The Weakness in Me (14 page)

**

Two weeks later, Jason was practically dancing waiting for Sammy to get home from work so he could leave. That wasn’t entirely accurate, he didn’t want to leave completely… he had plans for the evening that he’d been looking forward to for the last month. It took everything he had not to pace in front of the picture window in her living room, staring at the driveway, waiting for her to finally return from work. It was the beginning of the new year and her first full week back, but he’d have to wait to get an update on how it went until tomorrow evening.

“Hey Sammy!
I’m glad you’re finally home!” Jason said, grabbing his keys from the sofa table the second he saw her chocolate brown hair peek through the doorway. “I’ve gotta run! Corigan is down in her playroom, playing with her drums, so you might be safer to stay above deck for a few.”

“Where are you headed?” Sammy asked, setting her laptop case on the floor behind the couch.

“I have to meet McKenna downtown to see a movie. You know how she is about promptness! Having to put up with moody musicians all day makes her a little crazy sometimes,” Jason laughed, as he grabbed his drinking glass he’d forgotten about in his haste to leave from the coffee table and rushing it into the kitchen.

“Oh yes, I’m aware of your sister’s anal re
tentiveness about being tardy. Don’t musicians live in their own world and by their own time table? McKenna is definitely in a league of her own to get
them
to the studio on time,” Sammy called to him, moving to put her mail on the sofa table next to her keys. “What weepy vagina-laden movie is she
dragging
you to this time?”

“I don’t know,
” Jason tried to play aloof. “Some tear-jerking rom com even Courtney wouldn’t agree to see with m- I mean, her,” Jason started, plastering his look of disgust on his face at the thought as he came back into the room, though he knew she probably saw right through him. “Sometimes I wonder if the rest of my sisters even have uteruses!”

“
Oh come on!” Sammy roared. “They have them! You just like estrogen driven plot lines more than they do!” Sammy smirked, folding her arms across her chest and propping her shoulder against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Tilting her head to the side in thought, she added, “And is it uteruses? Or uteri?”

“Damn, I forgot you know what a sucker I am for a chubby girl getting her heart broken and being saved by her soul mate,” he confessed, trying to look embarrassed
, but secretly glad she’d remembered his dirty secret.

“Ugh,” Sammy groaned, “aren’t you going to be late?” she reminded.

“Oh yes!” Jason started toward the door again before remembering his earlier conversation. “Miranda has an appointment with her OB tomorrow morning. Can she bring Lucas over to play with Corigan? I told her I’d watch him if you were okay with it.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Sammy answered, moving toward the steps like she was checking for
the sounds of her daughter’s drumming. “Corigan would love to play with Lucas.”

“Awesome!
Thanks! And yeah, Lucas is only a year and change older than Corigan,” Jason said, opening the front door.

“Oh and Jason?
” she called him back, “An OB appointment? I think that settles the great ‘does my sister have a uterus’ debate right there, doesn’t it?” Jason could see the humor dancing in Sammy’s emerald green eyes.

“
I guess you’re right about that!” he agreed before continuing down the walk to her driveway. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” he said over his shoulder as he opened the door to his truck. He could still hear her genuine laughter echoing through his head as he pulled out of her driveway and headed toward downtown. It warmed his heart to hear it, even if it
was
at his expense, because it didn’t happen often. Usually, he got forced smiles and laughter from Sammy, but since the morning after her anniversary, she’d been improving gradually. He wondered if it was him helping her heal, or if it was because she was finally getting back to her routine. He knew the answer was somewhere in the middle, but he hoped that it was more 60/40 him than returning to work.

**

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’,” Samantha sang softly to Corigan as she tucked her in to her crib. Watching her daughter’s eyes flutter closed, she continued to sing as she stroked her chocolate brown curls.

“What are you
singing
to her?” Samantha jumped at the familiar whisper behind her and turned toward Corigan’s bedroom door. The cerulean eyes she found were alight with laughter. She had to pause when she felt a jolt of something as she gazed into them in the darkened room.

“Ridin’ by Chamillionaire, it’s her favorite,” she shrugged as she
gave Corigan one last look and scooted past him into the hallway. “I thought you went to a movie?”

“I did, but I forgot my inhaler in your kitchen, so I came back, but you are changing the subject!” Jason said in a
teasingly harsh whisper. “What are you going to do when her first sentence isn’t ‘I love you’ but includes something about tapping ass instead?” Jason’s sharp laugh echoed in the quiet hallway.

“SSh!” Samantha moved up the stairs, back toward the kitchen
. She could feel Jason at her back the whole trip, seemingly awaiting an answer to his question. “She’s already said her first sentence and it had
nothing
to do with tapping ass,” she finally answered, pulling a glass from a cupboard above the kitchen sink.

“Oh?
And the sentence was?” Jason leaned his back against the island in the center of the kitchen, arms folded across a pale green polo shirt. Samantha could feel his smugness pulsing through the room. He knew that he had her, the knowledge that he was right echoed between them.

“Um,” Samantha adjusted the hem of her
pale pink sheath dress before moving to pull a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator. Biding her time, she, slowly, poured a tall glass for herself then tilted the carton toward Jason in silent question.

Waving her off, she felt his questioning gaze intensify as he watched her take a long drink from her glass and replace the carton.
Holding the glass in front of her like some kind of armor, she started to pick at invisible pieces of lint on her dress with her free hand in avoidance.

