The World's Awesomest Air-Barf (3 page)

‘How did you do that?’ he asked.

‘My frisbee got stuck in a tree, so I climbed up to get it. I scraped my knee as I came down. I’m going to have a
massive
scab in a couple of days.’

‘Ace,’ said Danny.

‘Cool . . .’ agreed Matthew reluctantly.

Sally leaned over and examined Danny’s face.

‘Wow! Where did all those freckles come from?’ she exclaimed. ‘You didn’t have those yesterday.’

‘I always get zillions of freckles when I’ve been in the sun.’

‘Have you ever counted them? It could be a record,’ said Sally.

Danny’s mouth fell open in amazement. ‘Why didn’t
I
think of that?’

‘Because you’re a boy, and boys don’t think of much, my mum says.’ Sally continued to stare at Danny’s face. ‘Would you like me to count them?’

‘Counting’s
my
job,’ insisted Matthew.

Sally began to count anyway. After a while she said, ‘You know, Danny, we could try to break the world record for the Longest Kiss.’

Danny glanced anxiously at Matthew. ‘Matt, I think you
had
better do the freckle counting.’

Matthew grabbed Danny and pulled him away. ‘We’ve got to go,’ he told Sally.

‘See you later, Dan,’ she called as the boys raced away.

‘Kissing!’ said Matthew. ‘Gross!’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Danny. ‘Girl-germs! Mega-gross!’

‘Lucky I was there to rescue you.
I’ll
count your freckles later.’

‘Thanks, Matt. I’ll have more by tonight anyway.’

Just after lunch, Danny and Matthew arrived at El Estadio del Mar, Real Marisco’s home ground, with Danny’s mum, dad and sister, Natalie. A large crowd of fans, all wearing the pale
pink shirts of Real Marisco, were waiting to greet their possible new manager and his family. They began to cheer loudly, and a flamenco band struck up a jaunty tune, playing with gusto so they
could be heard above the din.

The family smiled and waved to the crowd. An odd movement caught Danny’s eye. He glanced to his left and was horrified to see a six-foot-tall pink sea creature running towards him. The
monster’s two long antennae and four of its six outstretched pink legs waggled threateningly.

Before Danny could move or cry out, the creature grabbed him in a fierce, rubbery clinch, and lifted him off the ground. Danny stared into one of its shiny black eyes.

‘Matt –’ gasped Danny. ‘Help!’

Matthew grasped the beast by its feathery, fan-shaped tail.

‘Let go of my mate!’ he yelled, swinging the creature round.

Cameras flashed. The band played on. The crowd cheered even louder. There was a tearing sound, and without warning, the monster’s tail came off in Matthew’s hands.

‘Arrrrgh!’ screamed the sea creature. ‘Mi cola!’

It let go of Danny and turned to face Matthew. In the hole where the tail had been, Danny saw a bottom wearing a pair of tight purple underpants.

The tailless monster held two pink claws over its rear end and scuttled away through the crowd.

Mum laughed. ‘I wish the video camera wasn’t broken,’ she said. ‘I’d have loved to get that on film!’

‘Thanks, Matt,’ said Danny. ‘What was
that
?’

Danny’s dad was red-faced with laughter.

‘Didn’t I tell you?’ he replied. ‘Real Marisco are known as “Las Gambas”, which means “The Prawns” in Spanish. That was their mascot, Gogo La
Gamba.’

Matthew gazed at the giant pink tail he still held in his hands.

‘Their mascot’s a prawn?’ he asked disbelievingly.

‘That’s even worse than Wally the Wall!’ exclaimed Danny.

(Wally the Wall was Walchester United’s mascot. He was a brick wall, with legs.)

A man walked towards them, laughing heartily. He shook Dad’s hand and then kissed Danny’s mum on both cheeks.

Dad turned to the children and introduced the man.

‘Kids, this is Señor Pez, the Director of Real Marisco.’ He leaned over to the boys and whispered, ‘He’s the Boss.’

‘Delighted to meet you!’ said Señor Pez, shaking Danny’s hand.

He turned to greet Matthew, who was still clutching the prawn’s giant tail.

‘I’m sorry, ’ mumbled Matthew. ‘It just came off in my hand.’ Señor Pez laughed again. ‘Do not be upset, young señor. I hate that stupid
prawn.’

He took the tail from Matthew and put it under his arm. Then he kissed Danny’s sister Natalie on the cheek. She blushed a deeper pink than the giant prawn.

‘Señor Baker, Señora Baker, in two weeks’ time, it is Marisco’s annual Festival of Deliverance. In honour of your visit, the town council of Marisco would like
your son Danny to be “El Periquito”.’

‘Who’s El Periquito?’ asked Danny.

‘A . . . how do you say it in English? A butterygar?’

Danny frowned. ‘A butterygar?’

Matthew flicked quickly through his English-Spanish dictionary. ‘“Periquito” means budgerigar,’ he whispered to Danny.

Señor Pez smiled, and held his hands as though praying. ‘The butterygar was sent from heaven to save our town from disaster, many, many years ago,’ he explained.

‘What do I have to do?’

‘Dress up as a bird, climb a tall tree, whistle a special tune and collect caterpillars in a bucket.’

‘Ace!’ yelled Danny.

‘Cool!’ agreed Matthew.

Hotel La Langosta

Marisco

Spain

Dear Mr Bibby,

It’s me again, Danny. The Hotel La Langosta is Ace. I’ve met a girl called Sally Butterworth, who is brilliant at football and likes
breaking records! She’s got double-jointed elbows and she can climb trees and wiggle her ears and squint. What’s the world record for squinting?

It’s really sunny here, and I’ve got 1,246 freckles on my face. It would have been more, but my mum spotted them, and got me with
factor 5 million suncream.

Matt counted my freckles using a magic marker pen to mark each one, so he didn’t count any twice. The trouble is, the ink won’t wash
off, so now I’ve got 1,246 blue dots on my face as well as the freckles.

I think it looks Ace.

Matthew thinks it looks cool.

My sister Natalie thinks it looks stupid.

Sally Butterworth thinks it looks like warpaint.