The Streets Or Me: A Louisiana Love Story (9 page)

I sat against the wall in my cell staring at a photo of Luke and I together. It's been weeks since he came to visit me and I was starting to get worried. I was finally set a court date and they're taking the case to trial; my lawyer say I got a chance at receiving five to six years with the possibilty of parole which means A'Laya will be at least six or seven when I get out. I hope my baby girl doesn't forget about me, it already seems that Luke has.

Khyia came to visit me last weekend, I was so happy to see my girl, even with the scar in her face she was still a baddie, lol. I was shocked when she told me that her and Legz were expecting twins, and she's officially back in school for a Bachelor's in Business Management. Legacy better do right by her or else I'll kick his ass when I get out. Life on the inside is stressful as hell, 'specially when you feel like world is against you, only thing you can do to keep sane is pray for guidance and forgiveness. I been attending the church services that they have trying to keep my mind clear, I just wanna be free from this place.

I was knocked from my thoughts by the guard calling my name, "Miracle Black, you got mail baby girl." She called out.

I jumped down from my bunk and took the small stack of mail from her. I shuffled through seeing letters from my mom, my younger sister, Khyia, and Luke. I opened the one from Luke first and read it.

Miracle,

I know it's been a minute since my last visit and I'm sorry, but I been working on trying to leave this lifestyle behind me for the sake of us and my kids. This ain't how I wanna raise Lucas or A’Laya, so I'm doing what I gotta do to get out. I know you always talked about us getting out the game and moving to California somewhere to start over, don't worry ma I got plans for us. I been gettin' up with the lawyer so I know what's going on wit' ya case, we gon' try to push for at least two years and parole instead of five.

I been stressed like hell ma, feel like somebody out to get me or some shit. I gotta watch my back everywhere I go, even pickin' Lucas up from school. I wish I never got into this life, I wouldn't be so paranoid. I done offed so many niggas in my past that I feel like it's starting to catch up to me, like death lurking at every corner. No matter what happens, I want you know that I love you Miracle Black, everything that I did in the past and whatever I do now was/is for you, Courtnei, Lucas, and A'Laya. All mean the world to me and if these streets take me before I can get out, I'm leaving everything to you, my moma, Court, and the kids. I ain't forgot about you ma, I'll see you soon. I love you Miri.

Luke

I felt the tears fall from my eyes after I read the letter. I've never heard Luke talk this way about leaving the game and death. Is there something that he isn't telling me or that he's trying to tell me? Is he in some kind of trouble? My heart was breaking because I needed answers and I couldn't get them behind these damned bars.

I walked inside the double doors of First Baptist Church of Christ and sat in the first pew. I hadn't been to church since I was 'bout six maybe seven years old, and that was to attend my sister Corie's funeral. I felt lost and needed guidance so I did the only thing I knew how to do besides be a street nigga...I prayed.

"Dear God,

I know I don't talk to you as much as I should, to be completely honestly, you probably won't hear or care ' bout a word I got to say, but Lord I need guidance. I done some crazy things in my life that could send me down the road for the rest of my life, but I'm here today asking for forgiveness and deliverance from this street life. I wanna live right and do better for my family. I need you to wash away my sins and help me get on the right track before something bad comes my way. I just wanna be free from the stress and worry of this game; God if you hear me please just help me do right. Amen!"

"It's been along time since I seen you in a church, let along heard you pray."

I look up and see my Uncle King standing over me. King Harris is my mom, Uncle Kevin, and Uncle Killa's oldest brother who happens to be the founder of the church. He used to be a druglord himself until he almost died during a drug exchange gone wrong in Dallas, since then he turned his whole life around and became a preacher. I stood up and shook his hand as he pulled me in a tight hug then pulled back.

"Young Luke, what brings you by the church nephew?" he asked sitting beside me.

"I need some guidance Unc," I replied.

"What kinda guidance, talk to me," he said.

