The Skeptics Annotated Bible (99 page)

34 Then a cloud covered the tent of the congregation, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

35 And Moses was not able to enter into the tent of the congregation, because the cloud abode thereon, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

36 And when the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the children of Israel went onward in all their journeys:

37 But if the cloud were not taken up, then they journeyed not till the day that it was taken up.

38 For the cloud of the LORD was upon the tabernacle by day, and fire was on it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel, throughout all their journeys.

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
—
Leviticus 26.29

I wouldn’t read Leviticus if I were you. No one else does. Instead, I’ll summarize it for you: Get an animal, kill it, sprinkle the blood around, cut the dead animal into pieces, and burn it for a “sweet savor unto the Lord.”

Here are the gory details:

• Moses puts blood on Aaron’s right ear, thumb, and big toe.
  8.23-24
  
• God kills Aaron’s sons for offering “strange fire before the Lord.”
  10.1-2
  
• Hares are unclean since they chew the cud.
  11.6
  
• Bats are unclean birds.
  11.13
  ,
  19
  
• Four-legged birds are an abomination to God.
  11.20
  
• Insects have four legs.
  11.21
  ,
  23
  
• Baby girls are twice as dirty as baby boys.
  12.1-8
  
• God’s cure for leprosy.
  14.2-32
  
• What to do if “he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean.”
  15.8
  
• What to do “if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him.”
  15.16-18
  
• Menstruating women are unclean to God.
  15.19-30
  
• God’s law for wet dreams.
  15.16-17
  ,
  32
  
• Uncovering the nakedness of your mother, father, aunts, uncles, etc.
  18.8-18
  
• Don’t look at any naked menstruating women.
  18.19
  
• Homosexuality is an abomination to God.
  18.22
  
• Don’t have sex with animals.
  18.23
  
• Don’t mix seeds when sowing a field or wear a garment with mixed fibers.
  19.19
  
• If you have sex with a slave woman, you must then scourge her.
  19.20
  
• Don’t round the corners of your head or mar the corners of your beard.
  19.27
  
• Children who curse their parents, adulterers, and homosexuals must be killed.
  20.9-12
  
• Women with “familiar spirits” must be stoned to death.
  20.27
  
• The unchaste daughters of priests must be burnt to death.
  21.9
  
• Handicapped people must not approach the altar.
  21.16-23
  
• Cursers and blasphemers must be stoned to death.
  24.16
  ,
  24
  
• God’s instructions for buying slaves.
  25.45-46
  
• “Ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.”
  26.16
  
• God will “send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children.”
  26.22
  
• “And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.”
  26.29
  
• God places a dollar value on human life, with women worth less than men.
  27.3-7
  

(Chapters 1-9)
God’s instructions for animal sacrifices
God gives detailed instructions for performing ritualistic animal sacrifices. Such bloody rituals must be important to God, judging from the number of times that he repeats their instructions. Indeed the entire first nine chapters of Leviticus can be summarized as follows: Get an animal, kill it, sprinkle the blood around, cut the dead animal into pieces, and burn it for a “sweet savor unto the Lord.”
20 Does God desire animal sacrifices?

1
And the LORD called unto Moses, and spake unto him out of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying,

2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man of you bring an offering unto the LORD, ye shall bring your offering of the cattle, even of the herd, and of the flock.

3 If his offering be a burnt sacrifice of the herd, let him
offer a male without blemish
: he shall offer it of his own voluntary will at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD.

(1.3, 10)
“Offer a male without blemish.”
Only unblemished males are to be killed and offered to God. Females don’t even make good burnt offerings.

4 And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him.

5 And he shall
kill the bullock before the LORD
: and the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall
bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar
that is by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

(1.5)
“Kill the bullock before the LORD … bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar.”

6 And he shall
flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.

(1.6)
“Flay the burnt offering; cut it into his pieces.”

7 And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire upon the altar, and lay the wood in order upon the fire:

8 And the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall
lay
the parts,
the head, and the fat
, in order upon the wood that is
on the fire which is upon the altar
:

9
But his inwards and his legs
shall he wash in water: and the priest shall
burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice
, an offering made by fire, of
a sweet savour unto the LORD.

(1.8-9)
“Lay … the head, and the fat … on the fire which is upon the altar: But his inwards and his legs … burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice … a sweet savour unto the LORD.”

10 And if his offering be of the flocks, namely, of the sheep, or of the goats, for a burnt sacrifice; he shall bring it
a male without blemish
.

11 And he shall
kill
it on the side of the altar northward
before the LORD: and
the priests, Aaron’s sons, shall
sprinkle his blood round about
upon the altar.

(1.11)
“Kill … before the Lord and … sprinkle blood round about.”

12 And he shall
cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat
: and the priest shall lay them in order on the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:

13 But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring it all,
and burn it
upon the altar: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of
a sweet savour unto the LORD.

(1.12-13)
“Cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat … and burn it … a sweet savour unto the Lord.”

14 And
if the burnt sacrifice
for his offering
to the LORD be of fowls
, then he shall bring his offering of turtledoves, or of young pigeons.

15 And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and
wring off his head, and burn it
on the altar;
and the blood thereof shall be wrung out
at the side of the altar:

(1.14-15)
“If the burnt sacrifice … to the Lord be of fowls … wring off his head, and burn it … and the blood thereof shall be wrung out.”

16 And he shall pluck away his crop with his feathers, and cast it beside the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes:

17 And he shall cleave it with the wings thereof, but shall not divide it asunder: and the priest shall burn it upon the altar, upon the wood that is upon the fire: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of
a sweet savour unto the LORD.

(1.17)
“A sweet savour unto the Lord”

2
And when any will offer a meat offering unto the LORD, his offering shall be of fine flour; and he shall pour oil upon it, and put frankincense thereon:

2 And he shall bring it to Aaron’s sons the priests: and he shall take thereout his handful of the flour thereof, and of the oil thereof, with all the frankincense thereof; and the priest shall burn the memorial of it upon the altar, to be an offering made by fire, of
a sweet savour unto the LORD
:

(2.2)
“A sweet savour unto the Lord”

3 And the remnant of the meat offering shall be Aaron’s and his sons’: it is a thing most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire.

4 And if thou bring an oblation of a meat offering baken in the oven, it shall be unleavened cakes of fine flour mingled with oil, or unleavened wafers anointed with oil.

5 And if thy oblation be a meat offering baken in a pan, it shall be of fine flour unleavened, mingled with oil.

6 Thou shalt
part it in pieces
, and pour oil thereon:
it is a meat offering
.

(2.6)
“Part it in pieces… it is a meat offering.”

7 And if thy oblation be a meat offering baken in the fryingpan, it shall be made of fine flour with oil.

8 And thou shalt bring the meat offering that is made of these things unto the LORD: and when it is presented unto the priest, he shall bring it unto the altar.

9 And the priest shall take from the meat offering a memorial thereof, and shall burn it upon the altar: it is an offering made by fire, of
a sweet savour unto the LORD
.

(2.9)
“A sweet savour unto the Lord”

10 And that which is left of the meat offering shall be Aaron’s and his sons’:
it is a thing most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire.

(2.10)
“It is a thing most holy of the offerings of the LORD made by fire.”

11 No meat offering, which ye shall bring unto the LORD, shall be made with leaven: for ye shall burn no leaven, nor any honey, in any offering of the LORD made by fire.