The Scarlet Thread (50 page)

Clanton and Carolyn began spending more and more time

with Alex. They’d come home from school, scarf down snacks,

rattle off some news, whiz through their homework, and take off

for
his
condo. She began wishing she’d said
no.
She missed the

sound of their voices, even the strident ones when they were

fighting. Sometimes she resented how eager they were to be with

him, and then she was always struck with guilt afterward. Sometimes she found herself aching with loneliness.

Is it a sin, Lord? You’re supposed to be enough. I love you. I do. Help me

to accept these changes and not be so jealous and needy. Help me to know in

my heart you are sufficient. Help me rest in you.

Choir helped. On those evenings, she and the children walked

to church together and then went out to a family café afterward

for a late dessert. Sunday was the one precious day a week, for

she had the children all to herself. They went to church early and

didn’t get home until almost one in the afternoon. After a late

lunch, she walked back to church with them so they could take

part in the youth activities and she could attend the evening

Bible study.

Gradually, she felt less alone. She used the time the children

were away to study and finish all the little projects she’d laid out

for herself but never had time to do. She turned on the radio and

listened to a Christian station that played contemporary rock,

free to sing along without anyone listening to her but the Lord.

Christmas drew closer. Rather than be elated, she was depressed. All her shopping was done, the packages wrapped and

hidden in her bedroom closet and under the bed. The children

knew better than to go poking around in her room after

Thanksgiving. She’d begun addressing Christmas cards the first

week of December and had started her letters. She always wrote

to everyone. It was the one time a year when she could catch up

on all the news from friends and family.

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Ron called again. “You sound a little down.”

“I’m writing Christmas letters, and I get a little depressed

every time I have to write, ‘Mom died of cancer, and Alex and I

got a divorce’ over and over again. Just the sort of glad tidings

friends like to read at Christmas time.”

“Would a proposition help cheer you up?”

Her mouth twitched. “That depends.”

“Strictly honorable, I assure you. I’m having a Christmas

fund-raiser at the Hyatt Regency, and I’m in desperate need of a

pretty hostess.”

“To serve drinks and appetizers?”

“No. To stand beside me and greet guests, the kind of guests

who have lots and lots of money and love giving it to good causes

like Los Angeles Outreach.”

“Are any movie stars going to be there?” she said, teasing.

“A few.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I take it you might be interested.”

She feigned hesitation. “Well, I don’t know. Is Mel Gibson

attending?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t—”

“I’m begging.”

She laughed. “I’d love to help out and you know it. How

dressed up do I have to get?”

“Very. I’ll be in a tux.”

Ron gave her the details. He would pick her up early. The

fund-raiser included a full-course dinner and dancing. “It’ll go

until the wee hours,” he warned her.

Clanton was just going out the door when she hung up the

telephone. “Honey, would you tell your dad I need to talk to

him? It’s important.”

The telephone rang a few minutes later. “What’s up?” Alex said.

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“Spend the night? Where are you going to be?”

“At a fund-raiser with Ron. He said it’ll be late before I get home.”

“I haven’t got any extra beds.”

He sounded so cold. “Maybe I can borrow a couple of sleeping

bags.” Maybe he had made other plans, plans she didn’t want to

hear about. “Never mind, Alex. I should’ve thought it through

before asking you. Carolyn’s been wanting to spend the night

with Susan, and Clanton can always go to—”

“I’ll stay with them over there,” he said firmly. “We’ll do something fun for the evening, and I’ll wait at your place until you get

back.”

“It’s going to be very late, Alex.”

“You’ve got a comfortable sofa.”

“Are you sure?” He sounded less than pleased about the whole

thing.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Taking a deep breath, Sierra called Audra and told her she’d

been invited to a formal fund-raiser and was going to be acting as

hostess. “I need to find a dress.”

“How much can you spend?”

“Don’t even think about Rodeo Drive.”

“What size are you?” When Sierra told her, she said, “Great.

You can borrow one of my gowns. When can you come over?”

By the time Sierra got there, Audra had already picked out the

dress she thought Sierra should wear. After seeing the others, Sierra had to admit she liked it the best. It was a deep red velvet that

fit her perfectly. “I bought it for a Christmas party four years ago

and never wore it,” Audra said, admiring it on Sierra. “My feet are

a little bigger than yours, but I know just where you can get some

satin pumps and have them dyed to match,” she said while snapping on a gorgeous necklace that glittered like diamonds.

“These aren’t real, are they?” Sierra said, fingering it.

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“Zirconia. Stop sweating.” She handed her matching pierced

earrings and then helped her snap on the bracelet. Stepping back,

she looked her over. “Perfect. It looks better on you than it did on

me.” She went back into her closet and came out with a fur coat.

