The Price of Falling (39 page)

We never usually touched in public, I think we were both still too shy but in here it didn't matter.

It was like another world.

I could hear Ryan and the others before I could see them, and headed over to their table. Ryan spotted us and got up to wave.

‘Hey, Mike!’

My fingers around Jason's hand curled a little tighter in reflex. Here we go, I thought, approaching their table first. My body was in between them and Jason, like I was subconsciously trying to protect him. They had all gotten up to say hello; Ryan, his boyfriend Marty, our friends Danny and Pete. Sam was there too, with Belinda and Scott from the salon. Our little group.

Usually when I saw them they'd fuss over me. I'd figured that was down to me being 'new'. I'd only slept with Ryan, which was apparently chaste for their crowd. I was pretty sure a few of them all slept together at different times. I didn't even try to keep up.

Tonight, they near pushed me aside to get to Jason. All I could do was watch and hope he didn't get annoyed.

‘Hey there!’ Ryan had pressed to the front to introduce himself. ‘Pleased to meet you,
at last.
We thought Mike was making you up,’ he smirked.

‘Oh my!’ Sam squeezed past and reached his hands up to stroke Jason's hair. ‘I love it, sweetie, you look gorgeous. The things I could do though, you should really let me cut this for you.’

‘Sam's my hair-dresser,’ I explained quickly, noticing the look on Jason's face. His eyes found mine and I could tell he wasn't comfortable.

‘OK, guys,’ I said calmly, moving in to separate them. ‘Shall we sit down?’

I guess the first meeting went as well as it could go. Jason was the shyest I'd ever seen him, a million miles away from the arrogant seventeen year old I had first met. My friends all asked him a load of questions some of which he answered, others he just looked lost.

‘So how did you two meet?’ Belinda asked.

Jason and I looked at each other then. I could feel my cheeks begin to flush.

‘High school,’ he said quietly.

‘Oh!’ Danny exclaimed. ‘Are you high school sweethearts?’

My eyes drifted down; under the table I was holding Jason's hand, hoping it would reassure him. I had felt him squeeze my hand gently. I smiled at him as I squeezed back.

‘That's so romantic,’ Belinda said.

‘It's so romantic I feel nauseous,’ Ryan laughed. ‘So what are you doing now?’

‘Um, nothing,’ Jason answered.

‘He's not been well,’ I told Ryan pointedly, hoping he'd get the hint.

He didn't.

‘Oh yes,’ Ryan said. ‘What was wrong?’

‘Ryan,’
Marty chided, elbowing him.

‘What?’ Ryan defended. ‘I'm only asking...’

Luckily Sam saved the day by stepping in. ‘Are you really doing nothing, sweetie? Because I need a new Saturday boy, and I know I could make you a fabulous hair model.’

Belinda laughed. ‘Just so you know, when he says Saturday boy, he actually means Saturday bitch.’

Sam mocked offence. ‘I do not, Belinda, you lying whore. Am I not the perfect boss?’

Belinda laughed again while Scott made a face and shrugged.

‘I'm wonderful,’ Sam turned back to Jason. ‘Come in and let me play with your hair at least.’

I thanked Sam for his offer and said we'd talk to him later. I assumed Jason would have no interest working in a trendy hair-dresser's but I was wrong.

‘I didn't think you'd like it?’ I asked him when we were back home.

What I meant was, I didn't think he'd like them.

‘I'm bored,’ Jason told me. ‘I need to do something. And I wouldn't mind cutting hair, I guess.’

‘Well, sure, give it a go,’ I agreed reluctantly.

I didn't think Jason would like it. In fact I was a little worried about him being in that environment. Every time I went into Hard Cuts to get my hair done the place just seemed like a pick up joint; the male hair-dressers, the male clients, all incredibly handsome, thrumming with sexual tension and looking for a date.

Jason went for his trial day.

I spent the Saturday by myself, jogging around Central Park to relieve some of the built-up anxiety.

When he got home I was kinda hoping he would tell me it was awful and he hated it. He told me the opposite; he enjoyed it and Sam said he could work there.

‘Oh...well, good,’ I said, trying not to panic.

He seemed pleased about it, and that did make me happy. When he came to sit with me and I kissed him my worries ebbed away a little. I went to push my fingers into his hair like I usually did, suddenly finding one side didn't have soft hair, but something else.

