The Rules of Regret (4 page)

“
Do we get to pick partners?
”
a girl with tight, ringlet-like corkscrews
that could rival Shirley Temple
’
s
asked hopefully. I couldn
’
t
help but notice her eyes fall on the boy to my left. Maybe she had a thing for
ratty looking guys with horrendous posture and weird close-sitting tendencies.
To each his own.

“
You
’
ll be partnered with the person
sitting next to you,
”
Curtis explained as he refastened the walkie-talkie to his Levi
’
s belt loop.
“
Maggie and Ran,
”
he continued, looking down at a
couple in the front row,
“
since
you are only with us for the first three weeks of camp, you
’
ll partner together.
”
They both nodded, though I was
pretty sure they had some type of partnership already. I couldn
’
t help but notice the smiles and
quiet laughter they
’
d
exchanged throughout the orientation. Watching them interact made me homesick
or withdrawl-y or whatever it actually was, and I longed for Lance, or maybe
just the familiarity of our daily routine. I was grateful this new couple would
only be here a portion of the time, because I didn
’
t think I could survive six weeks
without insane amounts of jealousy turning me green and distracting my focus
and my attention.

Curtis
stepped down from the low platform and began weaving through the three rows of
rickety aluminum chairs, pairing off counselors as he went. He stopped in front
of me and then looked to the boy at my side.
“
Tor and Darby, you
’
ll be a team.
”

Tor.
Why did that sound familiar?

The
boy dipped his right shoulder and angled his head back.
“
Howdy partner,
”
he said, extending a hand toward me.
It was gloved in shabby gray yarn and the tops of all the fingers had been
haphazardly cut off so they unraveled at the edges. I took hold of his hand,
squinting to recollect where I
’
d
heard that name before.

“
Tor?
”
I asked, lifting my brow.
“
Torin Westbrook?
”

“
In the flesh,
”
he smiled, two dimples piercing his
unusually pink cheeks that looked as though he
’
d been out skiing on a sunny day
without the protection of sunscreen. His lips matched their rosy color, like if
he were a girl, he would have intentionally done his makeup in a way to make
them like this. Aside from that, nothing about him was feminine at all. No, he
was quite literally a rugged bundle of tattered clothing, broad shoulders, and
long, shaggy hair.

“
Nice to put a face to the emails,
Darby.
”
He smiled and revealed a sliver of a gap between his upper teeth. If mine had
been that small and moderately charming like his, I probably would have opted
out of that embarrassing year of braces as a seventeen-year-old. It was funny
how what might be considered an imperfection to some people, could look
absolutely perfect when it was on the right person.
“
You
’
ll be happy to know we have an
abundance of Lucky Charms on hand at the dining hall with your name on them.
”

“
Oh.
”
I smiled, chuckling slightly. I
tugged my hand from his grip, but Torin
’
s
still hovered in the space between us. I thought about swatting it away because
having it suspended there made me nervous, but just laced my own fingers
together instead.
“
Just
because I
’
m
Irish doesn
’
t
mean I like Lucky Charms.
”

His
green eyes grew into silver dollars like I just admitted to committing some
egregious crime.
“
But
they
’
re
magically delicious!
”
He laughed again and tugged on the drawstrings to his worn sweatshirt, pulling
it back and forth through the hood. His jeans had holes at the knees and he
wore shoes identical to his mom
’
s,
which would be endearing if he were four, but he wasn
’
t four, so it just seemed a little
silly.
“
Do
you have any questions about anything my dad covered?
”
Torin lifted his chin toward the
stage as if to recall the past hours
’
worth of instructions in one swift motion.

“
I have a lot of questions. The first
one being: what on earth am I doing here?
”

“
Well,
”
Torin said, looking down at his
nails rather than at me. He had the aloof, indifferent act down pat.
“
My first guess is you needed the
money. Judging from your email, I bet you have plans to spend that money on the
flight to visit your boyfriend.
”
He ran the pad of his thumb over his nail bed.
“
The second guess is that you
subconsciously want a challenge. And you
’
ll
definitely find that here.
”

“
One out of two isn
’
t so bad,
”
I said, shrugging.
“
Unless you count it percentage-wise,
and then in that case you get 50%. Which is an F. Which is honestly as bad as
it gets. So it
’
s
actually pretty bad.
”
The rest of the paired-up counselors started to filter out the door, but Torin
didn
’
t
look like he had plans to go anywhere the way he was slouched down into his
seat. He looked quite at home.

“
I
’
ve never been too good in school,
”
he laughed, suddenly bolting upright
with his palms pressed to his thighs.
“
So.
Want a tour?
”

“
You know this place pretty well, I
gather?
”
I shadowed Torin as he stood and walked out through the Rec Hall doors, his
gloved hand catching the handle to hold it open for me. The sun beat down overhead,
but there was still an unexpected chill in the mountain air, which seemed odd
for June.

