The Scarlet Thread (49 page)

the equipment. It’s already ordered. All I need is a place to put it.”

Why hadn’t he made the same arrangements a year ago? It

might have saved their marriage.

She caught the direction of her thinking and halted. If she condemned him, she’d have to condemn herself. Everybody has

20/20 hindsight. She could see her own mistakes with

heart-wrenching clarity.

“I’ll make it easy, Sierra. A simple yes or no. Yes: I sign the

lease. No: I don’t.”

She wanted to say no. She wanted to avoid more pain. She

wanted to avoid seeing him with other women. She wanted to

avoid seeing him at all. She knew that was impossible. And if she

said no, how would the children feel when they found out? Angry? Betrayed? They loved him. They wanted to see their father

as often as possible. How could she be selfish and deny them that

right? Besides, they
needed
him.

“I haven’t said anything to the children,” he said quietly, “and I

won’t if your answer is no.”

She was touched by his sensitivity. It was one of the things

that had made her fall in love with him in the first place, that and

his male machismo, as her father once termed it.

“Go ahead and sign the lease.”

His dark eyes took on a familiar glow before he looked away.

“Can I use your telephone?”

She frowned slightly, uneasy. “It’s over there.”

Pulling a business card from his shirt pocket, he wasted no

time punching the number. “Roberta Folse, please. Roberta?

Alex Madrid. The answer is yes. How soon can you take care of

the details? Good.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll meet you there

in about thirty minutes.” He dropped the receiver lightly into its

cradle.

Turning his head, he smiled at her. Her stomach dropped the

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same way it had the first time he’d looked at her.
“Gracias,”
he

said.
“Las cosas serán más fáciles.”

She forced a smile in return, thinking how wrong he was.

Things would not be easier. At least, not for her.

“I’ll give the children a call later this evening. In the meantime,

you can tell them I’ll be moving into one-sixteen early Wednesday morning.”

When he left, she groaned aloud and buried her head in her arms.

“Oh, Lord, it’s going to be a hundred times worse than I thought.”

Alex would be only three doors away.

I never expected You to send a heathen to answer

my prayer.

But I reckon You do things however You please.

An Indian came to the edge of our meadow

today. Beth saw him first and thought he was a

mighty strange looking deer. Well, I saw he was

not a deer at all, but a man dressed up in skins

and a deerhead mask. He had a bow and arrows

and stood watching us intently. Hank was all for

getting the gun, but I said we would wait to see

what he would do. Besides, what good is a gun

with no ammunition.

I remembered what Kavanaugh told us about

the land belonging to the Indians and how we

should give back something for the privilege of

traveling through. Well, we are going nowhere,

Lord. So I wondered what that Indian was thinking while he stood there looking at us. I wondered

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without asking first. So I told the children to stay

by the wagon while I went to see if I could make

peace with him. I know a few signs from having

watched Kavanaugh.

I could not offer the Indian a bite of food to eat

as we have no food for ourselves. The Indian was

of small stature, muscular, and has dark eyes and

hair. I could not guess his age. He did not know

what I was waving about, so I offered him the

only thing of real value I own—the pretty cross

necklace Aunt Martha gave me when I left

Galena. He was well pleased by the gift but did

not know how to work the clasp. I helped him.

He disappeared into the woods and I thought that

was the end of it. It was not.

He came back again later carrying a small deer,

fresh killed. He laid it at my feet and made it clear

it was a gift. I wept as I thanked him. Before he

left us, he made his name known to me. Koxoenis.

From his gestures and pantomime, I think it

means Bringer of Meat.

I am weeping again. I am so undeserving and

yet You have provided food for me and my family. We will not starve after all. The children are

at this moment asleep with full stomachs for the

first time in many, many days, and I have You to

thank. You sent Koxoenis.

All hope was lost and is now revived in me again.

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Joshua returned today with beans, salt pork,

flour, coffee and powder, shot and lead. We are

living with abundance. I told him about Koxoenis.

He is very eager to meet him. I asked if he had

seen Kavanaugh. Joshua said no. One of the

men said Kavanaugh headed north to Oregon.

