The Reluctant Outlaw (Love Inspired Historical) (14 page)

The nightmare was back.

James was driving the wagon, minding his own business, when six masked men on horseback emerged from the woods with guns drawn. A mix of anger and disbelief marked his expression. With no choice, he halted the team and faced his enemies with courage. True to his character, he didn’t give in. He didn’t go down without a fight.

The scene distorted into chaos, and James was lying facedown in the dirt. Evan was there, tugging on his shoulder to turn him over. James flopped over and his hat slipped back. Instead of his brother’s dear face, an eyeless skull with a gaping mouth stared up at him.

“James!” His brother’s name was ripped from his lips. “Where?”

“Shh,” a familiar voice close to his ear soothed, “You’re all right. I’m here.”

Juliana.
At the sound of her sweet voice, the horror of the dream slipped away. Evan tried to say her name, but he couldn’t. Blackness overtook him once again.

Henry rode into camp about an hour after supper.

She ducked outside as soon as she heard the sound of an approaching rider. Rose walked swiftly over with Joy in her arms. Matt followed close behind.

He dismounted near the tent. One glimpse of his expression was all it took for Juliana’s hopes to fly away on the wind.

“You couldn’t find it, could you?” Hands clasped at her waist, she braced herself for his answer.

His eyes held a wealth of regret in their dark depths. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Harrison.” His gaze flicked to his wife at her gasp of dismay. “I stayed away as long as I dared. I think it may be too late in the season for that particular wildflower, because I didn’t see a single one.”

“I don’t understand,” she heard herself saying. “We all asked God to lead you to it. Why didn’t He answer our prayers?”

“God always answers our prayers,” Henry said kindly, “it’s just that sometimes His answer is no.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” she demanded, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “If his fever doesn’t break soon, he could—” She clamped her lips shut, her eyes darting to Matt. She couldn’t say it in front of the boy.

“One thing we’re going to do is continue to pray and ask God to spare Evan’s life.”

Juliana buried her face in her hands.
Dear Father, I don’t understand why You didn’t allow Henry to find that flower. Based on Your word, I know in my mind that You love Evan and have a plan and a future for him. But my heart is rebelling, Lord. Help me to trust You, God. Please spare Evan. I love him.

And now she might not have a chance to tell him. She’d led him to believe that he meant nothing to her. In trying to protect herself, she’d hurt him.

Henry and Rose stepped closer and took turns praying out loud. Her heart heavy, Juliana couldn’t stop the tears from coursing down her cheeks. Their heartfelt words of petition humbled her. These relative strangers were pouring their hearts out to God, requesting healing for a man they didn’t know. A man they thought was her husband.

Juliana hated that they’d deceived this dear couple. She was tempted to tell them the truth, but felt like she’d be betraying Evan’s trust if she did. After all, how would they react when they found out he’d kidnapped her?

Of course, she could tell them the truth without giving them all the details. She made up her mind that if—no,
when
—Evan got well, she would discuss the matter with him.

“Mind if I take a look?” Henry splayed a hand toward the tent.

“Please do.”

“Juliana.” Rose placed her arm around her shoulders and steered her toward the fire. “You’ve been in there with him all day. Come and sit in the fresh air awhile. Eat something. It will do you good.”

“I don’t like to be away from him,” she protested.

“Henry will sit with him until you return. He won’t be alone.”

“Momma.” Matt’s quiet voice halted their progress. “Can I take Joy to the water’s edge and show her the frogs?”

“Yes, you may.” She bent to put the girl down. “But don’t take your eyes off her.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He held out his hand. “Come on.”

Grinning, Joy placed her tiny hand in his.

“Mind your brother, Joy,” Rose called after them. “And try not to get wet.”

At the fire pit, she pressed a cup of coffee into Juliana’s hands. “Have a seat.”

“No, thanks. I’d rather stand awhile.” Her legs and back were stiff from sitting in that cramped space most of the day. The coffee tasted fresh and strong. She was finally learning to appreciate black coffee.

