The Season: Rush (Austin Arrows #1) (35 page)

Kingston

My chest hurts.

It actually feels like something is squeezing my heart. Or perhaps it feels like there’s an anvil sitting on my ribs. One way or the other, the pain makes me aware of every breath I take.

Ellie texted me this morning to let me know she was going to meet James today. I didn’t ask where and she didn’t offer. I think I should have. It’s been five hours since she was scheduled to meet him. I want to call her, but I don’t. Rather than simply ask, I’ve been sitting on my back porch, staring out at the lake for the past two hours. A million questions have gone through my head during that time. And it’s a broad spectrum of worries making my head ache.

What if James wants to be Bianca’s father? I could totally understand that. Bianca’s a great kid and Ellie’s a great mom. Any man would be proud to be part of that.

Will Ellie decide that the best thing for Bianca is to be with the man? I can see that happening. It only seems natural.

What if James
doesn’t
want to be Bianca’s father? Let me tell you, any man who would not want to be that kid’s father is an idiot. Total fucking moron. And the
only
reason that could happen would be if the guy refused to get to know her. He wouldn’t get to find out how smart she is. Or how funny. Or how she’s got the sweetest giggle and that she likes banana splits with M&Ms on top. He would never know how bright her smile can get because he didn’t get to witness her fifth birthday when she received some sparkly princess dress and her eyes lit up as big and bright as the sun. He would never know how sweet she can be because he wasn’t around when she insisted that Spencer and I both take her to the father-daughter dance when she was eight.

The thought of him not wanting anything to do with her makes rage burn through me, and I want to punch the bastard in the face. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t know how it’ll play out. I can’t even pinpoint what I want.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I want Bianca to be happy. I’m sure finding her father and establishing a relationship with him would be the best thing for her. Provided, of course, that he’s good enough to be her dad.

I want Ellie to be happy, too. I’m sure she’s stressing about how this will work out. It pains me knowing that she was shocked by James’s appearance in her life. I honestly thought she knew about the post. I feel like a jackass for not bringing it up sooner. I could’ve saved her from that surprise. I know how much she detests them.

The thought of Ellie and James building a relationship in order to take care of their daughter makes me want to puke. The pain shoots through my chest again, my heart constricting. I don’t want to lose her, but I can see how this could be a good thing for her and Bianca.

Part of me wishes he’s a douchebag and makes Ellie hate him. That would be more beneficial to me. I could come in and pick up the pieces.

If only it were that easy. The problem with that is I don’t want Ellie or Bianca to be hurt by this man. I want them to be happy. No matter what that means for me.

On the other hand, what if he really does want to experience all that? To see how great Bianca is. What if I don’t get to be part of that anymore?

It’s a selfish thought, I know. And it’s not something I really want to contemplate right now.

My phone vibrates on the table. I reach for it and hesitantly glance at the screen.

Ellie:
I met with James. It went well. Better than I thought it would. He’s a nice guy and he’s willing to do this at my pace.

I stare, not sure what I’m feeling. Although I want to be cold and unaffected, it’s not happening. Not with Ellie. I’ve spent the last two months falling in love with her. No. Actually, I think I’ve spent the last sixteen years falling in love with her. If only James would’ve showed up two months ago, I think I could’ve walked away.

Kingston:
Glad it went well.

Ellie:
I was wondering if you’d want to come over tonight.

I don’t respond right away. I try to convince myself that staying away from her is the right thing to do. When that doesn’t work, I try to convince myself that my body craves hers and that’s all this is. If we keep this about sex, I might get through it. Why shouldn’t I reap the benefits? That was our agreement, right?

Kingston:
Depends.

Ellie:
On?

Kingston:
What are you wearing?

She doesn’t answer me back for several minutes. I wonder if I’ve pissed her off.

Ellie:
Depends.

Kingston:
On?

Ellie:
Are you coming over or not? If you are, I’m wearing nothing. If you aren’t, I’ll keep my leggings and my sweater on.

Damn. I like the idea of her naked and waiting for me. Okay, not completely naked.

