The Reluctant Outlaw (Love Inspired Historical) (16 page)

He didn’t want to rest. He wanted to talk to her. “I’ll try,” he huffed, doing his best to sound pitiful.

Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll be back soon.”

She slipped out the opening, and Evan watched her boots, skimmed by the hem of her dress, until they disappeared from sight. His eyes remained on the spot she’d vacated, wishing for what he couldn’t have. He closed his eyes and, although he wasn’t sleepy, within minutes he drifted off to sleep.

Gnawing pains in his stomach woke him some time later. He was warm, so he tossed off the quilt and reached for his pants. It was a struggle to put them on while he was on his back, but finally he succeeded and had just finished buttoning them up when Juliana entered the tent. When her gaze fell on him, she almost dumped the soup on the ground.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I can come back—”

“It’s okay, I’m decent. I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” He had his long-sleeved undershirt on, so he didn’t bother with finding his button-down.

“Be careful, it’s hot.”

Evan accepted the stoneware bowl and spoon from her. A quick glance at her face revealed two bright spots of color on her cheeks. He didn’t comment. Instead, he focused on the steaming vegetables floating in rich broth.

Juliana had brought a bowl for herself, and she sat down opposite him. He was pleased she had chosen to share her meal with him, even if they weren’t inclined to speak. The silence was a comfortable one. At times, they commented on the weather or the Talbot children, but all in all it was a quiet affair.

When they had finished, Evan began tugging on his boots.

“What are you doing?” Juliana demanded, eyes wide.

“Four of us can’t fit in here, can we?”

“I suppose not. Still, I’m not sure it’s wise for you to be up and about so soon.”

He heard the undertone of concern in her smooth-as-velvet voice, and it warmed him. “Juliana, I’m only walking to the nearest shade tree, no farther. I’ll be just fine.”

She bit her lip. “You might experience some dizziness. I’ll walk beside you in case you do.”

Evan didn’t have any objections to that, of course. She went out first and waited for him. After being in the tent’s dim interior for so long, it took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the bright sunshine. He would’ve liked to have his hat, but he hadn’t seen it since before he got sick.

As Juliana predicted, weakness assailed him, and his knees threatened to buckle. Immediately, he curled his arm around her shoulders and leaned into her, allowing her to steady him as they slowly crossed the grass. Holding her close filled him with contentment.

His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. As soon as he’d prayed to God and asked for forgiveness, peace had flooded his soul. Instead of being burdened by guilt, he now felt free to pray anytime he wished. The grief that had been his companion for nearly a year was still there, but now he didn’t carry it alone. His Lord was there to help share the burden and make it bearable.

He was glad to be out in the fresh air. The sweet perfume of wildflowers teased his nose, and the whack of a woodpecker’s beak filled his ears. Bees buzzed between blossoms, hovering for a time before darting off to the
next one. As they passed beneath a leafy bower, he spotted a fuzzy-tailed squirrel above their heads. The little animal scurried away as soon as he saw them.

They settled in a shady area not far from the tent, but the short walk had left him feeling weak and out of sorts. That worried him. They needed to get on the trail as soon as possible.

Seeing Henry striding their way, Evan pushed his worries aside. First things first. He had some explaining to do. He didn’t peg Henry Talbot as the type to hold a grudge, but he’d been wrong before.

Henry had two cups in his hand, one of which he passed to Evan. Seeing Henry’s wink, Juliana protested.

“You know he’s not supposed to have that.” She eyed Henry sternly.

“He needs the energy.” Henry smiled, not looking the least bit repentant.

Evan inhaled the aromatic steam rising from the dark liquid and sighed. The coffee smelled strong and bracing, just the way he liked it. Taking a long drink, he eyed Juliana over the rim of his cup. Then he held it aloft.

“I’m willing to share.”

Her eyes widened and her lips parted. He didn’t get to hear her response because Rose appeared at that moment with a cup for Juliana. Too bad. He rather liked sparring with her.

Evan didn’t immediately bring up the issue of his and Juliana’s true relationship. He listened as the other couple spoke of their departure and their plans for the near future. Beside him, Juliana grew increasingly fidgety. Without looking at her, he snatched her hand up and, placing it on his knee, gave it a reassuring squeeze. She squeezed his hand in return.

He cleared his throat and threw a glance her way before addressing Henry and Rose.

“I, uh, have a confession to make,” he began, feeling heat rush into his face. “There are some things I haven’t told you about Juliana and myself, about how we met and the true nature of our relationship.”

