The Swear Jar (31 page)

“You were going nuts because you
hadn’t seen him.  Now you see him and you want to get away?  The nightmares are
getting worse, aren’t they?  I can see it in your face.  I wish you would tell
me about them.  I could help.  Don’t run away from Duncan.  Obviously, he’s not
the only one learning to use words again.  So are you.  If you love him, stop
teasing him.  You’re punishing him for something you’re both guilty of and
sorry for doing.  Get some sleep and eat something.  Behave yourself!”

“Yes, Miss Sherrie.  I’ll see you
Monday.”

The next few hours crawled. 
Luckily, Meara was able to handle all the Circulation transactions.  She hoped
Tom and Lucy’s friend was all right.  She was happy to help even though she
felt wildly out of her element.  She tried to envision Tom substituting in storytime. 
She chuckled out loud.  Duncan, hearing her laugh, couldn’t help sticking his
head out of the office.  He wanted to avoid her after her last crack about
grandparents’ storytime.  He needed to make it to closing and then he would
talk to her.  He had a plan.  She saw him, her eyes twinkling.  He melted.

“What’s so funny?  Or do I not want
to know?  I’m almost afraid to ask because you might be laughing at me.”

“No, it’s not about you.  You’re
safe for now.  I was thinking how I don’t like the Circulation Desk, but I’ll
do it because I’m needed.  Then I pictured Tom doing a storytime.  It was too
funny.”  She giggled.

He smiled.  “It would be a hard
sell.  He would do it, but he would be terribly awkward.  He’s definitely
better with the senior citizen crowd.”

He grimaced.  He had opened himself
up for another jab from her.

She frowned.  “That’s not really
true.  I can’t see Tom with the little kids, but he gets along with Anne. 
Anne’s enough to drive anyone crazy.  Everyone here gets along with everyone. 
I don’t know enough about Circulation to feel one hundred percent comfortable.”

“You’re doing fine.  It’s something
you learn over time.  And we, meaning Tom, Lucy and myself, marvel at how you
and Sherrie can handle the kids.  We’ve had more kids in here since you started
than in all the years I’ve been director.  You’re amazing.”

Without thinking, he had moved
closer to her.  He was dangerously close to cornering her.  She had bowed her
head while he was praising her.  He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. 
She didn’t move, inhaling deeply and sighing.  He didn’t care if anyone was
looking.  He kissed her once on the lips.

“You’re a warm, loving woman,
Meara.  I need you in my life and in my library.  I have another favor to ask
you,” he whispered.

She squeaked.  “Okay.”

“I have to return the rental car
today.  Could you drive me home from there?”  He held her gaze.

He hoped a little guilt would make
her forget to ask details.  He was also counting on her being distracted by his
kiss.

She stared at him.  “Sure.”

She was smiling so dreamily he
couldn’t stop looking at her.  He wanted to get lost in her eyes, but she
looked so tired.  He stroked her dimple.

“Did you eat lunch?” he asked
quietly.

“Diana spoon fed me some soup.  Is
this day over yet?”  She fought to keep her eyes open.

“Very soon.  Hold on a little
longer.”

Chapter Thirty-Five

Duncan and Meara stood at the Circulation
Desk in amiable silence.  As they waited for patrons to check out books, he
found ways to touch her.  He brushed hair out of her eyes.  He held her elbow
discreetly while chatting with patrons.  He winked at her and touched her
dimple when no one was looking.  She felt as if she was slowly going insane. 
Her heart raced each time he touched her.  She felt as if she was on fire and
frozen at the same time.

Finally, it was fifteen minutes to
closing and there was one last patron.  Duncan knew the elderly lady with snow
white hair and twinkling eyes.  The lady was in her early eighties, but still
sharp and far from fragile.  She carried a modest stack of books.

“Hello, Duncan!  It’s good to see
you.  I’m stocking up on a little light reading for the weekend.  How are you?”
the lady asked.

“Hi, Sophia!  I’m fine.  I haven’t
seen you in a while.  You’re looking lovely today.  I hope everything is fine?”
Duncan smiled broadly.

