The Widow and the Orphan (28 page)

“You think?”

“Pepper, are we gonna buy this house?” Gavin closed one eye and looked up at her.

A slow, happy smile spread across her face and she nodded enthusiastically. “I think so, kiddo. I think so.”

“You did
what
?”

Pepper pulled the phone away from her ear, surprised that Vivienne would be so loud, what with having a baby in the house and all.

“You heard me. I bought a house.”

“Oh my God, Pepper. You
have
a house!”

Pepper sighed, truly amused and it felt good. For the first time in weeks, she actually felt happy and like herself. “Yes, I know I have a house, you nitwit. But I realized it wasn’t really the house I wanted to live in for the rest of my life.”

Vivienne laughed and that was a much more comforting sound to Pepper. “And just when did you have this epiphany? I talked to you this morning and you were going school supply shopping. Are they selling houses at Staples now?”

Pepper giggle-snorted, which made her best friend do the exact same thing. “I got pissed off at the traffic and took a shortcut. Next thing I knew, I saw an open house sign. Then, somehow I found myself with a pen in hand and an open checkbook.”

“You are too hilarious,” Vivienne sighed. “I gotta tell you, it’s the last thing I expected to hear today.”

“That’s me. Spontaneous.”

“What does Gavin think?”

“He
loves
it. He’s already planning on what colors he wants to paint his room.”

“Well, give me all the details. What does it look like? Where is it?”

Pepper grinned and settled herself on the couch for a nice long conversation about her latest adventure. Before she had a chance to begin answering all of Viv’s questions, she felt a strange gurgling in her stomach and then a wave of a nausea washed over her. “Uh, Viv, I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”

“What’s wr–?”

Pepper tossed the phone aside and dashed to the powder room where she barely made it to the toilet before the undigested tamales she’d eaten for dinner came rushing up her throat. She continued to empty her stomach for a good ten minutes before she finally reached the dry heave stage. Exhausted and shaky, she was finally able to stand up and clutch the vanity on either side. She turned on the cold water and splashed some on her face and rinsed out her mouth. Irritated, she wondered if she got food poisoning from the questionable Mexican restaurant she and Gavin had chosen for dinner.
God, I hope
he
doesn’t get sick, too
. What a way to end the day. Barfing. The same way she’d started.

Grabbing a bottle water from the fridge, Pepper nabbed her phone and called Vivienne back.

“What the hell, girlfriend?”

“I’m sorry, I got sick.”

“Sick?” Vivienne’s voice took on an edge of concern.

“Yeah, I think it was the Mexican we had for dinner.”

“Is Gavin sick too?”

“Nah, he’s up in his room already packing.”

Vivienne laughed. “I think that’s a bit premature, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it would take a few weeks before we could move in.”

Vivienne clucked her tongue. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?

Pepper sighed and waited for a niggling of doubt to pop up, but it didn’t. “Yeah. I’m sure. I know you think I’m just being crazy, but I want to make a fresh start with Gavin.
For
Gavin. And I gotta be honest, I never really fell in love with this house.”

“Umm… just the guy you lived with.”

Pepper smiled sadly. “Yeah. Just him. I was walking around here the other night and I decided I didn’t really like the furniture or the paint colors. I figured maybe Gavin and I could change it up, paint some walls. You know, get some different couches or chairs or whatever. And then, bam, today, that house really found me. I swear I wasn’t looking for it.”

“Sometimes things happen that way,” Vivienne admitted. “It wasn’t as if I was looking for Will, but then he showed up, right?”

“Exactly!”

Pepper was about to say something more, but a loud belch burst out of her mouth. “Good grief, excuse me!” She felt herself blush with embarrassment, even though Vivienne couldn’t see her.

“Yikes!” Vivienne gasped. “What is
wrong
with you? I’ve known you going on thirty-five years and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you do that!”

“I don’t know! My stomach has not been the same since Gabe died.” And there was the seed of doubt, blooming. “Maybe you’re right, Viv,” Pepper whispered. “Maybe all this upset stomach is trying to tell me something. Maybe I
did
make a mistake today.”

“No.” Vivienne’s tone was emphatic. “No. This is the most positive and normal you’ve sounded since all of this started. Maybe you need to go to the doctor? You might have caught a bug or something.”

“Eh, maybe. Look, I’m going to let you go. I’m starting to feel yucky again. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You better. Get some rest.”

“Will do.”

* * * * *

There was no food to throw up, but all the water Pepper had swallowed found its way into the toilet. It was weird because when she finished, even though she was wobbly and sweaty, she felt
fine
. She didn’t feel
sick
.

It was closing in on nine o’clock, so Pepper checked on Gavin. He was lying in bed watching cartoons and looking like he was ready to doze off. “Let’s call it a night, kid.”

Grimacing, Gavin fumbled for the remote control and turned off the television, even if he didn’t want to. “Okay.”

“See you in the morning.”

“G’night.”

Pepper went straight to her room and flopped onto the bed, not bothering to change out of her yoga pants and tee-shirt. As she settled against the mattress and pulled the covers around her, she discovered that she was pretty damn tired. Exhausted, in fact.
Guess that’s what buying a house does to ya
, she thought as she fell asleep.

* * * * *

Pepper couldn’t figure out why the patio doors were still open. When she went to bed, she thought for sure the house had been buttoned up tight. Reaching to close them, she could feel the cool night breeze flowing in, ruffling her long blonde hair. When she looked up, she sucked in a breath and had to steel herself from screaming.

