The Swear Jar (29 page)

“Damn it!  Where the hell is
Duncan?  He staked out his territory on Meara when she first got here.  We’ve
been chasing off those single dads and grandpas asking after her.  Now she has
no wedding ring and she’s looking pretty sexy.  Duncan was the rebound guy. 
Now what?  Do we still fight them off or let them try to romance her?”

“Duncan’s still at the Shore.  What
does rebound guy mean?”

“It means Duncan was the first one
to show Meara she’s desirable after her husband’s death.  She knows it now and
the pheromones are going to get strong in here.  Duncan may have made a big
mistake.  If you can get a hold of him, tell him to get back here as soon as
possible.”

Sherrie came over, a horrified look
on her face.  “One of the grandpas waiting for storytime said Miss Meara was at
the gym this morning, working out.  He noticed she wasn’t wearing her wedding
ring and asked me if she’s dating.  We need to speak to Duncan.  What are we
going to do?”

Lucy said grimly, “I tell you what
we’re going to do.  We’re going to let Meara do what she wants.  If Duncan was
the rebound guy, she’s responsible for her own behavior.  If someone asks about
Meara, tell him to ask Meara.  I’m going to track Duncan down.  I’ll call
Duncan’s cell phone.”

Lucy dialed Duncan’s cell phone and
left a message.  She called his home phone and left a message.  She was worried
enough to call Mike.  Mike answered on the second ring.  Lucy made small talk
and then got to her point.  She assumed Mike knew about Meara.

“I don’t like prying into Duncan’s
business, but we’re worried here.  He called me on Sunday to say he would be at
your Shore house until Thursday.  Now it’s Tuesday and his girlfriend’s here. 
I can’t reach him.  You’ll try the house?  Have him call me please?  Thank
you.”

Tom threw his hands up.  “Well?”

“I can’t get a hold of Duncan, so
Mike’s going to call the Shore house.  We’ll find out something soon.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

Duncan didn’t expect the Shore
house phone to ring.  He recognized Mike’s number on the caller id box and
picked up the phone.

“Hello?  Hi, Mike!  How are you? 
I’m fine.  Yes, I’m still here.  Everything’s fine.  Oh, I’ve been a little
busy.  I haven’t checked my phone lately.  What?  Lucy called you?  I’m sorry I
missed her call, but everything’s fine.  I’ll call her.  I was going to call
you.  I was going to ask if it was all right to stay until the weekend.  No,
she’s not here with me.”

Duncan stopped talking.  Mike tried
to fill in the silence with small talk.  Mike wasn’t going to let Duncan clam
up.  Too many people were worried about Duncan.  Mike asked a few questions.

Duncan exhaled.  “I’m not really
sure what happened.  We had an argument Sunday night and Monday morning, she
left.  She didn’t want to talk.  I’m not sure we can fix it.  I’m not sure she
wants to try.  I sat in the backyard, read my books and fed myself.  I’ve been
thinking about what happened and I’m still trying to figure things out.  I
shouldn’t be bothering you with this.”

After Mike spoke, Duncan
responded.  “Well, I’m sort of stranded.  I can rent a car to get home, but I’m
not ready to go back yet.  I know I’m being stubborn, but she also said she was
quitting.  I can’t handle both things right now.  She’s sure it’s over and
doesn’t want to work at the library anymore.  I want to give her some space.  I
thought we could talk about it when I get back.  I should have been careful how
I spoke to her.  I’m working out how to explain to her what I really meant. 
You joked with me about the age issue.  You said it was probably a matter of
self-confidence and jealousy.  I think it’s a self-confidence issue.”

As Mike asked more questions, Duncan
closed his eyes.  “It’s hard to explain.  I love her and she loves me.  I don’t
doubt that.  I’m not really afraid of her leaving me because of the age
difference.  I was hiding behind that a little.  What I’m really afraid of is
being alone again.  She’s made me feel alive again.  I don’t want to lose her
and go back to being numb.  Since she left, I’ve been on auto-pilot.  Don’t get
me wrong, I loved Brenda, but what I feel for Meara is so much deeper.  I’m
lost without her.”

As Mike gave his last words of
advice, Duncan nodded his head.  “I’ll call Lucy and find out what’s going on. 
Then I’ll get a rental car and do exactly what you suggested.  I’ll go get
Meara back.  Thanks, Mike.”

Duncan hung up the phone, feeling
as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.  He couldn’t hide at the Shore
house forever.  He had to face Meara and work things out.  He called the
library.  Lucy answered on the second ring.

“Lucy, it’s Duncan.  I’m sorry I
missed your call.  Mike called.  I’m sorry I didn’t call to let you know the
plans had changed.  I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, don’t lie to me,
Duncan,” Lucy said.  “What’s going on?  Meara’s back to work today and you’re
still down the Shore?  I was shocked this morning to see Meara.  All she’ll say
under direct scrutiny is that you’re no longer together and she’s quitting. 
She shoved a white envelope under your door.  We all know what a white envelope
means.”

