiled at her. "But it's a parent's job to help her kid out when she needs it. Now why don't you see if you can find me a broom? Let's make sure their kitchen is clean when they get back."