The Shore (15 page)

Cody pulled out of Ryan’s driveway and headed home as the rain began to fall. He had no idea where she was or where she would have gone. While he highly doubted it, maybe she had gone to his house looking for him.

When he pulled into his driveway he noted her car wasn’t there either. “Damn it,” he said out loud. “Where did she go?” Cody tried to call her one more time, but instead of ringing, it went straight to voicemail.

Shit. Now she’s turned off her phone.

He was kicking himself for telling Ryan, but he knew it was something he had to do. It wasn’t that he’d been hurt by secrecy in the past, he just didn’t like it. Secrets weren’t who he was. What happened with Paige took place a long time ago, and he really hadn’t thought Ryan would react the way she did. But then, he also didn’t expect her to tell him some guy tried to rape her either. The thought made him want to punch something.

Wrigley greeted him at the door as he walked in. Cody scratched him behind his ears and walked into the living room. The two glasses of wine he poured after dinner were still sitting on the coffee table. He walked over to them, picked them up and walked into the kitchen where he poured the wine down the drain.

“Come on boy, let’s go to bed,” he said to Wrigley, shutting off the lights. There was nothing he could do and he didn’t know where she was.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ryan felt the rain on her face as she walked from Jaxon’s house to her car. She spent the majority of the drive going over what just happened.

How could I let him kiss me? And why in the hell did I kiss him back?

She sighed as she pulled into her driveway, not that she expected anyone to be there, and she couldn’t have known Cody had just left. Suddenly, she just felt tired. The emotional roller coaster she’d been on the last couple days had done her in and she craved the comfort of her bed.

Berkley met her at the door as she walked in. Without turning on a light, she went straight into her room, removed her clothes and fell onto the bed.

When Ryan woke several hours later, it was still dark and gloomy out, and the rain continued to fall.

Perfect.

It matched her mood to a T. She climbed the stairs to the kitchen, got herself something to drink, and walked towards the sliding door. Watching the storms come in off the water was something she and her dad used to do when she was little. All the other kids hated the lighting and thunder the storms brought, but Ryan loved it. She would stand on the deck until her mom yelled at her to come inside. By then she would be dripping wet from the rain.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cody was making his best effort to concentrate on work, but once again, Ryan had infiltrated his mind and wouldn’t leave. He woke up pissed. Pissed she had left. Pissed she wouldn’t take his calls. Pissed she wouldn’t call him back. They may have only really known each other for a few short days, but he felt something for Ryan, something deep down in his core. He didn’t want to lose her, especially over something that happened so long ago.

He needed to know she was okay. Even if things didn’t work out between the two of them, he still cared about her. After breakfast, he put Wrigley in the truck and drove past Ryan’s house. Thankfully her car had been in the driveway. At least he knew she made it home last night.

Grabbing his phone, he dialed her number one more time. Like before, it went straight to voicemail. He left a message, but unlike the others he left, this time he was mad.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Realizing she never heard from Madison, Ryan began to worry. She turned to run downstairs to grab her phone and screamed.

“OH MY GOD!” Ryan yelled, raising her hands to her heart. “What are you doing here?”

Standing there, with her hands on her hips, wielding a very pissed off expression was Madison.

“Where in the
fuck
have you been, and why didn’t you call me back?”

Madison had tried Ryan's phone several times last night, and each time she got her voicemail. When a few hours had passed and she still couldn't reach her, Madison decided to get in her car and drive.

“So you drove here?”             

“Are you okay?

“Mad. I’m…okay.”

“Ryan,
God
, you had me scared to fucking death! Are you sure you’re alright?”

Ryan sighed. She didn’t really feel like rehashing the last 24 hours, but knew she had to do. “Yeh, I’m sure. There’s just been some shit going on around here.”

Madison walked to Ryan and put her hands on her arms, looking into her eyes to determine if she was being straight with her.

“I want to hear about the shit, I do. But promise me, are you really okay?”

“Yes.”

Madison relaxed a bit and hugged Ryan. At least she knew Ryan was safe. “You never leave me messages like that, Ry. I had no idea what happened, and when you didn’t answer me or text me, I went batshit crazy.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I think Jaxon turned off my phone.”

“Jaxon? Why would he have your phone?”

“I'll explain everything, I promise. But first, come in and sit down, okay? I'll be right back. I just need to grab my phone from downstairs,” Ryan said as she headed down to her room.

She grabbed her phone from her purse and was surprised to see the power was off.

What the…?

She never turned off her phone. When she thought back to last night, she surmised that Jaxon must have turned it off for her.

As the phone powered on, it dinged with a fury. She had a buttload of text messages, almost as many missed phone calls, and a few voicemails – from Cody, Madison, Mac and Abby.

The first message she listened to was from Madison:  “Ryan? What’s going on? I’m sorry I couldn’t answer the phone. Call me back. You’ve got me worried.”

There were additional voicemails from Madison and her voice was increasingly more worried with each message she left.

And there were calls from Cody. At first he just sounded worried. He cared and wanted to know where she was. But it was his last message that tore at her heart: “Ryan, it’s Cody. I’m not even sure what number message this is, but this is ridiculous. I just want to know you’re okay and you refuse to even acknowledge that. I’m sorry about what happened, but if something that took place so many years ago is going to be that big of a deal, then … Aww, fuck it. I give, Ryan. This is my final try. You know how to find me if you want to talk.”