“I was hoping she wouldn’t do
that.  Is she still upset?”

“She was a little emotional, but
she held it under control.  She showed up this morning with a new hairdo, a new
outfit and no wedding ring.”

Duncan smiled.  At least she hadn’t
gone back to wearing the ring.  His smile didn’t last long.

“She joined a gym.  There have been
a couple of inquiries as to her dating status.  A few of the single male
patrons have seen her at the gym.  The UPS driver delivered some supplies this
morning and tripped over the boxes when he saw her.  One grandfather thought
she looked a little sad after storytime this morning, so he went and bought her
flowers.”

“What did Meara do?”  Duncan
frowned, becoming jealous.

“She gave him one of her brilliant
smiles and thanked him politely.  The poor guy almost had a heart attack. 
Let’s face it, Duncan.  You were the rebound guy and now she’s ready to see
what life has to offer.  Since June, we’ve been discouraging male patrons from
inquiring about her.  Now she’s no longer with you, she’s getting more
attention.”

“The rebound guy?”

“Yes, the first guy after the end
of a long term, serious relationship.  It doesn’t last, but it makes her feel
good and ready for the next guy.  Surely you’ve heard of the rebound?”

“Not really.  Do you think she
would date one of these men?”

Lucy crossed her fingers and
silently prayed to atone for her fib.  “Who knows, Duncan?  If you’re letting
her go, then let her go.  Why do you care?  It’s like trying to close the
stable door after the horse has gotten out.  Or letting a genie out of the
bottle.  Once it’s done, it’s done.  You showed Meara she could be desirable
and now she’s running with it.  Russell McMahon has called twice.”

Duncan became furious.  “What did
he want?”

“He wanted to know Meara’s favorite
place to eat.  He’s going to call in that raincheck and take her to lunch on
Friday after the meeting.  I told him she likes Lynn’s Café down on Main
Street.”

“The one I took her to?” asked
Duncan incredulously.

“Yes, if she sees the place and it
doesn’t remind her of you, then it’s really over.”  Lucy rolled her eyes.

“What else did Russell want?” asked
Duncan, anxiously.

“He wanted to know what her
favorite flowers are.  I have to call him back.”

“Tell him red roses.”

“That’s not true.  She hates
roses.”

“I know.  He doesn’t need to know
that.”

“Duncan, are you going to stop
playing games?  Is Meara still your girlfriend?  Or is it over?  Are you coming
home or are you hiding at the Shore?  Are getting your girlfriend back before
someone else takes her?”

“I’m not playing games.  Meara’s
still my girlfriend.  I’m coming back just as soon as I can get a rental car. 
Keep those other guys away from her.”

“I understand, but it’ll be hard. 
She’s having quite an effect on the men around here and she isn’t even trying. 
I don’t know what happened between you two, but she’s not a shy little maiden
librarian anymore.”  Lucy bit her lip, hoping her fibs would be forgiven.

“How would you describe it?” Duncan
asked, horrified.

“Tom mentioned the term sex kitten.
She looks like she could purr at any moment.  You have no one to blame but
yourself, Duncan.  If I had to describe it, she’s like a dragon in one of those
fantasy books you like to read.  A fire-breathing dragon that’s glowing and
dangerous to mess with, but worth getting singed or scorched by.”

“Did SHE say anything about being a
dragon?”  Duncan jumped up from his chair.

“No.  Why?”  Lucy stared at the
phone.

“Nothing.  I’m getting off the
phone now.  I’m coming home as soon as possible but I may not come back to the
library until Friday.  Don’t tell anyone I said that.  Okay, Lucy?”

“I understand.  Have a safe trip
and call me if you need me.”

Duncan ached for Meara.  He felt
terrible he had hurt her.  He wanted a chance to explain how he really felt. 
He wondered if she wanted the attention these other men were giving her.  He
wondered if he really was just the rebound guy.  He was jealous of these men
and Russell.  He was going home to claim her and to woo her back.  He was going
to be Sir Duncan.  She made his life complete and he wasn’t giving her up
without a fight.  After the pleasure they had shared, he didn’t want any other
man to know that pleasure.  If she was a sex kitten or a smoldering dragon, she
was his and only his.

He had to plan his return
carefully.  He had to be charming and supportive, but insistent as well.  She
would have to listen to him.  After that, if she still wanted to call off their
relationship and leave the library, he would know he had tried his best.  But
if she did end it, it would kill him.  He called a car rental agency.  They
could get him a car for Wednesday afternoon.  He would have to spend one more
lonely night in the Shore house.  He had changed bedrooms, but the house echoed
with the memories of their time together.  He had no more reason to visit their
bedroom on the top floor.

It was difficult for him to return
to the cottage where they had made love for what could have been the last
time.  He tossed out the champagne and food from the refrigerator.  He had locked
the cottage door behind him and a piece of his heart died.  He went through the
motions of the day and crawled into bed for his final night in the house.  He
needed to practice what he was going to say to her.  He needed to get it
right.  He could get his feelings on the subject down to seven words.  He was
afraid of being without her.

