Three Hearts One Soul (The Soul Series #1) (10 page)

“I love you Jase, do you hear me? You will never leave me. You will always be in here,” I whisper, putting his hand to my heart. “How could you ever think that you wouldn’t leave something behind? You changed my world, Jase.”

His eyes well up now and for the first time, I see the fear in them.

“Nev, I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go.”

I let out a loud, strangled sob and I wrap my arms around him. He clutches me so
tightly, his fingers bite into my skin as he shakes and trembles. I don’t know what to say. What does one say in this situation? What words could possibly make this ok? There are none. There are no words that could ever take this pain away from either of us. I can’t take it away. I want to but I can’t. So I say the only thing I have to give him. The only thing I know I do have control over. The only thing that’s ever been real.

“I love you Jase, with my heart and soul.”

He trembles and rasps, “I love you too, baby.”

And so there we sit, tangled in each other, both of us breaking, both of us grieving for something we know we just can’t change.

Chapter 7

“Hey,” I say, taking Jase’s hand and helping him down the hall of my home, which I will now be sharing with Jase’s family. “Go easy tiger.”

He chuckles softly, but even that causes him to have a coughing fit. As always, I rub his back until he manages to croak out. “You’re not going to keep me bed bound, are you
, Nev?”

“I might,” I smile, chucking him under the chin. “Depends how bad you are.”

He laughs softly and I lead him into my room. When he sees one bed, he turns to me. “You’re giving up your room for me?”

I smile and stroke his cheek. “No, I’m sharing it with you.
If you’ll have me that is?”

His face brightens.
“As if I’d say no.”

I smile and grip his hand, leading him in. I put his bags on the floor and lead him over to the bed. When we’re both sitting down, I turn to look at him. He smiles down at me and leans down, brushing his lips across mine. Before I know what’s happening, the kiss deepens. I’ve kissed Jase a lot, and even had some serious kisses with him but this kiss, it has feeling, it has pain,
it has desperation. I grip his face gently and deepen it, tangling my tongue with his. His ragged groan and his mouth moving over mine has my body aching.

When I pull back, he’s panting and gasping a little for air, but that doesn’t stop him. He grips my face again and brings me close. “Careful kissing me like that, Nev, I might be sick but I’m still a man.”

I chuckle and smack another kiss to his lips. “Ease up tiger.”

“The room is lovely!”

We both turn to see Katie walking into the room. Jase grunts, clearly angry she ruined whatever little moment we were just having. I smile at Katie and stand, but Jase tugs me back down. Katie gives him a curious smile, then she looks around my room.

“This is a lovely home for someone your age, Nevaeh.”

“Yeah, my dad helped out.”

“What about me?”

I smile as my father walks into the room. Katie sees him and her cheeks flush. My parents have met, of course, but that doesn’t stop the affect he has on women, young and old. Katie laughs nervously and then throws her arms around my father’s neck. I chuckle and Jase shoves me playfully.

“Well goodness me, it is you Lyle.”

My father chuckles and gives me and Jase a grin. I roll my eyes and Jase laughs.

“Hello Katie, long time.”

Katie pulls back and stares down at my father, her cheeks grow pink again. “You haven’t aged a day, Lyle!”

“Neither have you,” my father drawls.

Ugh, dad, seriously?

“Oh…well…thank you,” Katie flushes.

“Lyle old buddy!”

My father spins around to see John. They shake hands and then hug.

“Good to see you mate!” My father laughs, slapping him on the back.

They all walk off down the hall, chatting and laughing. Well thank god they forget about whatever reason they came into our room. I sigh and then stand, turning to Jase.

“You rest, I’m going to make some dinner.”

“I’ll help.”

I shake my head. “Rest Jase, please?”

He pouts and I smile, gripping his face.

“Don’t pout at me, you need to rest.”

“I came out of the hospital so I could get out of a bed.”

“And you can, tomorrow. For now, you rest.”

