The World's Awesomest Air-Barf (6 page)

BOOK: The World's Awesomest Air-Barf
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Danny marched forward to the ladders propped up against the trunk of the massive old tree. A net stretched around the base of the tree to catch him if he fell.

‘When do I start to whistle?’ he asked.

‘From the moment you pick up the first caterpillar to the moment you collect the final one,’ answered Father Ignatius. ‘El Periquito sang as he munched, from start to
finish.’

Danny had been learning the Budgie Song for days. He pursed his lips, and blew. The notes trilled and echoed around the silent square. When he got to the top of the ladder and climbed into the
tree, the crowd cheered.

Danny waved. He scanned the crowd quickly, to see if Matthew had turned up to watch him after all, but he couldn’t see his friend anywhere. Sally waved back at him.

Danny turned and looked at the branches around him. He gasped.

‘What is wrong, Señor Danny? Are there no caterpillars?’ called the Mayoress.

‘There are
thousands
of them!’

The Mayoress went pale and held on to the priest’s arm.

‘Thousands?’

‘Millions!’ confirmed Danny. ‘They’re everywhere!’

He stared goggle-eyed at the green and yellow caterpillars that were crawling over every inch of bark and leaf.

The band fell silent. Hushed, horrified whispers rippled through the townsfolk.

‘It has happened again!’ said Father Ignatius. ‘The plague has returned!’

‘Shall we send more people up into the tree?’ suggested the Mayoress.

‘No!’ cried Father Ignatius. ‘It must be El Periquito who collects the caterpillars!’

The old priest gazed up at Danny with red, watery eyes.

‘Only Danny Baker can save us now!’

 
The Kissing Tree

Danny toiled all day in the scorching sun, working his way higher and higher into the tree, picking the small wriggling creatures from underneath leaves, knocking them off
twigs and dropping them into buckets. All the time he worked, Danny whistled the Budgie Song.

His limbs ached, his lips ached, but he carried on collecting and he carried on whistling, only stopping to drink water.

The sun dropped lower in the sky. The light began to fade. The mood of the people gathered around the tree was sombre and tense. They all stood gazing up anxiously at Danny as he crawled to the
tip of the final branch.

He dropped the last caterpillar into his bucket.

‘Finished!’ he called hoarsely, and carried on whistling.

The roar from the throng of people watching Danny echoed around the square. It was as though Real Marisco had won the Cup!

Father Ignatius put his hands together and offered a silent prayer of thanks.

Danny began to pick his way slowly and painfully back down through the branches, but then stopped. His limbs and lips, tight and tense all day from climbing, gripping and whistling, had finally
given up. Danny’s body and mouth locked tight with cramp.

He couldn’t move a muscle.

He couldn’t say a word.

He was stuck.

He heard someone below shout, ‘Help him!’

Then he heard Sally Butterworth yell, ‘I’ll save you, Danny!’

Sally raced from the crowd and scurried up the ladder. In seconds she had clambered into the tree and reached the branch where Danny was perched. She smiled at him.

‘Your lips are stuck in
kissing
position,’ she said.

No! thought Danny. Help!

But there was no one to help. Sally leaned forward and planted her lips firmly on Danny’s.

‘Awwwwww,’ cooed the crowd.

Urrrrrrgh! thought Danny.

He looked past Sally into the crowded square and spotted his sister Natalie laughing at him. Even worse, his mum had finally fixed the video camera and was
filming
the kiss.

He could hear Natalie singing, ‘Danny and Sally, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.’

The kiss went on . . .

Urrrrrrrrrrgh!

and on . . .

Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

and on . . .

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

and on . . .

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

 

Danny sent up his own silent prayer.
Help!

And his prayer was answered.

He heard leaves rustling and a branch creaking, and there was Matthew, beside them in the tree.

‘Now that’s enough of
that!’
ordered Matthew. He tried to drag Sally away, but she clung on tight.

‘Sally,’ he shouted. ‘There’s a
massive
spider on your back!’

Danny saw Sally’s eyes widen in horror. She pulled away quickly.

‘Arrrrrrrrrrgh!’ she screamed. ‘Get it off! Get it off!’

Matthew pretended to brush something off her. He blew out his cheeks and shook his head. ‘Wow, that was
huge
,’ he gasped. He wiggled his fingers. ‘It had
really
hairy legs! There must be loads more of them around here.’

Sally screamed. In seconds she was out of the tree and standing in the square next to her mother.

Matthew grinned. ‘I think Silly Butterworm has just broken the world record for the Fastest Climbing Out of a Tree to Escape an Invisible Spider, don’t you?’

Danny looked at Matthew and raised his eyebrows, which was the only part of him he could move. Thanks, Matt, he thought. You saved me.

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