Koxoenis came back today. I was pleased to see

him. He stood at the edge of the meadow until we

waved an invitation for him to come to us. I think

he is shy. Joshua made signs that he was welcome

to share our supper. He ate sparingly of our bread

and would not accept even a small portion of the

venison he brought to us. When we finished, he

motioned for us to follow him. He did not go more

than a hundred feet from our fire when he used

a digging stick he was carrying to pull up some

plants. He gave them to me and made signs that

the roots and leaves are good to eat. With a shy

smile, he ran off into the woods again.

All this time we were so hungry and food was

growing within reach.

Lord, I am having Terrible Trouble with Joshua.

He is Intent on Doing Something! He keeps

talking about looking for Koxoenis or going to

Sutter’s Fort or down to Monterey. He wants to

go his own way whatever way that might be. He

is not the boy I know him to be and he is not the

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in my heart and gut.

It has gotten me thinking how much Trouble

I have been to You.

I am Truly Sorry, Lord.

I remember how full of Wrath You were at

those Israelites You brought out of Egypt. They

kept whining and fussing and complaining like

Joshua does now. And like I was doing before

the Day of the Bear. I remember too how You

wanted to wipe all those Israelites off the face

of the earth, but Moses begged You not to.

Well, Lord, I know just how You feel

because I wanted to wipe Joshua off the face

of the earth today. He made me so mad I was

shaking with it. I said things I should not have

said. But maybe that was better than what

I wanted to do. Lord, if I had had a cane

I would have beat him with it. He was none

too happy with me either.

How can you love someone so much and still

get so mad you want to kill them? I saved his life

fourteen years ago. And today I was in the mood

to take it.

Joshua is not much help to us, Jesus. He

would rather be at Koxoenis village learning their

ways than staying here and helping us in ours.

Would You please Do Something with him,

Jesus?

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I give him to You cause if I don’t, I swear that

boy won’t live to spring.

Koxoenis came back today. He was curious about

the wagon. I wonder what kind of house he lives

in. I showed him inside our poor makeshift abode.

Then I offered him fish stew, bread, and coffee.

I said to the children it would be interesting seeing where and how he lived. Joshua said he will

go with him and find out. I said if Koxoenis welcomed him, he was free to do so. Joshua made

sign language with him and they went off

together. They have been gone all day, but I have

no fear my son will come to harm. You sent

Koxoenis to us and he has proven to be a kind

and generous friend. I think Joshua will have

much of interest to tell us when he returns.

Joshua said Koxoenis lives in a village several miles

southwest of us. He said the others were frightened

when they got there and spoke harshly to Koxoenis

for bringing him. I suppose there is good reason.

When I think of the way the poor Indians were

treated at Sutter’s Fort, I shudder. Sutter fed them

in troughs like animals and used them like slaves.

Joshua said Koxoenis has a wife and two small

children who run naked wherever they please. He

said his house is made of bark, bound tules, and

mud and is weather tight and warm inside. His

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stirring hot stones! The chief has a great store of

food stuffs and gives generously to the people.

Koxoenis showed Joshua other foods that grow

around us. Joshua said he will teach Hank, Matthew,

and Beth how to find these plants come daylight.

Joshua and Hank have been digging all day. Joshua

said Koxoenis’s people dig down two feet and build

the dome house over the pit. He can build this house

in a few days while it will take weeks of effort to build

a cabin. Our duck cover is torn and leaking. We need

shelter from the cold California rain.

Joshua has made a pole frame work over the pit

and is covering it with tiers of bark and tules. He

has the boys and Beth mixing mud. Thankfully,

we have had two days of easier weather. The

clouds lie over the ground like a blanket.

We are now living in a hut like Koxoenis and his people. I wonder what Aunt Martha would think of me

living like a savage. I must admit living in this hut is

far better than living in our wagon. We moved in as

the rains started again, and we are dry and warm.

Thank You, Lord, for putting a roof over our

heads again.

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22

couple of swivel rockers. He bought a whole wall setup with a bigscreen television and stereo, and you should see his computers!”

Carolyn was more impressed with the white rats he’d purchased for her and kept at his place. “They’re so cute, Mom. I call

them Peaches and Cream. They’re both males, so we won’t have

any babies.”

“Well, that’s nice.”

“And he has an aquarium. Just a little one for some pretty

goldfish.”

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