“Not on your life!” Sierra said, backing up. “Absolutely not,

Audra. If I damaged it or it got lost, I’d kill myself.”

“I thought you were going to say something about all the little

animals that lost their lives to make it.”

“Well, that, too,” Sierra said, making a quick calculation. It

would take a lot of cute little minks to make that coat.

“That’s what I told Steve, but men just don’t think about those

things when they’re trying to show the world how successful

they are.” She carried it back into the closet. “I wear it to the opera once in a while just so he won’t get upset about it. No one harangues me there. Oh,
good!
I knew I bought something to go

with that dress.” She came back out with a red velvet, satin-lined

cape. She draped it over Sierra’s shoulders and took a step back.

“Take a look at yourself.”

Sierra did, and her mouth dropped open. She looked like

someone else, someone who’d stepped out of a fairy tale. “I remember feeling this delight as a little girl up in the attic dressing

in grown-up clothes with my best friend.” Laughing, she looked

at Audra in the mirror. “What do you think?”

“I think you look fantastic. Does Alex know you’re going to

this affair with Ron Peirozo?”

“He’s babysitting.”

Alex came early on the night of the fund-raiser. She’d told him

Ron was picking her up at five, and he arrived an hour early.

“Mom, Daddy’s here.”

“Ask him if he’d like a soda, honey. I’ll be down in a little while.”

Nervous and excited, she had already bathed and was fixing

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dabbed on Shalimar before she stepped into her dress. Slipping

into the red satin shoes, she put on the jewelry. She was ready

half an hour before Ron was expected.

“Mom, you look so
pretty!”
Carolyn said as she came into the

living room.

Sierra smiled, gratified that at least one person in the room noticed the change in her. Alex just stared at her. He didn’t say anything. What had she been hoping? That his mouth would fall

open and his tongue loll out? She put the red cape carefully over

the back of a chair.

“Where’s Clanton?” she said as she laid her gloves and a red,

beaded purse Audra had found on top of the cape.

“Brady’s,” Carolyn said. He was a friend Clanton had met at

church who happened to live in the complex. “He said he’d be

home in a few minutes. He’s borrowing a video game. Are those

diamonds, Mom?”

“No, honey. I wouldn’t put my toe out the door if they were.”

Carolyn looked at her father. “Don’t you think she looks

pretty, Daddy?”

Blushing, Sierra avoided Alex’s eyes.

“Sí, su mama está muy hermosa,”
he said softly.

Her heart tripped as she looked at him. She looked into his

eyes and saw he meant every word.

Carolyn picked up her backpack and headed for her room.

Sierra turned, tensing. “Where are you going, honey?”

Carolyn glanced at her dad. “I’ve got some homework to do.”

“Tonight?”

“Just for a while. Daddy’s taking Clanton and me to Magic

Mountain. I guess I should take a bath, too.”

Sierra looked back at Alex and saw the sad smile touch his

mouth. “She was watching
Parent Trap
a few days ago.”

She put her hand over her stomach. “Great,” she said dully.

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He noticed the gesture. “Are you nervous?”

“A little.” Less about going out with Ron than she was seeing

that look in Alex’s eyes. She let out her breath and came around

the chair to sit down. The hatch-cover table was between them.

She liked having something between them.

Alex’s eyes narrowed slightly. “How well do you like this

guy?”

This guy?
“Ron’s one of my best friends.”

“How does he feel about you?”

She blushed. “Why are you asking?”

“You quit working for him. I’m curious why.”

She almost told him it was none of his business. Considering

his own behavior, he had a lot of nerve to ask
any
questions. Instead, she curbed her anger and decided to be honest. “I left because I knew if I stayed, I could end up in an affair with him.”

Alex’s eyes darkened, not with anger, but pain. “The way I did.”

“I don’t want to talk about the whys and wherefores of you and

Elizabeth, Alex.”

“Neither do I. I want to talk about you.”

“What about me?”

“You look . . . radiant,” he said heavily. “Are you in love with

this guy?”

There it was again, that tone. Was he baiting her? “I was
in love

with you, Alex,” she said before she thought better of it. She

paused, drawing in a steadying breath. This situation was impossible! “I don’t think I’ll ever feel like that again about anyone.

And if I did, I think I’d run as fast as I could to get away from it.”

“The way you ran from Peirozo.”

She could feel the prick of tears and fought them. “Are you deliberately trying to spoil my evening, Alex? I
like
Ron. He’s kind

and fun. I’m looking forward to this evening. I’ve never been to

anything like this. I just want to enjoy myself. Don’t you think I

have that right?”

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