The Secret of Life Wellness: The Essential Guide to Life's Big Questions (41 page)

this image strong and vibrant. Become aware of how good you feel. Go forward into

the future and focus on six months from now. See yourself loving your exercise

program, being consistent, and looking amazing. Take a few deep breaths. Envisage

people you meet telling you how great you look. Sense your confidence increasing.

Come back to the present and relax your index finger and thumb.

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(Whenever you need motivation during the day, press your thumb and index finger

together and visualize the perfect you inspiring you to be healthy.)

I also have an audio program called
Lose Weight Fast
, which contains several

processes that you may like to work with.

Move Your Body

If you have a few extra minutes, stand up, put on some music, and shake your body vig-

orously for forty seconds. Then slow down and rest for twenty seconds, taking slow,

deep breaths. Repeat this exercise five times. This helps activate your metabolism and

increases blood circulation. This is also a great exercise for anyone with circulation

problems.

Perform a Mudra for Weight Loss

This is an amazing mudra, or hand gesture, to help stimulate your metabolism, immune

system, and weight loss. It is also fantastic for any kind of sinus or respiratory

condition. You can hold it for two minutes and up to twenty minutes to help you lose

weight and become healthier. A great time to utilize it is when you are waiting for

someone or watching television.

Clasp your fingers together, except the thumbs. Lift your right thumb towards your

head. Touch your thumb and index finger of your left hand together, encircling your

right thumb.

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20

How You Can Heal a Broken Heart

I have just broken up with my partner and I feel lost, lonely, sad, and heavy

hearted. Even though the relationship wasn’t working, at least I was somewhat

comfortable. Now I’m dealing with the breakup, which makes me very

uncomfortable, and tense and uncertain of how to go on.

Most people go through an experience of rejection or heartbreak at some point in

their life. Usually it is a time of confusion, deep emotional pain, and chaos.

While it is easy to blame the other person and close your heart, in this chapter, I

encourage you to learn from the past, discover a balanced point of view, and find out

how love and support is coming into your life in a new form. You have an opportunity

to grow and develop from this experience, and become a wiser person who can attract a

more suitable relationship into your life.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

No matter how difficult a relationship, breaking up often brings up feelings of loss, sad-

ness, grief, loneliness, and uncertainty. It is also common to feel a mixture of anger, fear,

rejection, internal conflict, hurt, and disbelief. All the plans and dreams that you had

suddenly begin to disintegrate. Thus, this phase can be excruciatingly painful,

emotional, and confusing.

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It can be easy to stay in a relationship that is not working because it is all you know.

Feelings of guilt, responsibility, and fear of the future can keep you stuck. When you

make a decision to move forward, you will experience discomfort of the unknown. This

is where you have an opportunity to review your beliefs and attitudes about yourself,

your life, and your relationships. It is a chance to rediscover your own inner strength,

heal past wounds, and make new, empowering decisions about the future.

I suggest that you give yourself time for internal exploration and work with the

healing processes at the end of the chapter. If you harbor negative feelings toward your

ex-partner, then work with the cord clearing process from the chapter on creating har-

mony in your relationships (see page [XX]).

As this is a very emotional experience, you may also like to experiment with the

emotional release process from the first section (see page [XX]).

Surrounding Yourself with Support

You need to be particularly gentle with yourself during this time. It is important that

you are surrounded by people who love and support you. Many important decisions

may have to be made; however, you also need time to express your emotions. It is essen-

tial that you do not close up and numb yourself.

It may be helpful to write down your feelings, cry, exercise, be creative, and have

some healing treatments that can balance your emotions. A relaxing massage, reflexol-

ogy, acupuncture, aromatherapy, chakra balancing, emotional release therapy, or other

forms of healing treatments can be soothing.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your friends or family about your breakup or

don’t have anyone close around, consider having some counseling sessions. A great

counselor can help you acknowledge your feelings and give you a new point of view on

your situation.

Supporting Your Children

If you have children, make sure that you talk with them and help them deal with their

disappointment, sadness, or hurt. It is vitally important to explain to children that your

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decision to separate with your partner was not their fault, as children often blame

themselves when their parents separate. Make sure you don’t talk negatively about you

ex, or future ex, with your children. No matter how bad you feel about them, you do not

want to put your child in a position where they have to choose or feel conflicted. If the

relationship was extremely abusive and you are concerned about your child’s safety, then

you must take all the important precautions.

Be aware that your child will have their own relationship with your ex. Having a

healthy bond with both parents is extremely important for a child’s mental, emotional,

and physical well-being as well as their ability to have nourishing relationships with

others when they get older.

