The Millionaire's Redemption (22 page)

The phone rang and she dived on it. “Holly Kirwan speaking.”

“I’m Renae, Justin Devereux’s personal assistant in
Sydney
. Mr. Devereux wanted me to let you know he’s been called overseas. He’ll contact you as soon as he can.”

“Thank you for letting me know.”   Slowly, with infinite care, Holly hung up.

The quicker she
left
th
e
apartment and Justin’s influence the better. A quick break was best. No point in prolonging the agony. She wrote a quick note.

Justin, I’ve decided to move out. I’m flying to
Queensland
to stay with Mrs. Harris. Holly

She rang for a taxi, packed up the stroller and took Lilly by the hand to catch the elevator down to the ground floor. Taking a couple of deep shuddering breaths to steady her nerves, she traipsed over to the security desk. John was a nice man, ex-army, and she didn’t want him to worry about her.

“Goodbye, John. I’m shifting to
Queensland
to stay with friends. Thanks for being so kind to me and Lilly.”

“There’s no need for you to leave. You’re quite safe now…”

“I’m not leaving because of that.” She cut him off.

“Why don’t you wait until Mr. Devereux gets back?”

“No, it’s easier if I go now.”

She turned and walked away so he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. The wheels of Lilly’s stroller squeaked loudly, as if screaming in protest, as she left the building.

Less than two hours later, Holly had picked up the key from the real estate office and was sitting down at her old table sipping a cup of tea.

No-one had been in the place. It looked the same as she had left it, down to the long-life milk, tins of baked beans and Lilly’s baby food that she had left behind in their frantic dash for freedom. She wouldn’t need to go shopping for a few days unless she wanted bread, and right now, she wouldn’t care if she never ate again.

***

Justin arrived back at the apartment via his private entrance so he wouldn’t be delayed down in the foyer. He desperately wanted to see
his girls
. Five weeks, and he couldn’t believe how desperately he had missed Holly’s soft warmth and Lilly’s sweet baby perfume and cute ways. He had rushed straight from the airport after flying in from
Turkey
. Wearily he ran his hand across his bristly chin. A shower and a shave were a necessity before taking Holly to bed and making wild passionate love to her. His groin tightened in anticipation.

He had bought Lilly several new toys so she could sit in the cot and play with them while he assuaged the sexual hunger built up over weeks of abstinence.

No doubt Holly would be upset because he hadn’t called her from overseas, but he had been visiting isolated places with poor mobile phone reception, and combined with the time lag and his tight schedule, it proved too much of a hassle after his few attempts to call her had failed.
You’re a selfish bastard.
He could have asked his PA to ring her now and again, but one he got involved in an interesting, challenging project he forgot everything else. Hell, it wasn’t as if he was on holiday. A five-star European-style resort overlooking the
Aegean Sea
couldn’t fail to be a winner.

A tropical island holiday at a child-friendly resort, like all women, Holly wouldn’t be able to resist such a bribe. Hell, he’d offer to buy the whole island, if that’s what it took to get back in her good books.

He swiped his security card and entered the apartment. A stony silence bore down on him. He shivered. The place felt cold, as if all the warmth had been sucked out of it. Fear clenched his gut.

“Holly.” He dumped his bag on the floor and raced into the bedroom. It was empty, the bed made up, nothing left lying around. His heart dropped to his boots with a thickening thud. She was gone. Instinctively, he knew this even before he rummaged through the wardrobe and noticed Lilly’s pink bag missing.

It didn’t stop him from dashing into the child’s room. The toys were all in the cot, except for a handful, including her Winnie the Pooh bear.

Why the hell had she left? He cursed under his breath. He should have made more of an effort to ring, but he had been petrified of getting in too deep with her. Had wanted a cooling off period to think things through. The joke was on him, though. He was in so deep he couldn’t climb out. Didn’t want to climb out.

In the kitchen, he noticed the floral motifs had been removed from the refrigerator. The colorful leadlight mobiles dangling from the ceiling were gone as well. No flowers. Nothing to show that Holly had ever stayed here.

He snatched up the note lying on the bench. When he read the brief words, he felt like someone had stabbed him through the heart.

Had she found someone else? He staggered over to a chair and slumped in it. Who the hell would she have cottoned on to? When? How? 

No wonder Brad had been gutted when his wife had betrayed and bankrupted him. At least Holly didn’t try to bleed him for every cent he had.

He rolled the note up in a ball and hurled it at the kitchen window. Bloody hell.

Justin alighted from the lift and strode towards the security counter.

“John, do you know where Holly went?” What if she had met with an accident? His stomach churned just thinking about it.

“Not really. Said she was going to stay with a friend in
Queensland
. I watched her get into a taxi, and haven’t seen her since.”

“Thanks, that’s all I wanted to know.”

Thank God they were going somewhere safe. Mrs. Harris was a kindly old lady with a soft spot for Holly and Lilly. She would make sure they came to no harm.

When he walked through the door of his apartment, the coldness assailed him once more. Not a physical coldness, the central heating saw to that. It was a bleak emptiness that seeped into his bones, making him shiver. Loosening his tie, he undid the top two buttons on his shirt. Bloody women, they gave a man nothing but trouble and heartache.

Something drew him towards the alcove leading out to the balcony. Holly always said she liked this place best out of the whole apartment. He couldn’t understand why such a cramped little cubbyhole would appeal to anyone.

He pushed the door open and stopped dead. The breath jammed in his throat. A small table had been set up for two people and several colorful balloons hung from the ceiling with ‘Welcome Home,’ written across them. His heart ached. It was a pain like nothing he had ever endured before. Excruciating, so deep he felt as if it had somehow touched his soul.