Kingston:
Keep your panties on. But nothing else.

Ellie:
Okay. And so you know, Bianca’s spending the night with Gabby, so we’ve got the house to ourselves.

Very good to know. It makes it even easier to pretend this is nothing more than a booty call. Which it is. Definitely.

Kingston:
Thanks for telling me. Now I don’t have to worry about how loud I make you scream my name. I want you to be playing with your pussy when I get there. Can you do that for me, Ellie?

Ellie:
Mmm-hmm

Kingston:
Good girl. I’m on my way.

Ellie:
There goes the sweatshirt. The leggings are next.

I don’t even bother to grab a coat as I make my way out to my truck and head over to Ellie’s.

I’m sure I break more than a few traffic laws on the way, and it doesn’t bother me in the least. Maybe this isn’t going to be the love that lasts a lifetime, but for now, it can certainly be the lust that sets off the smoke
alarms.

45

Ellie

Lying in my bed, I stare up at the ceiling, nervously waiting for Kingston to arrive. I did as I told him I would. I removed all of my clothes with the exception of my panties. When he first made the suggestion, I was a little nervous. Then, when I crawled on the bed and slipped my hand beneath them, my room suddenly got warm. The more I thought about him, the warmer it got.

I definitely don’t mind where he has taken tonight. I think his head is in the same place mine is right now, and I’m happy about that. After my meeting with James today, I’ve been an emotional wreck. I haven’t confronted Bianca about the Facebook post yet, and I know I can’t until I’m willing to introduce her to her father. Which I’m not. Not yet, anyway.

So, the fact that Kingston didn’t drill me about how the meeting went was perfect. Him turning this into something sexual was even better. I know that’s what I’m supposed to want from him. After all, that was the agreement. I would be his pretend girlfriend for the sake of his reputation, and during the course of our time together, he is going to kinkify me in exchange for having to dance on my bar. So far, he’s held up his end of the bargain, but tonight I need something that will take my mind off everything. The kinkier, the better.

Kingston:
I’m about to open your bedroom door. You better be fingering yourself.

My breath hitches as I read the words.

I don’t answer, but I’m smiling when my bedroom door opens. Granted, my smile disappears the instant his eyes rake over me. The way he looks at me warms me to my very soul. His gaze meets mine first, then slowly trails down my body, pausing where my hand is working beneath the red lace of my panties.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, turning to lock the bedroom door.

Heat churns through me, making my thighs squeeze together. I work my index finger over my clit, moving in slow circles. I’m worked up simply from his text messages, so I’m trying to hold back. I feel a little vulnerable as I lie here while he’s completely dressed and observing my masturbation session. It’s unnerving and fiercely sexy at the same time.

A rustle of noise has me glancing down, noticing the plastic sack in his hand for the first time.

“What is that?”

His smile is wicked. “I brought toys.”

Oh, damn. “What kind of toys?” There’s a slight tremor in my voice, and my nipples have betrayed me.

Kingston’s eyes drop to my nipples and I watch as he swallows hard. He doesn’t answer my question, but he does toe off his boots before crawling on the bed beside me. I go for the bag but he pulls it out of my reach.

“Keep fingering your pussy, Ellie. I want to watch.” The sense of wonder in his voice makes my inner muscles clench.

The plastic rustles and I watch patiently as he pulls something out. It’s a blindfold, and I don’t have to ask how this night is going to go.

“I think you read my mind,” I tell him, staring up into his dark eyes.

“How so?”

I swallow hard. “I don’t want to think tonight.”

His smile is devious. “Little girl, I can definitely help with that.”

When his mouth meets mine, I reach for him, pulling him down until his shirt is brushing my chest, the soft cotton tormenting my painfully erect nipples. My tongue slides against his as he works the blindfold over my head. I don’t bother to stop him. I don’t want to stop him. The idea of him having his wicked way with me turns me on like nothing else.

The kiss lingers but ends far too soon for my liking. It’s almost as though Kingston is holding back. I could be imagining that, though.

“You trust me, Ellie?” he whispers, his breath fanning my lips.

