The Reluctant Outlaw (Love Inspired Historical) (19 page)

“That’s it?”

“What else do you want me to say?” She splayed her hands wide.

A muscle jumped in his jaw. He shifted from one foot to the other, an expression of indecision on his handsome face. How she wished she could read his thoughts at that moment.

Especially when he flung his gloves on the table and strode across the room. Juliana was too shocked to move or speak. What was he doing?

He stopped directly before her, his body crowding her back against the cupboard. Not daring to meet his gaze, she allowed hers to roam over his neck and shoulders. The top two buttons of his shirt gaped open, revealing the smooth hollows of his throat and the rapid beat of his pulse.

With deliberate movements, he cupped her neck and eased her face up with slight pressure from his thumbs. As if in slow motion, he lowered his mouth inch by excruciating inch. Perhaps he was giving her a chance to protest. She couldn’t. She craved his kiss.

When at last his lips brushed against hers, a sigh of contentment escaped her. He eased back and his blue eyes, hazy with need, sought permission to continue. In answer, Juliana lifted her mouth, and he met hers once again in an unbearably tender kiss.

Overwhelmed by his need for her, Evan forced himself to go slow. Her lips clung to his in sweet innocence as he explored her generous mouth.

Holding her in his arms, Evan entertained thoughts of forever. The thought of leaving her weighed heavy on his heart. If he were completely honest with himself, he’d own up to the fact he didn’t want to ever let her go.

When he abandoned her lips to rain kisses along her jawline and the sensitive spot beneath her ear, her swift intake of breath stopped him in his tracks. Lifting his head, he gazed into her green eyes. That one look was all it took. With an abruptness that startled her, he set her away from him and strode across the room. If he didn’t put some space between them, he wasn’t sure what he might say or do.

“Goodbye, Juliana.”

Slamming the front door, he bounded off the porch and hurled himself into the saddle, burying his heel in Lucky’s flank.

J
uliana stared at the door. He was gone. Without a single word. How could he kiss her as if she were the most precious thing in the world and then turn around and leave like that?

She rushed to the window and pulled the curtain aside. There was a cloud of dust in the distance, but she couldn’t make out his form or that of his horse. She lingered there until the dust settled and the spark of hope that he’d turn around and come back flickered out. He wasn’t coming back. Not today, anyway.

Emotions running high, she turned back to the kitchen and attacked the pile of dirty dishes. She was shaky and weak, her lips still tingling from his kiss. His scent lingered in the air, which only intensified her misery. She tried to pray, but the words simply wouldn’t come. So she said the only thing she could manage.
Jesus, I need You.

When she finished cleaning the kitchen, she went to the bedroom to retrieve Evan’s Bible. She needed to read those reassuring words and hear her Savior’s quiet voice. Nearing the bed, she spotted a small brown package tied up with white twine. There was a note attached with her name printed neatly across it.

Juliana stared at it for the longest time. What had Evan left for her?

With trembling fingers, she picked up the white paper. It fluttered open in her hands. She stared at the tidy black script and imagined him seated at his desk composing the letter.

Laying aside the note, Juliana slid the bundle close to the edge of the bed and untied the string. She lifted the brown paper, a tiny sigh escaping her lips at the sight of the luxurious fabric. The dress wasn’t blue at all. Instead, it was the same lush, vivid green as the forest. The same hue as her eyes. Which was the reason he’d chosen it, she supposed.

Holding up the dress, she saw that it was very similar in style to her other one, with a fitted bodice, full sleeves and pleated skirt. Eager to see how it fit, she quickly undressed and slipped it over her head. The smooth material felt wonderful against her skin. Twirling in a circle,
the skirt billowed around her legs before swishing back into place. Perfect.

If only Evan were here to see her in it. With a sigh, she sank down on the bed and picked up the note, reading his words until she had them memorized. She missed him so much it hurt.

How would she ever get through the days ahead?

Evan was so lost in thought that he nearly rode straight past Luke’s place.

Slowing the big black to a walk, he approached the cabin and dismounted.

He didn’t bother knocking. Luke looked up from his place at the table, surprise registering on his face.

“Morning.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Want something to eat before you head out?”

“No, thanks.” He went over to the table and sat down opposite Luke. “I came to remind you to keep an eye on Juliana.”

“Do you want me to go over there at lunchtime or wait until the afternoon?”

“Thomas will be around during the day, so why don’t you go around suppertime? She doesn’t know how to cook. Could you rustle up something simple?”

Luke’s brows shot up. “I thought every woman knew how to cook.”

