This is What I Did (5 page)

And I didn’t know how they knew.

We never went to Zyler’s house for sleepovers because his dad was MEAN.

But this time we did because his dad had a job in Utah and wasn’t going to be home for two days.

So it was just us and Zyler’s twenty-year-old sister, Sharon-with-a-boyfriend, who was usually never there because she sort of lives with her boyfriend.

Me: I don’t know how they knew.

Zyler: Maybe they were spying on us.

Me: Or maybe they were just calling you. Maybe they didn’t know I was here.

Zyler: No. They knew. You could tell they knew. I bet they were spying on us — probably.

We ate some Cheetos that we’d got at the Minute Man down the street because Sharon gave us a ten and told us to shut up.

She was cool sometimes but sometimes not.

So we ate the Cheetos and sort of talked about Cami and the phone call, but we didn’t talk about it that much because we wanted to watch
Mystery Science Theater 3000.

When Zyler fell asleep I started thinking about it again.

Who did Cami like? Maybe she liked me but more maybe she liked Zyler.

It probably wasn’t me because I didn’t really talk so much when girls or other people were around.

Mostly just when I was with Zyler.

But Zyler could talk when he wanted to. I mean if he felt like it, and he was pretty funny too.

And when you thought about it, Zyler had a sort of good-looking face.

It wasn’t all the way good-looking but it was older-looking. And he had big green eyes that my mom called piercing — especially for his dark coloring, she would say.

And since I was regular with nothing really special on my face except freckles and usually sunburns.

Plus, I’d started to have a gut and that’s why I hated going swimming because it would hang over sort of like Dad’s, but not ten times as bad as Dad’s.

So that’s another reason I thought she probably liked Zyler.

But mostly Zyler didn’t say that maybe she liked him or me more.

He just said it didn’t matter.

And I thought he really meant it.

He said she was cute just like I did because of her red red ponytail and her different socks but he wasn’t about to like like her.

Neither was I.

I wonder where Cami is now.

I wonder if she hates me as much as I think she does.

I heard her parents sent her to live with an aunt for a while in Detroit or Delaware or something.

If I were her I would move to Hong Kong.

Because sometimes you just want to be nowhere.

Or Hong Kong.

At the beginning of Christmas break Mom took me to the Reagan Towers downtown.

I thought we were going Christmas shopping for the others because they all had to stay home, but instead she took me to the Towers.

I’d never been there before and I had no idea what was going on.

But then we went in this office with
Dr. Jim Benson
on it and the

Secretary said: Just one moment and he’ll see you.

We sat down on a couch that was pretty nice but not really really nice.

It was a small office and there was a fish tank.

It seems like most doctors’ offices have fish tanks and
Highlights
magazines.

Then a doctor came out of a door and said: Mrs. Paloney, why don’t you step in first.

Mom got up and smoothed her round hair and walked into the office.

She said to me: I’ll be right back.

Before, on the elevator, I had asked her: Where are we going?

She said: You’ll see. It’s no big deal but it’s something we need.

Me: What do you mean?

She: Honey, just relax. This whole thing isn’t just about you.

And then the bing of the elevator came and another guy got on and pushed eleven. We were going to ten and I couldn’t talk to Mom while the guy was in there.

He had a big box of papers and he was wearing a suit even though he looked like a teenager.

At ten we got off and I didn’t have time to say anything to Mom before the secretary and doctor, and then she was in the office.

I was almost going to ask the lady what kind of a doctor he was or where we were.

But I knew I wouldn’t.

I just looked at the
Highlights.

That was my first appointment with Dr. Jim Benson.

I just decided to write another note and I even gave it to Laurel.

I’m in a play at school.

It’s pretty soon.

I tried out because they announced it in class and I thought maybe I would try out.

The play is
Peter Pan
and I got the part of a Lost Boy.

There are a lot of Lost Boys but I still got the part.

This is how I tried out: They said you had to go for three days after school and I wasn’t going to do it because I didn’t know how to act or even if I could sing.

You had to sing for this one.

Mom said I could sing.

In church I sang.

So I went to tryouts just to see what it was like.

And to see who was there.

No Bruce. No Luke. No Toby. No girls like Carmen or Vanessa or Mallory.

I didn’t really know anyone except Laurel was there.

That’s when I decided to just try it.

Just up and try it.

So I signed up and sat down in the auditorium seats with a whole bunch of other people I sort of knew but didn’t and waited for my turn. When they got to the M’s I was almost sick and throw-uppy.

Lots of them knew how to sing really good and I did too, I said to myself.

And some weren’t so good.

I was better than some for sure.

So then Michael Olsen went and he sang “Taps” — the song we sing in Scouts when we lower the flag. It was pretty good but he sang really shaky old-like. Like he was in an opera, and it sounded weird to me.

Then it was my turn.

Here’s what happened when I tried out:

I got up there and there was a light on me.

Director People: What will you be singing?

Me: A hymn called “Where Can I Turn for Peace?”

Everyone watching: (whispering)

No one had sung a hymn or anything and I wasn’t sure if you were even allowed to — sing about God or anything. But I didn’t know all the words to any other song.

Director People: Okay, go ahead.

And then I just sang it.

I was glad that there wasn’t a piano or anything because then I could make it as high as I wanted and so I did.

And at first I sounded really bad.

I mean I thought I did, but no one was really laughing.

So I sang the whole thing.

I mean the whole first verse.

I didn’t look up or anything.

I just sang.

I probably should have looked up because then they might have given me a part as a pirate or John or something.

But I didn’t want to look up.

Director People after I sang:

Everyone watching:

Me:

I still was looking at the ground. Why wouldn’t anyone say anything?

Director People: Okay, thank you.

And that was it.

After that day and another day of reading lines and another day of doing a dance I got a part.

I became a Lost Boy in the play
Peter Pan.

When I found out I was in the play I wanted to maybe get in shape.

That’s why I drank a weight-loss shake, and it wasn’t too bad.

I was down in my room so no one would see.

Especially not Mack or Ryan.

The play was in two months, at the end of May, and maybe I could lose some weight by then.