“So what now?” She faced the other woman. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Rose chewed on her lip. “I know this sounds crazy, but we could try putting him in the shallow end of the pond. Having most of his body submerged in the water might bring his temperature down.”

Juliana looked over at the placid water drenched in muted hues of orange-gold. In the distance, the sun was an orange ball hovering above the horizon. Above their heads, the clouds had finally dispersed. The sky was a pale, whitish-blue color. “At this point, I’m willing to try just about anything.”

“We’ll ask Henry, but not until you’ve eaten.” She passed Juliana a bowl and spoon. “It’s not much, but it will fill your stomach.”

The aroma of rabbit stew teased her nose and her stomach growled in response. She was hungrier than she’d realized. Eating standing up, she savored every bite of the tender meat, wild mushrooms and ramps.

“Thank you.” She licked her lips. “Very tasty. You’re a great cook.”

“Would you like more? There’s plenty to go around.”

“I’m tempted, but I think I’ll pass for now. Have you eaten yet?”

“Not yet.” She tucked a curl behind her ear and blew out a breath. She looked tuckered out. “I was waiting for Henry.”

“Why don’t you take a couple bowls over there.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “Discuss your idea with him while you both eat. You’ll be near enough to hear Evan if he calls out.” Juliana began gathering the dirty dishes and utensils. “Meanwhile, I’m going to wash the dishes. I feel horrible about leaving all the work for you to do.”

“Don’t. You’ve been exactly where you should be—at your husband’s side.”

Ignoring the twinge of guilt, she paused in the midst of stacking the dishes. “I’m so glad you both are here. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Evan had taken ill when we were alone on the trail. I wouldn’t have been able to tend to his needs while trying to hunt for food and cook and wash dishes. I have that much to be thankful for, at least.”

Rose sent her a tired smile. “I’m happy God worked it out so that we could be here. I’ve been in your position before. I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end, and it’s nice to be able to give back for a change.”

“Well, I appreciate all you’ve done. Now go eat,” Juliana insisted. “I’ll watch out for the kids.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Rose dipped a portion for herself and her husband into two bowls. “I’m sure he’ll want coffee, too, but it can wait until after we eat.”

“I’ll leave it, then. Don’t rush. Enjoy some time alone with your husband.”

“Thank you.”

Juliana watched her walk away before turning to her task.

Crouched at the water’s edge, Juliana inhaled the fresh
air. Although she wanted to be near Evan, it was nice to be outside doing something useful with her hands. The tent was a small, confined space, made smaller by Evan’s wide shoulders and long legs.

The children’s laughter reached her, followed by sounds of splashing water. Resting her hands on her knees, she watched the brother and sister toss pebbles into the pond. Joy’s high-pitched squeals mingled with Matt’s carefree laughter. Watching them interact, her thoughts drifted to her own siblings.

In her mind’s eye, she summoned a picture of each of her sisters. Jessica and Jane in the kitchen preparing supper, their faces smudged with flour. Megan curled up on the couch with a book, oblivious to everything around her. Nicole sewing in her favorite chair by the window, the picture of a prim and proper young lady.

She missed them—plain and simple. Longed to see them face-to-face. Her heart ached at the fear and worry and pain they must be enduring on account of her disappearance. Her family had no idea whether she was alive or dead. And now that Evan was ill, delaying their arrival in his hometown, they would have to wait and wonder even longer.

The fact that she would see them again in the near future brought her immense comfort.

Evan, on the other hand, wouldn’t see his brother again this side of heaven. From the depth of the grief she’d glimpsed in his eyes whenever the subject came up, the two had been extremely close. Considering they’d lost their parents as young men, she could imagine how they’d leaned on each other during that time of loss.

He’d obviously been dreaming about his brother. Could his death be the reason behind Evan’s current sit
uation? Juliana realized that she didn’t know the details surrounding his passing. She’d neglected to ask.

