The Trouble with Polly Brown (86 page)

“Oh, yes indeed, Lady Butterkist. We will certainly do our best to sort things out, for at the end of the day we are a warm and very close-knit family. Aren't we, children?”

There was a deathly hush in the room, so much so you could easily have heard a pin drop.

“Children, must I repeat myself again? We
are
a close-knit family, aren't we?” a now very demoralized Aunt Mildred demanded to know. “Children, answer me when I speak, for I do require an answer.”

“Yes, Aunt Mildred,” they morosely replied.

“Those appletude pies had better begin their good work, and soon,” a very agitated Lady B. managed to mumble under her breath.

“Mildred, pray, tell me, has Polly already gone up to her brother's room, or otherwise where is she?”

“Oh, Lady Butterkist, after she changed she was then whisked away by Boritz to go and join her friend Lucinda. As we speak, Boritz is probably amusing them all with one wild cock-'n'-bull story after another. Such is his forte,” she halfheartedly laughed.

“Very well. Then please lead the way, for it will be dark before we know it, and we must soon get on the road.”

However, before she could leave, Lady Butterkist felt she could not leave without addressing the children one final time. “Children, forgive my involvement in this situation, but I have found it most grievous and perplexing to stand and watch. If I can leave you with one small but sound piece of advice, it would be this: I assure you now that all your lives would feel a lot richer and happier if you were to think of showing each other a little more courtesy and consideration. Is that not true, Mildred?”

“Oh, yes, yes—perfectly true, Lady Butterkist.”

“After all, I happen to believe that all you handsome young boys are fine gentlemen in the making, so it is inconceivable that such decent, self-respecting boys would stoop so low as to be both foul-mouthed and quarrelsome by threatening each other with fat lips and bleeding noses at the drop of a hat, in this case over a small, insignificant amount of apple pie,” she sadly stated as she witnessed a large piece of pie on the floor that had clearly been overlooked by Pitstop.

“And as for you lovely young ladies, well, it is pretty clear to me that you are certainly princesses in training, and every princess I've ever had the good fortune to meet has been a most gentle and gracious creature and certainly not given to aggressive acts such as hair-pulling and hurtful name-calling. So think on these things, will you?”

“Yes, ma'am,” the younger children happily responded.

“So no hard feelings, eh, children?” she said as she persisted to give them all a cheerful and friendly smile. “Now go and enjoy the remainder of the delicious apple pie,” she gently ordered.

The older children manifested great resilience to her command by not twitching or budging an inch. Instead, they chose to stand perfectly still looking intensely tight-lipped and strained, for clearly they were not the slightest bit amused by her severe reprimand.

The younger ones, however, were of an entirely different mind and so reciprocated by breaking into beautiful smiles that very nicely showed off their irregular and gappy teeth as they lifted their hands to brightly and warmly wave good-bye to the very nice lady. They then wasted no time at all in heading off toward the table to do just as the kind lady had suggested, and that was to get their fair share of the pie before the older ones finally came to their senses and once again adopted their previous bullying positions by roughly pushing them aside so that they alone could quickly gobble down every last crumb.

“Oh, by the way, Mildred. One last thing. Can you explain to me why that child over there, Gailey, I believe her name to be, is wearing the dress, shoes, and tiara that only a matter of a few hours ago I gave as a personal gift to Polly?”

“Oh, dear. I had not noticed. Perhaps Polly allowed Gailey to try the dress on. Yes, that will be it,” she unconvincingly stuttered and spluttered, her face going a deep scarlet.

“Well, forgive me, but I would be most pleased if you were to ask Gailey to kindly hand it back to me, as Polly will be needing to take this dress away with her on holiday. You see, I am planning the odd surprise party or two.”

“Oh, right.”

“So kindly see to it that everything is back in her possession before we take our leave.”

“Yes, Lady Butterkist. I will go and speak with Gailey right now and order her to immediately take off the dress,” a very embarrassed Mildred miserably mumbled. “So please wait here, and as soon as the dress is back in your possession, we will go and find Polly and the others.”

“And the tiara.”

“Yes, of course. The tiara as well.”

“Oh, I'd be most delighted if the shoes too were also to be returned, as I'm sure you will wholeheartedly agree with me that they do much to complete the ensemble.”

“Yes, yes.”

Mildred left Lady Butterkist and marched like a poker-faced drill sergeant over to where Gailey still stood to whisper sweet nothings directly in her ear.