Henry looked bewildered. His wife’s gaze searched Evan’s face as if trying to guess the meaning behind his words.

Drawing in a deep breath, he said, “Juliana and I are not really husband and wife.”

Henry stared hard at Evan, his dark gaze dropping to their clasped hands. With a light squeeze, Evan released her hand, which she quickly withdrew. He knew what the other man was thinking. Henry had witnessed that kiss and other displays of affection normally reserved for married couples. No doubt he thought they were living in sin.

“I want to assure you both that nothing improper has happened between the two of us. We met five days ago when our paths crossed unexpectedly, and we’ve been traveling together out of necessity. When you and your family showed up, I figured it was best to pretend to be married. Juliana didn’t want to do it but I insisted, knowing how it would look if we didn’t.” He looked from husband to wife. “I’m sorry I lied to you both.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Juliana rushed to add, her expression full of remorse. “I think of you as a dear friend, Rose, and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you,” Rose said, her eyes full of questions. “I would just like to know what’s going on. The man who’s following you—the one who hurt you—is he the reason you are traveling together?”

“We know it isn’t any of our business—” Henry began.

Evan interrupted. “No. You deserve an explanation. I’ll have to start from the beginning, though.”

Starting with the death of his parents, Evan told them everything leading up to that day in the mercantile. They listened with rapt attention, scarcely believing he’d actually kidnapped Juliana. When he’d finished, they sat in stunned silence.

Henry was the first to speak. “Juliana, you obviously have been through quite a lot this week. Are you sure you’re all right? Would you like to add anything to Evan’s account?”

“I’m fine—honest. God has carried me through these last few days. He’s protected me, and I’m sure He’s comforted my family as well. Evan has been a perfect gentleman. He’s done nothing to make me feel afraid or uncomfortable.”

Evan didn’t know about the perfect part. He regretted the pain he’d caused her family, and realized he’d have to face them one day soon. That was one confrontation he wasn’t eager to have.

“I see.” Henry appeared thoughtful.

Rose Talbot’s curiosity was not so easily satisfied. “I’m curious about something. Henry will likely say I’m being nosy, but I have to say what’s on my mind. It seems to me the two of you have come to care for each other a great deal. The affection between you isn’t pretend, is it?”

Evan feared they could hear his heart banging against his rib cage. How could he possibly answer this question? He wasn’t ready to face the truth himself, much less admit to it in front of Juliana. She’d already said she
didn’t love him—the day he kissed her. And really, how could she? After everything he’d put her through…

His mouth dry, he took another swig of coffee. “Juliana is a remarkable woman, Mrs. Talbot. She’s put up with a lot, and yet, she has found it in her heart to forgive me. I count myself lucky just to know her.”

He hoped his answer would satisfy the other woman. He felt the weight of Juliana’s stare, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet it.

“I think I know the reason for my wife’s questions.” Henry leaned forward to address Evan. “You see, the two of you have spent days in each other’s company without a chaperone. When Juliana’s family finds out, they’ll expect you to marry her. Have you thought about that?”

Evan bowed his head. It was true. A single man and woman traveling for days and nights on their own—no one would believe they were innocent of wrongdoing. Juliana’s reputation was at stake.

“No,” he heard Juliana say. When he lifted his head to look at her, he recognized the defiant tilt of her chin. She met his gaze, her eyes full of fire. “I won’t be forced into marriage. It’s not fair to Evan or myself.”

Evan’s gut twisted. He wanted to do what was best for her, but marriage wasn’t in his plans. Marriage meant commitment and, eventually, attachment. He didn’t want that. It hurt too much to lose someone you loved.

“Think what the townspeople will say, Juliana,” Rose insisted, her face a mask of concern. “You’ll be shunned by many.”

“I don’t care,” she declared. “Those who know me know I’d never do anything to bring shame upon myself or my family.”

Evan noticed her fisted hands in her lap and longed to soothe her, but he didn’t think she’d welcome his touch
right about now. He’d put her in this position. She had every right to be angry.

Rose’s voice was gentle. “It’s not fair, I agree, but it’s the way of things. And it won’t just affect you, my dear. Your mother and sisters will be treated the same as you.”

Juliana shook her head. “I can’t believe it of my friends. The people of Gatlinburg will understand. They have to.”

Rose looked on her with kindness. “Perhaps you’re right.”

“What do you think, Evan?” Henry spoke up.