Clearing her thoughts, she checked on the children and, spotting them chasing a butterfly, continued with her task. By the time she was finished, dusk had settled around her. She called for Matt and Joy to join her, which they promptly did. Upon reaching the fire pit, she noticed the flames had died down so she added a couple of logs to the heap.

“Juliana.” Henry and Rose approached. “He’s asking for you.”

“He’s awake?”

“He’s groggy. His communication is fuzzy, but he’s very clear about his wish to see you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “And the fever? Has it broken?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Rose, I hate to ask…” She indicated the clean dishes.

“I’ll put everything away.” She gave Juliana a gentle shove. “Go. Be with him.”

Gathering her skirts, Juliana jogged across the narrow field. His eyes were open and searching for her when she reached him.

“Juliana?” he rasped, his head turning toward her. His ebony hair was slicked back, his forehead wet with sweat. The strips of cloth holding the bandage in place were twisted from so much movement. She would need to redress the wound soon.

“I’m here.” She hurriedly kneeled at his side, her water-splotched skirt a cloud about her knees. She sandwiched his hand between hers.

In his larkspur-blue eyes she saw regret and pain. “I’m sorry.”

“Evan,” she whispered, her vision blurring with tears, “don’t do this.”

He licked his dry lips before continuing. “I never should’ve—” He broke off, too weak to continue, his frustration evident. “Taken you.”

Juliana leaned closer, smiling tenderly through her tears. “I’m not sorry.”

His lids fluttered closed, and she thought that perhaps he’d drifted back to sleep. Disappointment skittered through her. She wanted, no
needed,
to talk to him.

“You’re not?” he grunted after a moment, leveling a look at her.

“You asked me if I care about what happens to you.” She dipped her head, focusing on the rapid rise and fall of his chest. “And I led you to believe something other than the truth.” Taking a deep breath, she gazed down into his eyes. “I don’t regret going to the mercantile that morning. I don’t regret our kiss. And, yes, I do care about you.”

I love you.
But she couldn’t say the words aloud. Not yet.

A tiny spark of hope lit in his eyes. “You…forgive…me?”

“Yes, of course,” she rushed to say, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiled.

His gaze roamed slowly across her face, as if memorizing her features. “You’re…beautiful…Irish.”

The nickname brought a fresh wave of emotion, and she blinked to dry her eyes. She’d shed more tears in the last several days than she had her entire life!

Scooting closer, she reached for the tin cup. “Try to drink some water, okay?”

His eyes never left her as she cradled his head and helped him drink. “Good nurse,” he murmured.

With trembling fingers, she touched his stubbly jaw. “You should rest now.”

His fingers gripped hers, his expression turning urgent. “Something I need…tell you.” His voice faded and his eyelids drooped. “I’m not…”

Juliana moved closer. “You’re not what?” she prompted softly.

When he didn’t respond, she realized that he’d fallen asleep. She sat there, watching and waiting for him to stir again. What had he been about to say? Whatever it was would have to wait until he regained consciousness. And by that time he would’ve probably already forgotten.

Fatigue weighed her down, and she couldn’t resist stretching out on the blanket next to him. Just for a few minutes, she told herself, and then she would go and talk to Henry.

J
uliana awoke some time later to the sound of Evan’s moans. Through the slim openings in the tent, she could see that it was night. Though exactly how long she’d slept she had no idea.

“C-cold.” His teeth chattered, and, because of her close proximity, she felt the tremors that racked his body.

Pushing her unkempt hair out of her eyes, she scrambled to her knees. The kerosene lamp in the corner cast a faint glow across the small interior. She thought his face appeared paler than normal, but it was hard to tell.

His body trembled beneath the single blanket covering him. “P-please…”

“I’ll go for more blankets,” she reassured him. “I’ll be right back.”

Outside, she waited for her eyes to adjust before starting across the field to where the Talbots slept near the fire. When she had just about reached them, a tall figure stepped out from behind a tree.

