The Shore (19 page)

“More powerful? When did you find religion?”

Jaxon chuckled and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “The last time I was between your legs, sweetheart.”

Ryan gasped and pushed him away. Jaxon winked at her as he stood straight again.

“You’re drunk.”

“So what if I am?” He raised one hand, running it up and down the length of her arm while the other went to her waist. “How about it, Ry? For old time’s sake? We could finish what we started the other night.”

“You don't get to call me Ry, Jaxon. You lost that right a long time ago.”

Cody approached where Ryan was standing. He could see she was not happy. Pissed, even.

“And I told you no, Jaxon,” Ryan said with a sternness in her voice.

The jackass had his hands on her and Cody’s hands curled into fists. He wasn’t one for violence, but there was no reason any man should have his hands on Ryan.             

“Come on, Ryan. It would be fun. Why else did you come by the other night?” Jaxon asked.

Cody tried to keep his calm and forget what he just heard the asshole say.

“I told you, Jaxon, it was a mistake.”

Hearing that made Cody feel a little better, but not much.

Jaxon looked up to see Cody standing there, watching and listening. “What’s your problem? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?”

“You want to take your hands off her?” Cody asked, seemingly calm. He was anything but.

Ryan turned her head as she recognized the voice. When their eyes met, she could feel her face flush with embarrassment. The last thing she wanted was for Cody to see this. Things were already fucked up enough. “Cody…”

“I don’t see how this is any of your concern, so back the fuck up and go back to wherever you came from,” Jaxon spat at him.

Cody looked to Ryan. “Do you want him here?” When she didn’t answer, he asked, “Is this what you want?” His voice angry this time. The question was more than just the here and now. Maybe he had been wasting his time. Maybe this guy was who she really wanted.

“No!” Ryan answered emphatically, finally finding her voice.

Cody turned his attention back to Jaxon. “You heard her. Let go and walk away.”

“Or what?”

Cody took a deep breath and swung for Jaxon’s face, making contact with his left cheek and nose. Jaxon’s arms immediately fell from Ryan and he raised a fist to Cody.

“CODY!” Ryan yelled. Cody stepped to his right, putting himself between Ryan and Jaxon.

“I told you to walk away,” Cody said, his voice all anger now.

“She’s none of your concern, asshole.”

“After what you did to her, she’s none of
your
concern. Now walk away.”

Jaxon didn’t answer. Instead he took a swing that landed on the left side of Cody’s face.

Cody lunged toward Jaxon and started taking jabs at his ribs when he was pulled back. Arms wrapped around his torso so he couldn’t move and Jaxon stood there with a smirk on his face.

“You. Get the fuck out of my bar!” Max yelled at Jaxon while he restrained Cody.

“What the fuck? He threw the first punch!” Jaxon responded. One of the bouncers had joined Max and stood between the two men, facing Jaxon.

“I don’t give a fuck. Get out!”

“Come on Ryan, let’s go” Jaxon said, reaching for her hand.

Cody jerked out of Max’s arms, swatting Jaxon’s hand away as he went to Ryan. He put his hands on her arms, bringing all of her attention to him.

“Is this who you want, Ryan? Do you want to leave with him?” There was still anger in his voice. He could feel his heart breaking as he asked the questions. He knew he felt something for her. He told Laura about her for God’s sake. She needed to decide here and now. She needed to pick him. They would figure everything else out later.

Ryan shook her head. “No,” and Cody exhaled in relief.

“Looks like you got your answer. Get out,” Max said, nodding to his bouncer to escort Jaxon off the property. He followed them back to the bar.

Not moving from Ryan, Cody pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Riley.

“Hey Cody.”

“We're at Max's place. You need to come down here. None of the girls should be driving.”

“Be there shortly,” Riley replied and hung up.

“How much have you had to drink?” Cody asked Ryan as he tucked his phone back in his pocket.

“Enough that I shouldn’t drive,” Ryan responded quietly and Cody could barely make out what she said over the music.

“Let’s go sit and wait for Riley.”

Ryan nodded and turned toward the direction of their table.

By the time Riley arrived, it seemed everyone forgot what had happened with Jaxon. Mac, Abby, and Madison bounced between the dance floor and the table to drink more shots. It was going to be a tough morning for all of them, and once Abby heard Riley was coming to get them, she decided to catch up to everyone else.

