The Trouble with Polly Brown (89 page)
As soon as they were hurtling down the long and very winding lanes, Polly decided that this was an opportune moment to let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Well, Polly, my girl, you braved and mastered that ordeal and came through it triumphant, so well done. Now let us forget your guardians and the castle, and distance ourselves from every sorely unpleasant memory so that we can thoroughly enjoy and thus appreciate this unexpected gift of a holiday. So, sit back and enjoy the ride. Is Tiddles sitting comfortably?”
“Yes, she's safe and happy,” the girls replied.
Giles also breathed the deepest sigh. “I thought you'd never come back and rescue us from that insufferable hedonistic and hideously smarmy man,” Giles cheerfully confessed. “I feel so soiled that I find myself with the urgent need to throw myself into the shower and scrub myself down, as well as throw my clothes into a washing machine, for I feel so terribly soiled by my time in his presence.”
“Well, Giles dear, I understand fully and so share your sentiments. I cannot thank you enough for escorting me. You are such a wonderful support and companion. When we arrive at our destiny, there will be plenty of opportunity for a shower and change of clothes. And, in light of all you have just shared, let me remind you that we only paid a short visit, but Polly and the other children, they live under his regime every day of their livesâand I might add, with no relief. So we must count our blessings and do all we can to find a way into the other children's young but atrociously dark lives.”
“You're absolutely right, madam.”
“Right. Allow me to tell both you girls that our journey will be long, so I have taken the trouble of booking us into a very nice bed-andbreakfast for the night,” she stated as she turned her head to address the girls, who were sitting stretched-out, looking very relaxed and happy on the backseat of the car.
“As Boritz cared to hint, the roads are too dangerous and narrow, so I think we should be mindful of all this. Hmm, yes, we would do well to err on the side of caution,” she advised.
It would be less than an hour before they pulled off the road, and after going down a short, very bumpy lane, they arrived outside the bed-and-breakfast.
“Oh, Lucy, take a good look, for the house is all lit up with beautiful outside lights,” a wide-eyed Polly cried.
“Ahh, yes. Girls, here we are at Mistletoe Cottage. Oh, how I love this gorgeous and so special place. So come on, girls. Hop out of the car, and let's go inside and introduce ourselves, shall we?”
In no time at all they were comfortably settled in, with the girls extremely happy to discover they were sharing a bedroom all to themselves. Giles headed down the corridor toward his room, and Lady Butterkist informed both girls that she would be in the room right next to them.
“I am just a hair's breadth away if you need me. But kindly remember that these walls are astonishingly paper thin, so no girlish giggling or pillow fights tonight, for we are all in dire need of some beauty sleep. Yes, girls, may I take the time to remind that lack of sleep produces spots. I will give you both a whole twenty minutes to quickly freshen up, and then we must head downstairs to the dining hall for a spot of supper before we head back upstairs to retire for the night. Here, Tiddles. You come with me,” she cried.
After tucking into a hearty roast chicken dinner followed by strawberry trifle covered with thick whipped cream, they all said their weary good-nights and headed off to bed.
The next morning, as requested by Lady B., they all arose early, and after a very satisfying full English breakfast, they made plans to continue on with their journey.
Giles, with a red pen in hand, considerately began marking a few places on his laid-out map that would appear to be excellent places to stop for refreshments. Lady Butterkist then got up and quietly disappeared, as she wished to hand back the bedroom keys and settle up the bill with the head receptionist before continuing on with their journeyâheading toward the Devon Coast and then farther down toward delightful Cornwall.
By midmorning the sun was shining so brightly that Lady Butter-kist demanded that Blenkinsopp pull over in order to pull down the roof.
“Simply splendid! That's much better. Now we can breathe in the fresh country air and at the same time fully engage ourselves in God's creation as we further delight in the glorious countryside while listening to the birds singing in the trees and hedgerows. Oh, I know I say it every time, but I will surely never tire of the breathtaking beauty of our wonderful English countryside,” she very contentedly sighed.
On the way down to the west country they all joined in to play I Spy, and when they grew tired of that game, they chose to sing their heart out with every single song that came to mind. Polly was very surprised to discover that dear Giles, or Blenkinsopp, as he was often called by her ladyship, had an extremely good voice. She was also equally surprised to discover that he was very up to date when it came to who was in and who was out where pop songs were concerned. Yes, amazing as it might sound, he knew which group was number one in the charts; in fact, he was more than able to recite the whole top twenty!
Polly and Lucy sang and giggled, then giggled and sang as they sat huddled together in the back with Tiddles, and cranking along, the old jalopy slowly made its journey down one picturesque country lane after another.
Early afternoon came, and Lady Butterkist confirmed to all that they were well over halfway toward arriving at their destination. She also announced that despite her hearty breakfast, she was once more feeling pretty famished, and so she suggested that they make a quick stop at a pretty English teahouse. In no time at all they were munching their way through thickly buttered crumpets, followed by hot scones smothered with warm lemon curd or strawberry jam and then piled high with tablespoons of thick clotted cream. This was happily washed down with endless cups of steaming tea.