Gabe stood by the edge of the pool, hands in the pockets of the charcoal gray slacks and white button down shirt he always liked to wear, staring down at the water. As her mouth worked itself, trying to speak, he turned to her. There was that handsome smile she remembered so well and immediately tears welled up into her eyes, spilling down her cheeks, shining in the moonlight.

“Gabe?” she whispered.

He turned around and began walking toward her. Pepper tried to lift her arms to accept him into her embrace, but they felt as heavy as tree trunks and stayed rooted to her side. Gabe stopped beside her, looked into her face and smiled one more time. Then he walked through the kitchen, past the living room and right through the front door.

Pepper wanted to scream, beg him to come back,
something
. Instead, she crumpled to the floor in a faint.

* * * * *

“Pepper? Pepper! What’s wrong?”

Gavin’s small hands were gently patting her cheeks and it took a full five seconds for Pepper to realize it was him and not Gabe or some other monster from the underworld.

“I’m awake! I’m awake!” she cried out, her voice breathless with the dream she’d just been in.

“You were crying and yelling for my dad.”

Gavin’s green eyes were shiny with his own tears and he looked like he’d just seen a ghost, too.

Shit
. Pepper gathered him into her arms and hugged him close. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m fine. I was having a dream, that’s all. Everything’s okay.”

They rocked back and forth together for several long minutes before his body began to relax. He stopped squeezing her so tightly and Pepper felt more able to breathe.

“You scared me,” he whispered.

“I’m so sorry, Gavin. Really. Sometimes people have bad dreams and they can’t help themselves. Remember when you had that bad dream and I had to wake you up?” Pepper stroked his hair and planted kisses on the top of his head.

“No. I only remember you
told
me I had a bad dream.”

Pepper chuckled and pulled back away so she could look into his face. “Well, you did. And I came running because you scared me. But you were okay and I’m okay now.”

Gavin nodded, but before he crawled off the bed he said, “Do you want me to stay with you till you fall back asleep?”

Pepper shook her head and smiled. “No, kiddo. You go on back to bed.”

Gavin turned to walk away.

“Unless you want to stay with me?”

Pepper didn’t have to ask twice. Gavin zoomed back toward the bed and jumped in. She wrapped the comforter around them both and soon they were fast asleep in each other’s arms.

“Who wants more?”

Will stood at the stove in his kitchen, scrambling eggs, while Pepper, Gavin, Vivienne, and Jane sat at the table in the breakfast nook.

“I do!” Gavin hollered, even though he still had food on his plate.

“Finish what you have, goofus,” Pepper said, tilting her head in his direction.

“I will. But I’ll still be hungry.”

She shook her head at Gavin and nodded when Will turned a questioning face to her.

“Are you excited about moving to a new house?” Vivienne asked Gavin as she spoon fed Jane some mashed bananas.

“Yup.” Gavin shoved his spoon of eggs into his mouth. He started to speak, but Pepper gave him the stink eye and he chewed and swallowed first. “I’m already packed.”

Vivienne laughed. “Well, you’ll be ready for the big day then.”

Will came over with the frying pan and scooped more eggs onto Gavin’s plate, then put the rest on his own. After putting the pan in the sink, he sat at the table to dig in. “How fast do you think this will happen, Pep?”

“Well, I don’t really know.” Pepper shrugged. “I’ve never done this before, but since I signed an offer quite a bit above asking price, I think I might be able to move things along pretty fast.”

“Dadadadada!” Jane crowed, pointing her finger at Will.

“That’s my girl!” He reached across Vivienne to tickle his daughter under the chin.

“She’s not going to eat any more,” Vivienne decided, putting the bananas on the table. Looking over at Pepper, she plucked Jane out of the high chair. “Come with me while I get her changed.”

“Okay.”

Once they were alone, Vivienne pounced, but Pepper was ready.

“Tell me about the dream again.”

Pepper related every detail she could remember, which was everything, considering how short the dream had been. “It was the damnedest thing, Viv. I could have sworn I was awake. If Gavin hadn’t come in, I might have thought it actually happened.”

Vivienne shuddered. “Creepy!”

“No it wasn’t!” Pepper punched her in the arm, but not too hard because she was changing Jane’s diaper. “It was cool. And sad. And kind of comforting, actually.” She hugged herself, remembering the look on Gabe’s face. It was like he had come back to visit her, to say goodbye.

“What do you think it means?” Vivienne moved on from the diaper to putting an outfit on the baby.

Pepper said nothing for a long time. “I don’t know, really. When he walked out of the house, it was kind of like he was telling me it was okay to sell the place and find something new.” Pepper said the words out loud and thought they sounded ridiculous. “Well, okay, maybe not. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just saying that to make myself feel better.”

Vivienne sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, either. But if your heart is okay with the dream and it’s all right with selling the house, then I wouldn’t worry about it anymore.” She lifted Jane off the changing table and handed her over to Pepper who gladly cuddled the squirmy, giggly little bundle. “What’s your heart telling you?”

Pepper couldn’t speak. As she gazed down into Jane’s chubby, adorable face, she felt like her heart was saying a million things. Mostly it was filled with a tremendous amount of love. Love for Gabe and Vivienne and Will. For the gorgeous baby in her arms. For Gavin. As much as she missed her husband and the life they would never have, Pepper felt peaceful for the first time about the future to come. There would always be a fullness there with all of them to fill the void of her widowhood.

She looked up at Vivienne and smiled, even though tears were now coursing down her cheeks. “It’s all going to be okay. That’s what my heart’s saying. Everything is going to be just fine.”