When Holly mentioned preparing a special meal, he had brushed off her efforts with some caustic rebuke. He didn’t doubt his ability to track her down if he put his mind and resources to it, but he wasn’t going to. He was a bastard, not worthy of her. She and Lilly deserved more than what he could offer them.

He was overwhelmed with remorse for the way he had acted, deliberately making her feel as if she was prostituting herself. It had been a defense mechanism. His inflated ego had been fed by his rampaging libido he thought bitterly. Why had he been too blind to realize he loved her? How or when it happened, he didn’t have a clue, but he had fallen in love with Holly. Lilly too, for that matter. How had he let something so precious slip out of his grasp?

There would never be another Holly. She was one of a kind. A gutsy little battler who decided to make a life for herself and Lilly without his help. He loved her too much to interfere with her plans or to put obstacles in her way. He had his chance and blew it. The kindest thing he could do for Holly and Lilly was let them stay with Mrs. Harris and start a new life in
Queensland
.

He wanted to weep for what he had lost, but he didn’t know how. The years stretched out in front of him now, lonely and bleak.

Chapter Sixteen

Robert Justin Kirwan
was six days old now.
Fortunately, as a precautionary measure,
Holly
had stockpiled food, long-life milk and disposable nappies in the weeks before the birth.

Organization that was the key. Thank goodness she had plenty of experience with breastfeeding and Robert suckled well. Lilly
was
sooky and clinging, demanding Holly’s attention all the time.

“Mummy isn’t going to leave you again, darling,” she reassured wearily as she fed the baby while Lilly tried to push him out of the way.

“Don’t hit bubby’s head. You might hurt him.” If only she could have stayed in the hospital for
four days instead of two,
her strength
would have
returned
before she came home. As it was now
,
she felt weaker and sicker with each day that passed.

Her breasts ached, as did her stomach, and she could barely keep her eyes open as she finished feeding Robert and changed his nappy.

“Come on, Lilly Pilly, I’ll change your little stinky bum too, then we’ll have a lie down together.”

The baby fell asleep as soon as she tucked him up in his crib. Even though she took Lilly into bed with her for a cuddle, her daughter wriggled and squirmed to such an extent Holly finally let her go. She couldn’t risk getting a kick in the stomach, so she rested in bed while Lilly set about demolishing the place.

She made sure the baby stayed safe by putting his crib on top of a set of high, old-fashioned drawers, well out of Lilly’s reach. Everything in the kitchen and laundry that might endanger a toddler was locked away in a wardrobe, in case she drifted off to sleep.

It was hard trying to stay awake. Her eyes grew heavier with every passing minute, the pains in her stomach worsened until she felt like she was giving birth again. The print in the book she was trying to read blurred to such an extent the words were indecipherable, but it stopped her falling asleep, kept her aware enough to watch Lilly.

After a couple of hours Lilly climbed into bed with her, and they both slept.

Robert’s crying finally woke her. The sleep hadn’t helped much. She felt worse, if that were possible. Her heart pounded, and she took several steadying breaths trying to fight off a panic attack. She couldn’t cope on her own, was crazy to have thought she could, but she must. Her babies’ welfare depended on it.

Dredging strength from God alone knew where, she staggered out of bed and went over to the set of drawers. It took a lot of energy to reach up and lift the baby out of his crib.

“It’s all right, darling, don’t fret. Mummy’s here.” She patted his soft dark hair. His little face was red and screwed up from screaming. How long had he been crying?

Her eyes filled with tears as she fed him. He suckled hungrily. The bedroom was a mess. Lilly had emptied several drawers, and clothes were strewn all over the floor. It was cold because she had been too frightened to light the gas fire in case she fell asleep and Lilly burned herself on it.

Their position had become diabolical now, but tomorrow would be better. She would feel stronger by then, more able to cope.

Listlessly, she made herself a cup of tea and heated up a can of baked beans. She didn’t want to eat. If she never tasted food again it would be too soon, but she forced herself to swallow. She needed to regain her strength or they wouldn’t survive.

How terrible to be so alone. She almost dialed the emergency number to ask for an ambulance, but she wasn’t sick, just frightened and verging on hysteria because she couldn’t cope on her own.

The welfare people would come and take Lilly and Robert away, palm them off to some foster home. Remember this, Holly Kirwan, when you feel tempted to weaken. Even worse, the Kirwans might try to get Lilly again. They wouldn’t want Robert, the same as they didn’t want her. She couldn’t let it happen, mustn’t let it happen.

Robert woke crying for a morning feed. Such a cute little man, so tiny, innocent and sweet. She loved the feel of him suckling, reveled in his contented little snuffles. After changing his nappy she tucked him back up in the crib and went to take a shower. She wanted to wash her hair. It looked like scraggly rats tails and felt even worse. There wasn’t much time. Once Lilly awoke she would demand breakfast.

Holly felt better after showering. She rugged herself up in a pair of fleecy track pants and windcheater top. It was freezing, the rain hammering against the windows. Cold and miserable. Just the way I feel she thought, trudging over to the gas fire. It wouldn’t light. She tried several times but to no avail. The pilot light had gone out. It was an old fire, ancient like the bungalow and everything in it. Try as she might she couldn’t turn it on. Now what?

The rain grew heavier, pelting against the windows as the wind lifted. She prepared some cereal for breakfast.

The sound of Lilly’s voice calling out interrupted her somber thoughts. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. At least you have a roof over your head, food to eat and warm clothing.

“Hello, Lilly Pilly.” Holly shuffled into the bedroom to find her daughter jumping up and down on the bed. “Hey, you little monkey, don’t wreck the mattress. We have to sleep on it. Your cereal is ready.”