He caught Juliana’s gaze and held it. Her inner turmoil was plain to see in her beautiful green eyes. It hurt to know he was the cause. “I want what’s best for Juliana. If that means marriage, then so be it.”

The second the words left his mouth, he knew he meant every one. He was willing to give her his name if it meant sparing her pain and humiliation. Somehow he’d find a way to protect his heart.

Her hand flew to her throat. “You can’t mean that, Evan. It’s not what you want, and you know it.”

“What do
you
want, Juliana?” He searched her face for a clue. A myriad of emotions crossed her face—anger, fear, longing.

“I know what I
don’t
want,” she huffed, “and that’s a sham marriage!”

Scrambling to her feet, she strode away.

“Wait—” He moved to rise, but Henry held up a staying hand.

“Maybe you should give her a few minutes alone. It’s a lot to sort through.”

Evan settled back down, his gaze following her to the lake. He doubted he could make it that far on his own
strength, and it frustrated him. He didn’t like feeling helpless.

He felt a hand on his arm. Rose said, “Don’t worry, she’ll come around. She just needs some time.”

He summoned a small smile of thanks before excusing himself. Refusing Henry’s offer of assistance, he made his way back to the tent and lay down to rest and think.

J
uliana watched the swans glide gracefully across the sun-dappled water. How she envied their peace and tranquility! Her own soul was in turmoil. Like a tumbling house of cards, her thoughts heaped one upon another in quick succession until she couldn’t make sense of a single one.

When she’d imagined how the conversation would go with the Talbots, talk of propriety and social expectations hadn’t been on the list of topics for discussion. And certainly not marriage!

Remembering the expression on Evan’s face when Henry brought it up, she dropped her head in her hands and groaned. The idea
terrified
him. Whether it was the prospect of marriage in general or marriage to her in particular she didn’t know.

She had to admit—his reaction cut deep.

He didn’t want a life with her.

Oh, she believed he liked her—perhaps even admired her—but he didn’t love her.

Of course in the end he’d agreed to marry her—
if
she wanted him to. What girl wanted a husband on those
terms? What kind of marriage could they have? Besides, she had a feeling he said it out of a sense of obligation.

Face it, you’re just a liability to him,
a little voice said,
an unwanted responsibility.

As the truth sank in, the place around her heart ached with a dull pain. Tears traced uneven tracks down her cheeks. If she’d known how much it would hurt to love someone, she would’ve guarded her heart more closely.

But from the start, she’d been overwhelmed by her reaction to him. Evan was the first man to make her feel alive and very aware of her femininity. With a single touch of his hand, he could set her pulse racing and make her feel as if she’d just run a mile. Simply being near him thrilled her.

With each new glimpse of his soul, her compassion had taken root and developed into something more, something deeper. Their shared experiences had forged a unique bond between them. He’d seen her at her worst, and she him. They understood each other.

It had taken almost losing him to force her to face the fact that she loved him. And she hadn’t cared that he was an outlaw. She was still adjusting to the fact that he wasn’t a criminal at all, but a respectable man.

A life without Evan would be bleak. Miserable. Unbearable.

And yet that’s the future she faced. In the coming days, she would be reunited with her family, and he would continue his quest for justice. She would go back to her mundane life while he spent his days and nights with criminals.

She wondered if he’d even miss her.

The sound of children playing reached her ears and, lifting her head, she swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. The swelling was gone, and it hurt only if she touched it.
She hoped the bruises disappeared before she returned home. She didn’t want to go into the details of how and where she’d gotten them.

Tugging her snug bodice down, she went to find an empty pail. She wanted to be alone, and the best excuse was to go berry picking. Juliana found Rose tending to Joy. To her relief, the other woman didn’t mention Evan or their earlier conversation, nor did she question Juliana’s intention to go searching for berries. She did, however, insist that Juliana stay close by. With her bonnet and holster in place, she set off.

Juliana spent much of the afternoon meandering through the fields surrounding the lake, venturing as far as the tree line in the distance. She used the time to think and pray. While she didn’t find a single berry bush, she did locate a cherry tree. With her pail swinging from her arm and brimming with plump, crimson fruit, she strolled back into camp.

She spotted Evan right away sitting in the shade, peeling potatoes. Matt was hunkered down next to him, chatting happily. The boy was clearly relieved to see Evan up and about. She’d seen how worried he’d been during Evan’s illness.

As soon as Evan caught a glimpse of her, his hand stilled in midair and his back stiffened. Her steps slowed at his reaction. He didn’t look at all pleased.