“And?” Jason gave her what she called his ‘I-know-you-want-to-avoid-this-question-but-I’m-not-going-to-let-you’ smile.
She really needed to find a way to shorten the name of that look…She already knew that he thought that he had her. And he did, so, she dropped her voice and mumbled her answer quickly.

“Now come on,
” he threw his hands in frustration at her incoherent words. “You know I didn’t hear that! I’m not opposed to tickling it out of you!”

“I’m an adult now!
Those threats don’t work on my anymore!” she protested. Subconsciously, however, she began backing away. Finally, she found herself wedged, helplessly, in the ‘L’ of her counter between her sink and her stove.

“Oh really?” Jason started to lunge for her, causing a squeal to escape Samantha’s mouth as she lifted a knee and her hands in an involuntary, defensive gesture.
As he reached her, something changed and she could feel her breath becoming shallow at his proximity. He must’ve seen something in her eyes, because his darkened in response.

“Fuck,” he whispered, as he reached to pull her closer.
As a small cry came through the speaker next to Samantha, he cleared his throat and stepped back. The spell they’d been under was, effectively, broken. Their eyes shot to the baby monitor for a sign her squeal might’ve awoken Corigan. Jason settled back against the island when it was clear that the cry was an anomaly. He looked slightly uncomfortable, but he was smirking, seemingly trying to get the playful mood they’d been enjoying back, “That’s what I thought! You’d better just tell me.” He postured, as he folded his arms over his chest again. She let her eyes take in the biceps flexing under his sleeves this time before looking into his interested eyes.

“Fine!
It may have been something about sweaty balls,” Samantha muttered in defeat, looking away from his intense stare. She could tell he was trying to analyze what had just passed between them, and she didn’t want to think about it right now.

“That has
nothing
to do with your musical influence! An eighteen month old girl has every reason to talk about sweat and balls!” Sarcasm seemed to drip in the air at Jason’s words, as he cracked up at her admission.

“Didn’t you need to get your inhaler?” Samantha
reminded him, secretly glad that her declaration had erased the awkward moment. Jason tried to collect himself, but she watched as his body continued to shake in unrestrained laughter.

“Yes,” he gasped for breath, as he tried again to control his
amusement over the situation, but failed.

“Don’t you think you should use it before you keel over in my kitchen?” Samantha said, wryly, as she handed him a blue inhaler.

“Probably,” he wheezed just before he started to cough uncontrollably. Samantha watched him take two hits from the inhaler as his breathing finally calmed.

“Next time, you shouldn’t demand answers your body can’t handle!”
It was Samantha’s turn to fold her arms over her chest in satisfaction.

“I’m sorry!
I didn’t know it was going to be so hilarious!” He took a deep breath trying to stop the fit of laughter from taking over again.

“I’m glad I was here to be your entertainment this evening.
The movie not enough?”

“McKenna and I had dinner first, we didn’t make it to the movie before I
noticed I’d forgotten this,” he held up the inhaler and shrugged. “If it was going to be as funny as the trailer looked, I was going to need it. Besides, it may only be January, but my asthma is already really acting up.”

“Oh, yeah, that was always a problem this time of year.
Must be the cold air, making it hard to breathe?” she guessed.

“Probably
. I asked McKenna to reschedule, but she wasn’t keen on it. It took enough to convince her to go the first time,” he started walking back toward the living room. “Do you want to go with me Friday, since your mom is going to have Corigan anyway?”

Samantha pretended to mull it over for a minute, looking him up and down before conceding,
“Sure, I’ll go with you to your vag-fest and lend you some street cred,” she laughed.

“Cool,” the smile on Jason’s face at her agreem
ent worried her slightly that after the moment they’d shared, he might view this as his chance. When he, immediately, subdued his reaction, she almost breathed a sigh of relief. “Think of it as your way of paying me back for all the help?” he offered, making her feel more comfortable at what could be perceived as a date by the casual observer.

“Sounds perfect,” she let a small amount of relief leak into her features as he turned toward the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then,” he waved over his shoulder.

“Sounds good,” she called out as he shut the door again and she sagged against the back of the couch bordering the entryway at the thought of going to the movies with Jason again.
‘Why did I just agree to that?
’ she wondered.
‘We just had a really close call! I can’t keep letting myself get so domestic with Jason,
’ she reminded herself as she heard his truck start up and drive away.

It had been their thing in the past; going to a rom com/chick flick he was dying to see and pretending she was the one dragging him.
She didn’t even consider saying no to his request, even though she’d paused before giving in to the plans. She couldn’t deny that her body was reacting now at any physical contact they shared, which always seemed innocent. It was becoming as natural as breathing and she needed figure out a way to put an end to it.

Sammy straddled Jason on the lounge chair. “So now that you have me here, what do you want to do with me?”She asked through hooded eyes. The boldness of her words taking him off guard.

“Oh, Sammy, what
don’t
I want to do with you?” Jason chuckled, fisting her t-shirt at her hips. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, indicating her position on him and moving his hands down to her bare thighs. His skin tingled as his fingers teased the bottom of her shorts. “We’ve been friends for so long.” Jason had to be sure she felt the same about him this time, otherwise, nearly ten years of friendship would be gone.

“I thought you
wanted me,” she started to pout, drawing circles on his chest with her hand. He was sure she had to feel his heart racing beneath her touch. “I thought this is why you didn’t want me with Garrett.”

“I didn’t want you with Garrett, because he’s a total douche bag, Sammy,” Jason answered, honestly, even though he knew
seeing her with Garrett would’ve felt like millions of knives being driven under his nails.

“Oh,” she said, moving as if she was going to return to the party, disappointed by his non-answer.