Ryan and Cody, on the other hand, sat quietly next to each other, not talking to anyone. Ryan didn’t know what to say and Cody was still pissed about what he’d heard Jaxon say about the other night. Ryan wasn’t trashed, but there was no use in trying to talk to her about it now. He wanted her completely sober for that conversation.

“Hey,” Riley said and they both looked up.

“Hey. Mac and the others are on the dance floor,” Cody said, gesturing to the floor with his chin.

“Why do you have a black eye?” Riley asked. “You didn’t have one when you left the pier.”

Cody chuckled quietly. “No, no I didn’t.” Cody turned to look at Ryan who wouldn’t look at him. “Ryan’s ex was here. We kind of got into it. I threw a punch. He reciprocated. Max threw him out.”

Riley just nodded. He could tell by looking at Cody the topic wasn’t up for discussion. “I’m gonna go see Mac.”

Cody nodded and Riley turned to walk toward the dance floor.

Ryan looked up to see Mac hug her husband and start dancing with him. That was all she wanted – to be dancing and having fun. And if it was Cody pressing himself against her like Riley was doing to Mac, she would be okay with that.

As the song ended, the group made their way toward the table. Once they arrived, Cody announced, “I think we’re going to call it a night.”

Ryan looked up at him but said nothing.

“I’m taking you home,” he said to Ryan.

She noted the lack of question in his statement.

Abby and Mac walked over to Ryan and hugged her. They smiled at her, but she could see something in their eyes. Pity? Hope? She wasn’t sure.

“Just talk to him, Ryan. Get it all out there and things will be better,” Mac encouraged. Abby nodded in agreement.

“We’re here if you need anything. Anything at all,” Abby added.

Ryan smiled at them both. “Thanks.”

Madison walked up and took Ryan’s hand in hers. “One sec, okay?” she asked Cody.

Cody nodded as Madison pulled Ryan a few feet away.

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re feeling right now, but clear the air, Ry. Talk to him. Tell him about the shit with Paige and just let it go.”

Ryan just looked at her.

“It’s obvious he cares about you. And he told you the truth. He didn’t lie to you, and he didn’t cheat, Ryan. What happened with Paige was a long time ago.”

Ryan nodded, “I know.”

“He’s not Jaxon.”

Ryan nodded again. She was so scared of getting her heart broken again that’s all she could see. Cody might be okay with things now, but would that change? Would she be enough for him?

“I can see the wheels turning in your head. Stop it. Don’t put thoughts in his mind or words in his mouth. Just talk to him.”

Again, Ryan nodded.

“I’m really sorry, Ryan. I didn’t know that guy was Jaxon.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, Mad.”

Madison pulled her into a tight hug. “I’ll see you later, okay?” Madison asked.

“Yeh, see you later,” Ryan responded softly.

Madison pulled on Ryan’s hand and walked her back to the group.

“You ready?” Cody asked.

Nodding, Ryan responded, “Yeh.”

“Don’t worry sweetie, Berkley’s in good hands. Take all the time you need,” Mac said with a soft smile.

“Thanks, Mac.”

“Night everyone,” Cody said. He took Ryan’s hand in his and turned toward the door. As he walked past the bar, Max nodded at him and Cody waved. He owed that guy one.

Cody helped Ryan into his truck and walked around to get in on the other side. When the truck started, the radio wasn’t on, and the silence in the cab was deafening. The entire drive they were both silent, lost in their own thoughts.

Ryan hadn’t been paying attention to where Cody was driving and was surprised when she realized he had turned into his driveway, not hers. She thought he would take her to her house. She hadn’t expected this. She looked up to question why he hadn't taken her home, but he was already getting out of the truck.

Cody walked around to her side, opened the door and helped her out. They walked to the front door and he opened it, letting Ryan walk in first.

“You can sleep in my room,” he said like it was an instruction.

Ryan looked at him with a question on her face.

“I’ll take the couch.”             

His response broke her heart a little. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but the couch? Looking at the carpet, Ryan walked down the hallway and into his bedroom. She felt like a five year old that had been sent to her room. This wasn’t exactly how she pictured her first night at Cody’s would be.