But she couldn’t change course now. So she approached the twosome, unable to tear her gaze away from his. When she drew near, he rose to his feet and with a parting word to Matt, met her halfway.

He stopped a foot away and slipped his hands in his pockets. She was still trying to come to grips with the fact that he wasn’t an outlaw. He was a law-abiding citizen and a believer.

Juliana swallowed hard, resisting the urge to throw herself in his arms. He was gorgeous, his pale blue shirt a complement to his tanned skin and dark hair, and so very dear. The only reminder of his illness was the pallor of his skin. She longed to caress his cheek as she’d done while he lay unconscious. Instead, she clasped her hands behind her back, the pail dangling from her fingers.

“You were gone a long time. I was worried.”

His gaze roved over her from head to toe as if assuring himself she was unharmed.

“As you can see, I’m fine. I have protection.” Her palm settled over the gun handle at her waist.

One black eyebrow quirked up. “I already know you’re an adept hunter. But how much experience do you really have with a weapon?”

“Enough.”

“Care to elaborate on that?”

His eyes held a hint of challenge, and she seized on it. “It’d be easier to show you than tell you. How about a demonstration after supper? We can even make it into a contest, if you want.”

His expression turned disbelieving. “You against me? Are you sure you’re up for the challenge?”

She flashed him a confident grin. “I’ll do my best.” Was he in for a big surprise!

“I’d expect nothing less.” He grinned then, white teeth flashing. “I’ve got work to do.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the pile of potatoes. “I’d better get back to it.”

“It’s nice of you to help Rose.”

He lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been idle long enough. I needed something to occupy my hands.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Normal, except for the fact I tire easily.”

“That’s to be expected. Are you sure you’ll be ready to travel tomorrow? We could always wait an extra day.”

With a look of determination, he said, “No, we can’t. We need to get a message to your family as soon as possible. Besides, we’ll be in the saddle most of the way. Lucky will be doing the exercising, not me.”

Juliana had her doubts, but she could see that he wouldn’t be swayed. She hoped he wouldn’t overdo it and end up having a relapse.

She lifted the fruit for him to see. “Do you like cherries?”

“I do. Got anything special in mind for those?”

“Not exactly. I’m going to see if Rose has any suggestions.”

“Ask her if she knows how to make a cherry crumble. If so, I’ve got plenty of cornmeal to spare. She’s welcome to it.”

“Is that a favorite of yours?”

“Not mine. My father’s. I can still remember his excitement each time my mother made it. He was like a little kid in a candy store.”

Hearing him laugh lightened her heart. After all the pain and suffering he’d endured, he deserved to be happy.

She realized that she didn’t know much about his likes and dislikes. “If cherry crumble isn’t your favorite, then what is?”

He thought for a moment. “I’m partial to apple pie. With lots of cinnamon.”

For the first time in her life, Juliana wished she’d learned how to cook. She would’ve liked to make something special for him.

“I guess it’s been a while since you’ve had a homemade meal.”

“Too long,” he muttered. “Restaurant food is the clos
est I’ve had to Mom’s cooking, and it still can’t compare. I’ve enjoyed Rose’s, though. She’s done wonders, considering her limited supplies.”

“Yes,” she agreed, “maybe when I get home I’ll ask Jessica or Jane to teach me a few things.”

“That’s a wise idea.” His expression turned serious. “You’ll have a husband and children to cook for someday.”

“Yes, perhaps.”

He took a step forward. “Juliana, we need to talk.”

She stepped back, sensing he wanted to continue the marriage discussion. “Not now, Evan. Later. I—I have to go.”

She made to move past him, but he caught her wrist. “You can’t avoid the subject forever.”

Juliana gazed at her boots. “We both have things to do.”

He dropped his hand. “You’re right. But we
will
talk about it. Soon.”

She walked away without a word.

Arms folded across her chest, Juliana watched as Evan took aim at the target and fired off a shot. The ping of the bullet against tin reached her ears, and she knew he’d hit it dead on. As she’d suspected, he was a good aim. Now it was her turn.

They’d chosen this cool, quiet meadow because it was a good distance from camp and the noise wouldn’t bother the children or the horses. A tranquil place, Juliana would’ve liked to stretch out in the grass and relax amid the lilacs and daisies. Instead, she stepped to the spot he’d vacated and waited as he strung up a new target.

Juliana had managed to keep her distance from him during supper and cleanup, but she knew better than to
expect him to drop the subject. He wasn’t a man to let an issue fester. Once a matter came to his attention, he wanted it settled.

