The Truth About Fairy Tales (13 page)

             
I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn’t believe I was any of those things. In my eyes, I was still that scared, frightened little girl I’d been for so long, hiding in her secret place, waiting for life to knock her down again and take away her happiness.

             
“Come on, we should probably turn in as well.” I suspected as he helped me to my feet, this was going to be Jackson’s new favorite saying.

             
He stopped in front of my door and looked down at me. I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t understand all of this need inside of the new Maggie. I’d never been this taken aback by anyone before.

             
Jackson kissed me, which was nothing but a mistake, feeling the way that I did. I couldn’t stop my reaction to him any more than I could keep from returning his kiss with all of this new gentle wanting inside of me.

             
“Maggie,” he whispered against my ear when he was the strong one again and ended the kiss before it went any further down the forbidden path. “You know we can’t do this, don’t you?”

             
“Why not?” I answered and pulled him closer, thrilled by the way I could feel him waver just a little. He wanted this as much as I did, but he was the strong one.

             
“Because we’re in your grandmother’s house and she’d never forgive me if she found out. She wouldn’t exactly approve of me deflowering her little girl.”

             
This captured my full attention and had me wondering just how much Jackson had guessed about that first night.

             
“Go inside and we’ll talk until you get sleepy.” He came into my room, smiling at my little girl white painted furniture with canopy bed. “Get ready for bed. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

             
I started to undress, not really thinking about what I was doing, when he stopped me. “Maggie, what do you think you’re doing? How strong do you think I am?”

             
I looked up at him confused. He’d seen me wearing absolutely nothing more times, than I could remember. What was the problem now?

             
He pointed toward the bathroom. “Go in there and undress before I change my mind and forget where we are or how I’m trying very hard to make a good impression on your grandmother.”

             
Jackson held me while I tried to fall asleep that night, but being close to him even though he was still fully dressed and laying above the covers was making sleep the last thing on my mind.

             
“So what did you and Lee talk about?” I asked while stifling a yawn. “It must have been some talk because you guys were certainly gone long enough.”

             
“That, my sweet Mary Margaret, is for me to know.” I tried to pull away from him to argue the point but he wasn’t having any of it. “Sorry, little bit, but I’m not telling you. So be nice now and go to sleep.”

Chapter Eight

Jackson turned out to be nothing like the man I believed him to be. He surprised the heck out of me by attending church with my grandmother and me. I’d made it a point to let him know that my grandmother attended regularly and even though I’d gotten into the bad habit of not going to church in Austin, I always went with Gran whenever I was home.

I woke up late the following morning
and had to rush to get dressed in that new dress I’d actually bought more for Jackson’s benefit than God's. When I was finally presentable, I went downstairs to find that he was dressed in his Sunday best and just about as surprised as my grandmother to see me in a dress.

             
There was no mistaking just how impressed Jackson was by my dress, because I could see it in his eyes. The poor man was probably in shock.

             
While my grandmother went to get her Bible, I told him again that he didn’t have to go with us if he didn’t want to.

             
“Oh, I think I do now, even if I didn’t feel the need before. After seeing you in that dress, well I’m definitely having some very impure thoughts.” He leaned over and kissed me while I was still trying to compute those words.

             
Luckily, Grandma Sarah came back just in time to rescue me before I could show Jackson just how naive I truly was.

****

              Everyone in the small congregation came by to say hello and meet Jackson. I think no one expected me to be there with someone like him, which only proved how mismatched we truly appeared to everyone.

             
I spent the rest of the day showing him around the town where I’d grown up. I’m sure for someone like Jackson who’d attended the most exclusive schools around the tiny little building that housed all twelve grades probably seemed very old fashioned.

             
Lee took us all out to dinner. It was such a nice evening and I couldn’t understand why I felt this sad. I’d certainly had to say goodbye to them enough before without all this emotion. Now it felt as if I were letting go of something important.

             
That night, just like the night before, Jackson held me while I tried to find sleep, which was just as illusive tonight as it had been in the past.

             
“Maggie, why is it that you never talk to your mother?” Jackson asked me that unsettling question as I lay against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart. In an instant, I was a frightened little girl again.

             
I pulled out of his arms and he didn’t try to stop me. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

             
“I can see that you don’t like talking about your mother, but maybe it’s time you did. I know what you went through growing up, little bit, but maybe it’s time that you did, to face the hurt once and for all and get beyond it.”

             
I got out of bed and went to my window, looking out at the stars above. “No, it isn’t. You have no idea what it was like growing up with her. I still can’t think about it without…”

             
I couldn’t think about it. Not now, not ever. I hated that time in my life so much that I’d tried to suppress it though it was never that far from me.              Jackson propped himself up against my pillows, watching me, no doubt aware of everything I felt.

             
“I know it’s hard, but you don’t have to go through it alone. I’ll be there with you every second of the way. Maybe it would help you to make peace with the past once and for all and leave it in the past.”