“Gailey, get that bloomin' dress off right now,” she muttered.

“Why?” Gailey loudly moaned.

“Shh. Don't argue with me. Just do as you're told, girl,” Mildred ordered through clenched teeth.

“It's not fair. The dress is now mine. Uncle Boritz told me—”

“Gailey, shut up and just do as you're told, or else I'll be forced to rip it off you myself. Do you understand me?” she growled.

Gailey's face dropped a mile as with her nose now completely out of joint she turned to sulkily make her way out of the room to change out of the dress.

“Oh, and she wants the shoes and tiara as well,” Mildred called out after her.

“If I can't have this rotten old dress then neither can she,” she raged as she tore the dress from her body, deliberately ripping it at the seams. Kicking off the shoes, she then angrily picked them up, only to throw them hard against the wall.

“Stupid, stinky shoes. Who wants them anyway?” she cried.

After walking over to pick up them up from where they were strewn, she then rather spitefully proceeded to dig out the little diamond sequins that made a delightfully pretty pattern on the front section of both shoes. Not quite finished, she then willfully threw the tiara to the floor and began to crush it underfoot until she was thoroughly satisfied that the tiara was irretrievably damaged.

“There, Fester. You are now officially deposed,” she sniggered. “Yep, Polyester, all's fair in love and war.”

With a big smile finally alighting her otherwise forlorn face, she willfully scrunched the torn dress into a tight ball before tossing it, along with the shoes and desecrated tiara back, into its original bag. Then, reaching for the folded pink tissue that earlier had played its part in keeping the gift a hidden surprise, she used that same tissue paper to hide her latest mean and foul crime.

All meaningful conversation between Mildred and Lady Butterkist was utterly depleted due to the sheer awkwardness of this latest inexcusable and most embarrassing situation.

Gailey quickly handed over the bag to Aunt Mildred before racing off to join the other older children.

“My profuse apologies, Lady Butterkist,” Mildred forced herself to mutter as she dutifully handed the bag over.

“Apology accepted,” Lady B quickly responded.

“Now, I think without further adieu we should make haste in finding our way back to the sitting room,” Mildred tersely announced.

Mildred chose to keep all her thoughts to herself as she efficiently escorted Lady Butterkist back to their private sitting room to collect Polly. “Who on earth does holier-than-thou Lady Mucktruck think she is?” she angrily mumbled under her breath. “I don't know how much more of this impossible woman I can reasonably be expected to tolerate. Really I don't,” she quietly moaned.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

JAMES AND POLLY GET REACQUAINTED

H
AVING FINALLY COME
to rescue Polly from Uncle Boritz's very oppressive charms, Mildred and Lady Butterkist left the rest of the party, and taking Polly with them, they headed up the heavy oak staircase to make their way to the boys' dormitory. They walked in complete silence as they turned down one long corridor after another before finally reaching the closed door of the dormitory that held the sick child.

“Mildred, before we head in, forgive me for asking, but what exactly is young James's malady?”

“Well, as you ask, Dr. Glumchops, the family practitioner, says he has unluckily suffered from a spot of very distressing pneumonia. But mark my words, he's well on his way to a full recovery,” she said very taut-lipped.

“Well, I daresay Polly must be most relieved to hear that her brother is finally on the mend,” Lady Butterkist casually remarked as she followed Mildred into the room.

“James, how good it is to get to see you at last,” Polly joyfully cried as she rushed over to his bed to greet him with one of her overpoweringly humongous hugs. “I'm so happy to see you. Oh, you'll never know just how happy just seeing you makes me feel. I feel as though I could explode with joy and excitement,” she shouted as she once again threw herself into his arms.

“Polly, if you hug me any tighter, I swear I'll suffer more than a few cracked ribs,” James half joked as he began to cough and wheeze.

“James, you still look so poorly to me. Are you eating enough?” Polly asked out of deep concern as she drew back to stare him directly in the eye.

James tilted his face downward and chose to completely ignore the question.

“Polly, it is so good to see you. I am so glad you are finally home, and I am at a loss for words because you look so—”

“Positively glowing! I think they're the two words you're looking for,” Lady Butterkist quickly interjected.

“You're bang on, for she looks really great,” James replied, breaking into a big smile.

“Well, James, I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, as well as ridiculously excited, for I need to let you know that I am going away, although only for a short while, as dear Lady B. feels the break will do me a lot of good. We are heading down to the west country, and apparently the scenery down there is magnificently splendid.”