She checked her weapon. Everything was in order.

Evan came striding back, his long legs quickly eating up the distance. He stopped in front of her. “Are you ready?”

“I am.”

He moved to the side, putting enough space between them so as not to crowd her. She felt his gaze on her, and with difficulty she tamped down her sudden nervousness. She was used to people watching, just not this particular person. She realized his opinion mattered a great deal.

Raising the gun to eye level, she focused on the target with one eye open and one closed. Then she squeezed the trigger. Again the loud ping reached her ears, and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

Evan whistled as he approached, admiration in his gaze. “I’m impressed, Irish.”

The tension left her body and, confidence in its place, she tossed out another challenge. “How about we do it again from farther away?”

His eyebrows darted up. “Are you sure you wanna do that? I’ve had lots of practice the last couple of months.”

“Very funny,” she retorted with a toss of her head. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think I could pull it off.”

His hands braced on his hips, he leaned in close. His familiar clean scent wafted toward her. “Tell me something. If this is a competition, then what’s the prize? What are you willing to give me if I win?”

Evan’s nearness stirred her senses. She stood her ground, however. “Assuming you win, what is it that you want?”

His brilliant blue eyes dropped to her mouth, lingering there before ever so slowly lifting to meet her gaze once more. “One kiss.”

Juliana felt as if she would melt into a puddle at his feet. Swallowing hard, she unconsciously licked her lips. “And if I win?” she croaked.

“Name your prize.”

She couldn’t think with him so close. “I don’t know.”

He flicked a gaze at her hair, still in a haphazard ponytail. “I could always braid your hair for you as I did the night of the rainstorm.”

Juliana thought back to that night, recalling all too well the intimacy created by such an act. No matter who won, the outcome would be the same. Too much closeness for her peace of mind. It would be foolish to agree and, yet, she was tempted. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms.

“If I win, you teach me to cook.”

“You’re on.” A lazy grin curled his lips. “I’ll be right back.”

Her heart rate sped up as anticipation set in. He changed the target again and returned. “Are you sure you don’t want to go first?”

“No, thanks. You go ahead.”

Evan walked about fifteen paces past the first spot, turned on his heel and sought her approval. “Far enough?”

“Looks good to me.”

He took his time, judging the distance with his eyes before lifting his arm to aim his weapon. Again, his aim was true. Juliana moved into position, wiping her damp palms down her skirt. When all was ready, she lifted her gun. At the same instant that her finger put pressure on the trigger, a bumblebee buzzed past her ear and she
jerked. The bullet strayed a few inches to the left, missing the tin can altogether.

Disbelieving, she stood there, the gun still in her hand at her side. Evan rushed over. “What happened?”

“It was a bee.” Feeling the heat rushing to her face, she couldn’t meet his eyes. He probably thought she had lost on purpose. She sheathed the gun in its holster.

He chuckled. “A bee, huh?”

A thought struck her. She lifted her face to his. “How about giving me another chance? If it hadn’t been for that bee, I could’ve made the shot.”

He stroked his chin, as if considering her request. “Uh-uh. I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” she demanded.

Evan stared at her, all amusement fading. His voice dipped. “Because. Bee or no bee, I won, and I want the kiss you owe me.”

Juliana’s pulse accelerated and she struggled to breathe. She felt light-headed, and her knees threatened to buckle. “You’re not playing fair,” she accused in a whisper.

“
I
didn’t send that bee.”

He closed the distance between them and tugged her against his muscular body. His hands gripping her waist, he swooped down to cover her mouth with his own. He gave her no time to resist. Her hands splayed against his chest. Beneath her palm, his heart pounded fast and hard.

His soft lips moved over hers with insistence, coaxing and tasting until she couldn’t think, only feel. Emotion left her weak, and she leaned against him for support. She slid her hands up and locked them around his neck.

He emitted a low, guttural moan. His hands moved up her back, and he pressed her even closer. He deepened the kiss, and trembling, she clung to him.

Evan became her anchor. In the haven of his embrace, she felt safe, cherished and more alive than she’d ever felt before. Pushing aside her reservations, Juliana kissed him with abandon, willing him to feel the depth of her love.

When he abruptly broke off the kiss and set her away from him, she nearly cried out in protest. His chest heaved as if he’d run a mile, and she could clearly see that he was fighting an inner battle. With a searing glance, he strode to where he’d left his hat. Retrieving it from the ground, he settled it smoothly on his head and walked back, stopping several feet away.