The Rules of Regret (7 page)

“
Would it help to know that we
’
ve had three guys all my size on this
rope at once before?
”

“
Since I haven
’
t gotten to the trusting you part
yet, no, not really. I
’
d
need to see that for myself.
”

“
Close your eyes. Sometimes it
’
s easier to see with your eyes
closed.
”
Torin
’
s
voice was unusually soothing given the circumstance. It surprised me anything
could lessen these nerves that crawled through my body. I felt them scurrying
across every surface of my skin, their ant-like tickle making me shiver.
“
Lift your right arm
—
just like that, you
got it
—
and
now place your right foot onto the wire.
”
I begrudgingly did as I was told and felt the bend of the suspension rope under
the tread of my shoe. I decided to make up my own spell
—”
Hocus pocus, keep
my focus
”—
just
in case the whole wizard speculation might actually be true.

“
Now do the same with your other hand
and foot.
”
I kept my eyes shut and slid both hands and feet onto the rope. I wobbled back
and forth, but managed to correct myself by tightening my grip on the overhead
wire.
“
Now
you can either shimmy toward my voice or you can place one foot in front of the
other and walk toward me, but I suggest you open your eyes if you choose to do
that.
”

Since
opening my eyes was out of the question, I crept my way across the rope, inch
by unsteady inch, until the sound of Torin
’
s
voice got louder, like we
’
re
within normal talking range. I didn
’
t
dare to open my eyes until I felt his breath on my skin and smelled him right
under my nose. Just like his voice and his eyes, he had a comforting scent
—
some kind of spice
that reminded me not of cologne, but of something in my mom
’
s potpourri dish back home. Whatever
it was, it eased my anxieties and encouraged me to take one more step forward
until I bumped straight into him. The ropes swayed against the impact and Torin
hooked an arm around my waist to steady me.

When
I opened my eyes, he was staring straight down at me with his wide, green gaze.
All at once the reality that I was suspended in the trees like a bird on a
power line flooded my senses and I sunk under his grasp, my legs giving out
from under me like they were mush.
“
Steady,
Darby. You
’
ve
got this.
”
With an arm still secured around me, he slid forward to the platform and I
clung to his back, not letting go even when I had two feet firmly planted on
the wooden surface.
“
You
did it!
”
Torin spun around and threw me a high five.
“
See? Not so bad.
”

“
It kinda was so bad.
”

Torin
reached up to unhook my carabineer from the wire and reattached it onto another
rope at the other side of the tree that sloped down at such a steep angle it
could only mean it was a zip-line. He tugged on it twice to ensure its safety.
“
I don
’
t think he
’
s cheating on you, by the way. A
relationship that
’
s
endured six years
—
most
of them teenage
—
can
easily survive a six-week sabbatical.
”
He clipped his own hooks onto the rope right behind mine.
“
Plus, you seem like a nice girl,
Darby. Aside from that ass comment and possibly being a touch crazy. But I
’
m chalking that up to nerves.
”

“
Thank you, I guess.
”

“
You
’
re welcome.
”
Torin nodded and propped his hands
on his hips. His jeans were low enough that the waistband of his boxers peeked
out above them.
“
So
do you want to do this on your own, or tandem?
”

“
Tandem.
”
I said quickly, my knees unlocking
again. This lack of control over my own muscles was getting really aggravating.
“
I find it difficult to do things by
myself.
”
And that was true; though I was surprised I had so readily admitted it.

“
I don
’
t think that
’
s the case, Darby. You came here on
your own.
”
Torin shoved his hands in his pockets coolly like he was just waiting for the
bus. A bus that apparently picked up its passengers in the sky. Was there
anything that made him uncomfortable?

“
I came
here
so I could go
there
.
”
I pointed a finger at the ground
below and then in the air, indicating Washington D.C.
“
This is a means to an end for me.
”
I tightened the base of my ponytail
and prepared my body for the weightless sensation I knew was inevitable.

