The Reluctant Outlaw (Love Inspired Historical) (12 page)

Or worse, what if Lenny Fitzgerald had caught up to them? The thought of Evan in danger made her heart race. By the time she and Matt were finished, she was trembling with apprehension.

“Are you all right, Miss Juliana?”

Washing her hands in the shallow water, she looked over her shoulder at the concerned boy. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re awful pale,” he said in a serious tone. “And you got quiet all of a sudden.”

Juliana felt bad about causing him alarm. She mustered up a fleeting smile. “I’m sorry, Matt. I guess I was thinking too hard about something.” She walked over to where he was crouched down and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for your help this afternoon.”

He beamed up at her. “You’re welcome.”

With a squeeze and a pat, she picked up the pail containing the frogs’ legs and took it over to Rose. Her legs were unsteady, and she felt as if she might lose her lunch.

“Juliana!” Rose scrambled to her feet and took the pail from her. “Sit down right here in the shade while I pour you a drink of water. You look parched.”

Juliana sank to her knees, accepting the tin cup pressed into her hand and sipping the cool liquid. She untied her bonnet with her free hand, slipped it off and placed it in her lap.

“I hope you didn’t get too hot,” Rose commented as she resumed her task. “Would you like a cool compress for your forehead?”

“No, thank you. The water is helping.” She met Henry’s gaze. “Do you know where Evan went?”

“He went looking for berries,” Henry’s eyes twinkled. “Heard you had a hankerin’ for dessert.”

Juliana didn’t know what to think. Evan was out there searching for berries in order to please her? That meant that, in a roundabout way, it was her own fault she was sick with worry.

“He’s been gone a long time, don’t you think?” She brushed a black ant off the corner of the blanket.

“Your husband should be along shortly,” he assured her. “Don’t worry, he’s got protection.”

She didn’t respond, merely sipped more water. A weapon wouldn’t do him any good if he didn’t have time to draw it.

Father God, my thoughts are spiraling out of control. You know exactly where he is and what he’s doing. Keep him safe. I ask this in Jesus’s name, Amen. Oh, and please help me not to worry.

Evan stared down at the smoldering fire pit with dismay. Next to it lay an empty whiskey bottle and the remains of someone’s supper. Whoever had been there hadn’t taken the time to clean up after themselves.

He picked up the bottle and examined it more closely. The label was partly worn off, but he could make out enough of it to know that it was the cheap brand Fitzgerald preferred. Tossing it to the ground, he searched for more clues, but came up empty.

If Fitzgerald was nearby, he’d have to warn Henry Talbot.

The Talbots’ arrival had proved to be a blessing. Before now, he hadn’t been able to backtrack and check for signs that Fitzgerald was indeed following them. He hadn’t wanted to leave Juliana alone and unprotected.
With Henry to watch over her, however, he’d felt that he could leave her for a while.

He figured he’d been gone about two hours, enough time to relive their last conversation about a hundred times. Her words had seared him clean through to his soul. He’d never been shot, but he figured the pain of a bullet hole couldn’t compare to the wound she’d inflicted.

Juliana hadn’t wanted him to kiss her. She said she didn’t feel
safe
with him.

Burying his face in Lucky’s coarse neck, he groaned. What a mess he’d made of things! Her mistrust dealt a harsh blow to his honor. Evan would die before forcing himself on a woman.

Slamming his hat on his head, he swung into the saddle and turned Lucky in the direction of camp.

Memories of the kiss resurfaced. Juliana had been irritated with him beforehand, but she’d responded to his touch. Hadn’t she? Had he imagined the longing in her eyes?

His grip tightened on the reins. One thing was for certain—he would not kiss her again unless she asked him to. And, knowing Juliana, that day would likely never come.

Juliana paced before the fire, stopping every few moments to search the darkness and listen for the sound of a rider approaching. Her nerves were stretched to the limit. If Evan didn’t show up soon, she would borrow one of Henry’s horses and go search for him herself.

Her imagination was running wild, dreaming up all sorts of reasons why he hadn’t returned. Fear taunted her, robbing her of peace.

Supper had turned out to be a huge disappointment. The food Rose worked so hard to prepare hadn’t tempted
her a bit. For Rose’s sake, she’d managed to eat a portion of her meal. Even with that small amount, her stomach had cramped up and she’d resorted to sipping coffee.

The other couple had done their best to keep her mind off Evan. They entertained her with stories of the children’s antics. They were kind people who shared her love for the Lord. She was thankful for their companionship.

Throughout the evening, Henry hadn’t appeared at all concerned over Evan’s absence, but Rose hadn’t been able to hide her unease.

“Juliana?”