For some reason, Luke’s reaction set his teeth on edge. He was immediately defensive. “Apparently not. Don’t mention it to her, okay? She’s touchy about it.”

He held up his hands. “My lips are sealed. I’ll make it appear as if I’m just being neighborly.” A speculative gleam entered his eyes. “We’ve known each other a long time, Evan. I’ve never seen you act this way, which tells
me this girl is special. Tell me the truth. Are you in love with her?”

Evan’s gaze fell away. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Luke fingered his chin. “Oh. Then you won’t mind if I court her? In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve always been partial to redheads.”

He
had
forgotten. The thought of any man—family or no—looking at Juliana with romance on his mind set his blood boiling. “Don’t even think about it,” he said through gritted teeth. “She’s off-limits.”

Luke drew his head back. “Well, if you don’t want to pursue her, why can’t I?”

Evan glared at Luke. He got the feeling his cousin wasn’t truly interested, but was testing him. Standing abruptly, Evan rocked the chair back; it would’ve crashed to the floor if he hadn’t caught it. He strode to the window and looked out. Streaks of pink and orange brightened the horizon. He didn’t need this right now. Time was slipping away. Still, something held him back.

“Or do you really want her for yourself?” Luke moved up beside him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You love her, but you don’t want to admit it. To yourself or anyone else.”

He shook his head, irritated with himself, his cousin and the conversation. “You wouldn’t understand.” He ignored the little voice inside that said it was too late.

Luke’s hand settled on his shoulder. “Don’t let fear ruin your chance at happiness.”

Unwilling to listen to reason, Evan pushed past him. “I have to go.”

“Still running, I see.”

Evan stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around. “I’ve got a job to do.”

“Why don’t you let the law handle it?”

“This is personal, and you know it.”

Sorrow etched his features. “I lost James, too. I grieve for him just as you do. Every day. You two were the brothers I never had. And I’ve been mighty worried about you, Evan. I’ve spent many nights by my bedside asking God to keep you safe and bring you home where you belong.”

“You’re right.” Shame and guilt coursed through him. “I was so caught up in my own grief that I didn’t stop to think how James’s death had affected you. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I know you didn’t do it intentionally.”

“Thanks, Luke.” Evan made to leave. “Would you mind continuing those prayers? I have a feeling I’m gonna need them.”

Evan had been on the trail about an hour when he suddenly changed direction. As much as he hated to prolong his absence, he couldn’t shake the feeling something or someone awaited him in Knoxville. It wasn’t that far out of his way, and he would stay just one night.

James’s murder had happened in the outskirts of the sprawling city, and if there were any witnesses to be found, they’d most likely be there. Shortly after his brother’s death, Evan had spent two weeks frequenting saloons and gentlemen’s clubs, searching for information. It was in one of these saloons that he’d overheard Cliff Roberts and his men boasting about a large amount of cash they’d lifted from an unsuspecting traveler.

But in the eleven months he’d spent with them, he hadn’t been able to get his hands on a single piece of evidence. Nor had he gotten any of them to talk. Sometimes he had the scary thought he had the wrong group of
outlaws. That another gang was responsible for James’s murder, and he’d wasted nearly a year of his life.

No, his mind rebelled. He had the right gang. He could feel it in his gut. But how long could he live like this? How could he ever leave Juliana and go back to living a lie?

He prayed for guidance. He also asked God to lead him to the right place, to help him find evidence so that he could finally bring those responsible to justice.

The sun was setting when he entered the city, down near the waterfront. Mostly men loitered on the street, some searching for entertainment, some for trouble. Normally, Evan wouldn’t frequent this part of town, but he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for among the upstanding citizens of society.

He dismounted near Lucy’s Café, unhappy about the prospect of eating in the greasy establishment. But he didn’t want to waste time searching for a reputable eatery. He just needed something to fill his stomach so he could get on with his search.

A half hour later, he exited the place with a bad case of heartburn. With a sigh, he headed down the street toward his first stop for the night—the Red Rose Saloon. The moment he stepped inside the dark, smoky room reeking of unwashed bodies and stale liquor, he knew it was going to be a long night.

Juliana stood with Lucas Harrison on the front porch of Evan’s cabin. He was eyeing the darkening clouds with some concern.

“Looks like we’re in for a storm. I’d better head home before it lets loose.”

“Thank you for the lovely meal.” She smiled over at him. “You’re a wonderful cook.”