"Miracle got locked up and charged wit' second degree attempted murder wit' a firearm for defending Khyia, they tryna give her five maybe six years wit' possible parole. I got niggas gunning for me in these streets, I’m stressed and I just need a way out Unc. I wanna do right for my kids and for myself, I never should've fell in this life let alone let Miri fall in it wit' me," I replied.

"I told Killa he was making a mistake by letting you in the game so young. I understood you had ya son comin', but Luke you had a bright future ahead of you. You could've been in the NBA by now, yet you chose the street life doing the same thing that killed ya dad and nearly killed me then you dragged Miracle into that life now she basically threw her life away behind foolishness. It never should've been this way nephew," he said.

I nodded in agreement with his statement. He was right about everything, but how could I really avoid this life when I was born into this life with both parents in the game. My dad was robbed and murdered outside our house when I was four, then my mom walked away from the life and struggled to take care of me, my baby brother, and my three sisters. Like I said before I got in the game so that I could provide for Courtnei and Lucas, when my moma found out about it she kicked me out the crib which made me fall deeper into the life.

A year after Lucas was born, I met Miracle and we started fucking around. She was pretty much like Khy is with Legacy, down for a nigga 51/50. I couldn't even tell you how many robberies me and shawty hit together, how many bodies we caught together, or how much weight we moved together. I wish I could turn back time and never join the game.

"So you tryna get out now?" He asked knockin' me from my thoughts.

"Yea I am. I mean this ain't the life for me no more, it honestly never was. I wanna get out and do something legit, like get in college and get a degree or something like that. I just don't know how," I sighed.

"I was the same way before I got shot up, when I was laid up in that coma it gave me time to look back on my life and I realized that my life, freedom, and family was more important than the streets. I made a promise to God that if he spared me that I would give my life over to him and accept him as my Savior. When I opened my eyes after six long months and saw Zoel and my kids surrounding me, seeing them cry and thank God that I made it through made know it was time to get right and leave them streets alone. I mean don't get it twisted I keep my street mentality, but I choose to let God handle my battles while I lead his flock. If you really serious about leaving this life behind then be at service Sunday, testify before God and the congregation, and leave your past life at the altar in order to accept a new way of life. Can you do that?" he asked.

"Yea I can, but I want mama, Lucy, Kendrick, and Jasyira here too," I said.

"I can arrange that; we can make it a surprise for them. Invite Courtnei and Lucas too, the biggest step is showing your son that you wanna change for him," he said as I nodded.

I got much respect for my uncle because he ain't one of these fake ass preachers outchea in Monroe or the surrounding areas that try to con the members outta money to put in his pocket. He actually helps members and give back to our community, he owns his own car dealership, got his own rental properties, and his wife got three clothing stores that she run with a hair salon. He opened all they businesses and built this church from the ground up with the money he had stashed away; I mean yea it was drug money but he did something positive with it. If anybody can help me out this life, I know it's him and I'ma be at service bright and early Sunday morning to leave my old life at the altar.

"Legacy are you gon' be real wit' me or nah?" she asked.

"Man Khy what the fuck is you talkin' 'bout now. Swear yo' ass on my nerve wit' this bitch ass naggin' you been doin' lately," I said.

On me, her ass on a nigga’S nerve wit' this whinin' and naggin' she does, like bruh just shut the fuck up, damn. Ever since she started school and gettin' farther in the pregnancy, she been on this insecure shit accusin' a nigga of cheatin' and shit.

“I wouldn't fuckin' nag yo ass if you just be real wit' me. We back at square one again wit' these nasty hoes at my face over yo' ass like nigga what the fuck!" She yelled.

"What bitches Khy? Nigga 'round here tryna run a fuckin' drug trade and stay on my toes so I don't get popped you really think I'm fuckin' bitches! Already feel like I’m fightin' the world, last thing a nigga wanna do is come to the crib for round two wit' his girl!" I replied.

