The Skeptics Annotated Bible (111 page)

35 And he that owneth the house shall come and tell the priest, saying, It seemeth to me there is as it were a plague in the house:

36 Then the priest shall command that they empty the house, before the priest go into it to see the plague, that all that is in the house be not made unclean: and afterward the priest shall go in to see the house:

37 And he shall look on the plague, and, behold, if the plague be in the walls of the house with hollow strakes, greenish or reddish, which in sight are lower than the wall;

38 Then the priest shall go out of the house to the door of the house, and shut up the house seven days:

39 And the priest shall come again the seventh day, and shall look: and, behold, if the plague be spread in the walls of the house;

40 Then the priest shall command that they take away the stones in which the plague is, and they shall cast them into an unclean place without the city:

41 And he shall cause the house to be scraped within round about, and they shall pour out the dust that they scrape off without the city into an unclean place:

42 And they shall take other stones, and put them in the place of those stones; and he shall take other morter, and shall plaister the house.

43 And if the plague come again, and break out in the house, after that he hath taken away the stones, and after he hath scraped the house, and after it is plaistered;

44 Then the priest shall come and look, and, behold, if the plague be spread in the house, it is a fretting leprosy in the house: it is unclean.

45 And he shall break down the house, the stones of it, and the timber thereof, and all the morter of the house; and he shall carry them forth out of the city into an unclean place.

46 Moreover he that goeth into the house all the while that it is shut up shall be unclean until the even.

47 And he that lieth in the house shall wash his clothes; and he that eateth in the house shall wash his clothes.

48 And if the priest shall come in, and look upon it, and, behold, the plague hath not spread in the house, after the house was plaistered: then the priest shall pronounce the house clean, because the plague is healed.

49 And
he shall take to cleanse the house two birds
, and cedar wood, and scarlet, and hyssop:

(14.49)
“He shall take to cleanse the house two birds,”

50
And he shall kill the one of the birds
in an earthen vessel over running water:

(14.50)
“And he shall kill the one of the birds.”

51 And
he shall take
the cedar wood, and the hyssop, and the scarlet, and
the living bird, and dip them in the blood of the slain bird
, and in the running water,
and sprinkle the house seven times
:

(14.51)
“He shall take … the living bird, and dip them in the blood of the slain bird … and sprinkle the house seven times.”

52
And he shall cleanse the house with the blood of the bird
, and with the running water, and with the living bird, and with the cedar wood, and with the hyssop, and with the scarlet:

(14.52)
“And he shall cleanse the house with the blood of the bird.”

53 But he shall let go the living bird out of the city into the open fields, and make an atonement for the house: and it shall be clean.

54 This is the law for all manner of plague of leprosy, and scall,

55 And for the leprosy of a garment, and of a house,

56 And for a rising, and for a scab, and for a bright spot:

57 To teach when it is unclean, and when it is clean: this is the law of leprosy.

(15.1-15)
God’s instructions for men with a “running issue” out of their “flesh”
Long, tiresome, and disgusting instructions for the treatment of men who have a “running issue” out of their “flesh.” Very enlightening. “And if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean…”

15
And
the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying,

2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them,
When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh
, because of his issue
he is unclean.

(15.1-2)
“The LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying … When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh … he is unclean.”

3 And this shall be his uncleanness in his issue: whether his flesh run with his issue, or his flesh be stopped from his issue, it is his uncleanness.

4
Every bed, whereon he lieth that hath the issue, is unclean: and every thing, whereon he sitteth, shall be unclean.

(15.4)
“Every bed, whereon he lieth that hath the issue, is unclean: and every thing, whereon he sitteth, shall be unclean.”

5 And
whosoever toucheth his bed shall
wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and
be unclean until the even.

(15.5)
“Whosoever toucheth his bed shall … be unclean until the even.”

6 And
he that sitteth on any thing whereon he sat
that hath the issue
shall
wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and
be unclean
until the even.

(15.6)
“He that sitteth on any thing whereon he sat … shall … be unclean.”

7 And
he that toucheth the flesh of him that hath the issue shall
wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and
be unclean
until the even.

(15.7)
“He that toucheth the flesh of him that hath the issue shall … be unclean.”

8 And
if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall
wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and
be unclean
until the even.

(15.8)
“If he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall … be unclean.”

9 And
what saddle soever he rideth upon that hath the issue shall be unclean.

(15.9)
“What saddle soever he rideth upon that hath the issue shall be unclean.”

10 And
whosoever toucheth any thing that was under him shall be unclean
until the even: and he that beareth any of those things shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

(15.10)
“Whosoever toucheth any thing that was under him shall be unclean.”

11 And
whomsoever he toucheth
that hath the issue, and hath not rinsed his hands in water, he
shall
wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and
be unclean
until the even.

(15.11)
“Whomsoever he toucheth … shall … be unclean.”

12 And
the vessel of earth, that he toucheth
which hath the issue,
shall be broken: and every vessel of wood shall be rinsed in water.

(15.12)
“The vessel of earth, that he toucheth … shall be broken: and every vessel of wood shall be rinsed in water.”

13 And when
he that hath an issue
is cleansed of his issue; then he
shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing
, and wash his clothes, and bathe his flesh in running water,
and shall be clean.

(15.13)
“He that hath an issue … shall number to himself seven days for his cleansing … and shall be clean.”

14 And
on the eighth day he shall take to him two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, and
come before the LORD unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and give them unto the priest:

15 And the priest shall
offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering
; and the priest shall make an atonement for him before the LORD for his issue.

(15.14-15)
“On the eighth day he shall take to him two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, and … offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering.”

(15.16-18)
God’s law for wet dreams
What to do if you get your seed of copulation on yourself, your clothes, or your partner.