She stopped short, her loud gasp splitting the silence.

“It’s me, Henry.” He whipped off his hat, but with no moon in the cloudless sky, his features remained indistinguishable. She recognized his voice, however.

“Henry!” Her hands went to her throat. “You scared the life out of me!”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought it best to keep watch, considering. Are you all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, though her heart continued to race. “Evan has the chills. I’ve come for extra blankets, if there are any to be had.”

“Good thing for us, Rose likes to be prepared. She insisted we bring every last one.”

“I imagine that when traveling with children, one must expect the unexpected.”

He chuckled in the darkness. “Yes, ma’am.”

He quickly gathered up the extras while trying not to disturb his slumbering family. He carried the bundle back to the tent for her and helped her cover Evan.

“I don’t understand,” she said, tucking the material beneath him, creating a cocoon. “How can he be so cold and yet so hot at the same time?”

Resting on her haunches, she looked over at Henry.

“It’s his body’s way of trying to cool itself. Same thing happened with the others.”

“Did Rose talk to you about her idea?”

“She did. I don’t think it’s wise at this point, what with the chills and all.”

Frustration at the whole situation sharpened her tone. “I hate seeing him suffer like this.”

“I understand,” Henry commiserated. “If it were my Rose lying here sick, well, I don’t know if I would’ve handled it as well as you.”

“I don’t like feeling helpless.” She sighed.

“You’re taking care of his needs as best you can, and even though he’s unconscious much of the time, I’m cer
tain he senses your presence. That must be a huge comfort to him.”

Her gaze slid to Evan’s shivering form. “I hope so.”

“I’m going to make some sassafras tea.” He turned to go. “Maybe that will help.”

“It certainly can’t hurt. Thank you.”

“I’ll be back in a jiff.”

Juliana scooted next to Evan and tugged the layer of blankets up so that they nearly reached his chin. Placing her palm against his forehead, she found it damp and clammy.

“God in heaven above,” she prayed with her eyes shut tight, “I ask You to please spare Evan’s life. Give him another chance. Give
us
a chance, if it is Your will. Drive the fever from his body and restore his health. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.”

Time passed slowly. The tremors began to come quicker and harder than before. She hugged him tighter, trying to ease the violence of them. His lips quivered with cold. His moans became low pleadings for the pain to stop.

Juliana cried in earnest, her heart ripping in two. He was getting worse. She feared that she was losing him.

Voices penetrated the fog surrounding his brain. Hushed, worried voices. He tried to concentrate on what they were saying, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate.

He couldn’t seem to stop shaking. So cold. And weak. He doubted that he could lift his little finger, he was that exhausted.

Where was Juliana? He needed to talk to her. There was so much to say…

The voices were louder now. He focused on the words, stunned to discover that they were praying for him. Beg
ging God for his life. His heart hitched within his breast, unease skittering through his limbs. Was he hovering near death?

He didn’t want to die. He wanted to live! Not the way he had before, bent on revenge and consumed with hatred. More than anything, he craved peace. He understood now that God could handle his anger and his grief, but He would not tolerate his rebellion.

It was hard to put his thoughts together, but he prayed as best he could.

Forgive me, Lord, for blaming You for James’s death. Forgive me for holding on to the hate in my heart. Help me. I want to be near You as I was before.

At the completion of his prayer, he felt at peace for the first time in almost a year. How he’d missed that sense of calm and comfort only the Lord could bestow. He was forgiven, and that’s all that mattered.

Feeling his deep sigh, Juliana lifted her head. His tremors eased.

“What’s happening?” Rose asked, in part fearful, in part hopeful.

Juliana felt his forehead again. “Hotter than ever.” Disappointment weighed her down.

“We could try willow leaves,” Henry said quietly. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before, but my sister used them to make a concoction once when my mother became ill and there wasn’t a doctor available. There were weeping willows on our property just like the ones here.”