“I do,” I assure him.

“Good.”

He reaches for one of my wrists, lifting it above my head. “I’m not going to restrain you, but I want you to keep your hands right here.”

He places my fingers on the wooden spool in my headboard. There are two of them, so I reach for the other with my free hand and gladly hold on to them.

“If you move your hands, I’ll stop.”

“Is that a threat?” I tease.

“It works twofold. If you want me to stop, take your hands down. If you let go, I’ll take that to mean you don’t want any more.”

I can’t imagine not wanting more. I don’t care what he has in mind. I’ve been thinking about him all day. Even when I was talking to James, I thought about Kingston. I wished I could’ve invited him to go with me to the mall. I wish I could’ve had him there by my side. I probably would have, if I didn’t think it would’ve been weird. And it would’ve been weird.

Kingston has always been my friend. We’ve had some interesting conversations in the past, but nothing that bordered on emotional. Even during the time we’ve been having sex, we’ve kept it relatively safe. I think that’s what Kingston is hoping for. He doesn’t want to get too close to me, and I can understand that. This is only pretend. Even if the sex is very real and my heart pounds when I think about him, it is still pretend. I’m only allowed to expect orgasms, not love.

I simply have to remember that.

The plastic bag rustles again, and I hear him laying things out on the mattress beside me. I wish I could see what he has, but in the same sense, I don’t. I want to be at this man’s mercy tonight.

A groan escapes me when his fingertip glides over my nipple. He follows the sensual touch with an erotic pinch that makes my clit pulse with need. He continues to apply pressure until I gasp. A sudden shocking warmth envelops my breast, and I realize he’s using his mouth.

“Oh, God,” I whisper, the words nothing more than a barely audible plea for more.

I lay there, reminding myself not to let go of the headboard while he works his hands and his mouth over my upper body. I want to beg him to go lower, to put that exquisite tongue to good use, but I refrain. I don’t want to do anything to make him stop. Based on the blindfold and him not allowing me to use my hands, it seems to me that Kingston wants to be in charge.

Little does he know, I want him to be in charge, too.

More than I want anything else.

Kingston

When I came up with the idea of blindfolding Ellie, I thought it was a good one. As I continue to tease her with my tongue, I’m not sure that’s the case anymore. I want to see her eyes. I want to witness the way she watches me when I pleasure her. But I did this for that very reason. I need something to sever the connection I have with Ellie. Something to temporarily provide me with a little relief.

Sex is fantastic. Sex with Ellie is better than fantastic. I want to give her pleasure in ways she could never imagine, but again, that connection I have with her makes it so much better. And though she’s blindfolded and she isn’t using her hands, I can still feel it. I’m trying to put some emotional space between us, but I don’t think it’s working. Not for me, anyway.

I draw her nipple into my mouth, working the hardened point with my teeth while she moans softly, her back bowing off the bed, urging me to give her more. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. In fact, I yank my shirt over my head so I can feel her skin against mine.

It’s a wonder I haven’t come already. Just walking into the room to find her nearly naked and waiting for me… My dick sprung a leak as soon as my brain registered what my eyes were witnessing. The woman is so goddamn sexy.

Ellie’s thighs part, and I recognize the inaudible request for me to go lower, so I do. I taste her skin, inhaling the scent of strawberries as I go lower, navigating her body like it’s a topographic map. My tongue glides over the gentle swell of her breast, onto her ribs, then down into the valley of her belly, dipping into her navel as I head down, down, down.

With one finger, I slide her panties to the side, revealing her smooth, hairless mound to my hungry gaze.

“Kingston…” Ellie’s body jerks when I blow a puff of air against her lower lips.

“Spread your legs wider. Knees out.”

Ellie moans softly, doing as I instruct.

“Damn, that’s pretty.” I lean forward and glide my tongue over her soft skin, sliding over her outer lips, not wanting to give her more than she can handle. I take my time, sucking her into my mouth, then alternating to the opposite side. I love watching the way she glistens as I work her body with my mouth and fingers. Only when she’s breathing hard do I trail my tongue through her slit, lightly grazing her clit.