“
I hope this turns out to be more than
just that.
”
Torin
’
s
face fell slightly and I thought I saw a shadow of hurt sweep through his eyes.
They were cloudier than before and it kind of made me feel guilty, knowing that
my statement was responsible for them looking that way.
“
I know you come from a big family,
but I don
’
t.
And even though I tell myself each time I won
’
t let it happen, all of the
counselors and campers end up being that to me
—
my family.
”

Suddenly,
unexpectedly, he wrapped both arms around my waist. My breath hitched and when
he pressed his chest against my back, it was such a weird feeling
—
to be this close to
a boy that wasn
’
t
Lance. I wanted to pull away, but realized I just asked him to do this by
saying I wanted to ride the zip-line together rather than separately. That was
all this was.
“
Always
recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as your means to
an end.
”
Like before with his weird
Princess Bride
imitation, Torin searched me for some sort of recognition.
“
Immanuel Kant? The German
philosopher?
”
 

“
I know who he is,
”
I said, gripping Torin
’
s arms as he scooted us to the edge
of the platform. My toes hung precariously over the wooden plank.

“
I think if you look at this
experience in that light, you
’
ll
leave with more than just $600 in your pocket after you
’
ve put in your six weeks.
”
Torin tugged me closer to him and
hiked one leg around my waist, readying to push off with his other. All the
blood rushed away from my brain and left me lightheaded and disoriented, and I
wasn
’
t
sure if it was from the fact that I
’
d
soon be sailing to my possible death, or the reality that this guy
’
s warm body was pressed so closely to
mine.

“
I don
’
t know if I want more than these six
weeks,
”
I whispered, pulling a long breath through my nostrils. I was sure he heard me,
but if he did, he ignored it as we slid off the platform and sped down the
length of the wire, the fringe of the forest whirling past at dizzying speed
until our feet met the ground below after just a few seconds of free-fall.

I
pressed up on trembling legs, and when Torin
’
s arms stayed wrapped across my body,
even after he unclipped the hooks from the rope overhead, I knew without a
doubt that all I wanted was for this experience to be that means to an end. I
didn
’
t
need more family members
—
between
my own and Lance
’
s,
I had an abundance already. I had enough blaring TV stations to have my own
cable company.

And
I honestly didn
’
t
even need any more friends. All I truly needed was the money. Even if it wasn
’
t one for Torin, this whole
experience really was just a way for me to get from point A to point B.

Unfortunately,
it might be a bit easier to make the journey had I been assigned a different
partner.

CHAPTER FIVE

The
blare of the bugle jolted me out of slumber and my body reacted instantly,
popping up vertically at the startling sound of the wakeup-call horn. As things
would have it, the reality that I
’
d
tucked myself into a bunk bed last night took a moment to make itself known,
and when it did, it was in the form of warm blood spilling down my forehead. I
reached up toward my hairline and felt the thick gash resulting from the
contact with the metal bed frame hovering overhead. Crap. That was going to
leave a mark.

I
found some Kleenex in the adjoining bathroom and held it to my head as I
dressed and got ready, but the blood quickly seeped through the folded over
sheets, staining my hands. Though I hated to admit it, this was going to need
some medical attention.

There
was a map on the inside of the door and I located the medical quarters on it.
From the looks of it, I figured it was just next to the Rec Hall. I knew where
that was, probably the only place I actually could find my way to. Slipping out
of my pajamas and into cut-off jean shorts and a light green t-shirt, I started
to make my way that direction.

It
was another cool June day and I wondered if this temperature wasn
’
t actually unseasonable, but just how
it was in the woods. It sort of felt like home, how the peninsula always stayed
chilled despite the rest of California
’
s
tepid temperatures. But it was about the only part of this whole camp thing
that reminded me of home, and even that was a significant stretch.

When
I got to the medical room the door was already propped open with a brick and I
could hear hushed voices on the other side. They were talking about test
results and counting out months until the holidays, and I didn
’
t want to interrupt them because it
felt a little like intruding. But the blood that tinged the handkerchief pressed
to my forehead didn
’
t
leave me much of an option. I rapped on the door with my knuckles, hating that
I had to break into their conversation all because I was a clumsy mess.