Juliana had never heard of that particular remedy. “You know as well as I do that a homemade remedy can be tricky. Too little and it has no effect. Too much can
be deadly. Do you remember if she used the leaves and bark together? And what about the quantity?”

“I was just a boy. I don’t remember much about it.”

“Are you certain it was a willow tree?” Rose said.

“Absolutely.”

“I don’t know. It’s risky.” She looked at Rose. “What do you think?”

“It appears to me he’s getting worse, not better. We can either wait and hope he can fight this on his own or try the willow leaves. Henry is positive that’s what was given his mother, so we could try a small amount at first.”

Juliana studied Evan’s still form. The decision was ultimately hers, she knew. She was torn between the need to act and the fear of things going horribly wrong. What if they gave him too much? Or if he had some sort of adverse reaction? She would never be able to forgive herself. On the other hand, if they did nothing and he got worse…

“Let’s do it,” she blurted before she could change her mind.

Henry moved to get up. “I’ll go.”

“I’ll brew the tea,” Rose added.

Needing reassurance, Juliana stopped Rose with a hand on her arm. “Am I doing the right thing?”

“I believe so, yes.” She placed her hand over Juliana’s. “Remember, God is watching over him.”

“I know,” she breathed, her attention already on Evan. She hoped she wouldn’t regret this decision.

That night was one of the longest in Juliana’s life. Despite Henry’s urging to get some rest, she refused. Since she’d slept much of the day, she wasn’t at all sleepy. And even if she was, she couldn’t leave him. Not until she knew whether or not the willow leaves were going to work.

They managed to get a few cups of the brew into him. While he didn’t appear to have a reaction, neither did his condition change. Juliana was growing more frustrated by the minute.

Rose ducked her head in. “Juliana, I made coffee. Why don’t you come outside for a little while? You need a break. Fresh air will do you good.”

Henry nodded. “Go on. I’ll be here.”

Evan was sleeping peacefully, so she decided it wouldn’t hurt to leave him in Henry’s care for a bit.

“It’s nearing daybreak.” Rose moved back to give her room to exit. “We could start breakfast.”

“Hey,” Henry spoke up, “both of you stay alert.”

Juliana didn’t want to think about Fitzgerald, not with Evan lying here so ill. But Henry was right. There was a very real possibility that Fitzgerald would find them. They couldn’t let their guard down simply because they were worried about Evan.

“I’ll take the gun you loaned me, Henry.”

Outside the tent, Rose handed her a cup of steaming hot coffee. “Let’s go sit by the pond.”

“We’ll get eaten up by mosquitoes,” she objected. “How about here on this old log?” She indicated a spot not far from the tent. “We’ll be close by but still able to see the children.”

“That’s fine.”

They sat and sipped their coffee in companionable silence. Around them the animals began to stir as the darkness slowly lifted.

“How are you holding up?”

Cupping the warm mug in her hands, Juliana turned her head to look at the other woman. “I’ve been better.”

“You’re very devoted. You two seem to share a special bond.”

The corners of her mouth lifted a fraction at the irony of that statement. “Yes, I guess you could say that. How did you and Henry meet?”

Rose spoke at length about how they’d been neighbors and she’d fancied Henry, but he’d hardly seemed to notice her. Absorbed in Rose’s story, Juliana lost track of the time.

“Do you mind my asking how you met?” Rose asked.

At Juliana’s uneasy expression, Rose continued, “You seem so well suited is all—that’s why I asked. Don’t feel as if you have to answer—”

Henry poked his head out, his expression urgent. “Juliana! He’s awake!”

In her haste, she toppled her mug, spilling most of the contents on the ground. Her heart in her throat, she rushed to Evan’s side. Her sole focus was on Evan, so she didn’t notice when Henry left to speak with his wife.

“Juliana?” His deep voice was rough from disuse.