Dumbfounded, Meara checked out
Sophia’s books.  She wondered if Duncan was flirting with this woman right in
front of her.  Sophia was attractive.  Swaying, Meara’s stomach ached.  Cheeks
flushed, she felt like crying.  She wondered if she was going crazy.

“Sophia, let me introduce Meara
Martin, our Head of Youth Services.  Miss Meara, this is Sophia.  She was a
Board member when I was hired.  She’s been a dear friend of the library for
years.”

“Duncan, don’t make me sound like a
dinosaur.  There’s a lot more kick left in this old lady.  Hello, Miss Meara,
it’s nice to meet you.  Don’t you two make a handsome couple?  Duncan will tell
you I’m a hopeless romantic.  I’ve been with my husband for over sixty years. 
I like how you two coordinated your outfits.  What?  You didn’t realize?” 
Sophia chuckled.  “It must be love.  Have a nice weekend, you two.  It might be
the last warm one for a while.”

Duncan and Meara looked at each
other’s clothes.  His deep cerulean blue tie, white shirt and dark blue suit
did compliment her dress.  They laughed.  He kissed her and stroked her dimple.

“The day is over, Miss Meara,” he
whispered.  “We do make a handsome couple.  What color are you wearing on
Monday?  I’ll make sure I find something to match.”

“I thought you were flirting with
Sophia.  I was getting jealous.  We haven’t decided if I’m coming back on
Monday.  We still need to talk.”

“I know, but I’m hopeful I can
persuade you to stay.  I’ll handle the doors and lights.  You shut down the
computers.  Lock up your office and I’ll meet you back here.”

Feeling very much on autopilot, she
followed his instructions.  The sooner they left the library, the better.  She
wanted to talk, but she also wanted to run away.  As she went into the office
to get her things, she saw his bouquet of flowers.  It would be a shame to
leave them here over the weekend for no one to see.  She cushioned the vase in
a box with some bubble wrap.  She locked up the office and walked down to the Circulation
Desk, the flowers blocking her view.

Duncan’s heart dropped when he saw
her leaving with the flowers.  She must be leaving for good.  His original plan
had been to take her out to lunch after the meeting, but Tom and Lucy’s
emergency had called for a change of plans.  The afternoon had prolonged the
agony of uncertainty between them.  It dawned on him her hostility might have
come from that uncertainty, especially if she was having nightmares.  They
needed to make up.  They craved each other’s affection.  He wanted to hold her
until everything was better.

Wearily, she said, “They’re so
lovely.  I want to take them home.  I want to see them.”

Relieved, he exhaled.  “Let me
carry them out to the car.”

“That would be wonderful, Sir
Duncan.”

She handed him the box of flowers. 
He was carrying a small overnight bag, but she didn’t want to ask him about
it.  She was afraid he would tell her he was going to spend time with someone
else.  She shook her head to clear her thoughts.  The idea sounded crazy to
her.  Still, it was possible he had replaced her.  She trembled.  He held the
door open for her, frowning at her glassy stare.  He walked her to the Jeep,
placing the box of flowers on the floor of the backseat.  He tossed his bag
next to it.

“Will you be able to follow me to
the rental place?”  Duncan asked anxiously.

“If you drive slowly,” she
responded robotically.

He nodded, wondering if this was a
bad plan after all.  He got into his rental car and slowly pulled out of the
lot.  She followed him.  He kept on eye on her.  She was able to follow him
without a problem.  They pulled into parking spots.  He came over to the Jeep.

“The rental people can give me a
ride home if you don’t want to stay,” Duncan said, holding his breath.

“No, I’ll wait.  I said I would
take you home.”

He returned the rental car in
record time.  He climbed into the Jeep.  His plan was back on track.

“You’ll have to give me
directions,” she said.

“I could, but your house is
closer.”  He growled quietly.

Exhausted, her reaction was
automatic.  “Let’s go home.”

Meara drove up the driveway to her
house.  Duncan raised his eyebrows.

“I walked out to the street this
morning in these shoes.  I’m not doing that again.”