Evan’s cousin had arrived a few hours earlier with a whole chicken for them to share. He’d also brought green beans with bacon, corn on the cob, and those light-and-fluffy biscuits she liked so much. There were enough leftovers to feed her for a week.

At first she’d been self-conscious in his company, but he’d quickly lightened her mood with silly jokes and more stories of his and Evan’s childhood pranks. Luke was a kind man with a good sense of humor. He was also handsome. She’d found herself wondering which of her sisters would be a good match for him.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” he interrupted her musings, his eyes twinkling. “My mom taught me everything I know about cookin’. I’m real glad she did, too, since I don’t have a wife to cook for me. I’d hate to eat beans and corn bread every night like some bachelors I know.”

Juliana merely smiled and dipped her head. She wouldn’t pry.

He dropped his hat on his head. “You know where to find me if you need anything. You can trust Thomas, too. He’s a good kid.”

As he descended the stairs, she walked to the edge of the porch. “I’m glad you stopped by, Luke. You helped get my mind off things.”

He stood next to his horse, his expression serious for the first time that night. “Don’t worry. Evan will be back as soon as he can manage it.”

She hoped he was right. Thunder sounded in the distance, and she felt a spatter of rain. “You’d better hurry.”

He climbed into the saddle. “Remember, keep your eyes and ears open. And don’t go anywhere without your weapon.”

Juliana nodded, thinking he sounded a lot like Evan at that moment. “I’ll be careful. Good night.”

He lifted his hand in farewell. She waited until he disappeared from sight to go inside.

She slid the lock in place and walked to each of the windows, pulling the curtains closed. Lightning flashed in the distance. Suddenly, the rain pounded on the rooftop and battered the windows. The dirt turned to mud within seconds.

She doubted Luke made it home in time to stay dry.

Once she had lit the kerosene lamps, she retrieved her coffee and got comfortable on the sofa, her thoughts consumed by Evan. Where was he? Was he safe? Well or ill? Was he thinking of her and, if so, what were his thoughts?

A loud crash near the back of the house brought her to her feet. Heart hammering, she hastily set down her coffee mug and reached for her weapon on the side table. Nerves on high alert, she gripped the gun handle and forced her feet to move toward the bedroom door.

Her mind raced with possibilities. A fallen tree limb? A lightning strike? Or something more sinister… She couldn’t be sure if the sound had come from outside the house or inside.

When she reached the doorway to Evan’s bedroom, she regretted not grabbing a lamp. Shadows lurked in the corners. Squinting, she was barely able to make out the outlines of the heavy furniture.

Her blood roaring in her ears, she stood stock-still, half expecting someone to jump out at her. Nothing happened. Exhaling, she crept toward the windows she’d forgotten to cover.

When she reached the first window, she peered out into the inky darkness. Flashes of light illuminated the yard. She couldn’t see any fallen limbs or overturned barrels. She slid the curtain in place.

As she rounded the bed and neared the second window, she noticed a hairline crack in the glass, so tiny it was barely visible. Bending over to get a closer look, she touched the tip of her finger to the cold pane. Strange. She hadn’t noticed that before.

In that moment, lightning split the sky just as thunder cracked directly above her head. She screamed and jumped back, her hand pressing against her heart.

The sky went dark again. She blew out a breath.
You’re being silly, Juliana. There’s nothing out there. You’re letting your imagination run wild.

Setting the gun on the side table, she reached for the curtain. As her fingers closed over the material, the sky brightened once more. There, near the barn door, stood a man.

Juliana froze. No. Couldn’t be. Was she seeing things? She closed her eyes. When she opened them, darkness once again shrouded the outbuildings.

Feeling ill, she wrenched the curtain closed, grabbed her gun and ran back into the living room. She extinguished all the lamps except one.

Adrenaline pumping through her body, she hurried up the ladder to the loft. She crouched with her back against the wall. Up here, she would have a clear view of the front door. She extinguished the light, plunging the cabin into utter darkness.

If and when Lenny Fitzgerald walked through that door, she would be ready. Waiting.

At two in the morning, Evan left the saloon on Collier Street, his eyes gritty from cigar smoke and a bad taste in his mouth. Sharp disappointment settled on his shoulders. He’d struck out. A dozen saloons. Countless questions. No answers.

Lord, I know You want justice for James as much or more than I do. I don’t know where to turn. I could use some help here.

He was beyond tired. Weariness seeped into his bones. And he missed Juliana. He was lonely without her.

Despite the late hour, men—most of them drunk—still milled about the street. Evan mounted Lucky and pointed him toward the hotel where he would sleep a few hours before making his way to Gatlinburg.