‘What's that?’ I asked, pulling back.

Jason smiled. ‘Sam did it,’ he said, using his hands to push his hair over to the side, showing me what looked like a pattern on his head. They'd shaved off one side of hair and painted leopard spots on the short fuzz left. I brushed my fingers back and forth over the short hair; it felt baby soft but would take some getting used to.

‘What do you think?’ he asked.

‘Um, it's...different,’ I admitted.

‘Sam said he'll teach me how to do things,’ Jason smiled. ‘He told me to do your hair while you're asleep, put more high-lights in.’

I smiled back. ‘Yes, I'm sure he did. OK, then. As long as you're happy.’

I put my worries aside and tried to be supportive. After a relatively short time Jason started working at the salon week days instead. At least that meant we had the weekends together.

In September it was my birthday. We went out for dinner at a bar and grill; I said I wanted to go somewhere relaxed to eat. I didn't want to have to dress up and make Jason feel uneasy. I went with him to meet the others. Alicia and Will came too.

This year I really did feel like I had it all; friends, family, and the most important person in my life.

I had been worried that Jason would get on a bit
too
well with my friends. When we were out together I noticed if I went to the bar or anywhere else, as soon as I was gone Ryan would take advantage of my absence by slipping close to Jason and try flirting with him. I had to repeatedly remind myself that running over there and flooring Ryan was not the best option.

I knew he would try and coax Jason into something. I was worried but in the end I found out I needn't have been. As soon as Jason found out I'd been with Ryan before, things got a little frosty. He never said anything to Ryan, in fact he said very little, but you could tell from his looks that he didn't want to speak to Ryan. I didn't think he wanted me to speak to him either.

While it could be a little awkward, I was relieved in a way.

It didn't stop other guys talking to him though. I had noticed Scott from the salon seemed particularly flirty. I was pleased Jason was almost back to being normal again but it was hard to cope with the uncertainty. I knew what these guys were like, a quick hook up meant nothing to them. It was just a bit of fun, whether you were in a relationship or not.

When my boss Ray asked me to help out with the launch of a new team for the company over in Boston, I baulked at the idea of being away for three weeks.

What would happen if I was away for that long?

I wanted to talk to Jason but I reverted back the shy boy I had been before, not sure how to say anything. I kept quiet for a few days, trying to think how best to voice my concerns.

When I was packing to leave for the airport, Jason appeared and sat in front of me on our bed.

‘I made you something,’ he smiled, holding a badly wrapped parcel out for me.

I was surprised and stopped packing to unwrap it.

‘Thank you,’ I said, although I was even more surprised when I looked at it. It was a Walkman.

‘You
made
it?’

His smile widened. ‘Not the Walkman, dummy. The mix tape inside.’

‘Oh,’ I said, grasping the gift tighter in my hands. ‘Thank you. Er, what's on it?’

‘Nothing that'll scare you,’ he smirked. ‘I picked stuff you like.’

I carefully placed the Walkman in my bag and sat next to him on the bed. ‘I love you,’ I told him.

‘I love you, too,’ he replied, leaning in to kiss me. I pulled back, just out of reach. I thought this was as good a time as any.

‘I'm not going to...er, see anyone else.’

Jason pulled back too, searching my eyes. A slight frown appeared on his face.

‘Right,’ he said.

‘Just so you know,’ I added.

‘Yeah, I assumed as much.’

‘Well, now you know. I won't see anyone.’

Jason's frown grew thoughtful as he looked at me. ‘Is this your lame attempt at asking me not to sleep with anyone?’

I could feel the flush appearing on my cheeks. ‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘So you think I'm gonna go off fucking around while you're away?’

‘No,’ I sighed. ‘Well...I know Scott likes you.’

‘I don't like Scott.’

‘Well...I meant to say, I know most of those guys do the open relationship thing and I'm not saying I won't ever change, I don't know that...’

Jason simply looked at me, waiting for me to finish.

‘...but I don't want to share you.’

He leaned into me, hands twining round my neck. ‘You don't have to,’ he said softly. ‘I'm not going anywhere.’

‘Promise?’

‘Sure, jock,’ he smiled. ‘I'm all yours.’

FIN