The Millionaire's Redemption (21 page)

This would be the welcome home to end all welcome homes. She wanted to show him how good family life could be. He would never offer marriage; she’d resigned herself to that. A permanent commitment would be the best she could expect, but she would happily accept it.

He was capable of caring, if he would only tear down the barricades he had erected around his heart. He didn’t want commitment because he feared getting hurt, like she did. Where they differed was that she was prepared to take a risk to find happiness again, and he wasn’t.

I’ll change that, she vowed fiercely. Once you come back and see what Lilly and I have to offer, you’ll realize we all need each other.

Fired with the knowledge she would make this homecoming unforgettable, she let her heart rule her head. She bought several colorful-helium filled balloons with the words ‘Welcome Home’ painted on them along with a decadent, cream-filled, chocolate cake decorated with fudge icing and whole strawberries. She also picked up a bottle of imported French champagne to go with their special treat after Lilly went to bed.

The cozy little alcove leading on to the balcony would be perfect for her plans. They could take the quilt and pillows off the spare bed for their little love nest. Her skin tingled. The butterflies in her stomach turned cartwheels. In about eight hours Justin would be home.

She filled the stroller up with her purchases and Lilly toddled along beside it. Her baby legs were growing stronger every day. She had gained a couple of inches in height since they moved in with Justin. Her hair, still snowy white, had grown thicker and started to curl now.

Holly went through the apartment like a tornado, cleaning everything. When Lilly went down for a nap she prepared their love nest. She had bought a small coffee table at a secondhand shop a couple of days after Justin left for
Sydney
. Covering it with a white cloth, she laid out red serviettes and silver dessertspoons. She let the balloons loose, and they drifted to the ceiling, hanging there like kites with long trailing multi-colored ribbons.

Making sure she fastened the door, she started on the dinner preparations. Her excitement escalated. She was behaving like a child awaiting a long-promised treat but couldn’t help it. Justin would be here soon.

She suddenly thought of the young soldier lying in his cold English grave, and goose bumps broke out on her arms.

“I have to go on living, Robbie,” she whispered in anguish. “Justin is fond of Lilly. He can make both of us happy. I promise. I swear on the love we shared, your baby will never forget you. She’ll grow up knowing what a gallant soldier you were and how much you loved both of us.

Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. “Apart from you, Justin is the only man I could ever love,” she whispered. “This is my one chance to find happiness again. I know you haven’t been dead long. I should wait what your mother would call a decent interval, but if I don’t grasp this chance now, it will slip through my fingers, and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.”

She was wracked with guilt and self-doubt, punishing herself for something beyond her control. A sudden shaft of sunlight fell on to her face through the kitchen window, bringing warmth back into her cold cheeks.

By eight o’clock, Justin still hadn’t arrived. She rang the airport to check for any flight delays. There were none. Nine o’clock and still no word. The lovingly, prepared meal was ruined.

She scraped the food into the rubbish disposal unit and cleaned up the kitchen, her worry soon giving way to anger. Grabbing the phone, she dialed his mobile. It rang and rang something unusual in itself. He always answered straight away.

“Devereux,” he barked into his phone.

“Where are you?”  She could hear music in the background.

“I’m still in
Sydney
. I’ve been delayed.”

“Really? And you couldn’t let me know?” Icy fury froze her previous anxiety into a block of ice. She sank to her knees and knelt on the floor. Her hand wobbled so much she clutched the phone tightly to keep hold of it.

“Sorry, I haven’t had a minute to spare. I didn’t realize it was so late.” He didn’t have any true regrets, she realized with a bitter shaft of pain. He didn’t care enough to be sorry.

She knew for certain now they had no future together. He only wanted her for sex, and by his code, she had been well compensated. He owed her nothing. Not even respect.

She went to bed simply because there was nothing else to do. Her emotions were frozen solid with grief and pain.

***

Holly decided the next morning on the spur of the moment to see Dr. Grogan the lady doctor who had
treated
her so well when she was pregnant with Lilly. She had been feeling depressed and sickly on and off over the last few weeks but ignored it. With Justin’s continued absence, her symptoms seemed to be getting worse. She probably needed a course of Vitamin pills. The doctor could check up on Lilly’s immunization program at the same time. They caught the train to the doctor’s surgery in Flemington, not far from old Mrs. Harris’ house.

“Good morning, Holly,” Dr Grogan greeted her with a smile. “Nice to see you again, Mrs. Harris told me you were back from
England
. Sorry to hear about your husband.”

“Thank you.”

“Ah, so this is Lilly. She’s grown since I last saw her.”

“I came about Lilly’s immunization, I think she’s due for another injection.” She handed over the immunization card from
England
.

Dr Grogan perused the records. “No, she’s not due for another six weeks. What about you, dear, you’re looking rather drawn and washed out?”

“I have been feeling out of sorts lately. I’m still breastfeeding Lilly a couple of times a day. I thought I might have got a period by now, but I haven’t.”

“Hop up on the examination couch. I’ll have a feel around to see what’s what. Have you heard from Mrs. Harris since she moved?”

“Yes, I wrote to her when I shifted to give her my new address. She sent me back a postcard. She loves it in
Queensland
, said she should have shifted up there years ago.”

“Good, I’m glad everything has worked out well for her. She nursed her husband for many years before he died. She had quite a hard time of it.”

Dr. Grogan took Holly’s blood pressure then felt her stomach. “Your blood pressure is normal. No chance you could be pregnant?”

“Pregnant?” Holly’s blood ran cold. “I have been in, um a relationship, but I got an IUD fitted in
England
.” Oh, God, please not this, not after everything else.