A minute later, Cody walked in with a glass of water he set on the nightstand. He placed two white aspirin next to the glass.

“Take these and drink the water. It’ll help for in the morning.”

Ryan nodded.

He walked over to his dresser, pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and set them on the bed.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

Ryan nodded again unable to say anything. She watched him leave the room and close the door behind him.

How did things get this fucked up?

What she needed was for them to talk. To tell him she was sorry for overreacting. To hopefully wipe the slate clean between them, that is, if he could overlook what happened with Jaxon.

Sighing, she walked over to the water and pills and did as Cody directed.

She slowly undressed and put the clothes on Cody had left her. Instinctively, she pulled the shirt up to her nose and breathed in, taking in his smell. She slid into the neatly made bed and pulled the covers over her. It all smelled like him. Within just a minute, she was asleep.

Cody walked to the kitchen, filled a plastic bag with ice and grabbed a towel. In the living room, he pulled a blanket and pillow from the chest under the window. He took off his clothes, leaving just his boxer briefs on, laid on the couch and gently laid the ice on his face. Normally he’d turn on the TV, but he just wasn’t in the mood. With his arms crossed beneath his head, he looked up to the ceiling with one uncovered eye and tried not to think about what “the other night” meant.

Even if she had slept with him, it wasn’t like she had cheated on him. He wasn’t even sure if they would consider themselves dating. Sure, they had spent a couple of days together, but were they a couple? Were they exclusive?

Christ, I sound like a girl.

Cody wanted to be the person Ryan went to when she was mad or hurt or upset or happy. And this Jaxon guy. The thought of him made Cody’s blood boil. How could he cheat on Ryan? How did he not realize she was perfect?

And now, she was in his house, sleeping in his clothes in his bed. And he was on the fucking couch.

This shit is so messed up.

When Ryan woke, she tried to open her eyes but the light was too much. She groaned quietly as the events of the previous night slowly came back to her. Jaxon. Cody. Cody punching Jaxon. Jaxon punching Cody.

Shit.

Without looking, she knew Cody wasn’t in the bed with her. He said he was going to sleep on the couch, but Ryan had hoped he would change his mind and join her. Not that she wanted anything to happen physically. Well, if she was being honest, she really did want something to happen, but last night she just wanted to be near him.

She dug her face into the pillow and inhaled a deep breath.

She wanted to fall back asleep in the comfort of his bed, but she had to go to the bathroom.

She rolled over and slowly sat up, placing her feet on the floor. Her head only whooshed one time and she took that as a good sign. She pushed herself up, rubbing her hands on her face as she walked to the bathroom.

When she was finished, she faced the mirror over the sink and sighed. She looked like hell. She turned the water on, cupped her hands under it and splashed the water on her face. The coolness felt good and helped wake her up. She reached for a towel to dry her hands and face. As she looked around the bathroom, she noticed all of Cody’s things – his deodorant, cologne, razor, his comb. She felt oddly comfortable around his personal belongings.

Hoping to find a new toothbrush, she opened the cupboard under the sink. It was neatly organized with extra toilet paper, cleaning supplies and extra toiletries, including an unopened toothbrush. She took one and brushed her teeth. As she was brushing she looked around the room and realized there was nothing of Laura’s in the bathroom. No feminine supplies, no perfume, no makeup. She walked into the bedroom and saw empty spaces where pictures had hung just days before. Quickly she went back into the bathroom to finish brushing and rinse her mouth.

As she came out of the bathroom, she noticed the glass of water had been refilled and two more aspirin were beside the glass.

He came in to check on me.

Ryan sat on the bed and swallowed the two pills with the glass of water. She was glad she had done the same last night, otherwise she knew her hangover would have been far worse this morning.

She walked into the living room and expected to see Cody there, but the room was empty. She looked at the walls and noticed more empty spaces. Ryan made her way into the kitchen and while there wasn't a huge difference, it was as if anything that had been related to Laura was now gone. She was here only a couple of days ago.

When had he cleaned everything out?

She walked to the door leading to the deck and saw Cody playing catch on the beach with Wrigley. Ryan opened the door and walked onto the deck. Not wanting to disturb them, she took a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs and watched them play.