Stopping short, she shot the other woman a hopeful look. “Anything?”

With a sympathetic smile, Rose shook her head. Black curls framed her face and spilled over her shoulders, making her appear ten years younger. Juliana thought she was a handsome woman.

“Would you like for me to pray with you?” Rose asked.

“That would be nice.”

Rose approached and, clasping Juliana’s hands, she began to pray for Evan’s safety and swift return. For Juliana, she prayed for peace and faith in God’s goodness.

“Thank you, Rose. I’ve only known you a day but I already consider you a friend.”

Rose’s face lit up, warming Juliana. “Not only are we friends, but sisters in Christ.”

The weight of her and Evan’s deception weighed heavily on her conscience, but she couldn’t tell Rose the truth. Not yet. Perhaps someday, when the time was right, she would confide in her new friend and ask for forgiveness.

“The children are already asleep, but Henry and I will be up awhile longer. Just so you know, Henry plans on staying awake until Evan shows up.”

“I’ll be awake, too. I doubt I’ll sleep this night.”

“Try not to worry, Juliana.” She spoke with conviction. “From what I’ve seen, it’s obvious that Evan loves you dearly. He’ll fight to get back to you with everything in him.”

Juliana bit her lip. If only he truly did love her. If only he wasn’t an outlaw. If only…

“I hope you’re right,” she sighed, her heart heavy.

“According to Henry, I’m always right,” Rose grinned and patted her arm. “Wake me if you need to. I won’t mind.”

“I’ll do that,” she agreed. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Juliana watched her walk back to where they’d bedded down on the far side of the fire. She spoke to Henry, who turned and waved. Juliana lifted her hand in a limp wave and resumed her pacing.

E
xhaustion threatened to overtake Evan. His lower back ached from sitting in the saddle for hours on end, and his head pounded from lack of food. At this late hour, hunger was the only thing keeping him awake. He tried to remember what he’d eaten for lunch and realized he and Juliana had skipped it. He wondered if she’d thought to save him a plate from supper, or if she’d thought about it and decided to let him fend for himself.

The light from the fire was a welcome sight. Sensing water and rest were within reach, his horse cantered into the campsite, arriving winded and nearly tossing Evan to the ground with his abrupt stop.

“Whoa there, big boy.” He spoke in low tones so as not to wake the others. He balanced his hat on the saddle horn and ran his fingers through his hair.

Sliding out of the saddle, he jerked at the unexpected sound of Juliana’s voice directly behind him.

“Where have you been?”

He turned to face her, taken aback by her undisguised anger. Her eyes were enormous in her colorless face. Tendrils had escaped the once-tidy bun, and there was a smudge of dirt on her chin. She looked fit to be tied.

“Do you realize how worried I—
we
have been?”

Evan stared down at her. The desire to hug away her worries was strong, but he knew she wouldn’t welcome it. As hard as it was, he turned his back on her and began to see to his horse, speaking over his shoulder as he worked.

“I’m sorry about that, but I had my reasons.”

Silence greeted his remark. Then, “And what might those be, may I ask?”

“Fitzgerald,” he grunted, lifting the saddle and dropping it on the ground nearby. His glance flicked to her face, then away. “He’s on our trail.” He removed the saddle blanket from Lucky’s back.

“Did you see him?”

“Nope.”

“Then how—”

“Whiskey bottle.” He brushed the black’s coarse hair until it shined in the low light. “I know the brand he drinks. That, and the place was a mess. Typical of him.”

When she didn’t respond, Evan paused. Heaving a sigh, he slowly turned around. Fear was written all over her. When he noticed her trembling, his willpower took a nosedive. Still, he managed to hold back.

“Please try not to worry, Juliana.” He gazed deep into her eyes, trying to impart comfort without actually touching her. “He’ll have to go through me to get to you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she whispered.

Evan’s fists clenched. He swallowed hard. How much was a man supposed to take? He wasn’t made of steel.

“I don’t plan on losing, darlin’,” he drawled, his voice a soft caress.

“Evan, I—”

“Glad to see you made it back.” Henry strode up and clapped him on the shoulder. “Everything all right?”

“Actually, I need to speak with you.” He glanced at
Juliana. “Do you happen to have any leftovers? I’m starving.”

She stared at him. “I’ll get a plate ready for you. How about coffee as well?”

He flashed her a grateful smile. “I’d like that, if you’re not too tired.”

“I’m too wound up to be tired.”

“You can keep me company while I eat then.”

With an arched brow, she whirled away and went to ready the food. He stared after her, content simply to watch her move about. Henry cleared his throat, and, pulling his gaze away, Evan began to lay out the facts.