He grabbed the extra pillow and
held it close to his chest.  It wasn’t her, but it was going to be a long
night.  He wondered what she was doing.  He wondered if she was sleeping
alone.  He didn’t think she would replace him that fast, but as passionate as
she was, any man in his right mind would be thrilled to be with her.  He wanted
to call her, but if they argued over the phone, it might make it worse.  He had
hoped leaving her alone would give them time to think.  Now he believed this had
been the wrong thing to do.

She was changing.  The men around
town were noticing.  Would she even want him back?  He began to doubt and he
stopped himself.  He had pushed everyone away since Brenda died.  Meara was in
his heart.  He would not believe their love could be destroyed by one argument
and a few days apart.  He didn’t like when she turned cold, especially when he
knew how warm and loving she truly was.  He had hurt Meara with his words.  Hank
must have done the same.

Duncan hoped Hank had not abused
her.  She had pushed Duncan away as if she had done it before.  He wanted her
to know he would never harm her.  When he got back, he would be honest with
her.  His last thought before falling into a restless sleep was he hoped he
would be strong enough to talk to her first before kissing her.  He wanted her
in his arms so badly his eyes filled with tears.

Meara had a long day at work.  The
library wasn’t the same without Duncan.  She missed him terribly.  She had
butterflies in her stomach constantly.  She tried to put on a smile, but her
nerves were frayed and she wanted to cry.  She had messed up by leaving the
Shore house.  She didn’t know where he was.  He could be at his house, simply
waiting for Monday to accept her resignation and wave goodbye to her.  She had
acted like a child.  She had shown him she was crazy.  He was probably glad she
was gone.

She joined the gym because it had a
pool.  Swimming was one of the few ways she could relax.  She could swim until
she wore herself out.  It calmed her mind, but she was reluctant to swim since
the memory of the Shore house pool was still fresh.  She had skipped dinner
because she was nauseous.  She was nauseous because she had skipped breakfast
and lunch.  It was a vicious cycle she didn’t know how to break.  She wanted to
sleep.

She was glad they had not made love
in her bed.  She wouldn’t have been able to sleep in it.  She couldn’t look at
the couch, remembering the time they had spent there.  Each day he was gone was
like torture to her.  She worried about him.  She wanted to know if he was
still upset with her and if he missed her.  She knew he had used the wrong
words.  He was sensitive about the age difference, but perhaps the problem was
something else.  She wanted to believe he wasn’t using her.

She was to blame for her actions,
not the wine.  When he had hurt her, her emotions were raw.  In her mind, she had
returned to the times Hank had treated her badly.  Ever gentle, Duncan had
tried to soothe her.  Looking back, she was ashamed of the way she had treated
him.  She crawled into bed and hugged her pillow close.  She ached for him. 
She cried bitterly and fell asleep.  She had the nightmare again.

She was in the library, but she
couldn’t find him.  This time, people in the library were trying to distract
her.  When she realized he wasn’t there, she panicked.  The people closed in on
her, asking her questions.  She didn’t want to stop looking for him.  Her heart
raced.  Her limbs felt like she was swimming in molasses.

Lying in bed, she was sweating, her
hands bunched into fists.  Breathing heavily, she stirred, but then passed
right back into the dream.  Now she was in his house, searching the first
floor, calling for him, but no words coming out.  She slowly forced her way upstairs. 
At the top of the stairs, was their Shore bedroom.  She was so confused.

She looked into the dark bedroom. 
Someone was in the bed.  Her heart was pounding.  It had to be him.  She
crawled into bed, edging closer to him.  Her heart slowed.  She didn’t want to
wake him up.  Just as she was about to rest her head against his chest, he
disappeared.  There was an empty space where the blanket and pillow were.

Paralyzed in her own bed, she
screamed, howling in pain.  She cried until she choked.  She was finally able
to wake herself up.  Her eyes and face were swollen with tears.  She looked
around, confused. 

“Where are you, Duncan?  I’m so
sorry.”  She fell asleep, exhausted.

By Friday morning, Meara was
miserable.  There was no sign of Duncan.  She decided today would be her last
day.  Each night, the nightmares made it increasingly difficult to sleep. 
Eating was also an ordeal.  She got ready and headed to the library.  The
quicker the meeting was over, the better.  She drudged through the doors and
headed to her office.  She grimaced at the flowers on the desk.  Men kept
giving her flowers.  She wanted to throw them all away.

Sherrie, the fashion maven, showed
up a few minutes later.  “Look at you!  That’s a beautiful dress.  The blue and
green compliment your coloring.  Let me see, turn around.  Nice.  Knee-length,
empire waist, square neckline.  I like the black bands around the sleeves,
waist and neck.  The pattern is flattering with a mix of colors.  Black flats
with black stockings.  Very nice!”