“More…”

I peer up to see her knuckles are white because she’s holding on to the headboard like it’s a lifeline. I work her with my tongue some more while I open the vibrator I brought with me. We haven’t used toys up to this point, so I was relieved to see the anticipation in Ellie’s green eyes. She wants this as much as I do.

Actually, I
need
this. I don’t merely want it. I need a distraction. Every time I look at this woman, I think of all the things I could lose. Never have I felt this way for anyone. Ever. And in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone.

I won’t survive.

So, why am I doing this to myself? Because I’m selfish. Selfish and unable to let go. This woman fucking owns me. She owns every single fucking part of me. What she chooses to do with it is up to her.

“Kingston…”

I can’t resist kissing her again, so I crawl up over her lithe body and meld my mouth to hers. That’s one of my favorite things to do to her. I get to breathe her in and taste her at the same time. I get to listen to her breathy cries for more as our mouths part momentarily.

“God, Ellie,” I breathe against her mouth. “I can’t get enough.” I’ll never get enough.

After I muster up a tremendous amount of willpower, I pull away and grab the vibrator I placed on the bed earlier.

“Turn over. On your stomach.”

Ellie releases one hand and flips over without question. The fact that she trusts me that much adds fuel to the lust already blazing a trail through my veins. I yank her panties down to her thighs, my hands instantly gliding over the soft skin of her ass. I love her ass. I want to worship her ass.

Knowing I won’t be able to resist taking her like this, I quickly disrobe and grab the lubricant from the plastic sack before tossing it on the floor.

“On your knees, baby.”

Ellie pulls her knees up under her, her head on the pillow, chest against the mattress. She’s open and ready for me, her pink folds glistening in the golden glow from the lamp.

“You ready, Ellie?”

“God, yes.”

Pulling her panties the rest of the way down her legs, I slide them off her, then force her knees apart by nudging them with mine. I position myself between her legs, staring down at the beautiful sight. Her perfect ass is open for me, begging for my attention. After adding a generous amount of lube to the slim vibrator, I drizzle some over her asshole.

“Oh, God,” Ellie moans. “Kingston…”

“Remember,” I say, “if you want me to stop, let go of the headboard.”

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

Stroking my dick with one hand, I tease her asshole with the tip of the vibrator. I gently work it in slowly, not pushing in far, but enough to have Ellie begging for more. By the time I’ve inserted the thing a few inches, I’m drenched in sweat, trying my fucking best to hold back. Fucking her ass with the toy is… Fuck. I’m hanging by a thread. It’s so fucking hot.

So.

Fucking.

Hot.

Ellie moans loud and low when I turn on the vibration.

“Kingston… Oh, God… Please…” Her head thrashes as she pushes back against the intrusion. “More. I need more.”

Within seconds, my dick is buried to the hilt in her pussy and she’s screaming my name. Her strangled cries echoing in the room cause my dick to pulse, and I have to remind myself we’re not done yet. I watch her hands, making sure she hasn’t let go. I don’t want to hurt her. Quite the opposite actually. I want to give her the type of pleasure she never imagined. I want to give her the kind she’ll never experience with another man. I want her to never want anyone but me.

I continue to fuck her, alternating long, deep strokes in her cunt and quick, shallow thrusts in her ass.

“Do you like that?”

“Yes… Hell yes.”

She begins thrusting back against me, taking me deeper.

“That’s it, Ellie. Take what you need.”

I hold my hips still, allowing her to impale herself on my dick. The sensation is fucking exquisite. Her wet pussy squeezing me, sending electrical sparks straight to my balls.

I turn up the vibration on the toy and hold it in place while I fuck her hard, pumping my hips, slamming against her ass as she drives back against me.

“Kingston… I’m… Oh, fuck!”

I had wanted to drag this out all damn night, but the instant her pussy clamps down on me, I’m unable to hold back. I slam my hips forward one last time and come deep inside her. It’s only then that I realize I’m silently praying that God doesn’t take this woman from me.

I’m not sure I’ll survive it.

I’m not sure I’ll want to.