“Oh, Evan, you’re awake!” Her first thought was to check his temperature, and she pressed her palm against his forehead. Cool and dry. Thank God! All the stress and worry of the last few days drained from her body.

“Your fever’s gone,” she whispered.

His clear gaze clung to hers. “What’s wrong with me?”

Suddenly self-conscious, she removed her hand and let it fall to her lap. “You’ve been ill. Do you remember anything at all?”

A wrinkle formed between his brows. “The last thing I remember is holding Joy. What happened? Did I pass out?”

“Yes, Evan. You’ve been in and out of consciousness for the last two days.”

“Two days?” His eyes widened. When he tried to sit up, Juliana put restraining hands on his shoulders.

“Don’t try to sit up. You don’t have the strength—”

“We’ve lost a lot of time.” He struggled a moment then fell back with a grunt. “Why am I so weak?” As was to be expected, he was irritated and confused.

She smoothed the blankets across his chest out of habit. He watched her every move. “Your body has been fighting this sickness. On top of that you haven’t eaten anything.”

“You’re wearing a gun,” he stated, his eyes going dark with concern. “Has Fitzgerald been here?”

“No, it’s just a precaution.”

“Have there been signs of anyone around the camp?”

Juliana covered his hand with hers in an effort to reassure him. “No. Stop worrying. Henry and I both carry weapons. We’re being careful.”

His fingers gripped hers. “How experienced are you, though? Fitz is a professional.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “You’re forgetting my cousins.”

“Oh.” His expression eased. “Right.”

“Your only concern right now should be regaining your strength.”

His gaze roamed her face. “I heard your prayers. That meant a lot. I said one of my own as well.”

“Oh?” Her heartbeat quickened.

“There’s so much I’d like to tell you.” His lids grew heavy. “But I’m tired. Can’t seem to keep my eyes open.”

“There’ll be plenty of time to talk later,” she reassured. “Your body needs rest.”

His fingers relaxed their hold on her hand. Within minutes, his breathing evened out. Juliana watched him sleep, her heart bursting with gratitude.

“Thank You, Jesus,” she whispered.

God had heard their prayers, and in His infinite wisdom and kindness, healed Evan.

Knowing the others were expecting her, she went outside.

“Well?” Rose asked hesitantly.

Juliana’s smile rivaled the sun. “He’s fine. He’s tired, of course. A little confused about what’s been happening. But overall he’s okay.”

Henry put his arm around his wife and hugged her to him. “I do believe we’ve witnessed God’s hand moving upon this man, just as we asked.”

“Yes,” Juliana agreed. “Words can’t express how happy I am right now.”

“Now that you know he’s going to be okay, you need to rest. Henry and I will fix breakfast and wake you when it’s ready, okay?”

“I can help—”

“No.”

She
was
tired. No, exhausted. Not knowing whether Evan would live or die had taken a huge emotional toll on her. “You’re right. I’m worn out. But be sure and wake me when breakfast is ready. I’ll take cleanup duty.”

As soon as she got comfortable on her pallet in the shade, she fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke, she had the feeling that she had slept a lot longer than an hour. Immediately she went to check on Evan. He was sleeping still, and she could tell by his breathing that he was resting soundly. She sat there watching him for a few minutes before hunger drove her outside.

Brilliant blue stretched across the wide expanse above her. The sweet-scented air was calm today, the sun heating the fertile earth. A hawk made lazy circles in the air before swooping down into the field to catch his lunch.

Like the graceful bird, her heart soared, free of its
burden. Evan would recover, praise God. She refused to ponder the future with all its unknowns and what ifs. She would focus on his recovery and the blessings of today.

Her friends waved her over. There was a bounce in her step as she made her way to join them. The women spent the day catching up on laundry and entertaining Joy, while Henry and Matt fished for their supper.

Juliana checked on Evan throughout the day, at times hand-feeding him tea and broth. He was drowsy and not inclined to talk. She was a bit disappointed but realized his body needed time to mend.