“
Come on in,
”
a friendly voice answered as loud
footsteps echoed across the ground. The door stretched open more and Ran stood
on the other side. Maggie sat on some type of medical bed, her legs swinging
over the edge. When she saw me, she rushed over to stand behind Ran
’
s shoulder.

“
Darby?
”
Ran asked, pulling the cloth from my
forehead. His piercing blue eyes examined the slice at my hairline, but I was
totally distracted by his mouth. His lips were perfect, almost unreal. I
thought for a moment how unfair it was that they hired such an attractive medic
because I was already beginning to feel dizzy at the sight of the blood
trickling down my face. Having someone that looked like Ran as the medical
staffer just exacerbated that spinning sensation. It was unfair on all kinds of
levels, like I was a glutton for punishment.

“
What did you do?
”
He lowered his eyes to mine.

“
Sat up too quickly. Hit my head on
the bunk.
”
My pulse began to throb under the injury and the headache that formed
accompanied its rhythm.

“
You had a tetanus shot recently?
”
Ran asked as Maggie took my hand to
walk me to the cot that she was sitting on earlier. I lifted myself up onto it
and Ran grabbed a bottle and some gauze from a shelf lined with medicine at the
far wall.

“
Yeah,
”
I grumbled.
“
I think last year.
”

Ran
tilted the bottle upside-down as he paced back toward me, hiking a leg up onto
the bed.
“
Good,
”
he said, then hesitated as he drew
the gauze up to my face. That hesitation could only mean one thing.
“
This might sting a little.
”

I
grit my teeth rather than bite my lip, and was glad I chose that option because
it stung much more than just a little, and I probably would have gnawed
completely through my lip had my teeth been pressed into it. It felt like a
branding iron pushed against my scalp, the burning sensation affecting at least
three layers of skin, I was sure. I sucked in a searing breath and counted to
ten as I closed my eyes to endure the sudden pain.

“
Sorry,
”
Ran said as he tore open a butterfly
bandage. Maggie
’
s
face held an empathetic grimace as he pressed the sticky side to my forehead,
rubbing his thumb against it. It reminded me of Sonja
’
s ability to naturally show sympathy
and instantly filled me with the slight nausea of homesickness.
“
You lucked out
—
don
’
t need stitches. But this will
probably scar. Since it
’
s
so close to your hairline, it really won
’
t
be noticeable.
”

“
What
’
s going on?
”

My
stomach and body jumped at the unexpected sound of Torin
’
s voice. He stood in the doorway at
the back of the room and had close to a dozen backpacks looped across both of
his arms, the slight sheen of sweat coating his brow, his cheeks reddened with
exertion. When he saw me, he dropped everything to the ground and hurried over
to my bedside, like maybe he was actually a little worried about whatever it
was that brought me to the medical office. At least that
’
s what it felt like. At least that
’
s what I hoped it was.
“
What did you do, Darby?
”

I
jumped again. Why was I so jumpy?

“
I hit my head,
”
I groaned, which was quite
appropriate to do because it really did hurt like hell.
“
On the bunk beds.
”

“
Ahhh.
”
Torin nodded like wasn
’
t the first time he
’
d heard this.
“
Well,
”
he said, thumbing his chin in a
small circular motion. He cocked his head just slightly to the right.
“
This makes you look kinda hard-core.
I was gonna suggest some ink like Tara
’
s,
but you can hold your own with a gash like that.
”

“
How do you know I
’
m not covered in tats already?
”

“
I don
’
t see any,
”
he said, squinting an eye and
scanning me up and down. His eyes hung a little too long below my collarbone
where I, of course, wouldn
’
t
have any tattoos, so it was glaringly obvious he was using it as an excuse to
check out my nearly nonexistent rack.