He nodded.  “Sensible.  How will
Diana, Ben and Anne react if I’m here?”

“What?  That’s true.  Anne doesn’t
know.  Diana thinks we should talk.  I’m not sure what Ben knows.  If he tries
to punch you, then he’s been told I’m upset.  He’s a sweet guy, but he gets a
little worked up when he thinks I’m upset.”

“You have that effect on me too.”  He
leaned over and kissed her.

She smiled as she got out of the
Jeep.  He took his bag and the flowers out of the back seat.  They were on the
front porch when they heard Diana call to them.

“Meara?  Is that Duncan with you?”

They turned to see Diana and Ben
walking towards them.  Clenching his fists, Ben’s face was grim.  Diana looked
surprised.

“Meara.  Duncan.  What’s going on?”
Diana asked.

“Hello, Diana,” Duncan replied. 
“Meara and I have a lot to work out.  We’ve spent enough time apart.  I’m here
now to take care of her.  She’s tired and not feeling very well.  I’ll be
spending the night.  Possibly the whole weekend.”

Giggling, Meara swung her head to
look at Duncan.  “Well, that explains the bag.”

“Meara?  Is this okay with you?”
asked Diana.

“Yes, Diana, I want Duncan to stay. 
We have to talk,” Meara said, swaying slightly.

Diana took the flowers from Duncan
and grabbed Meara’s hand.  “Let me get you inside.  Duncan, give me a minute
with my sister.”

Ben spoke through gritted teeth. 
“Duncan, may I have a word with you?”

“Yes, Ben.”  Duncan braced himself.

“I haven’t been told much.  All I
know is Meara’s hurt.  I’m not happy.  If Meara wants to give you a chance,
I’ll do the same.  Don’t give me a reason why I have to beat you up.  I like
you.”

Duncan smiled.  “Thank you, Ben.  I
appreciate knowing how you feel.  Nothing has changed.  I love Meara and I want
to make her happy.  We’re having a rough patch.  I’m here to fix it if she’ll
let me.”

Ben breathed a sigh of relief. 
“Good.  I don’t want to beat you up.  Good luck with Meara.  Diana will kill me
for telling you this.  Meara will fight to her last breath for someone she
loves or for something she believes in, but she won’t fight for herself. 
She’ll pull away and withdraw.  She doesn’t think she’s worth it.  She doesn’t
know how to fight.  That’s why she ran from you.  That’s why she’s so tired and
has stopped eating.”

Duncan nodded.  “Thank you for
telling me.  She’s also been having nightmares.”

“I didn’t know that.  It’s the same
crappy front Meara kept up with Hank.  She was different before Hank.  She
changed.  She faded.  With you, she was becoming the old Meara.  She’s fading
again for different reasons, but still fading.  Please fix it if you can,
Duncan.  I can’t stand seeing her like this again.  It hurts Diana too.”

“I will, Ben.”

Diana came out of the house.  “I’ve
propped her up on the couch.  I can’t get her to eat.  She’s also having
trouble sleeping, but I think you already know that.  I appreciate you wanting
to take care of her.  I hope you can work things out.  She has a difficult time
asking for what she wants and getting what she needs.  I hope you can get
through to her.  Ben’s bark is worse than his bite, but we both love her.”

“I love her too, Diana,” Duncan
said.  “That’s why I’m here.  Good night to you both.”

Diana and Ben held hands walking
back to their house.  Walking in to Meara’s house, Duncan locked the door
behind him.  He had no idea where this night would lead, so it was better to be
safe than sorry.  All that mattered was they were together again.  She was
curled up, half asleep on the couch.  She wore her dress and stockings, but she
had kicked off her shoes.

Her hair was tousled.  He liked the
shorter hair, but he missed the long locks he could curl his fingers into when
kissing her.  He sat on the couch next to her, taking her feet onto his lap. 
He massaged them one at a time.  Her eyes flew open.  Working out the tension
in her feet, he had her practically purring.

“You look good in that suit.”  She
flirted with him, playing with his tie.  “And I know you’d look good out of
that suit.”

“You look good in that dress,” he
grinned.