After stoking the fire, Juliana set the coffee on to heat. The night air was fresh and sweet and pleasant. Crickets chirped. The fat, luminescent moon cast a glow over the land as mist rolled in across the pond.

Her eyes drank in the sight of Evan, safe and sound in her presence. In the pale moonlight, she could make out his profile as he spoke with Henry. Wide forehead, straight nose, angled jaw, determined chin. His short black hair lay smoothly against his head.

His bearing spoke of self-assurance and resolve. Did he fear nothing?

Her own battle with fear had left her limp and worn out. It had taken her on a wild ride that day—from the heights of worry to the depths of despair. She knew that God had not given her a spirit of fear, but of power and of a sound mind. Instead of trusting in Him, however, she’d allowed herself to become consumed with the emotion.

Now there was new reason to fear—Lenny Fitzgerald was hot on their trail.

God, I’m so confused. I’m falling in love with one
outlaw and being hunted by another. Where are You in all of this? How will I find my way?

Juliana missed her family, especially her sister, Megan, and her cousin, Josh. Megan was a good listener, and her faith was solid. As roommates, it was their habit to confide in each other while everyone else slept. In the comfort of their beds, they often talked long into the night. Megan would surely have something constructive to say concerning Juliana’s growing attachment to Evan. Josh was a good listener, too. He gave sound advice from the male perspective.

She wondered what they were doing at that moment. No doubt her entire family was in turmoil over her disappearance. She wondered if there were men still searching for her. She knew Josh would never give up. Her cousin would search until he found her.

Josh and Evan were alike in that they were both determined men. Once their purpose was set, they would do anything to accomplish it. If the circumstances had been different, she had no doubt the two would’ve been great friends. As things stood, she would have a hard time convincing her cousin not to shoot the man who’d kidnapped her.

Evan was saying good-night to Henry, who looked tense. Evan would’ve warned him of the danger without telling him the whole truth about their situation. She prayed that no harm would come to the Talbot family. She wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt if Fitzgerald harmed her new friends.

Lowering his tall frame to the ground, Evan propped his arms on his bent knees and stared intently at her. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” She focused on pouring them each a cup of coffee, all the while avoiding his direct gaze.

“Are you still angry at me?”

As she handed a cup to him, his fingers closed over hers. A jolt of awareness shot through her. Her gaze flew to his face. Carefully releasing her fingers while still holding onto the cup, his expression became guarded and his eyes watchful.

“Well?” he prompted. “Are you?”

“I’m not angry. I reacted out of fear, I suppose.”

His dark gaze roamed her face. “Does that mean you care what happens to me, Juliana?”

She stiffened, her mind scrambling for a proper response. Had she been that obvious? “Of course I care for your safety,” she stammered. “If something happened to you, who would take me home?”

He winced as if she’d inflicted physical pain. “That’s right. I’m your ticket home.”

For the second time that day, Juliana wished her words had been left unspoken. She’d hurt him. “I didn’t mean that how it sounded, Evan. Really—”

He held up a hand. “You don’t have to explain. I understand.”

“Evan, please—”

With a feather-light touch of his finger, he lifted her chin. “I wasn’t expecting a declaration of love, Juliana.”

Dropping his hand, he turned his head to stare into the fire.

Juliana squeezed her eyes shut. She’d led him to believe he was merely a means to an end. Her ticket home, as he put it. That was a lie. Against her better judgment, she had begun to care deeply for him. Worrying and fretting about his whereabouts all evening had brought that fact to light.

“Why do you associate with men like Fitzgerald?” she said suddenly. “You’re nothing like them.”

He sipped his coffee. “As I said earlier, it’s a temporary thing.”

“Is it the money?”

He shot her a look of dismissal. “I don’t need money.”

“What is it you need, Evan?”

He didn’t speak for the span of a few seconds. The smile he summoned up bordered on a grimace. “I need to eat, Irish. That’s it.”

Frustration bubbled up deep inside, and she bit back a retort. Why couldn’t he trust her? If he didn’t do it for the money—and she’d seen the evidence of that back at the cabin where he’d left the money from the mercantile heist—then what was his motivation? Was he a thrill seeker? Or was it something else entirely? What had driven Evan Harrison to leave his farm for a life of crime?

Juliana wanted desperately to press the issue, but the circles of exhaustion under his eyes and the weariness in his posture aroused her compassion. He was spent. And hungry. This conversation could wait until later.

Grabbing a square cloth, she lifted his trencher from the coals and handed it to him. “I hope you like frogs’ legs. Matt and I caught them.”

“Sure do.” He accepted the trencher with eagerness. “I’ll bet Matt had a great time.” He bit into one and heaved a contented sigh. “This is the best meal I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.”