“
You could say that, considering I was
born here.
”
He kicked a rock across the parking lot and it hopped like it was skimming the
surface of a pond before it wedged against the base of a truck
’
s tire tread. Boys like Torin didn
’
t exist back at home and I didn
’
t quite know what to make of him, or
how to even act around him. I tried to envision him decked out in the Ralph
Lauren styled threads of the guys I usually hung around with, and the thought
made me giggle silently to myself.

“
You were born here?
”
I said, hoping my words would mask
the fact that I was laughing at him.
“
As
in, this is your home?
”

Torin
swiveled to face me, but continued walking, just backwards with long,
intentional strides. I figured he really knew this place like the back of his
hand if he was able to blindly guide his way around.
“
Yessiree. Mom and Dad started this
camp back before I was born. Used to just be an adventure camp, but we changed
the focus seven years ago after my older brother committed suicide.
”

I
blanched. Any other comments that were waiting to fall out of my mouth hung
back in my throat. I swallowed them down quickly, tasting the bitterness of
each syllable. That was a lot of disclosure from someone I
’
d only known five minutes. All he
knew about me was that I might like Lucky Charms, which I actually didn
’
t, so he really didn
’
t know anything at all. But I
suddenly knew he had a dead brother. I thought about opening up to him a bit,
but decided against it, still too stunned to really speak.

Torin
picked up on my hesitation and smiled cautiously.

“
Don
’
t feel bad,
”
he said, continuing his backward
movement.
“
Reinventing
the camp was a huge part in their healing process. I can
’
t even begin to tell you how many
lives it
’
s
probably helped.
”
He ran his gloved fingers through the length of his blond hair. It was that
awkward stage where it looked like he was due for a haircut by the way it
curled around his ears and hung on his neck, but judging from the rest of his
overly-casual look, I guessed this was the way he liked it. I actually kind of
liked it, too.
“
We
get dozens of letters every year from campers and parents that say Quarry
Summit saved them. Feels like we
’
re
using Randy
’
s
death for good, you know?
”

“
Yeah,
”
I said, my breathing still unsteady.
Maybe it was the altitude. Or the withdrawals.
“
I
’
m so sorry, Torin. I honestly had no
idea.
”

He
winked, which caught me completely off-guard. Not necessarily the winking part,
but the part where it made my stomach flip-flop. I hadn
’
t been ready for that type of
visceral reaction.
“
You
should have done your research, fancy pants Ivy Leaguer. It
’
s in our mission statement.
”

“
The term Ivy League refers to an
athletic conference, not academics. Stanford
’
s a Pac-12 school.
”

“
Gotcha. I thought it meant something
else,
”
he said, thumbing his chin in the slight little divot that made it a little
like a butt chin, but much cuter than the ones I
’
d seen before.
“
I do not think it means what you think
it means,
”
Torin recited in a strange, foreign accent. I gave him a puzzled look and he
lifted his hands in the air as he shook his head dubiously.
“
Princess Bride?
”
He tilted toward me, awaiting my
reply. I offered him a blank stare as my only response because that was all I
had.
“
Inigo
Montoya? You killed my father? Prepare to die?
”
I shook my head, totally clueless,
and you would have thought I
’
d
just admitted to not knowing the Pledge of Allegiance. Apparently this Inigo
fella ranked pretty high in the necessary repertoire of common knowledge.

Torin
smirked wryly.
“
So
I
’
m the one that grew up on a secluded
mountaintop, but you
’
re
the one that sounds like you were completely robbed of your childhood.
”

“
In more ways than you know.
”
Wow. That was totally cryptic, so I
added,
“
I
was only robbed because we had eight childhoods going on at once. Mine just got
thrown into the mix. Kinda like trying to watch eight TV shows on eight
different TVs at once
—
each
story blends with the other and it all just becomes a cacophony of chaos.
”

Torin
held back to wait for me to walk the few feet to catch up with him and then he
resumed his pace at my side, facing forward this time. I wasn
’
t sure where we were going, but I
followed.
“
You
’
re one of eight? That
’
s crazy.
”
His eyes were wide.
“
And you seem a little crazy, too, you
know that? Attending such a prestigious school, but not knowing the entire
script of Princess Bride? Total crazy status.
”

We
rounded a turn and headed down the incline past the cabins that dotted the
hillside. A thick line of trees skirted the structures, and I could see wires
that hooked between each of them like tightropes in the sky.
“
It
’
s only seven now.
”
I kept my eyes held to the ground.
“
Only seven kids in my family, I mean.
”