“Want to see me out of it?”  She
pulled his tie so she could kiss him.

“Yes, but until you’re here, heart,
soul, body, and mind, I’ll wait.”  He hoped he meant it.

“You don’t think I’m all there? 
Like I’m crazy or something?”  Her stomach growled.

“Your stomach answered your own question. 
Until you’re feeling more like yourself, I’ll wait.  I’m going to make you
something to eat.  No protesting.  Sit like a good girl and I’ll be right
back.”

She inhaled sharply.  He called her
a good girl.  It reminded her of the cottage.  She wanted to remember the good
memories of that time.  She watched him rummage around her kitchen looking for
food.  He opened the refrigerator.

“Woman!  Why is there no food in
this house?  The state of your kitchen is sorry indeed.  We’re going food
shopping tomorrow.  And don’t fight me on that.”

She giggled.  She put her head back
on the couch and watched him.  He found something to eat.  He pulled two plates
out of the cabinets.  Her eyes became heavy.  Soon, she was asleep.

He brought over the plates.  “I
could only make peanut butter and strawberry preserves sandwiches.”

Realizing she was asleep, he
lowered his voice.  “I’ll put these back in the fridge in case you wake up. 
Time for bed.”

Duncan helped Meara to her
bedroom.  He sat her on the bed and kissed her forehead.  She was closing her
eyes again.  He pushed her dress up to her thighs.  He removed her stockings
and placed them on the slider rocking chair in the corner.  He pulled the dress
over her head.  She had on black panties and a silky black bra.  He exhaled
deeply.  He hung the dress up in her closet.  When he returned, she was lying
on the bed, her feet on the floor.  The rise and fall of her breasts made him
nervous.

He felt awkward taking off her
bra.  Being so close to her again had him aroused, but he wanted to behave
himself.  He remembered the trick she had used during her striptease at the
Shore house.  He sat her up, and placed her pajama top on her.  Then he reached
around to unhook her bra, but there wasn’t anything to unhook.

“It unhooks in the front.  It’s a
tricky one,” she giggled.

He couldn’t resist kissing her
dimple.  He ran his hands up the front of her pajama top, lightly stroking her
belly.  He ran his hands over her breasts, using his thumbs to tease her
nipples.  He kissed her.  She opened her legs and wiggled closer to him.  He
found the clasp to unhook the bra between her breasts.

His hands were trembling slightly. 
“How?”

“Here, I’ll show you.”  Closing her
eyes, she lowered herself onto the bed and pulled up her pajama top.  “See?  Up
and in.  Then apart.  Now your turn.”

“Oh, boy.”

He pulled her top down and unhooked
the bra.  He slipped it out from under her shirt.

“You’re no fun tonight,” she
grumbled.

He kissed her.  “What side of the
bed do you want?”

“The same side as usual.  Did you
pack pajamas in your overnight bag or are you going naked?”  She climbed under
the covers.

“I brought pajamas.  I’ll be right
back.”

“I don’t get a show?  Bummer.”  She
curled up and tried to wait for him.

He went into the bathroom and took
off his suit.  He hung it up behind the bathroom door.  He changed into his
pajamas.  His heart was pounding.  He had been so lonely without her.  He was
simply happy to be close to her again.  His plan had been to talk when they got
to her house, but she was in such bad shape, it would have to wait.

He loved her.  She loved him.  That
wasn’t going to change.  They could argue and tease each other to the point of
cruelty, but they weren’t going to stop loving each other.  He padded out to
her bed.  She was fast asleep.  He crawled in beside her and pulled her towards
him.  He wrapped his arm around her waist.

He kissed the back of her head. 
“Good night, Meara.  I love you.  I’ve missed you so much.”

She mumbled.  “Night, Duncan. 
Love.  Miss.”

The last part was almost inaudible,
but he smiled.  He knew what she meant.  They fell into a deep, relaxed sleep. 
He had gotten used to her moving around and sleeping in weird positions, but
tonight, she didn’t move.  She had gotten used to his snoring, but he was
silent.  They were both exhausted and relieved.