She could see, even from there she was sitting, the area beneath his eye looked puffy and had turned a dark shade of purple. She couldn't believe Cody and Jaxon had thrown punches at each other.

Wrigley was really good at catching whatever Cody threw at him. He’d leap in the air and catch balls and Frisbees, and roll in the sand when a ball was tossed along the ground. Ryan noticed the smile on Cody’s face as they played.

Cody looked up to the house and saw Ryan sitting on the deck.

How long has she been there?

He gave her a short nod and threw the ball for Wrigley again. This time it went even farther down the beach, but the dog chased after it like it was the first time.

As Wrigley ran back to him, Cody yelled, “Come on, Wrigley. Let’s get a drink.”

Cody met Wrigley at the gate to the deck, waiting to be let in. When he unlatched the gate, Wrigley barreled through and ran over to his dish. It must have been empty because the dog turned to look at Cody as if to say, “Where’s the water, Dad?”

Cody laughed. “Hang on a sec, Wrig. I’ll fill your dish.”

Not saying anything yet to Ryan, Cody walked over to the dish, picked it up and walked it over to the hose to fill it. When he sat the bowl back down, Cody hardly had a half second to get out of the way before Wrigley dug his tongue into the water and started lapping.

“I guess he was thirsty,” Ryan said, getting Cody’s attention.

“Yeh. We’ve been at it for a while, so probably.”

Cody wasn’t sure what to say and Ryan was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t that there was tension in the air, it just wasn’t easy.

Ryan had hoped this morning would go a little more smoothly than this.

“How’d you sleep?” Ryan asked.

Cody turned and walked toward one of the other Adirondack chairs on the deck, taking a seat. “Not great. You?”

Ryan scowled. “I’m sorry. I should have taken the couch last night.”

“It wasn’t that, Ryan,” Cody sighed. “How did you sleep?”

“I’m not sure whether it was sleep or a coma.”

“How do you feel this morning? Did the water and aspirins help?”

“Yes, thanks. I already took the two you left for me this morning. Thanks for doing that.”

Cody nodded.

“Oh, and I found a toothbrush under your sink, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, that’s fine,” Cody responded, but there was no warmth in his voice.

They were silent again, the only sounds coming from Wrigley lapping up his water, the waves and the birds as they flew overhead.

Cody started to rise out of his chair and Ryan frowned.

“Are we going to talk, Cody?” she asked quietly.

He stopped halfway to standing, his hands on the arms of the chair. “I don’t know what to say, Ryan.” He didn’t look at her as he said the words. He completed his stand and walked into the house.

Well then why in the hell did he bring me here?

Ryan looked out at the water willing her tears to go away. There was a part of her that wanted to walk into the house, find her phone and call a cab to come get her.

Fuck this.

She wiped her eyes, feeling angry at being stuck where she was.

Either we need to talk about what happened or I need to leave.

Ryan got up from the chair, called for Wrigley to come and walked into the house. Cody was standing in the kitchen, his back to her.

“I’m sorry, Cody,” Ryan said with an edge in her tone. If he wasn’t going to talk to her, then she was damn well going to talk to him. “I’m sorry I overreacted when you told me about Paige.”

Cody turned to face her, his hands on the edge of the counter behind him.

“What happened between you and Paige was a long time ago. I know that,” she sighed. “Madison helped me realize that.”

“If you would have stayed and talked to me, instead of running away,
we
could have figured that out, Ryan.” Cody’s voice had its own edge.

There was something about the way he included her name in the statement. If felt … impersonal.

“I know,” she answered quietly.

“They why did you leave?”

Ryan sighed and sat on one of the stools at the island. She put her head in her hands and spoke quietly.

“All my life I have been compared to Paige. She had the grades, the looks, everyone liked her. It was nauseating. What most people didn’t understand was that my sister is a royal, Grade A, bitch.”

Cody looked at her and raised his eyebrows.

“She uses who she has to in order to get what she wants. And fuck anyone that’s in her way.” Ryan took a moment to collect her thoughts then looked up and saw Cody watching her.

“That night, the night I was attacked,” Ryan could see anger in Cody’s eyes, “I turned to my sister like she had done so many times to me. She was always out drinking and getting hammered in high school. She would call me and I’d have to help her into the house or distract our parents so they wouldn’t see how drunk she was. If they ever knew, they never let on.