             
I turned from him then. I didn’t want to make peace with it or my mother. I wanted to bury it away so deep that it would never see the light of my memories again. I’d tried that for more than twenty years now and it hadn’t worked.

             
Jackson came to my side and pulled me back against his body. “Just think about it. You don’t have to make any decisions tonight. It’s just something to consider. Now, come back to bed…”

****

             
It was so hard saying good-bye to my grandmother the following morning. I’d almost forgotten how much I missed her in the months that I’d been away.

             
The drive back to Austin was a quiet one for me. I remembered too clearly our conversation from the previous night. My mother still lay between us, weighing heavy on my heart.

             
When we got into town, Jackson didn’t drop me off at my apartment as I'd expected. Instead, he drove to his house, dropped the bags by the door, put sweet little Sidney out in his fenced backyard, and took me upstairs to his bed.

             
“I’ve been going out of my mind…I can’t wait any longer.” And so for the rest of the afternoon, until he dropped me off at work later that night, we spent our time together catching up on touching each other.

             
Jackson walked me to the door of the restaurant and kissed me good-bye and I tried not to behave like some foolish girl in a romance novel. He’d told me he and Sidney would keep each other company until I came home.

             
“I’ll pick you up after your shift.”

             
I tried to tell him that he didn’t have to do that.

             
“I can just take a cab.”

"No way, Maggie. I'll pick you up."

              I was on cloud nine. This little scared girl from Santa Anna couldn’t believe someone like Jackson Riley would be interested in me. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew it was only a matter of time before it came. It had to. I was too happy and that definitely wasn’t allowed for little Maggie Monroe. I was waiting for my old life to catch up with me again.

             
I was spending so much time at Jackson’s home lately that it was getting hard to remember all the things I needed to keep with me to function. Like books and well, a comb. He’d told me to leave some of my things at his place, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready for that type of letting go. That meant he held too much importance in my life and after all, my days here in Austin were numbered.

             
It was just a few weeks before Thanksgiving. The days were rapidly speeding by to that fateful day when I would be finished with law school and I would need to back up all my tough talk. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that when I was so in love with Jackson.

             
We’d been seeing each other for months now, but my friends still didn’t have a clue about Jackson. I was keeping him under wraps, although Serena was more than a little suspicious about this newer softer Maggie.

             
I think she’d decided something was definitely up and she was determined to find out what. She phoned me on my day off to pretty much call my bluff.

             
Jackson’s work schedule had him spending long hours at the office and me being the scared frightened girl that I was had convinced myself that this was just his way of getting rid of me.

             
I’d just about talked myself into believing he was secretly seeing Miss Monday through Friday again. At least that was the only explanation I could come up with to make sense of why I was so anxious to agree to Serena’s ridiculous idea that Friday night.

             
“I know this guy who I think would be perfect for you,” she told me in that challenging voice of hers that made it clear she was waiting for me to crack. I couldn’t.

             
“Um, really…who is he?” I resisted the urge to become physically ill. Here I stood in Jackson’s living room, talking to my best friend about another man. But then, my guy was probably out with Miss Friday Night right now.

             
“His name is Drew, and you’re going to love him. Meet us at The Club at eight.” She didn’t really give me time to back out. She just hung up the phone while I stood trying to decide what to do.

             
I couldn’t go through with it, could I? After all, I had absolutely no interest in this Drew person whoever he might be, no matter how perfect Serena thought he was for me. But then I remembered Jackson’s call just a few minutes earlier telling me he wouldn’t be home until late. Why not? I didn’t owe him anything, did I? I was just someone he slept with. I’d be gone from his life and probably forgotten soon enough.

             
By eight, I’d just about lost my nerve as I stood waiting for Serena outside of The Club, one of those trendy spots that twenty somethings hang out at. The kind with too loud music and too outrageous clothing.

             
Tonight was no different. It was so loud that I couldn't hear a word poor old Drew said, not that it mattered. The second I shook his hand I knew he was just one of those foolish boys who wouldn’t hold my interest long.

             
Serena and I attempted to chat while Drew tried to convince me to dance with him. I refused and Serena’s curiosity went into full alert. I thought I heard her ask me what was up with me, but I couldn’t be sure, so I pretended not to hear a thing.

             
I’d never felt so guilty before. Where was this coming from? I hadn’t exactly done anything to feel guilty about had I? I was just out with my friend and her boyfriend…and my date.

             
A few minutes later, my cell phone rang and I almost lost it when I heard Jackson’s voice.

             
I was just able to make out the words “where the hell are you,” before I snapped the phone shut and tried to smile at Serena and my date while pretending not to hear her next question.

             
‘Who was that?’

             
I yelled wrong number over the music just as the phone in question chirped again and I recognized Jackson’s home number although I didn’t bother answering it. At Serena’s ‘Aren’t you going to answer that,’ look, I added “Some people just don’t get it do they?” And then I put the phone on vibrate. It was safer that way really.