Learning from the Past

A positive attitude that life will get better can also help you move forward. It is impor-

tant that you focus on what you can do now, rather than on what went wrong.

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself and make decisions that help you to

move on.

After a breakup, it is imperative that you allow your heart time to grieve and not

close up and lock all the pain inside. You need to heal and learn from past experiences,

which can help you move forward and attract a better relationship. If you close up, then

you will either stop yourself from meeting someone or keep connecting with a partner

who is wrong for you.

It is important that you acknowledge the positive aspects of your past relationship,

so that you can move forward with a sense of accomplishment and completion, rather

than failure and disappointment. Spend time reflecting on how you have grown from

the experience. What aspects of yourself have you developed? What have you

discovered about yourself ? How would you like things to be different in your next rela-

tionship? What qualities will you be looking for in your next partner?

Take time to discover what you love about yourself, how you want to be treated in a

relationship, and how you can have more fun. When you are in pain, it is easy to forget

that there are a lot of interesting, loving, creative, soulful people around who can lead

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you to the most delicious, passionate, profound experience of love. You just need to be

open and send out the right vibes.

A Perfect Opportunity to Explore and Transform

If you feel lost, this is a perfect opportunity to begin exploring. Instead of thinking that

you know yourself, it is a chance to discover what you like, what attracts you, what excites

you or turns you on. You might decide to try things that you have never done, such as a

dance class, a trip, changing jobs, even moving to a new neighborhood or a new city.

After a breakup, one of my clients decided to try pole dancing. She lost weight,

gained confidence, and felt sexy. Another client booked a trip to Antarctica and then

traveled across South America for three months. She came back refreshed, with a new

perspective on life.

I have seen people get out of their boxes, rediscover their creativity, and make

tremendous steps toward their life goals after a separation. It is like they were given a

new lease on life. I knew a man who became super fit, ran a marathon, and became an

author. Another woman bought a dog, dressed it up, took photos, and made Christmas

cards. Her friends loved her cards so much that she turned her idea into a multimillion

dollar business. I have heard of people who go back to study, do charity work, become

investors, meet their soul mates, and reach a higher level of happiness and fulfillment

because they had the courage to take a new path and focus on the possibilities rather

than on what they lost.

It is important to understand that what you currently see as an ending is actually a

form of transformation. Great questions to ask yourself are: What do I feel I’ve lost? In

what form is life bringing me those qualities now? For example, if you feel that you

have lost affection, who is giving you affection now? It could be a friend or family

member, or even someone you may have met recently who said something kind to you.

If you feel unsupported, look for who is showing you care. It is possible that you are

also discovering that you are capable of supporting yourself and becoming more finan-

cially empowered. If you feel lonely without your ex, check who is offering to spend

time with you. Or maybe you need time out and this is your opportunity to learn to

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enjoy your own company. The more you see and acknowledge the new form of what

you feel you have lost in your life, the faster you are likely to come back to equilibrium

and become a full and joyous participant of your life.

Julia’s Story: New Beginnings

Julia and Phil lived in Sydney, Australia, for several years and had overcome

many challenges to be together. They decided to get married and bought a

house where they could start a family. Phil, originally from Greece, decided

to visit his family before settling down.

When Phil returned, something wasn’t right. He seemed unsettled, con-

fused, and jittery. He told Julia that he wasn’t ready to settle down and felt

he wanted to go back to Greece to live. Initially, Julia was devastated.

Although there had been inklings of Phil’s uncertainty about a long-term

commitment, Julia did not expect him to be so depressed and unhappy

when he returned home. After some internal examination, Julia knew she

needed more from the relationship and made the agonizing decision to

move out.

Julia moved in with her parents and started looking for another apart-

ment. Her first month on her own was difficult and she felt lost and alone.

However, instead of wallowing in her pain and grief, she decided to focus on

what was positive in her life. She reflected on all that she had learned from

Phil and realized how much she had grown; she also gained clarity on what

she wanted in a new relationship.

Julia spent a few months catching up with friends, rediscovering her old

interests, and nurturing herself. She began listening to her intuition and fol-

lowing her heart. Four months after the breakup, Julia was ready to start

again. She had a prophetic dream about buying a new apartment, which

she purchased a few days later.

Her birthday was coming up, and she got a funky haircut, bought some

new clothes, and decided to start dating again. Within a month, Julia met

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Tom. Tom was everything that Julia had wanted in a partner. He was available,

caring, attractive, supportive, creative, funny, and completely smitten with her.

I was inspired by Julia’s positive attitude and increase in confidence

once she had processed her pain and allowed herself to see the new possi-

bilities that life had to offer.

A year and a half later, Julia and Tom got married.