“Rose prepared it—not me.”

“Yes, but you helped catch the critters. Something else Josh taught you?”

“Yes.” She smothered a yawn, and he looked up.

“You’re tired,” he stated. “Go to bed.”

“I can wait until you’re finished.”

“I’m gonna be up awhile, so you go on ahead. It’s been a long day.”

She brushed the escaped tendrils away from her face. “Aren’t you tired?”

His mouth full of food, he swallowed and wiped his mouth with his handkerchief. “I am, but considering Fitzgerald is out there, I think it’s wise if someone stands guard.”

“But you’ve been in the saddle all day!”

“It’s just for a couple of hours. Henry’s gonna take the second shift.”

“I suppose you’ll want to sleep in tomorrow morning.”

“I was planning on it, yes,” he said wryly. “Is that okay with you? Or do you have plans for me that can’t wait until after breakfast?”

“No, no plans.” She yawned for the second time in five minutes.

“Good night, Juliana.” His tone left no room for argument.

“Good night, Evan.”

Juliana hadn’t been able to sleep for thoughts of Evan. The long night of tossing and turning had left her feeling out of sorts. What was driving him? What was he hiding? Frustration with him, his refusal to trust her and her own wayward heart bubbled up within her.

With jerky movements she scrubbed the pots clean, but her attention was not on the task at hand. Like a magnet, her gaze was drawn repeatedly to his sleeping form and the black boots propped a few feet away. Her thoughts turned to the paring knife she’d slipped in her pocket at breakfast. Could she really do this?

After all she’d been through, Juliana felt as if she deserved some answers. And if Evan refused to give her
the information she sought, then she’d just have to take it upon herself to find it. Her mind made up, she wiped her hands dry and checked to see whether or not the others were watching. They seemed to be sufficiently occupied.

She didn’t give herself time to change her mind. She approached Evan with cautious steps, her gaze on his relaxed features. He didn’t stir. He was so handsome, perhaps even more so now that he was unguarded and peaceful. Her heart gave a painful twinge. She felt horrible doing this, as if she herself were a criminal. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. If only Evan would confide in her…

Fat chance. Ignoring the warning voice inside her head, she scooped up the boots and hurried to an area of tall grass near the water’s edge and sank down, her back to camp. The knife poised in midair, she hesitated. Was this really the right thing to do? After all, she was about to destroy his property. There would be no repairing the lining, so he would know it had been tampered with. And who else but her would do such a thing?

Juliana worried her bottom lip, debating. No matter the consequences, she
had
to know. Perhaps this
thing,
whatever it was, would give her some insight into what he was hiding.

Her mind made up, she sliced through the stitches. Her hands were unsteady as she explored the lining with her fingers. It took a few tries, but she eventually managed to retrieve the object.

A sheriff’s badge. She faltered, her stomach tightening. No. It couldn’t be.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Her heart slammed against her chest at the sound of Evan’s deep voice directly behind her. She clutched the star in her fist and bolted to her feet.

He looked grim. Dark brows winged low, his mouth was turned down in intense displeasure.

“I—I—” she stammered, her mind a complete blank.

His hands on his hips, he waited for her answer. There was no avoiding the issue. He could plainly see what she was doing. She stuck her hand out, palm open, the gold star shining in the light.

“How did you get this, Evan?” she demanded, suddenly angry. Had he lied to her? “Please tell me you didn’t kill a lawman and then hid the evidence.”

She held her breath as she waited for his response, half-afraid to hear it. She couldn’t tell by his expression what he was thinking. That frustrated her.

“I’ve never killed a man,” he said slowly, his eyes narrowing, “I thought I made that clear.”

“So why are you carrying a badge around in your boot? Whose is it?”

“I’d like to know how you found it. Do you make a habit of examining men’s footwear?”

Her cheeks heated. “Absolutely not. I was trying to move your boots out of the rain yesterday when I discovered it. You were asleep at the time.”

With a backward glance over his shoulder, he advanced toward her. He held his hand out. “May I have that back now?”

Reluctantly, she relinquished it. He brushed past her and, scooping up the knife, shot her a look of exasperation before dropping it in his pocket. Then he bent to tug on his boots. When he straightened, his jaw was set.

He came to stand directly in front of her. “I understand your need to know the truth. I’d do the same thing if I were in your position. But let me make myself very clear—” his blue eyes skewered her “—don’t put your
nose where it doesn’t belong. My business is just that—mine.”

His words hurt. “Are you threatening me?” she asked incredulously.

His mouth firmed. “Call it whatever you want, Juliana.”

Spinning on his heel, he strode away without another word.