“
Maybe they
’
re all covered up,
”
I suggested, for whatever reason I
wasn
’
t
sure.
“
Maybe
I have more ink than the Bic Pen factory coating this freckly skin of mine.
”

Torin
laughed unrestrictedly.
“
Well
if that
’
s
the case, I
’
d
love to see it. Go for it, strip down and show us this masterpiece you boast
of.
”

I
ignored Torin. Ran chuckled quietly, slipping my hair behind my ear to pull it
away from my forehead.
“
Come
back in tonight, and I
’
ll
get a clean bandage on this for you.
”

“
No can do. Tonight
’
s the overnighter. If she needs a
bandage, she
’
ll
have to take it with her.
”

Ran
flipped around to face Torin. They were eye level, and even though they looked
nothing alike
—
Ran
with his dark hair and Torin with his dirty blond
—
they both were equally attractive and
I couldn
’
t
decide who was better looking. There was something classic, yet equally bad-boy
about Ran, and despite Torin
’
s
overly casual demeanor and mildly unkempt appearance, they were both intriguing
in their own right.

I
sat there for a few minutes rating them. Ran had a perfect mouth but Torin had
those irresistible dimples. They were both built
—
Ran probably more so with Torin just
a bit on the leaner side. Ran had a strong jaw, but Torin
’
s permanently rosy cheeks won out
over that. I shook my head and scolded the irrational thoughts away. I shouldn
’
t be concerned about the looks of
other guys, much less about judging who was hotter like they were competing in
some pageant they don
’
t
even know about. How hard had I hit my head?

“
Overnighter?
”
was all I managed to squeak out
through the mess of hormone-laced thoughts running laps through my brain.

“
Yeah.
”
Torin motioned toward the ground
littered with backpacks.
“
Tonight
is our survival run-through.
”

“
That
’
s what the backpacks are for?
”

“
Yep. I came in here to stock them.
”
Torin stood at the wall with the
rows of bottles and bandages and gathered an armful of supplies.
“
But Maggie and Ran will stay back. We
need to have a medic on the grounds at all times, and everyone that goes out
for the overnighter needs a partner.
”

“
I
’
m fine hanging back,
”
Maggie said, exchanging a look with
Ran. I wondered if they wanted company. If being the third wheel got me out of
a night alone in the forest with Torin, I
’
d
happily volunteer for that tricycle position.

“
I can stay back if we need more
people at camp,
”
I said, pressing my palm to my forehead. The bandage was doing a good job of
keeping it from opening and the sting from earlier was now completely gone.

“
Nah Darby, you
’
re with me.
”
Torin unzipped the backpacks and
slipped medical supplies into them. From what I could see, he placed a few
Band-Aids, an ace wrap, and some packets of gauze into each.

I
nodded my head, figuring I wouldn
’
t
get out of it that easily, but it was worth a shot.

“
Would you mind helping me carry these
to the Rec Hall?
”
Torin looked up at me under a lock of hair. He flicked his head to sweep it
back instead of using his hands, which would have been more effective. I never
quite understood the use of the neck to do things the fingers were meant for.
Like calling a waiter over or requesting the check or waving at a friend. A
head nod seemed like weird stand in for jobs that were created for fingers.
“
We need to pass them out to the other
counselors.
”

“
Yeah, sure.
”
I hopped off the cot and draped
several packs across my arms just like Torin had them arranged when he walked
into the room.

I
found it hard to believe that whatever I needed to survive a night in the woods
was contained inside these bags. I was pretty sure I would need a U-Haul full
of equipment. In reality, that might not even be enough. I think I was totally
semi-truck status.

In
fact, I found it hard to believe there was anything that might help me survive
this summer at all.

***

“
Watch out!
”
Torin yanked me by the wrist,
pulling me back onto the path before my leg brushed against the feathering
plants lining it. I jerked to the side with his sudden movement and narrowly
missed the patch of greenery he pointed to.
“
Poison oak.
”

“
Seriously?
”
I said, shaking my head.
“
I
’
m not cut out for this.
”