Rolling his eyes, but looking thoroughly exhausted, Jase reluctantly crawls up on the bed. I smile at him and begin walking towards the door. Just as I get to it, he calls my name. I turn and look over my shoulder.

“Did you feel anything then, Nev?”

I swallow and feel my eyes burn with more tears. I smile and whisper, “I felt every single bit of it Jase. Don’t ever think that you don’t know how to make me feel, because you would be very wrong. Kissing you is…magical.”

I walk out to his broad, beautiful smile and I know, if anything, that at least I’ve given him happiness.

~*~*~*~*

Dinner is…interesting. We all manage to squeeze around my tiny table, and eat the large pot of chicken casserole I prepared. The conversation flows surprisingly well and I find myself laughing a few times as Jase cracks a few jokes. Seeing him happy, even for a moment, hurts. I can’t imagine how he must feel inside, knowing these are his last memories with his family and loved ones. Every now and then his eyes connect with mine and I feel my cheeks heat, which is something I haven’t felt for a long while.

I help him up with his
dinner, all the talking has quite literally exhausted him, so eating only makes it worse. None of us say anything as he slowly eats between those horrible, loud coughing fits he has. We all know how he must feel. When dinner is over and we’ve all cleaned up, Katie and John head off to bed, exhausted. My dad goes outside and speaks on the phone, to what I can only assume, is a woman. Jase and I head off to my bed, and I gather a robe and leave him for a moment to shower. I take my time too, letting the warm water ease over my aching muscles. When I’m done, and smelling fresh, I wrap the robe around myself and make my way back into the room. Jase is sitting on the bed shirtless and I take a moment to take in his lovely body. Even sick, Jase is toned and lean. He has a nice, athletic body.

“Hey,” he smiles, staring up at me.

“Hey yourself.”

“Nev…can…can…”

He looks nervous as he looks anywhere but at me. I walk closer to the bed and he whispers a stop before I get there. I stop and stare down at him. When his eyes finally meet mine, I can see a question in them. A question he clearly wants to ask but he can’t, for whatever reason. I give him a soft smile and nod my head at him, encouraging him to continue but he doesn’t.

“Nev, it’s just…well…I came here because…well you know why and there’s something I wanted to ask before I…pass and, I know it’s not fair of me to ask you, heck you probably don’t even want to but…”

It hits me. I know what he’s asking. He continues to stumble over his words, but he doesn’t need to, part of me has always wanted this with Jase. Even though my heart stubbornly favours Whiskey, doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about Jase. When I shrug off my robe and it drops to the floor, leaving me naked in front of Jase, he stops speaking. He literally cuts off mid-sentence and his mouth drops open.

“I want it too, Jase.”

His eyes widen and he raises his gaze to my breasts, then up to my eyes.  The moment they meet, I know that this moment between us is going to be beautiful. I walk towards the bed, feeling my heart hammering against my rib cage. When I stop at the end and my knees touch the hard wood frame, Jase drops the book he was reading and weakly crawls forward. When he reaches me, he lets his arms stretch out until his fingers graze my sides. I shiver.

“Are you sure?” he whispers.

“I’ve always been sure, Jase.”

He swallows and gets up onto his knees, capturing my mouth with his. The kiss quickly becomes deep and passionate. My fingers slide up and hook around the back of his neck so I can pull him closer. His hands slide around to my back and over my hips. Then he gently slides them down until he grips my backside, where he proceeds to hurl me forward until we both tumble back onto the bed. I know this won’t be easy for Jase, his energy levels aren’t great.

He rolls us so he’s on his back and I’m the one leaning over him. I know this is how it’ll have to go, because I know that he won’t be able to do any of the hard yards, but I’m ok with that. I capture his mouth with mine again, letting our tongues dance together as my hands roam over his solid chest and washboard abs. When I reach his shorts, I grip the top and pull them down, freeing him. Jase is everything I imagined he would be and more, and when my fingers curl around his hard, thick cock, he hisses in a breath.

