This Can't be Life (39 page)

A light bulb turned on in my head. Seriously. There was no other way to explain the way the image of the video room popped into my head. Bingo! I forgot that there were cameras in every room in this house. They were all controlled by one host computer and mainframe in the video room. There are at least 20 small TVs that cover just about every inch of this estate.

I slithered out of the room on my stomach like a snake and climbed up the stairway to the second floor and the video room. I took my time walkin’. I didn’t run up the stairs and I didn’t look back, nor did I fear being caught. I knew that when I got to the video room and switched on the camera for the theater room, Tyron would still be on his knees. I opened the door to the video room, walked in, and turned on the lights. I could see that the cameras weren’t recordin', which I knew would be the case. Tyron always claimed nobody knew where he lived. He had no idea that it wasn’t those people he needed to be worried about.

I pushed the button to turn on the camera in the theater room and the one in the hallway leadin to the stairway. I was right. Tyron was still slobbin' Banks’ knob, but now he had his dick out. It was in his hands and he was jackin' himself off. I didn’t know why that scene made me feel sick. It wasn’t like this was somethin’ I hadn’t done myself in that same damned room, on that same damned spot, on my two damned knees, worshippin' Tyron’s dick. I knew I was goin’ to be in for a very long night. I sat back and watched the show with a heavy heart and limp dick.

Simone

My therapy sessions were going well and I finally felt like I was strong enough to deal with the abuse I suffered at the hands of the man I thought was my uncle. I was also feeling better everyday with the thought that I had a mother who really loved me. I knew that I would be all right in time and I continued to remind myself that none of what happened was my fault. The woman who my father chose to marry was never capable of loving me the way a mother should love a child. I vowed to be the best mother I could possibly be if I ever decided to have kids, which may be never. I couldn’t imagine bringing kids into this fucked up world.

It was hard for me to grasp why it was possible for kids to be molested, abused, killed, and thrown away like trash. There was no one to protect me! I was all alone, surely wondering why this man was doing the things he was doing to me. I had to deal with the mental ramifications of being abused at such a young age all by myself. No child should ever have had to go through that.

Over the previous month or so, I had been doing a lot of reflecting, mainly on the relationships that I’ve had with men over the years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that they’ve all been dysfunctional. As a teenager, I heard stories about how great sex was and how good it made you feel, but once Talise lost her virginity and gave me the horrid details, the thought of having sex with someone scared the hell out of me. When I finally gave my virginity to Byron, it hurt so badly that I didn’t want to do it ever again. Then I noticed that it brought us closer together and it seemed to make him love me more. I then realized that pussy is a very powerful weapon, and that if I didn’t please my man, there were women lining up to do it. So I was focused on making him happy sexually. I rented a couple of porn movies, because I was hell bent on learning how to satisfy Byron. The more I learned in the movies and the better I became at pleasing him, the more and more possessive he became. As my sexual experiences blossomed, I grew to love my body and mastered the art of seduction. Simple subtleties and teasing never failed me. I knew how to work what I had and became an expert on how to please a man. Unfortunately, I was never fully pleased in return and had yet to experience a vaginal orgasm.

The ringing phone brought me away from my thoughts as I lay in my bed watching the sunrise. I looked at the caller ID and smiled.

“Hey, baby. Good morning.”

“What’s up, Miss America?” Carlton asked with a smile in his voice.

“Still in the bed. Miss Kitty says she misses you. She’s feeling neglected. Where are you?” I needed to feel his tongue between my legs. At least that would make me cum. Plus, he was very skilled at it. He would eat my pussy every chance he got. He was a freak when it came to that.

“Miss Kitty knows I take care of her. I need that. I’ll be there in less than 5 minutes. Get her wet for me, ma,” he said in a husky voice.

“You know I will. I’m already playing with her wishing my finger was your tongue.” I knew that would get him riled up and rock hard.

“Put your finger in it baby and taste it. Let daddy know what it taste like.” His voice was turning me on. I had been having the best sex of my life with
Carlton
. Each time we had sex, it got better and better. I’d never felt so much pleasure during penetration in my life.
Carlton
had me horny at all hours of the day.

My line clicked and I looked at the caller ID.
Sorry, Stace. I’ll have to call you back later, my friend
. If he only knew what I was doing, he’d be more than happy to be ignored.

“It tastes good, daddy. I’m throbbing and so wet. Use the code. Come in…hurry!” I was driving myself crazy, knowing that at any minute he would walk through my door.

“I’m in the elevator now. Don’t you cum. I’ll take care of that,” he demanded.

“I’m not cuming without you, baby. Hurry!” I pleaded as he walked through my bedroom door. He dropped his cell and keys on the dresser and pulled his shirt over his head in one full motion. The look on his face warmed the crevices of my soul. At that moment, I knew that I was going to stop being scared to love and be loved. If it worked out, great! If not, I would cross that bridge when I got to it.