"We wouldn't have to go to war if you just keep ya dick in ya pants and-"

"My shit stay in my pants unless I’m takin' a piss or fuckin' you which ain't happened since you tol' a nigga you was pregnant and shit. I'm bein' faithful to yo ass, any other nigga would've been stepped out on yo stupid, stubborn, selfish ass but I ain't and I don't plan to. You just bitchin' for nothin' bruh, I swear," I said.

"If yo ass so faithful, why the fuck bitches call and text ya phone at three and four in the mornin' if you ain't fuckin' 'em huh?" she asked.

"Yo ass see why the bitches text or call, I let you answer my shit, the fuck is you talkin' 'bout bae! You kno' these bitches don't mean shit, I keep tellin' yo' ass that but you steady listen to Ty and Dreka, two bitches that can't keep a nigga if he was attached to the fuckin' hip, you sound stupid yo. On me, you makin' yaself look dumb," I chuckled.

I had to laugh a lil 'cause she really did sound stupid. A nigga ain't gotta hide shit from Khy 'cause she answers both of my phones, she knows I ain't fuckin' wit' these thots. She listening to her jealous ass friends and the fucked up shit is them hoes wanna get at me. smh

"Oh it's funny huh! If they don't mean shit, why the fuck you fuckin' wit'em when yo ass got me huh!" she yelled in my face.

"Mayne Khy, you betta back the fuck up out my face ma, real talk. Yo ass gon' believe what the fuck you want over me so I don't even kno' why we havin' this fuckin' conversation anyway." I pushed passed her.

"It ain't 'bout me believing nobody over you, it's 'bout you bein' real wit' me. So you fuckin' these hoes or not Legz?" she asked.

"If I was Khy, what the fuck you gon' do huh? Not shit, but sit yo ass up in this half a million-dollar mini mansion that I pay the bills in and hold up to yo end of this deal 'cause if I wanna fuck fifty bitches I can and will as long as I make sure you and our unborn straight then-"

She cut me off wit' a sharp ass slap to the face. My head snap back from the force of the slap makin' me glare at her wit' anger in my eyes, as she stepped back in fear.

"Legacy, baby I’m-"

"You just slapped me," I chuckled steppin' towards her.

"Baby please I’m so-"

I felt like I was out my body and I wasn't thinkin' as I pinned her to the bed and ripped her clothes off as she struggled underneath me.

"Legacy stop please don-"

Her cries fell on deaf ears as I came outta my clothes. I roughly pushed her legs apart as she punched, scratched, and cried tryin' to get me off of her.

"This what you want Khy, huh? I try to be good to you and love you, but you put yo hands on me. This how you want me to act wit' you, you want me to be rough wit' you," I said.

Her cries and whimpers were unheard as I left bite marks on every exposed portion of her body.

"Legacy don't-"

"You haven't let me touch you in weeks. You're mine Khy, all of you belongs to me. You think I give a damn about them other girls, you really think I'd cheat on you huh?" I asked.

"Legz, stop it you're gonna hurt the babies," she cried out.

That single phrase snapped me back to reality in an instant. I pull back and she was shakin' underneath me wit' tears streamin' down her face; she was scared.

"Khy, baby I'm sorry," I said tryin' to touch her but she pulled away.

"Don't touch me, please." she whimpered.

"Khy, I didn't mea-"

"Legacy, just go please, just leave," she cried softly.

"Baby just-"

"Leave, please Legacy," she sobbed.

I climbed off of her and pulled the covers over her naked body. I ain't bother protestin', I just put back on my clothes and shoes, then grabbed the keys to my Bentley.  I hopped in the car and sped outta the driveway, I needed to clear my head.

I can't believe I did that shit to Khy. The entire thirteen almost fourteen years we been together, I never got rough or put my hands on her no matter how mad I was. When I looked in her eyes, I saw the same fear my mom had in her eyes before my dad would beat or rape her. I told myself that I would never make the woman I love feel that way. I don't know what came over me when she slapped me, I fucked up now she gon' hate me forever. smh