An excited Polly took hold of her serviette and immediately tucked it under her chin like an infant's bib.
“Child, what are you doing?” Lady Butterkist asked, a look of horror written all over her face.
“Why, I'm tucking in my serviette to prevent any spillages from ruining my clothes,” Polly innocently replied.
“Well, child, kindly remove the serviette from under your chin, and delicately place it on your lap, for that is where it belongs.”
“Oh!”
“That is, unless you're something of a swarthy, string-vested Italian about to launch into a bowl of meat sauce and spaghetti, in which case, to place your serviette under your chin becomes almost forgivable.”
“Yes, Lady B.”
“There. That's much better. I do believe you, my little princess, are in urgent need of some useful etiquette lessons, or you'll never get to go to the ball,” Lady B. sniffed.
Polly secretly smiled as, after placing the serviette on her lap, it promptly slid down onto the floor and came to rest by her feet. At first she pretended not to notice, but minutes later found her giving the serviette a quick kick under the table. Luckily for her, Lady Butterkist was well away with the stars reveling in the joys that an English high tea brings.
“Oh, these walnut and raspberry scones are absolutely
spondelicious
,” her ladyship loudly announced. Everyone at the table quickly agreed.
“Lady Butterkist, do be an angel and pass me the sugar bowl,” Giles politely requested. “Oh, and while I'm at it, madam, I've said it before, but I promise that
spondelicious
is not a genuine word.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes, I know, for I have taken the liberty of checking with my English dictionary.”
“Oh, Blenkinsopp, don't be such a mischievously analytical heretic; there is simply no other word I know that can go anywhere near describing these wonderful scones. So
spondelicious
might not be a word in your books, but it is in mine. So there,” she snorted as she then munched into another scone piled mountain high with clotted cream.
With a mouthful of scone still not swallowed, Polly began to laugh and giggle at Lady Butterkist's playful dispute with Giles, at the same time inadvertently spraying the table with crumbs from her mouth.
She then turned to Lucy to announce that for the first time in her life she was feeling as free as a bird.
“Polly, do be a dear and close your mouth while you're eating, for it's not very ladylike to have glimpses of your half-eaten food churning around in a manner much similar to that of your smalls spinning in the washtub.”
“Oops! Forgive me,” Polly cried, accidentally spraying the table with yet more crumbs of her half-eaten scone.
“Me too, Polly!” Lucy cried. “I know this break has only just begun, but already I am wishing that it would never come to an end.”
“All right, young ladies. If you're finished, then I propose that we all pay a quick trip to the little girls' room to freshen up. Oh, and Blenkinsopp, would you then be a dear by escorting both girls and Tiddles here back to the car, and I will follow on shortly?”
“Yes, madam.”
“I have just one teeny weenie but all the same urgent phone call that I need to make, and then we can be on our merry way.”
“All well and good, madam.”
“Girls, the good news is that we are less than two hours away from our final destination, so go with Giles, and I will be back before you can say, âIs there any mustard in this custard?'”
W
ITH DEEPLY CONTENTED
hearts and thoroughly satisfied stomachs, the girls happily rested in the back of the car, closing their eyes and allowing the fresh breeze to playfully caress their hair while the mellow sun preferred to kiss and taunt their fair, dimpled cheeks with its gentle, comforting rays of warmth.
Moments later found both girls fast asleep.
“Bless their little cotton socks. They look like a pair of angels out for the count after arriving back from some roller-coaster assignment,” Giles cheerfully commented.
“Sounds more like us,” her ladyship replied very tongue in cheek. “Personally, I think it is good for both of them to have this little opportunity for a cat nap, as I am a firm believer that sleep does much to restore our minds and bodies, and the poor darlings have gone through much tribulation these past months.”
“That's very true,” Giles commiserated. “So tell me straight, Lady B., am I correct in my presumption that your little phone call had much to do with finding out firsthand how the ribbon-cutting event panned out at the hospital gala?” he asked, turning to deliberately look her directly in the eye.
“Oh, Giles Blenkinsopp, you don't miss a thing! You're a naughty little rascal for asking me such things; however, as the girls are sound asleep, I suppose that now is as good a time as any to reveal all.”
“Oh, please do!” he cried with the keenest sense of urgency.
“Well, much as I suspected, I'm afraid things did not go that well at all.”
“Quite what do you mean? Come along, don't lead me up a blind alley, for it's time to spill all the beans,” he cried. “Did Freddie fail to turn up?”
“Oh, no. He turned up all right, but sadly he was legless before he even got out of his car.”
“What do you mean by âlegless'?”
“Oh, far too much drinky-poohs, Giles.”
“You mean he was inebriated, madam? As in, worse for the wear?”
“Yes, Giles, as drunk as a skunk on a pirate's ship, to be more precise! For, sad to say, there was nothing whatsoever redeemable about him that day. He was sadly very much worse for the wear, as well as high as a kite on every imaginable and highly suspect medication.”
“Goodness gracious me! Well, in light of all you have cared to share, did he even manage to stand up straight long enough to cut the ribbon?”
“Well, I believe he did, but there was a lot of upset and commotion surrounding the whole ghastly event.”