I opened my arms for him and he came straight to me. I covered his lips with mine and a chill shot down my spine when our tongues touched.
Carlton
made love to my mouth so well that I could probably cum from his kisses. My cell phone began to ring on my nightstand and we ignored it. There was not one spot on my body that
Carlton
didn’t kiss and make feel special. He finally came up and put on a condom, but before he even entered me, I had already gone to another planet. I had never in my life felt anything like it before. The pleasure was indescribable.

“Open your eyes, Simone.”
Carlton
whispered in my ear as he entered me. He looked into my eyes while he moved deeper and deeper inside of me, keeping me present and in the moment. I got butterflies in my stomach, staring into his eyes. I began to experience a very warm sensation in the pit of my belly as I gyrated my hips, welcoming the flood of these newfound sensations.

“Tell me how it feels, Monie. Tell me how you like it.” He knew talking to me drove me crazy.

“I love it,
Carlton
, don’t stop, please,” I begged. I had never felt anything this good in my entire life. I could swear to it! When
Carlton
took my earlobe inside his mouth and began to lick it softly as he moved slowly back and forth in and out of my wet opening, I finally knew how it felt to truly enjoy sex.

Carlton
was taking his time with me. He was in no rush. Moving methodically in and out, rotating his hips, doing everything that drove me crazy. There wasn’t one stroke identical to the next. He kissed my neck, ears, and breast as he sensually caressed my thighs, legs, feet, and arms. He held my hands, kissing all over my face. Even my eyelids didn’t go untouched. He made love to my mind, body, and soul. Our lips met and
Carlton
put his tongue in my mouth. I sucked on it softly as his speed gradually increased, and the heightening sensation that started in the pit of my belly began to escalate. I knew that I was about to have my first orgasm. The best feeling that I have ever felt before overtook my body. I shook uncontrollably as I yelled out
Carlton
’s name over and over, completely delirious with pleasure. It was everything that I hoped it would be and more. A couple of tears escaped my eyes and hopefully blended in with the sweat on my face. As
Carlton
slowed his pace, I was able to gather my composure. I was amazed that he was still rock hard and going strong. I couldn’t believe that at 27, I’d finally had my first orgasm!

I got on top of
Carlton
so I could feel him as deep inside me as possible. I rode his dick like I was a runaway slave on
Massa
’s stolen horse. I went from fast to slow from rotating my hips to sitting on it and taking in all eleven inches of him. By the time
10:00 a.m.
rolled around, I had made up for 27 years with four orgasms! He kissed my neck and whispered I love you in my ear before we both passed out.

We slept the rest of the morning and went out on his boat that evening. We made love as we coasted over the water and drank Don Julio out of snifters in the between time. I’d never felt more content with a man in my whole life. I wanted it to feel like this forever. But no matter how caught up I got in my feelings, the fact of the matter still remained the same. He was married with kids and I could never have him completely. I could never forget that pertinent fact. I knew I had to take this relationship for what it was and be ready to walk away at a moment’s notice. He was someone else’s husband and I couldn’t forget that, no matter how hard I tried or how many times he made me cum!

Deon

I took Shelly with me on our summer vacation to meet my family and Tyson, who was the new addition. If they liked her as much as I did, I knew it would be smooth sailing. I couldn’t wait to see Tyson. I missed him like crazy and was happy that he was adjusting well to his new home and family. I spoke with him everyday and let him know how much I loved him.

I always look forward to summer. It is the time of year when the whole family, Moms, Pops, little bro’, and I, go on vacation. This year will be even more special since we have Tyson and Shelly joining us. The Atlantis Resort and Spa in the
Bahamas
was a great choice of my mother’s. The previous year was the
Fiji
Islands
, a choice of my little brother’s, which will be hard to top.

As we sat in the limo outside the airport, waiting for my parents to grab their luggage and head out to the car, I nibbled on Shelly’s ear.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” she said, trying to move away from me.

“I can finish it. Just not right now,” I laughed, pulling her in closer.

“That’s not fair, Deon. Let me go. You’re going to have me all hot and bothered and I have to meet your family. I’m already nervous enough,” she said pulling a small mirror out of her purse and checking her face.

“You look fine, Shell. There is no reason at all to be nervous about meeting my parents,” I assured her as I noticed the chauffer and my family heading toward the car.I jumped out, ran over, picked Tyson up, and swung him around. He had gotten taller and was looking more like his mother than he did before.

“Man, I missed you. Look how big you are.” I put him down and hugged the rest of my family with as much enthusiasm.

“Mom, Dad, everybody, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Shelly Preston.” My parents greeted her with hugs. Of course, my little brother, who considers himself a mack in the making, not only hugged, but kissed her on both cheeks.

“Where did you learn that from?” I laughed aloud. The older my little brother got, the more game he seemed to pick up. He was definitely the opposite of me at that age. I wasn’t anywhere near as smooth.