Ryan pressed the button on her phone that took her out of voicemail without deleting the message. She hated that he was pissed, but damn it, so was she. The words of their argument played out in her mind as she went upstairs to join Madison.

When Ryan rounded the corner into the living area, she spotted two glasses of juice and two containers of yogurt on the table.

“What? I'm hungry.”

“What time did you leave?”

“I think it was somewhere around 3.”

Ryan sighed. “I'm sorry I had you so worried.”

When Madison didn't respond, Ryan asked, “How did you get into the house?”

“I remembered where you put the spare key the last time we were here.”

“Ahh,” Ryan nodded.

“So you want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Ryan sighed loudly and then started telling the story. “Last night I went over to Cody’s for dinner. We had a really nice time – we talked, he cooked dinner, we drank some wine…”

“That sounds pretty nice, Ryan.”

“It was, until he told me he lost his virginity on the same dunes he took me to the other night.”

“What’s the big deal about that? A lot of the locals around here probably had the same experience.”

“That's what I said,” she paused. “The big deal was – he lost his virginity to
Paige
.”

“Paige. Your sister, Paige?”

“Yeh.”

“Motherfucker.”

“I lost it, Mad. I yelled at him, telling him I was nothing like my sister.”

“You aren’t, Ryan. You guys are so, so different.”

Ryan paused before she spoke again. “I told him about that night in high school.”

“Wow, Ry…”

“I told him I was no consolation prize for my sister,” she said through the tears.

It was killing Madison to hear this. She knew how hard it was for Ryan to talk about what happened with the douchebag that attacked her, and as far as she knew, she was the only person who knew what happened.

“Mad…”

“Yeh?”

“There’s more.”

“Did he hurt you, Ryan? I’ll fucking kill him.”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that.”

“What then?”

“Well, I couldn’t get a hold of you. And I didn’t feel like I could talk to Mac or Abby… I ended up at Jaxon’s house last night.”

“Oh shit.”

“At first he was really great and comforting, but then…” she paused. “He started kissing me. And I kissed him back.”

“Oh, Ryan…”

“I know. It just felt so comfortable and familiar.”

“I guess a couple could have break-up sex four years after it happened,” Madison commented quietly.

“I didn’t let it get that far. We were getting there, but I stopped him.”

“That’s probably for the best, Ry. I’m not sure you’d ever forgive yourself.”

They were both quiet again and it was Madison who broke the silence. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you last night, Ryan.”

“I know, Mad. I know you would have been if you had known.”

“How did you leave things with Cody?”

“I told him I couldn’t do this anymore … and left.”

“Oh, Ryan.”

Both seemed lost in their own thoughts as they sat quietly, looking at each other. Ryan was wondering what Madison was
really
thinking, and Madison was trying to determine just how much flack she should give Ryan for overreacting to Cody’s news. Because that’s exactly what it was: an overreaction. Madison could tell Ryan really liked this guy, and she wasn’t going to let her mess it up.

“What are you thinking, Mad? I can see the wheels turning.” When Madison still didn’t say anything, Ryan added, “Please say something.”

It wasn’t like Madison to sugarcoat what she had to say with a “You know I love you,” or “Please don’t take this the wrong way.” Instead, she went straight for the jugular.

“I think you majorly overreacted when Cody told you about Paige,” Madison said matter-of-factly without stopping to think about it.

Ryan didn’t say anything. She knew Madison wasn’t finished.

“I get it, it sucks. He slept with Paige. But how many years ago was that?”

Ryan still didn’t say anything and Madison’s tone got a little softer. “Do you honestly think he’s been harboring feelings for her all this time – and then voila! By some miracle you arrive? Finally he gets to fuck the other sister?”

“No…” Ryan said quietly.

“Then why is it such a big deal, Ryan?”

Ryan sighed. This was why she needed to talk to Madison last night. The girl had a way of bringing everything into perspective. She knew she’d made more of this than she should have. “You know the history with Paige, Mad…”

“I do,” Madison said, cutting off Ryan’s next words. “I know that for most of your life you were compared to her. And I’m sorry, Ryan, but she’s a bitch, and you are anything but.”

Ryan hated hearing that, but it was the truth. Paige had no respect for anyone but herself and she did what she had to do to get what she wanted – and damn anyone in her way. Ryan still couldn’t understand how Justin, her husband, could live with her. Ryan was usually ready to ring her neck after two days when they got together for the holidays.

“I know,” Ryan responded with a heavy sigh.

“Do you like Cody?”

“I think you know I do.”

“Of course I do. I just wanted to see if you could admit it.”

Ryan sneered at Madison. “Don’t play shrink with me.”

“Sometimes it’s the only way to get through to you, Ry.”

“What if I really fucked this up, Mad? What if he won’t talk to me?”

“How many texts and voicemails has he left since you bailed on him?”

Ryan could feel herself blush. “Umm… a lot.”

“Exactly.”

“Except in his last message, he sounded pretty pissed.”

“I don’t blame him, do you?”

Ryan didn’t say anything. Madison had that tone in her voice,
again
, that said she wasn’t done talking and whatever she was about to say was Ryan’s fault.

“You left him, standing there after he confessed something that happened
years
ago, and if I know you, you completely blew off every phone call, text and voicemail he left you. Didn’t you?”