His mouth finds my nipple and he sucks it into his mouth. I moan and arch as his tongue flicks and torments me. He slides his free hand down my back and then around until he finds my aching clit. He slides his finger up and down my folds, teasing and taunting me. I whimper and bite his lower lip, causing a deep groan to escape his lips. He strokes harder, deeper until I’m crying out his name as I come for the first time in years. I stroke him harder, feeling his cock swell beneath my palm. He grips my hip and pulls me over so I am lying on top of him.

“Are you sure you can do this, Jase?” I whisper.

“I’d do it, even if it fucking killed me.”

“Do you…I mean…are you clean?”

He chuckles,
then groans when his erection presses against my entrance.

“Yeah, you?”

I snort. “Unless your brother had something, then yeah.”

He raises his brows at me and I slap his arm.
“Ruining the moment, Jase.”

“Sorry baby,” he murmurs, finding my lips again.

Our kiss deepens and I begin lowering myself over him, letting him fill me inch by aching inch. It’s been five years and so the pain is quite intense. I cry out and drop my head to his shoulder. He gently strokes my back as I move down lower and lower. With one buck of his hips, he fills me. I groan, a mix of pleasure and pain. Jase takes my hips and beings gently rotating me back and forth, working me over his length, taking us both to the edge.

“As perfect as I always imagined,” he croaks, rocking my hips harder.

“Oh god, Jase…” I whimper.

Our bodies move together perfectly, the moment is perfect. When I find my first release, it hits me hard and fast. I erupt with a cry and grip Jase’s arms as he uses his hands to keep my hips going so he can find his own release. If he left it up to me, I would be a mess, unable to keep moving. When his time comes, he cries out and rasps my name as he pumps deep and hard inside me. I can feel all of him, every jerk of his cock as he spurts inside me. When he finally stops shuddering, I let my body slump down over his.

I roll off him, not wanting to leave too much weight on him. It’s then I notice how much he’s panting. I should have noticed it before, but I was too caught up in the moment. My breathing has come down but his hasn’t. His cheeks begin to flush as air becomes difficult for him to get into his lungs. When he starts coughing loudly and frequently, I know we’ve over done it. He gets out of the bed, hitting his chest and rushing into my bathroom. I rush after him, and when he drops to his knees in a coughing fit so scary, it has me frozen in the spot, I know something is wrong.

“Jase?”
I cry.

He puts his hand over his mouth and when he pulls it away, I see blood.

“Jase? Oh god. Hold on.”

I rush out of the bathroom and quickly pull on some clothes. When I stumble into the hall, his parents are already rushing down.

“What’s happening?” Katie cries.

“He’s coughing, he can’t stop. There’s blood and…”

“Call an ambulance, John!” Katie demands, shoving past me and rushing into the room.

I turn and run in behind
her, Jase is still coughing up blood and struggling for air. Hot tears scorch my cheeks as I force myself into nurse mode. I drop to his side and gently rub his back, with firm but gentle strokes.

“Focus Jase, focus on your breathing.”

“Can’t,” he rasps.

“You can, come on. Focus. You can do it.”

“He needs an ambulance!” Katie screams.

“Let my daughter work.”

When did my dad get in here? I cover Jase’s naked body, knowing full well they have probably figured out how this happened by now. I rub Jase’s back, over and over, encouraging him to breathe. If he doesn’t, he’ll pass out. When I hear the sirens, and the sound of the front door swinging open, I am covered in Jase’s blood. He’s coughed up so much. The ambulance officers rush in and I quickly move as they begin working on him.

“We need to get him to a hospital.”

Before I know it, they’re carrying him out on a stretcher and his parents are running out behind him. I turn and stare down at the bloody smears on the floor, those are all my fault. I shouldn’t have done that. I pushed him. I pushed him too hard. I drop to my knees, gripping the white towels and scrubbing them over Jase’s bloody hand prints. I am heaving as I cry, but I continue to scrub and scrub until the towel is covered in blood.