“I blamed her for that night, for what happened to me. I know now it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, and I never told her. But in my mind, if she had been the sister I needed, the sister I had always been for her, then it wouldn’t have happened.”

Cody saw the tears fall down Ryan’s face as she spoke and it broke his heart. Walking to her, he turned the stool so she was facing him and wiped his thumbs under her eyes.

“It wasn’t Paige’s fault, Ryan. And it wasn’t yours. What that asshole did – that’s all on him,” he said softly, looking into her eyes.

Ryan nodded.

“But you still haven’t answered my question.”

Ryan looked up at him confused.

“Why did you leave?”

Ryan looked down at her hands again and Cody walked around the island and sat on the stool next to her.

“I don’t know.”

Cody reached across and took her hands in his, twisting the stool so she faced him again.

“That’s not good enough, Ryan.”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I guess after everything that happened with Jaxon, I didn’t want to be the one left standing.”

It was Cody's turn to look confused.

“I knew what I said wasn’t true. I knew you weren’t trying to score with both of the ‘Blake girls.’ But if you were going to leave, if you were going to sleep with me and then take off, I wanted to be sure I was the one that left first.”

“Ryan, I wasn’t going anywhere. What would make you think that?” He paused and looked at her, trying to reinforce what he’d just said with his eyes. “I wanted to clear the air and let you know what happened. I don’t like secrets. I never have. What if we stayed together and down the road, two years from now, you found out I had slept with your sister? How would you have reacted then?”

Ryan just looked at him, unsure how to answer.

“I really like you, Ryan. I was falling for you,” he said softly.

“Was?” Ryan questioned, shaken by his statement.

Cody sighed. “Can you tell me what happened with Jaxon the other night?”

Ryan looked at him, startled by his question. “The other night?”

“When I walked up to you last night at the bar, I overhead him say you went to him the other night. I’m guessing that’s where you were when you were ignoring my calls and I couldn’t find you.”

Ryan let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “Nothing happened.”

Cody looked at her. “Did you see him the other night?”

She sighed again and nodded. “I was mad after our fight.”

“So you went to him? Why is he even here? I figured he lived in Charlotte.”

“I didn’t
go to
him. I needed someone to talk to and knew I couldn’t talk with Mac or Abby, and I couldn’t get a hold of Madison.”

“You could have talked to
me
.”

“Not at that moment, Cody. I couldn’t talk to you then.”

“Why?”

“I just told you why. I needed to leave you before you could leave me.”

“But I wasn’t going anywhere!” Cody said, exasperated.

Ryan took his hands in hers. “I know that now. I didn’t then,” she said softly.

“Why is he here, Ryan?”

“The night after you told me about Laura and I told you about Jaxon …”

“Yeh?” He cut her off, agitated again.

“Let me finish, okay?” Ryan asked and Cody nodded quietly.

“You were playing poker with your friends and I was bored. I decided to take a walk along the beach. I was so lost in my own thoughts, happy that we had opened up to each other and talked about some really tough subjects…” She smiled softly at him. “He was jogging on the beach and I almost didn’t recognize him until he stopped.”

Cody looked at her.

“After I realized it was him, I went off on him. I hadn’t seen him in four years, and all of the questions and frustrations and emotions I’d been holding in came out. After I yelled at him for a while, I turned around and left.”

Cody furrowed his eyebrows, still confused. “I’m glad you got all of that out, but what does that have to do with you going to him?”

“I’m not finished.”

Cody sighed loudly.

“The next morning I took Berkley for a walk and ended up in front of his grandma's house. He came down from the deck and asked if I would go to lunch with him, and I agreed. I thought it could be the closure I was looking for.”

“So you went to lunch with him?”

“Yes. I realized he was never going to be able to answer the questions I wanted answered or give me the information I thought I needed. Even if he was telling the truth, I didn’t know if I could believe him.”

“So that’s it? Just a yelling match and lunch?”

Ryan sighed. “No.”

Cody got up and started to pace around the kitchen. His patience was wearing thin. “What else, Ryan?”

“When I couldn’t get ahold of Madison after leaving your place, I started to drive. I didn’t even realize where I was until I had pulled into the driveway.”