“They have been known to fall out.”

Holly lay on her back and drew up her knees, ready for the internal examination. She heard the snap of the doctor’s surgical gloves above the frantic pounding of her own heart.

“Well, my dear, I’d say you are at least four months pregnant,” she said after a thorough examination.

A roaring sound almost fractured Holly’s eardrums. She hadn’t heard right. Of course she hadn’t. She took several rasping breaths and grabbed the edge of the examination couch. Dr. Grogan had made a terrible mistake.

“I’ll send you for an ultrasound to check your due date.”

“Y...You couldn’t be wrong?” Holly stuttered. “I mean, it couldn’t be anything else?”

“No, given the clinical picture and my examination, I’m 99.9% sure you’re pregnant.”

“No! No!” Holly shoved a hand across her mouth to smother the screams.

“What about the father?”

“Justin will be furious…”  A baby wasn’t part of their deal. Four months pregnant. She must have conceived almost immediately.

“I’m afraid he’ll have to grin and bear it. Responsible men accept these things after the initial shock wears off, make doting fathers most of them.”

Not Justin, Holly thought with despair. He would believe she did it on purpose to trap him into something permanent or to bleed money out of him.

How could she speak without going into hysterics? “Will you deliver the baby for me?”

“Sorry, I’m not doing obstetrics any more. The litigation risk is too high for GPs like me. I’ll refer you to a good maternity hospital.”

“Thanks.” Holly forced herself to speak calmly. In reality she wanted to throw herself down on the floor to scream and kick like some tantrum throwing two-year old, but she didn’t have the luxury. Would never have a luxury of any kind now with two babies to bring up on her own.

She trembled with the effort to keep her emotions under control until she left the surgery and struggled out into the street. Even then, she could only slump against the stroller and take in deep shuddering breaths. If there had been something suitable nearby, she would have kicked it. Kicked it until she had no strength left, or the bones in her foot snapped.

She ran on automatic pilot now. Get back to the apartment. Have a lie down. Gather your wits. Put one foot after the other. It’s easy, like soldiers on a route march. Left, right, left.

By some miracle, she managed to get back to the apartment without falling apart. She all but staggered into the elevator, and it whizzed up to the fiftieth floor with such speed, her stomach remained in the foyer.

The moment she entered the apartment and the door clicked shut, she sprinted to the bathroom and vomited in the toilet bowl. She dragged a trembling hand across her forehead. No surprise. It was drenched with perspiration.

She lifted Lilly out of the stroller, changed her nappy, crawled into bed and gave the baby her breast. “Go to sleep darling, please, I need time to think about what’s best for us.”

Holly lay staring at the ceiling. Except for Robbie’s death, this would have to be her darkest hour. The instinct for survival kicked in, her brain started functioning, taking control of her shattered emotions.

Tomorrow, if they could find accommodation, they would leave this apartment never to return. Justin wouldn’t help her voluntarily. If she took him to court and sued for child maintenance, she could risk losing Lilly if he turned nasty and joined forces with the Kirwans. He would be a ruthless enemy. No use deluding herself on that point. He hadn’t got to be a multi-millionaire by playing Mr. Nice Guy.

Her finances weren’t in such a perilous state any more. She hadn’t withdrawn any money out of the bank since moving in with Justin, so the pension money would have built up over the past few months.

A place to live would be their main priority. Could they possibly return to the bungalow?  No point ringing the real estate people now. She couldn’t speak without crying, and she didn’t want to sound like some desperate neurotic. One more day wouldn’t make much difference.

Having made a positive decision, something she wouldn’t have been capable of doing a few weeks ago, she felt composed. Liar. Numb, dead, and emotionally frozen were more accurate descriptions.

Common sense should have warned her about hoping for a future with Justin. Millionaires didn’t take up with poor young widows with a dependant child. Oh, Holly Kirwan was good enough for a few months of free sex, well not exactly free, but the costs were minimal for a man as wealthy as him. A mercenary woman would have bled him for gold or diamonds. Pointless to delude herself, if Justin found out about this baby, she would be given her marching orders quick smart. Better to leave now and avoid a nasty confrontation.

Chapter Fifteen

Holly woke up next morning feeling like death, but she somehow managed to bathe, dress and feed herself and Lilly. The human spirit must be a wondrous thing. She drummed her fingers on the kitchen table while she waited for nine o’clock to arrive.

“Please God, let the bungalow still be available.” She sent up a desperate prayer. “You’ve taken everything else of value away from me except Lilly.”

Keep calm, she told herself as she dialed the number with trembling fingers. After she got through to the real estate people, she almost fainted with relief. The bungalow was still vacant.

“My wife and I bought the place,” the real estate man explained. “We’d be happy to rent you the place for a few months on the same conditions as before. We’re thinking of demolishing the house and building a new one. It’s a heritage listed street so we’ve been caught up in a mountain of paperwork. You can move back straight away if you like.”

“Thanks, I will.”
I might be down, but I’m out.

She retrieved Lilly’s pink bag from the closet. They should call it
Old faithful
because it never let them down, not like Justin. It had traveled out from
England
with them and hit Justin on the head. Pity it hadn’t knocked him unconscious, then she might never have gotten mixed up with him, wouldn’t be in this diabolical situation.

After she stuffed Lilly’s things into the bag, she found a couple of plastic shopping bags and filled them up with the clothes she had brought to the apartment.

He wouldn’t be coming after her. He wanted her out of his life full stop – amen – no ifs or buts. Au-revoir - on your bike lady - good riddance and don’t come back. She got the message loud and clear.